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International Jokes

162 international jokes and hilarious international puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about international that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

From jokes about lions to ROTARY International conferences, this article brings a lighthearted look at international events. From the referendum on terrorism to the often-overlooked importance of international conferences, this article will leave you laughing and the important topics still firmly in your mind.

Funniest International Short Jokes

Short international jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The international humour may include short foreign jokes also.

  1. Security officer: If you find a USB outside, don't bring it into the office Me (taking notes): Note to self: Only bring international bees into the office
  2. I really wanted to watch the International origami Championships tonight. Sadly, it's only on paper view.
  3. A man walks into a bar... ...and loses the international limbo championship.
    (I feel like this is probably really old, but I hadn't heard it before.)
  4. TIL France got a different version of The Force Awakens than the rest of the world. While the international version ends with Rey and Luke, the French version ends with fin.
  5. Today is International Women's Day. It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready.
  6. You are what you think you are Her: What do you do?
    Me: Global prosthetics distribution.
    Her: So you're an artificial limb salesman?
    Me: I prefer 'international arms dealer'.
  7. What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common? Both are measured in revolutions per minute.
  8. Boss: "Sarcasm will get you nowhere in life"!! Me: "Well It got me to the 'International Sarcasm' finals in Santiago 2011
    Boss: "Really"?
    Me: "No"
  9. Today is International Women's Day. It was supposed to be yesterday, but they took longer than expected to get dressed.
  10. Star Wars Trivia: What is the internal Temperature of a TaunTaun? .
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    Luke-Warm

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International One Liners

Which international one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with international? I can suggest the ones about global and worldwide.

  1. International women's day should not be used as an excuse for sexist jokes Period.
  2. Monica Lewinsky i have a joke I have an intern joke and it ... nevermind.
  3. What's the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Luke Warm.
    May the 4th Be With You!
  4. Whats the internal temperature of a taun taun? Luke warm
  5. International womens day is not an excuse for low effort sexist jokes. Period.
  6. How is a meditating monk and a fiber-optic cable similar? Total internal reflection.
  7. Happy International Women's Day! Or as I like to call it, Taco Tuesday
  8. What's the internal temperature of a Ton-ton? Lukewarm
  9. Monica Lewinsky joke I have an intern joke and it... nevermind.
  10. What do you call a tangled rope on International Space Station? Astroknot
  11. My #2 favorite international bread is pita It's second to Naan.
  12. Why do pirates have trouble learning the alphabet? Because they spend years at Sea!
  13. Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players? They do it for the Experience.
  14. I work for the Big, International Non-Governmental Organization. And BINGO is its name-o.
  15. Today we celebrate international twins day. Because twins are people two.

International Womens Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny international womens day jokes and even better international womens day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • It's International Women's Day today. I guess I should make some sort of sexist joke. I'll have to simplify it for the women.
  • In honor of international women's day.... Why are women like a hurricane?

    at first they are wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house.
  • Originally, International Women's Day was celebrated on the 8 of January. However, because they had to get ready, it has since been postponed to 8 March.
  • It appears international women's day was a HUGE success. Women from all over the US demonstrated their femininity by not making up their minds about whether they wanted to celebrate it or not.
  • So today is International Women's Day It was supposed to be yesterday but they took too long to get ready.
    ^^stole ^^this ^^from ^^twitter, ^^sorry
  • Today is "International Women's Day", but don't worry guys International Men's Day is coming April 1st.
  • I'm celebrating international women's day by not having my wife make me a sandwich today. I'm going to Subway and having Rachel make it instead.
  • International Women's Day is over :( Back to being International Men's day for the next 364 :)
  • International women's day? Women don't need a day... They just need 5 minutes.
  • In honor of International Women's Day, I'm offering free breast exams in my hotel room tonight!

International Airport Jokes

Here is a list of funny international airport jokes and even better international airport puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport Re:LAX
  • Where did Miami International Airport go? It went MIA
  • So you need Andy Reid to take you to the airport for an international flight... lol you didn't learn anything from 2004?
  • I feel like Jordans International Airport missed a big oppurtunity to call their airport... Air Jordan.
  • Any international airport is like a children's cancer ward. It has a lot of terminals.
  • What did C-3PO say when the falcon landed at Pearson international airport? Toronto, Gosh!
  • If a**... could fly... Reddit would be an international airport.
International joke, If a**... could fly...

International Trade Jokes

Here is a list of funny international trade jokes and even better international trade puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Ever hear about the worst international trade deal ever? It was tarifful...
  • All this talk about International trade wars..... It's just Tariffying....

Lions International Jokes

Here is a list of funny lions international jokes and even better lions international puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I work for the organization that sets group names, like "a pride of lions", and I have to hire a new intern. This will take a while; I have a whole grovel of resumes to go through.
International joke, I work for the organization that sets group names, like "a pride of lions", and I have to hire a new

Uplifting International Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about international you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean industry jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make international pranks.

