The Best 85 International Jokes
Following is our collection of funny International jokes. There are some international womens jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these international international womens day puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest International Jokes and Puns
An international school teacher asks a question: "What's your own opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"
**An African student:** What's food?
**A European student:** What's scarcity?
**An American student:** What are 'other countries'?
**A Chinese student:** What's 'my own opinion'?
Today is International Women's Day.
It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready.
In honor of September 19th, what are your best pirate jokes?
September 19th is international talk like a pirate day, and I would love to hear all of your guys best pirate jokes. Here is mine:
Why do pirates have trouble learning the alphabet?
Because they spend years at Sea!
A teacher at an international school...
asks her class what their opinion is on giving food to people in other countries.
The Jewish kid asks "What is giving?"
The African kid asks "What is food?"
The Chinese kid asks "What is my opinion?"
And the American kid asks "What are other countries?"
An International School Teacher
...starts a lesson with her 4 students, who are an American kid, an African kid, a European kid and a Chinese kid. She asks "what's your opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"
first, the African kid asks "what's food?"
the European kid asks "what's scarcity?"
the American kid asks "what's other countries?"
and finally the Chinese kid asks "what's my own opinion?"
Did you know I have an international bathroom?
When you're heading there you're Russian
When you're in there European
and when you're done you're Finnish
*I'll show myself out*
Another sad news on an international celebrity...
Justin Bieber was found alive in her condo earlier today.
Du Hast
German heavy metal band Rammstein travels to Poland for the next stop on their international tour. As the airport official goes through their passports and checks them in, she asks, "Occupation?"
The singer replies, "No, no. Were just here to perform a show. We'll be gone by tomorrow morning."
There was an International Job opening.
Two men applied, a Canadian man, and an American. After the test and the interview, they company decided to go with the Canadian man. The American with distraught asked why they decided to hire the Canadian and how he did in the interview and test. They said it was a very difficult decision because they both did equally well on the test and in the interview. The American was outraged. "THEN WHY DID YOU HIRE THE CANADIAN?!?." The manager then responded, "Well, you both did equally well in the interview, but the real problem was the test. You both got 9/10 on the test, but for question 10, the Canadian man put 'I don't know' and you put 'me neither.'"
Shout out to my Math Teacher for telling me this one.
So I hear that the Euro is destabilizing and deflating...
...if its value decreases any more, Europe might have to switch back to their old international currency, Czechoslovakia.
A man walks into a bar...
...and loses the international limbo championship.
(I feel like this is probably really old, but I hadn't heard it before.)
You can explore international referendum reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean international organization dad jokes. There are also international puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Happy International Women's Day!
Or as I like to call it, Taco Tuesday
So today is International Women's Day
It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready.
^^stole ^^this ^^from ^^twitter, ^^sorry
I'm celebrating international women's day by not having my wife make me a sandwich today.
I'm going to Subway and having Rachel make it instead.
I combined National Pancake Day with International Women's Day
Took my wife to IHOP and ordered a stack of pancakes for myself, and 8/10ths of a stack for her.
What does the Cincinnati gorilla story tell us?
It's the first time that black-on-black crime made national (even international) news.
An artist found a way to draw a two-sided figure, but the International Geometry Summit immediately began to furiously contest the new shape...
I say, let bi-gons be bi-gons
In a huge lecture hall once I only had four international students turn up - English, French, Spanish and German. I asked if they could all see me. They said...
Yes, Oui, Si, Ja
So Pepe is now an international hate symbol...
FeelsBadMan.
International Contest
Great Britain and the USA are having a contest about who can mess up their country the most. Britain is leading, but the USA have a Trump card.
To commemorate the disaster in Mecca where a crane fell and crushed pilgrims, Saudi Arabia will build a restaurant at the site.
An IHOP: International House of Pancakes.
Wherever you are, if you need a romantic evening, call 180-LONG.
It's the International Date Line.
What do you call a potato that becomes US President and silences the news, silences government agencies, silences government funded science and ends international treaties?
