The Best 87 Interested Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Interested jokes. There are some interested disinterested jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these interested interesting defense puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Interested Jokes and Puns
When a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she's either really interested or you're level 99 friend-zoned
Or she hasn't spotted you in the tree yet
"How long should my essay be?"
Back in high school I was in an english class and a fellow student asked the teacher how long our essays should be.
He responded saying, "As long as a girl's skirt: long enough to cover everything that needs to be covered, but short enough to keep me interested."
John sees a "boat for sale" sign and decides to go take a look...
Behind the sign the there is only an old tractor and a beat up truck, so he goes to the door and an old newfie answers.
John says "I'm interested in the boat you have for sale"
The newfie looks confused and says "no bye, I ain't got no boat for sale."
"But" John says, "you have a sign out by that old truck and tractor..."
"Aye," replies the newfie, "and dere boat for sale!"
A Kentucky Fried Chicken lobbyist meets with the Pope.
He offers a donation of ten million dollars to the church if the Pope agrees to change the words in the Lord's Prayer from give us this day our daily bread to give us this day our daily chicken
The Pope apologizes and says he is not interested.
100 million dollars , says the KFC rep.
Again the Pope shakes his head and explains that these words are sacred.
One billion dollars. This is our final offer.
After some consideration of the sum of the donation that the church is about to receive, the Pope reluctantly agrees to the deal. He then returned to the Vatican and called a meeting of all the Cardinals.
I have good news and bad news, the Pontiff said. The good news is, I have managed to secure a donation of one billion dollars to our church. The bad news is, we've lost the Wonder Bread account.
How do ghosts get ghouls interested in them?
They woooooooOOOOOOOooooo them.
I wanted to major in reverse psychology.
My dream school turned me down.
So I wrote them back and told them I wasn't even interested in their stupid program. They sent me a diploma.
I told my boss 3 companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my present job.
He asked which 3 were interested. I said the gas, electric and cable.
A kid was selling newspapers...
A kid was selling newspapers. He was yelling, "Boy cheats 100 fools!" to catch people's attention. A man walking by was interested and bought a newspaper. As he walked away with the newspaper, he heard the boy start yelling, "Boy cheats 101 fools!"
What's a gay man's favorite planet?
Earth, most likely. Unless he's personally interested in space exploration, in which case he might say Mars.
Convert today! $5000
Two elderly Jewish men were walking along when they came across a sign "Convert today! $5000." One of the men was interested and said he was going to see what it was all about. His friend had no interest and said he would wait on a bench. After 8 hours finally the man returns from the church.
"What happened that took forever?"
"Well the priest sat me down and explained to me all the things I have been doing wrong in my life. I realized he was right and I have converted."
"Yea yea but what about the $5000?"
"Jesus Christ is that all you people think about?"
Why did Adolf Hitler hate math class?
He didn't like showing his work; was only interested in the final solution.
You can explore interested curious reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean interested curiousity dad jokes. There are also interested puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Dad says, "College students are more interested in women today than ever before.."
A lot of them are in a program where they study a broad
My website just crashed from a huge influx of traffic today...
I wonder why so many people are interested in my superb owl, today of all days. I mean, he's really great and all, but he's just an owl.
post-graduate plans
My college counselor asked me what my post-graduate plans were, and I told her I was interested in cleaning mirrors. When she asked why, I just shrugged and told her it was a job I could see myself doing.
What do you call someone who keeps trying to catch your interest even though you already said you're not interested several times?
Windows 10.
If you want to know if a girl is into you, look at her feet.
If they point away from you she's not interested, if they're behind her ears she's very interested.
I have two tickets to the Euro's final..
problem is it's on the same day as my wedding... So if anyones interested it's at St.Peters church in Brighton and her name is Sarah.
Euro 2016
Hi! I've got 2 tickets for the final of Euro 2016 but forgot that it's on the same day as my wedding so I can't go.
If you are interested and want to go instead of me ...
... It's at St. Nicholas' Church, Brighton and she's called Jane.
I have two tickets to the 2017 Superbowl, but I'm getting married that day so I can't go.
If you're interested in going in my place, the wedding is at St. Peter's church and her name is Laura.
