The Best 89 Interest Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Interest jokes. There are some interest concern jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these interest interesting defense puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Interest Jokes and Puns

My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3years, when we separated, she returned exactly $100.

I lost Interest in that relationship.

The wife asked me what I was doing on the internet last night.

I told her I was looking for flights. "I love you!" she said and then she got all excited. That night we had the most amazing sex ever... which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before.

I wanted to be a banker

But then I lost interest.

Interest joke, I wanted to be a banker

Why did the banker dump his girlfriend?

He lost interest.

Math in the real world

Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said. "I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."


Sex is like putting money in the bank....

When you take it out, the interest is all gone.

Three guys go to Heaven.

At the pearly gates, St Peter asks the first one:

"What did you do on Earth, son?"

I was a lawyer for public interest, i helped people keep their jobs"

"Come in, son!"

"And you?" to the second guy.

"I was a doctor, i helped people be healthy"

"Please come in, son"

Third guy answers: "I was a musician"

St Peter: "Oh, there's a door in the back"

Interest joke, Three guys go to Heaven.

What does the most interesting man in the world eat for breakfast?

Dos Eggies

What does sex and banks have in common?

You put it in, you take it out, then you lose interest!

Quit my banking job this morning

I lost interest

What's the difference between depositing into a regular bank and depositing into a sperm bank?

When you deposit into a sperm bank you lose interest.

You can explore interest curiousity reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean interest generate dad jokes. There are also interest puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A banker broke up with his girlfriend...

He lost interest.

A job interview is a lot like a first date

The major differences being that you have no interest in sleeping with the other person and you'll end up making a lot of money if things go well. So basically, a job interview is exactly like a first date for a woman.

I've grown an interest with Mussolini's Italy.

I guess you can call it a fascistnation.

Nerdy financial humor. You have been warned.

I started showing more interest in one of my investments.

It appreciated it.

Women are alot like continents.

At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- virgin territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.

Interest joke, Women are alot like continents.

Interesting accents!

3 hefty women walk into a restaurant, and sit down at a table. The server comes to take their drink orders. When they're done ordering he says, "What an interesting accent! Are you broads from Scotland?"

One woman looks at him with surprise and disgust and says, "WALES!"

The bartender says, "Okay, fine. Are you whales from Scotland?"

Ever since I've downloaded Adblock, all the single girls in my area seem to have lost interest...

My bank is trying to get people to open additional savings accounts,

but there is no interest.


I told my boss I needed a raise to stay at work because there are three different companies showing interest in me...

He asked me which companies and I told him, "The gas, electric, and cable ones"

I used to like banking...

... But then I lost interest.

Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan?

Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest.

Why are Subway and Jared no longer together?

Because Subway has been around longer than 17 years and Jared lost interest.

An artist gets some good and bad news.

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

"I have some good news and some bad news," the owner replied. The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death." "When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"The guy is your doctor !"

Plank goes to a ball game

A small plank of wood goes to Watch a baseball game. For the first few innings, the plank is super into it. But by the seventh inning, its interest starts to fade.

A man nearby notices the fading enjoyment and starts up a conversation.

"Hey man, how you liking the game?" He asks.

"I really like it. I think it's pretty cool" the small plank replies.

"Really," says the man, "cuz it seems to me like you're a little board."

Old bankers never die...

...They just lose interest.

Convert today! $5000

Two elderly Jewish men were walking along when they came across a sign "Convert today! $5000." One of the men was interested and said he was going to see what it was all about. His friend had no interest and said he would wait on a bench. After 8 hours finally the man returns from the church.

"What happened that took forever?"

"Well the priest sat me down and explained to me all the things I have been doing wrong in my life. I realized he was right and I have converted."

"Yea yea but what about the $5000?"

"Jesus Christ is that all you people think about?"

What do you call a werewolf who has taken an interest in social justice?

Awarewolf

I met a girl who didn't like dried fruit.

Well I certainly couldn't interest her in a date.