A dic-tater.
I went to an international "Flat Earther" convention the other day
Turns out they have members all around the world
'Knock knock'
'Who's there'
'Okay Google'
'Okay Google, who?'
'Sorry I didn't catch that'
'OKAY GOOGLE WHO?'
'The World Health Organization is a specialized agency of the United Nations that is concerned with international public health. It was established on 7 April 1948, headquartered in Geneva, Switzerland. '
Today is International Women's Day.
It was supposed to be yesterday, but they took longer than expected to get dressed.
It appears international women's day was a HUGE success.
Women from all over the US demonstrated their femininity by not making up their minds about whether they wanted to celebrate it or not.
International Women's Day is over :(
Back to being International Men's day for the next 364 :)
I just finished writing a book on what it takes to create a global clothing company...
It's an International Vest-Seller
An international conference was being held..
In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.
The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".
African president asked, "What is food?".
Europe asked, "What is Short?".
USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".
North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".
How did the international good shipment feel as it crossed the border?
Tarrified.
TIL France got a different version of The Force Awakens than the rest of the world.
While the international version ends with Rey and Luke, the French version ends with fin.
My son found some handcuffs under our bed so I had to have "the talk" today...
I'm an international crime fighter now
International Boundaries
An Englishman, lecturing on his travels, was speaking disparagingly about the Scots and French in Canada, and how they intermarried with the Indians. "You'll find," he said "quite a number of Scot & French half-breeds, but you will not find any English half-breeds."
A Scot in the audience shouted, "The Indians have to draw the line somewhere!"
What international disaster occurred after someone dropped the Christmas dinner?
The downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece and the destruction of China.
What did the crew of the International Space Station say to Mission Control?
Houston, you have a problem.
Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey...
Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."
Today we celebrate international twins day.
Because twins are people two.
Happy International COPD Day mum!
I made you a cake to celebrate, now blow out the candles
Putin: "Russia did not meddle in 2016."
International Olympic Committee: "You certainly won't in 2018."
There's an international multi-event competition for military spouses, but the same team wins every year.
The Swiss Army Wives.
So what do you do?
*I sell prosthetic limbs to various countries.*
So you're like a med rep, but for amputees?
*I prefer international arms dealer.*
The Trump administration is like the International Space Station
They're in constant free fall, and they needed Russia's help to get there
It's International Women's Day today. I guess I should make some sort of sexist joke.
I'll have to simplify it for the women.
Originally, International Women's Day was celebrated on the 8 of January.
However, because they had to get ready, it has since been postponed to 8 March.
The International League of Bakers is inviting countries which mainly export baked goods to join.
They're accepting dough nations.
Today is the international day of the gullibles
I'm so happy, I bake a cake for the occasion!
Security officer: If you find a USB outside, don't bring it into the office
Me (taking notes): Note to self: Only bring international bees into the office
My Mexican employee who works on my farm doesn't like the nickname I've given him...
He's my International Harvester.
My #2 favorite international bread is pita
It's second to Naan.
There was a terrible attack on the International Fruit Expo this year.
I was the Dole survivor...
In these troubling political times with gun violence peaking, human rights scandals on us soil, and ongoing corruption investigations, it's always important to find the silver lining in things...
International Relations with Russia have never been better!
If North Korea tries to pull anything, they say the international retaliation will turn it into free space for South Koreans to store their cars
In other words, a Park-Kim lot
A first place winner at the International Pun Contest
A woman has identical twins and is forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're identical twins!
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
I've made a fortune through international human resource management!
Or 'human trafficking', as some call it.
My friend runs a very successful business making prosthetic limbs and exporting them worldwide.
He is an International Arms dealer.
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport
Re:LAX
On this international women's day I would like to say to all women everywhere
Thank you for your cervix
In honor of international women's day....
Why are women like a hurricane?
at first they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house.
Today is "International Women's Day",
but don't worry guys International Men's Day is coming April 1st.