An international school teacher asks a question: "What's your own opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"

**An African student:** What's food?
**A European student:** What's scarcity?
**An American student:** What are 'other countries'?
**A Chinese student:** What's 'my own opinion'?

All US prison wardens got together and brainstormed to put a stop to prison rapes.

They finally decided on a high tech solution- an anti-slip soap bar with an internal combustion engine equipped with state of the art artificial engine that would fly the soap back to the prisoner's hand even if it somehow falls down.
The Russian wardens too found a solution- shower gel.

A teacher at an international school...

asks her class what their opinion is on giving food to people in other countries.
The Jewish kid asks "What is giving?"
The African kid asks "What is food?"
The Chinese kid asks "What is my opinion?"
And the American kid asks "What are other countries?"

What did the thirsty weatherman say to his intern?

I need my thermos, stat!

Dr joke I just made up

A young medical intern was standing in a hospital hallway, looking flustered whilst try to examine a patients' CAT scan. Seeing his confusion, an older doctor came to see what the problem was. He saw that the intern was reading the scan upside down, and turned it around for him. Seeing that the young intern was embarrassed by his mistake, the doctor said, "don't feel embarrassed, lad, there's more than one way to skim a CAT."

Last day for your taxes

A man walked into a restaurant with his young son. He gave the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy started choking, going blue in the face. The father realized the boy had swallowed the nickels and started slapping him on the back. The boy coughed up 2 of the nickels, but kept choking.
Looking at his son, the father panicked and shouted for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit was sitting at the coffee bar reading a
newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looked up, put her coffee cup down, neatly folded the newspaper and placed it on the counter, got up from her seat and made her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully dropped his pants, took hold of the boy's t**... and started to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulsed violently and coughed up the last nickel, which the woman deftly caught in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's t**..., the woman handed the nickel to the father and walked back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he was sure that his son had suffered no ill effects, the father rushed over to the woman and started thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
No," the woman replied, "I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."

An International School Teacher

...starts a lesson with her 4 students, who are an American kid, an African kid, a European kid and a Chinese kid. She asks "what's your opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"
first, the African kid asks "what's food?"
the European kid asks "what's scarcity?"
the American kid asks "what's other countries?"
and finally the Chinese kid asks "what's my own opinion?"

A doctor had s**......

A doctor had s**... with one of his female patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't.
The guilt and sense of betrayal of his patient were overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have s**... with one of his patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go."
But, invariably, another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering...
"You're a veterinarian, you sick s**... fiend."

Did you know I have an international bathroom?

When you're heading there you're Russian
When you're in there European
and when you're done you're Finnish
*I'll show myself out*

Another sad news on an international celebrity...

Justin Bieber was found alive in her condo earlier today.

Du Hast

German heavy metal band Rammstein travels to Poland for the next stop on their international tour. As the airport official goes through their passports and checks them in, she asks, "Occupation?"
The singer replies, "No, no. Were just here to perform a show. We'll be gone by tomorrow morning."

I'm currently working on a management oriented book focused on the delegation of tasks

"I'll have my secretary let you know when my intern finishes writing it." - Mr. Manager
Cordially,
Mrs. Team Lead

There was an International Job opening.

Two men applied, a Canadian man, and an American. After the test and the interview, they company decided to go with the Canadian man. The American with distraught asked why they decided to hire the Canadian and how he did in the interview and test. They said it was a very difficult decision because they both did equally well on the test and in the interview. The American was outraged. "THEN WHY DID YOU HIRE THE CANADIAN?!?." The manager then responded, "Well, you both did equally well in the interview, but the real problem was the test. You both got 9/10 on the test, but for question 10, the Canadian man put 'I don't know' and you put 'me neither.'"
Shout out to my Math Teacher for telling me this one.

So I hear that the Euro is destabilizing and deflating...

...if its value decreases any more, Europe might have to switch back to their old international currency, Czechoslovakia.

TBT - What's the difference between bill clinton and a screwdriver?

One turns in screws, one screws interns.

What do you call it when a waiter at an internet cafe gets your order wrong?

500 Internal Server Error

Practical joke

An intern decided to play a practical joke on a patient husband. He went to the waiting room. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news" the intern said "your wife is going to be a vegetable. You will have to bath her, feed her and care for her the rest of her life". The husband said in tears "oh my God!". The intern laughed "no. No. I'm just kidding. She is dead"

An artist found a way to draw a two-sided figure, but the International Geometry Summit immediately began to furiously contest the new shape...

I say, let bi-gons be bi-gons

What's the difference between a 19th century s**... and a 21st century unpaid intern?

No, seriously, I want to know.

An intern is "spanking it" in the laboratory.

A scientist walks into the lab and catches the intern. He is in shock. "What on Earth are you doing?" he asks. The intern does not stop. He takes notes with his other hand and watches the hydrogen ionize. The scientist comes to the conclusion that the intern and the hydrogen are meant for each other; they are both in the excited state.