How to pick up a girl
Me: Are you interested in having the best sex of your life?
Her: No.
Me: Well then you came to the right place ;)
How is God just like every other man?
If you're not on your knees, he's not interested.
Ever since I installed Adblocker Plus things haven't been going so well..
All of a sudden chicks in my area are no longer interested in me.
Excuse me, are you interested in courses on ancient Egypt?
I promise it's not a pyramid scheme.
I have a time machine for sale.
If interested, call me two weeks ago.
An English class is writing an essay
One of the students asks how long the essay should be.
The teacher responds, "Like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep me interested".
Young couple codewords
The bashfull newlyweds decided to talk about "laundry" when one was interested in sex. A Year later, when the new was off, the Husband asked "do you want to help me do the laundry tonight?"
Wife: "No, I am too tired".
The next night: "I have a headache". Next
On the following night: "I just don't feel like it".
Finally wife says: "How about doing the Laundry tonight".
Hubby's reply: "No worries, Dear, it was just a small load and I did it by hand!"
Super bowl tickets
A buddy of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl. Box seats plus airfare, accommodation, etc., but he didn't realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.
If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church, in New York City, at 5 p.m. Her name's Louise. She's 5' 6", about 120 lbs., good cook, makes $130,000 a year! She will be the one in the white dress."
*this was forwarded to me by my dad just now, never heard before, thought was worthwhile for a chuckle.
So far, not a single girl I've asked is interested in a fling.
I don't think they trust my human catapult.
So my cousin screwed up bigtime
My cousin has two tickets for the 2017 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. Joseph Church, in Warwick, RI at 3 p.m. Her name is Amanda. She's 5'2, about 130 lbs. She's a good cook, too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
How to get free internet @ home
I live in an apartment complex so I have neighbors left to right and below me. One day I asked my neighbor if he was interested in splitting the cost of my wifi 50/50 so he could also use it. He agreed. I went on to my other neighbor downstairs and asked him the same thing. Now both my neighbors are paying for my wifi.
A man auditioned for a talent show
A man auditioned for a talent show and when he walked on to the stage the judge asked him what was his talent. The man replied "I do bird impressions".The judge said "Thats not something we would be interested in". The man said "Thats ok" and flew out the window.
One by one, all of my best friends have started to become interested in men as well as women.
So I'm just sitting here, watching the world go bi.
Obscene Caller
A woman answered a call from an unknown number.
"Hello," said the obscene caller, as he breathed heavily, "if you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action."
Listen honey," drawled the lady, "if you can hold it in one hand, I ain't interested"
Bird Impressions
A man goes to the circus and tells the talent recruiter that he would like to apply for a position. The recruiter asks what his talents are, and the man replies that he does amazing bird impressions. The recruiter tells the man he's seen a million bird impressions and is not interested. The man says, "that's too bad" and flies away.
Ever since I got Pornhub Premium local women in my area haven't been interested in me.
Help what do I do?
A cute girl winked at me
She must be extra interested because she winked with both eyes.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Apparently OJ Simpson is interested in dating again.
He's ready to have another stab at a relationship.
My buddy if I'd be interested in going to Bangladesh....
...."Sure!" I said. "Who's Ladesh?"
If anyone is interested, I'll be signing books today at Barnes & Noble from 6 pm...
until I'm removed by security.
Roy Moore is no longer interested in this year..
Because it's officially '18
A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2018 Super bowl.
Both box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at St Christopher's Church, in Baldwin at 3pm. Her name is Ashley, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too.....She'll be the one in the white dress.
A salesman approaches you
Thanks, but I'm not interested in microscopes right now.
Salesman: That's okay, take my business card anyway.
This text is tiny, I can't read it.
Salesman: Boy, do I have the product for you
**INFINITY WAR SPOILERS**
Ok now that all the nerds are gone, there's a party going on at my place this Saturday. hmu if you're interested.
I friend of mine has two tickets to the Super Bowl.
They are box seats, and include travel and hotel accomodation. He didn't realise when he bought the tickets that it was the same date as his wedding - so now he can't go.
So if you're interested and want to go instead of him. It's at St James's Church in Bootle at 3pm. Her name is Susan. She will be the one in the white dress.