I've accepted that my brother is never paying back that money I loaned him...

I've lost interest, and I'm just giving up on the principal.

Sex after Surgery

A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that a woman has sued Wellington Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied: "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight!"

What do you call someone who keeps trying to catch your interest even though you already said you're not interested several times?

Windows 10.

Pickup line: Hey girl, did I take a loan from you?

Because my interest in you keeps growing.

Men are like bank accounts.

Without money they won't generate much interest.

I was thinking of becoming a banker ...

But I lost interest

Why won't bankers go to the opera?

Because they quickly lose interest

A very interesting poem

> I dig

> You dig

> He dig

> She dig

> They dig

> We dig

It might not be very long, but I think it is very deep.

What does sex have in common with a savings account?

You lose interest once you make a withdrawal

My wife is like a new credit card.

0% interest for 12 months.

The Artist

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. "Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news
is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"The gentleman was your doctor."

Olympics Ticket

To whoever might interest, a friend of mine bought a ticket for the Olympics football finals, but he didn't realize the date was the same as his upcoming marriage.

If any of you wants to take his place, with everything already paid, the marriage takes place at the Catholic Church and the bride's name is Joanna.

A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting on a bench at the park...

A priest and a rabbi were sitting on a bench at the park. They both watched with interest as a troop of boy scouts marched by on a nature walk. Through the side of his mouth, the priest murmurs to the Rabbi, "I'd sure like to screw those boys over there..."

To which the Rabbi replies, "Screw them out of what?"

In a bar, there's a guy hitting on a cute Banker girl

The guy brags about all his riches and possessions, but he got shot down by the girl immediately.

The girl said, "Leave me a loan!"

The guy noticed the wordplay, he praised the girl. "That's a pretty clever pun! ...But not as pretty as you"

The girl, now irritated, said. "I'm not kidding, leave me a loan! I lost interest."

If I had a dollar for every time a woman didn't show interest in me

They'd probably eventually show interest in me

Hey baby, are you an introductory credit card offer?

Because your terms are hard to understand and you keep saying you have no interest.

Dang girl are you a zero percent APR loan?

cuz I don't understand your terms and conditions and you keep saying you have no interest

Told the wife I was looking online for flights

She was absolutely delighted!

How bizzare! She's never mentioned her interest in darts before

The police called me "boring" and released me after only 20 minutes,

I guess I wasn't a person of interest.

Why did the banker quit his job?

He lost interest.

I might not get many upvotes for this joke about high-yield savings accounts...

But it won't be for lack of interest.

Why did the head banker get fired?

He just lost interest in the job

The United States Postal Service is, in the interest of gender neutrality, discontinuing the title of "Mailman"

and changing it to "Personman".

I think it's interesting how people sleep differently

I usually sleep on my back, my brother sleeps on his stomach, and my ex sleeps with half of this town

If anyone is interested, I'll be signing books today at Barnes & Noble from 6 pm...

until I'm removed by security.

Man: Hey sir! Could I interest you in a microscope?

Customer: No thanks, I'd have no use.
Man: Here is my business card in case you ever do!
Customer: I can't read this, it's too small!
Man: Boy have I got the product for you!

Sex is like banking

First you make a deposit.
Then you make a withdrawal.
Then you lose interest.

It's interesting how different a US president looks at the end of their presidency. Obama had gray hair. Bush had a bunch of wrinkles..

At the end of JFKs presidency, half of his head was missing.

I used to be a banker...

But I lost interest.

I am fascinated by mountains.

They peak my interest.

It's interesting how different parts of the country have different ways of saying the same thing.

For instance, in most parts of the country, having an income of $100k or more is called "making six figures".

However, here in San Francisco, we call that same thing "living above the poverty line".

This sub is just terrible bank of awful puns

and I'm losing interest

Ever since I installed AdBlock....

All the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest

Wife : You stopped loving me after we got married...

Husband :I told you before marriage that I have no interest in married women....

My kids were very excited to learn how to make a hamburger.

