Interest Rates Jokes
18 interest rates jokes and hilarious interest rates puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about interest rates that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Interest Rates Short Jokes
Short interest rates jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The interest rates humour may include short bank interest jokes also.
- Most people want to be bankers when they grow up But at this rate they are gonna lose interest
- There's been some interesting science news today. Apparently materials with a half life of 3 pass through valves at a extremely slow rate.
-plauge inc - My banker friend keeps talking about how attractive he is... He keeps talking about his high interest rates.
This made my fiancee try to smother me with a pillow. - Why can't economist get laid? Cause they can't get global growth 3% and interest rates are low
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Interest Rates One Liners
Which interest rates one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with interest rates? I can suggest the ones about exchange rate and student loans.
- If they raise the interest rates one more time... ...You're going to see Janet Yellen.
- The interest rates for a loan in the carribean are... 3.14.
- What do you call a shark that sells dirt at high interest rates? A loam shark.
Playful Interest Rates Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about interest rates you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean compound interest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make interest rates pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wish I could get lucky with banks as I am with women.
Women always offer a 0% interest rate.
Agreement
My wife and I have an agreement that works...
She is responsible for the small decisions, and I am responsible for the big ones.
This means that she decides things like where to take our next vacation, the color of our next car, and the construction budget for adding on the new family room.
I decide whether or not the President should extend most favored nation trading status to China, how high the Federal Reserve should go with short term interest rates, and the timetable for the elimination of CFCs from automobile air conditioners.
Blackbeard goes into a bank...
Blackbeard goes into a bank looking to secure a loan for a new ship. The banker nods and says
"Yes everything is in order. You'll be gettin' the standard 3.14% interest rate."
Blackbeard raises an eyebrow at that.
"The standard rate? What's that mean?"
"3.14%. You know...the Pi Rate."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was looking at my bank statement and realized I was a .1 percent-er
I don't know why anyone wants to be one, it's a c**... interest rate.
The empty house across the street
A biologist, a physicist and a mathematician are sitting on a porch having a beer and looking at the empty house across the street.
They see two people walk in through the front door, and an hour later three people walk out.
How interesting! said the biologist. They must have reproduced at an astonishing rate.
No, no , said the physicist. Clearly this is a case of teleportation, and the third individual was beamed in from elsewhere.
The mathematician sits quietly for a few minutes and remarks, if one more person goes into the house it will be empty again.
A cab driver reaches the pearly gates. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book and tells him to pick up a gold staff and a silk robe and proceed into Heaven.
Next in line is a preacher. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book, furrows his brow and says, "OK, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
The preacher is shocked and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie!"
St. Peter responds matter-of-factly, "This is Heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
6**... is the Number of the Beast
This from Todd Lewis, who has a great sense of humor.
We all know that .
But did you know that:
* $6**....95 - Retail price of the Beast
* $699.25 - Price of the Beast plus 5% sales tax
* $769.95 - Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
* $656.66 - Walmart price of the Beast
* 6, uh... what was that number again? - Number of the Blonde Beast
* 00666 - Zip code of the Beast
* 1-900-6**...-0666 - Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts! Call Now! Only $6.66/minute. Over 18 only please.
* Route 6**... - Highway of the Beast
* 6**... F - Oven temperature for roast Beast
* 666k - Retirement plan of the Beast
* 6.66 % - 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast National Bank, $6**... minimum deposit.
* i66686 - CPU of the Beast
* 666i - BMW of the Beast
* DSM-6**... - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
* 668 - Next-door neighbor of the Beast
* 2x4x666 - Lumber of the Beast
Einstein dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates...
Einstein dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where he is greeted by St. Peter. St. Peter tells him, "Oh, Einstein, we've not quite finished preparing your living quarters, so we'll have to ask you to temporarily room with a few other men for the time being." Einstein obliges, and St. Peter takes him to his temporary room, where he meets his 3 roommates. St. Peter, introducing Einstein to the first man, says "Einstein, this is Mark. He has an IQ of 130." Einstein says "Oh, wonderful, we'll be able to discuss physics together." St. Peter introduces him to the second man, "Einstein, this is James. He has an IQ of 150." Einstein says, "Marvelous, we'll be able to discuss mathematics and literature together." St. Peter introduces him to the third man, "Einstein, this is Will. he has an IQ of 80." Einstein turns to Will and says, "Oh, nice to meet you Will! So where do you think interest rates are headed?"