Why is the outside of the International Space Station so clean?
Because of the vacuum of space!
Planning for this year's International Juggling Convention has ran into difficulties.
Organiser's have stated that its all up in the air.
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals. She said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!"
Her friend asked, "What's the capital of France?"
The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."
I punched a hole in my office wall today.
Don't understand why everyone else at the international space station is freaking out.
I just learned today is International Joke Day.
But do we really need a whole day dedicated to Trump?
NASA had a supply of rib eye on the last flight to the international space station to see how meat cooked in space. They called it their most important mission.
Because the steaks were never higher.
A joke Alexa told me during my morning routine
Happy international Left Handers day
On the other hand if you don't want to celebrate that's all right
These days, iron and steel are traded on the international commodity market, and if you need some, you just need to contact a trader.
Formerly, if you wanted iron or steel, you would need to go to an ironworks or even a blacksmith's and negotiate directly with the men who made it.
Whoever smelted, dealt it.
An international school teacher asks: What's your own honest opinion on food scarcity in other countries?
An African student responds: What's food?
A Western European student: What's scarcity?
An Eastern European student: What's honest?
A Chinese student: What's opinion?
A Russian student: What's your?
An American student: What's other countries?
Have you heard of the international bathroom?
When you go there, you're Russian.
Once there, European.
At the the end, you're Finnish.
Man says to his wife: today is International Generalizations Day
Wife replies: that's EVERY day with you
With the massive downturn in international travel, aircraft manufacturer Fokker has started developing planes for the military. Their latest is a small, super stealthy reconnaissance plane that is almost undetectable!
It's called the Sneaky Little Fokker.
Do you know why women and children are always evacuated first in any emergency situation?
So that all the men can think and come up with a solution in peace and quiet.
Source: my dad (to me on International Women's Day)
If assholes could fly...
Reddit would be an international airport.
I'd like to take the opportunity on this, International Women's Day, to refute allegations that I'm a sexist.
I've got a friend who's a woman. And I believe she should be treated as if she *is* equal.
Library of Congress bomber…
Yesterday's attempted bomber said there are 4 more bombs planted in DC. After botching bombing Congress by showing up at the Library of Congress, the FBI has ordered the immediate evacuation of :
-the Richmond Mall's Supreme Food Court
-The Hexagon Building on Connecticut Ave
-International House of Pancakes
-literally anyone with a white house.
You're so average
The International Bureau of Weights and Measures offered you a permanent position.
I'm starting a mail order bride service featuring women from around the world who have an STD.
Amnasty International.
During a job interview....
... for a position with an international company that prided itself on workplace diversity, Tony was asked how he viewed gay relationships in the workplace.
Apparently, "In 4K resolution" wasn't the right answer.
I really wanted to watch the International Origami Championships tonight.
Sadly, it's only on paper view.
Air Postal Service
A man sets down three pieces of luggage at a very famous **International Airlines** (*that shall not be named*) check-in counter and says, "I want the brown bag to go to London, the black one to go to Paris," he said. "And keep the third bag here till my return from Australia next week for pick up."
The check-in clerk blinked. A supervisor standing behind him overheard the request and came up. "I am sorry sir, but we are not the **post office**," he said, "we can't do that."
"Why not?" the irate passenger said, raising his voice, "That's what you did the last time!"
Thailand was having troubles trading with China.
China refused to accept Thailand's official currency, (the Baht) but the Thais noticed that China had no problem trading in South Korean Won.
So they made a plan to buy 3.2 trillion Won from Korea and use it as an official currency for international trade exchanges.
Unfortunately, it turns out that China will not recognize Thai Won.
Emergency measures
On behalf of the international community, as a humanitarian measure, we demand that President Putin be admitted to art school on an emergency basis.
Happy International Woman's day, ladies.
It was supposed to be yesterday, but you all took too long to get ready.
International womens day is not an excuse for low effort sexist jokes.
Period.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the international treaty jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working international worldwide piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.