They seemed to lose interest after I cut the cow's throat.

I used to be interested in dinosaurs as a kid, but I'm more into birds now.

I guess you could say my interests have really evolved.

My girlfriend borrowed 200$ from me when we met. 4 years later, when we broke up, she gave me exactly 200$ back.

I lost interest in that relationship.

Interesting fact: the sun makes up 99.86% of the solar system's mass!

The rest is your mama

Since I've installed Adblock Plus

All the girls in my area suddenly lost their interest in me.

I loaned $200 to my girlfriend 5 years ago. She returned exactly $200 after we separated.

I lost interest in that relationship

Interesting Research

Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Would anyone be interested in being my companion?

Asking for a friend.

An interesting game

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting.' So we stopped playing chess.

The Artist

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings which were on display.
''I have good news and bad news'' the owner replied.
''The good news is that a gentleman enquired if your paintings will increase in value after your death. When I told them they would, he bought all the 15 paintings hanging here!''
''That's wonderful!'' the artist exclaimed, ''What's the bad news?''
''The bad news is that the guy was your doctor''

I wish I could get lucky with banks as I am with women.

Women always offer a 0% interest rate.

In china, they invented a machine that can capture thieves

They tested out the machine in china for a week and they caught 2 thieves. The following week the russians decided to test this machine in Moscow, they caught 10 thieves. Seeing the machine's success, the Mexican government wanted to try this in the City of Mexico, they caught 400 thieves. Then the Americans caught interest and decided to test the machine in Detroit... They stole the machine

Damn girl you must be a bank account

Because I have zero interest

A good speech should be like a woman's skirt;

long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.

Anybody interested in a free ride in a helicopter for 4 people? I'm still looking for 2 more adults to join me and my wife.

We leave early Saturday morning (Feb 6th) from New York and will fly to Boston , where we will have breakfast, then have lunch on a friend's yacht.
Then we'll do a flight along the coast, up to Cape Elizabeth returning to Boston for dinner, then fly back home. If interested, please message me.

Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can't go.

Read the whole thing, it's worth it

A woman sued a hospital stating that after recent treatment, her husband has lost interest in sex

The hospital in their defense stated all we did was correct his eyesight

A man is told the local bank offers mortgages with no interest

The man enters the bank.

Man: I'm here to find out about the mortgage

Employee: I don't really care.

I loaned my girlfriend $100 sometime soon after we met. After 3 years, when I broke up with her, she returned exactly $100.

I guess I just lost interest in that relationship.

Why did the banker break up with his girlfriend?

Because she showed him no interest

"An interesting title" doesn't sparks interest

Two men are walking down the street when they happen upon a dog licking his balls, The first man says " Boy, I wish I could do that" The second guy says" I tried once and he bit me".

Why did the banker switch career ?

Because she lost interest

Three blondes are on a walk

While on this walk, they come across an interesting set of tracks. Taking interest in it, each of the girls have a guess as to what animal it could be.

The first blond said "I bet those are bear tracks", to which the other two scoff and say there were no bears around.

The second blond says "they might be raccoon tracks", but the others point out they have never seen raccoon tracks that big before.

The third one, joking, says "I bet those are elephant footprints" and they have a good laugh about it.

Then the train hit them.

A good conversation is like a miniskirt…

Short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.


Cr

Interesting Parliaments.

Member of Parliament: Mr speaker, half of the members in this house are stupid.

Speaker: Honourable member please withdraw that statement.

Member of parliament: My apologies Mr speaker, half of members in this house are not stupid.

Speaker: Thank you, lets move on.

I'm trying to build interest for my new children's book

It's about a vixen whose tail hurts, and each page after the introduction is a new animal trying to help her heal or deal with the pain. Sadly, every publisher I've contacted has rejected the manuscript outright.

I'm not giving up, though. "For Fox' ache" will find it's audience someday.

I have a joke about Islamic financing

But there's no interest .

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the interest motives jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working interest payments piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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