Your wife is our hostage. You have 12 hours to send us one million dollars or we'll kill her!
Upon reading this text message, the husband responds...
My wife is actually sleeping right next to me, safe and sound but please tell me more about this deal, I may be interested.
I need to re-home a dog.
It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot. If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you.
Why don't archeologists get married?
They are only interested in dating.
Two lesbians interested in each other are sitting at a bar...
The one says to the other: let me be frank.
The other interrupts, saying: no, let ME be Frank.
I used to be interested in dinosaurs as a kid, but I'm more into birds now.
I guess you could say my interests have really evolved.
A woman opens up a stand near the train station selling apples for 1$
Each day, the same man walks over to the stand, leaves a 1$, but doesnt take any apples. This went on for an entire year, until one day, the man left a dollar and was about to leave but the woman grabbed him by the hand. The man says: "I see you are finally interested why I keep leaving a dollar but not buying any apples well-" The woman cuts him off: "No I am not the least bit interested, apples now cost 2$ instead of one".
There was a family of moles underground.
They were just relaxing down there when the father mole pokes his head out the hole and says wow, I smell sugar . The mother mole is interested so she pokes her head out the hole and exclaims wow I smell glucose! Then the mother mole calls her son over and he says holy cow I smell fructose! The sister mole wants to catch a whiff of the smell and climbs to the hole. Sadly the hole is clogged by her family and she said all I smell is molasses
People always wonder what got me interested in the candle business
I guess it was just common scents
A man is walking to his car late at night
When he sees a woman on a shady corner. He goes up to ask if she's alright and she responds
"I'm a hooker, are you interested?"
The man decides to live a little and takes her up on her offer and they go back to his car and go at it like rabbits.
Some time during, a cop pulls up and knocks on the window.
"Excuse me sir what exactly are you doing?"
The man answers "I'm having sex with my wife"
The cop replies with "I apologize, I didn't know."
The man responds with "Me neither."
Necrophiliacs are only interested in women that are drop dead gorgeous.
That's all.
Purchased Vs. Homemade
Six year old Annie returns home from school and says she had her first family planning lesson at school.
Her mother, very interested, asks; "How did it go?" "I nearly died of shame!" she answers.
"Sam from over the road, says that the stork brings babies.
Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage.
Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."
Her mother answers laughingly, "But that's no reason to be ashamed."
"No, but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves! that I was HOMEMADE."
The cleaning lady at work asked if I wanted to smoke a J with her
I declined because I'm not interested in high maintenance women
Looking to play a game of D&D. If anyone is interested, please
DM me
Are you guys interested in going out? Maybe getting some drinks? Hanging out? Playing games?
Asking for a friend.
Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
Asking for a friend.
Two beautiful women approached me at the bar and asked if I'd be interested in a threesome. I had to decline...
If I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time, I'd just go out to dinner with my parents.
Little 8-year-old Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was doing, he asked: What are you doing there, Nancy?
My goldfish died, Nancy sobbed. And I've just buried him.
The obnoxious neighbour laughed and said condescendingly: That's a really big hole for a little goldfish, don't you think?
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth with her shovel and replied: That's because he's inside your cat.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.
The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
My grandpa always told me that statistics are like skirts
They show some stuff that you are interested in but not the actual thing
A charity worker stopped me in the street and asked if I was interested in taking part in a marathon.
I was going to decline but he told me it was for disabled kids and children with severe learning difficulties. I thought "damn, I might actually win this".
Bees and flowers
As little Johnny had become increasingly interested in the girls over the summer, his mom told his dad he should talk to his son about the flowers and bees and such. Dad obligingly took Johnny fishing, and as they sat quietly by the water, he asked:
So Johnny, you remember last time we went fishing, right?
I sure do, dad!
And you remember those girls we met, right?
Of course!
Well, what we did to them, the bees do to the flowers as well.
I'd like to cancel my subscription to 2021
I've experienced the 7 day trial and I'm not interested
Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Johnny?"
"Well, my goldfish died," replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied... "That's because he's inside your cat!"
Anybody interested in a free ride in a helicopter for 4 people? I'm still looking for 2 more adults to join me and my wife.