In a huge lecture hall once I only had four international students turn up - English, French, Spanish and German. I asked if they could all see me. They said...

Yes, Oui, Si, Ja

So Pepe is now an international hate symbol...

FeelsBadMan.

American nuclear response time is around four minutes.

But eight minutes if you are using a cigar on a n**... intern.

Bill Clinton: "I sure hope Hillary gets better interns than I did..."

"All of mine s**..."

Bill: I hope Hillary will have better interns in the Oval Office than I did.

All of mine s**....

International Contest

Great Britain and the USA are having a contest about who can mess up their country the most. Britain is leading, but the USA have a Trump card.

What do your internal organs call their dating life?

Their homie-h**...-status

Why do Pakistan not have an international football team?

Everytime they get a corner they set up a shop.

What do you call a potato that becomes US President and silences the news, silences government agencies, silences government funded science and ends international treaties?

A dic-tater.

'Knock knock'

'Who's there'
'Okay Google'
'Okay Google, who?'
'Sorry I didn't catch that'
'OKAY GOOGLE WHO?'
'The World Health Organization is a specialized agency of the United Nations that is concerned with international public health. It was established on 7 April 1948, headquartered in Geneva, Switzerland. '

I just finished writing a book on what it takes to create a global clothing company...

It's an International Vest-Seller

An international conference was being held..

In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.
The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".
African president asked, "What is food?".
Europe asked, "What is Short?".
USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".
North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".

Teacher asks: You have 12 apples and you give your friend 7, how many apples you have left?

I answer: 12. I don't have any friends. (Crying internally)

How did the international good shipment feel as it crossed the border?

Tarrified.

The German consulate is in NYC for a big UN meeting...

The clock hits 12:30 and the meeting breaks for lunch. Being that he's in New York, the consulate requests to go out to lunch at a local Deli. An intern is charge with taking him out. As they are sitting and eating the consulate turns to the intern and exclaims,
"I have to admit, these bagels are really delicious! We don't have bagels like this in Germany."
"Well," the intern replies, "whose fault is that?"

My son found some handcuffs under our bed so I had to have "the talk" today...

I'm an international crime fighter now

International Boundaries

An Englishman, lecturing on his travels, was speaking disparagingly about the Scots and French in Canada, and how they intermarried with the Indians. "You'll find," he said "quite a number of Scot & French half-breeds, but you will not find any English half-breeds."
A Scot in the audience shouted, "The Indians have to draw the line somewhere!"

What international disaster occurred after someone dropped the Christmas dinner?

The downfall of Turkey, the overthrow of Greece and the destruction of China.

What did the crew of the International Space Station say to Mission Control?

Houston, you have a problem.

Astronauts release a photo of Hurricane Harvey...

Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; "Houston, you have a problem."

Husband says'' Honey, it's me. I don't want to alarm you but

. . . I was hit by a car as I was leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They've checked me over and dome some tests and x-rays. The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately, it didn't cause any serious internal injury. However, I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they think they might have to amputate my right foot.''
Wife : ''Who's Paula?''

My mom: You know, I love you very much. I'll fight with anyone who messes with you.

Me: You must have a lot of internal conflict
Sister: *gasp*
Mom: ....
Note: mom teased teased us a lot when we were kids

There's an international multi-event competition for military spouses, but the same team wins every year.

The Swiss Army Wives.

So what do you do?

*I sell prosthetic limbs to various countries.*
So you're like a med rep, but for amputees?
*I prefer international arms dealer.*

The Trump administration is like the International Space Station

They're in constant free fall, and they needed Russia's help to get there

What's the difference between depression and drinking hot cocoa on a cold winter night...

One's an internal struggle while the other is an internal snuggle.

There has been some controversy lately...

...about what would happen if you put a lightsaber in water. Would it break? Would the water heat up or cool? Recent scientists have discovered the water will heat to about the internal temperature of a tauntaun...luke warm.

A first place winner at the International Pun Contest

A woman has identical twins and is forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're identical twins!
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

Do you know what the internal temperature of a tauntaun is?

Luke warm
Seemed appropriate with all the Hoth stuff floating around.

On this international women's day I would like to say to all women everywhere

Thank you for your c**...

If Donald Trump had s**... with a White House intern

would they call him Bill of rights?

Why is the outside of the International Space Station so clean?

Because of the vacuum of space!

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals. She said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!"

Her friend asked, "What's the capital of France?"
The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."

What is the internal body temperature of a Tauntaun?

Luke warm

I just learned today is International Joke Day.

But do we really need a whole day dedicated to Trump?

Why do seagulls live by the sea?

Because if the lived by the bay, they would be bagels.

My very quiet intern brought this in when I asked her to find a joke a day to share. She couldn't finish telling it without cracking up.

International joke, Why do seagulls live by the sea?

jokes about international