We leave early Saturday morning (Feb 6th) from New York and will fly to Boston , where we will have breakfast, then have lunch on a friend's yacht.
Then we'll do a flight along the coast, up to Cape Elizabeth returning to Boston for dinner, then fly back home. If interested, please message me.
Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can't go.
A dog walks into the unemployment office..
"I need a job." He said, in perfect English.
Surprised, the clerk says "I'm sure the circus would be very interested in you. Shall I contact them?"
"If you like." Replied the dog. "But why would the circus need an architect?"
Ever since the government lockdown, my neighbor has had to run her business out of her backyard. She bakes delicious pastries.
Google Back Door Cream Pies if you're interested.
Action Composers
All the action heroes are at Stalone's house when their phones all go off. Their agents give them news about a new action movie focused on the great composers. After the call they are all talking about who they would like to play.
Stalone: I'm not going to be in it if I can't be Mozart.
Statham: I'm rather partial to Beethoven myself.
Jet Li: Chopin!
Everyone having had their turn they turn to Schwarzeneggar who is straight up not interested in the project.
Arnold: No! This is a dumb movie.
Everyone: Come on...
Arnold: Fine! I'll be Bach.
I need to re-home a dog
I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot.
If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you.
I've always been interested by the way different cultures say farewell
I guess you could say I'm bye curious
Translated (badly) Goulash is sitting and relaxing in the stomach...
Goulash is sitting and relaxing in the stomach, when suddenly a tequila falls in. He shrug it off and continue to relax, but after a while a rum falls in and join them.
He do some smalltalk but in general isn't much interested, so he continue to relax on his own. Then vodka falls in and joins.
He clearly annoyed by all this commotion asks "what the hell is going on up there?"
"You don't know? There is this huge party" says the vodka.
"Yeah? I need to check it out." says the goulash as he starts climbing up.
A Frog Visits A Fortune Teller
A frog goes to a fortune teller to find out if he will ever be lucky in love.
The fortune teller reads his palm and tells the frog, "I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
The frog asks for the good news first.
The fortune teller says, "You are going to meet the most beautiful girl, who is going to be very interested in you and will want to know all about you. She will want you to open up for her and you will give her your heart."
That's great!" says the frog. "But what's the bad news?"
Well, you're going to meet her in Biology class."
To the women who say "Men are only interested in one thing"
Have you ever considered being more interesting?
Anyone available??
I'M ASKING FOR A FRIEND............... A good friend of mine has two tickets for the 2022 Super Bowl, 50 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...
It's at St. Michaels Church, at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
Two tickets to the super bowl
A good buddy of mine has 2 Super Bowl tix, 40 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. Prob bc of the extra game this year.
If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place... Try to be on time. It's at Calvary church in Santa Monica at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be in the white dress.
Asking for a friend ............... A good friend of mine has two tickets for the 2022 Super Bowl.
They are 50 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...
It's at St. Michaels Church, at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
My kid says he's not interested in school -
so he tried joining the Board of Education.
A buddy of mine has two Super Bowl tickets.
40 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them it was going to be on the same day as his wedding - probably because of the extra game this year. If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place...It's at Sacred Heart Catholic church in Los Angeles at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be in the white dress.
A man and his new guard dog
A guy and his dog walk into a bar. The guy orders a beer and the dog flops down on the floor and immediately starts licking its butt. "This is my new attack dog," the guy tells the bartender. "He's very dangerous." The bartender looks at the dog that is still flopped down, panting, licking. "He doesn't look too scary from here, he's more interested in his butt." "Oh, don't mind that," the guy replies. "He just got done biting my lawyer. He's still trying to get the taste out of his mouth."
I asked my Native American wife if she'd be interested in owning some land.
She told me she had reservations.
Did you hear about the nonprofit businessman who raised chickens?
He was just interested in re-cooping his costs.
I wanted to start a line of men's shirts made solely out of vegetables.
But it doesn't seem that many guys are interested in Crop Tops.
Anyone out there interested in buying my DeLorean? Great condition, low mileage..
and really only driven from time to time...
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the interested barter jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working interested young piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.