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Intended Jokes

50 intended jokes and hilarious intended puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about intended that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Intended Short Jokes

Short intended jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The intended humour may include short designed jokes also.

  1. The use of a colon can really change the intended meaning of a sentence. Jimmy went to school and ate his lunch
    becomes
    Jimmy went to school and ate his colon
  2. I've been charged with killing a man with sandpaper To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit
  3. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was originally intended to be for Wii U But mid-way through development they made the switch.
  4. Dodged the bullet A girl asked me today if she is wearing too much make-up. I told her my reply depends on whether or not she intends to kill Batman.
  5. President Donald Trump said that by 2050 US forces intend to attack the Sun if it does not stop nuclear reactions. the attack is planned at night or they will just fly from the dark side.
  6. I've been charged with murdering a man with sandpaper. But, to be honest, I just intended to rough him up a bit.
  7. FINALLY A QUALITY PUN (Un intended)  FINALLY A QUALITY PUN
    OFFICER: The victims were dismembered and sacrificed on an altar made of antlers
    Detective: Dear God !!!
    OFFICER: Most likely yes
     
  8. Whenever people ask me if that pun I just made was intended... I reply, "Nope unintended!"
  9. Reminder Dear Mr Putin,
    As a quick reminder, the Geneva convention is not intended as a checklist.
    Sincerely yours,
    Everyone else
  10. As a mark of respect to Prince... The local pub is putting on a wake tomorrow night. All you can eat and drink for under 20 quid.
    I for one intend to party like it's £19.99.

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Intended One Liners

Which intended one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with intended? I can suggest the ones about aimed and planned.

  1. What does a baker says after cracking a wordplay joke? Bun intended
  2. If god hadn't intended us to eat animals... ...he wouldn't have made them out of food.
  3. I take my puns VERY seriously (no fun intended)
  4. I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
  5. I had a joke about bad snipers but I am afraid it won't hit the intended audience.
  6. I only drink water the way jesus intended it to be drunk Like wine
  7. I asked my friend if it was intended for him to cheese the pizza joke. "Nope Unintended"
  8. I intend to live forever... or die trying.
  9. "I sent in ten entries to a pun competition....." I didn't win. No pun intended.
  10. Stop vandalizing coloring books. They're already printed the way God intended.
  11. I intended to put all my money in to electric stairs... but the costs kept escalating
  12. V V
    Guys I think my control key works as intended!
  13. I went to a store with a lot of clothing intended for skinny people. They had some XS.
  14. Did Christopher Columbus intend to find America? No, it was occidental.
  15. When people ask me whether a oun I made was intended... I say "Nope unintended!"

Pun Intended Jokes

Here is a list of funny pun intended jokes and even better pun intended puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • After a long discussion about our future, my partner and I decided to name our first born 'No Pun'. That way they'll certainly be aware that they weren't intended.
  • 9 out of 10 jokes I make I come up with.. but eventually I look on the internet for more. I'd say coming from the internet one pun intended.
  • The news about charlie sheen having h**... is the only positive thing I have been reading in my Facebook timeline all week. No pun intended.
Intended joke, The news about <a href="/charlie-sheen-jokes.html" title="Charlie Sheen jokes">charlie sheen</a> hav

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about intended can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of intended puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Giggle-Inducing Intended Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about intended you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean intentions jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make intended prank.

Q. What do b**... and Legos have in common?

A. They were both intended for babies but adults also enjoy them.

A father tells his 10 year old son...

"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life".
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186 leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great grandchildren and a 7 foot crater where the crematory used to be.
UPDATE: This blew up. (Pun not intended)

I gave my Marine buddy a gag gift.

I thought it would be funny to give him a 30 piece wooden jigsaw puzzle, intended for toddlers, as a birthday gift, but it backfired on me. Now, every time I see him, I have to listen to him brag about his puzzle skills.
"The box says 2-4 years, but I finished it in only a week and a half!"

k**... Pastor

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux k**....
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux k**.... I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

Who's your daddy?

A father's daughter brought home her prospective fiancee
It was the first time he'd met him and he took the opportunity to quiz him a bit
"So, what do you do for a living?" he asked
"I have no job" he replied
"Really? Well how do you expect to provide for my daughter?"
"God will provide, I'm sure" was the answer from the intended
"And how exactly will he do that then?"
"God is merciful and will ensure we do not want" he said with all sincerity
"And how about if you have kids? Who looks after you then?"
"God will ensure he provides bounty for the whole family"
"OK, so you say, but exactly how will God provide this?"
"I don't know yet. God will move in his own mysterious ways"
At this point, the father gives up and leaves the house fuming, heading straight for the bar. there he meets his friend Dave who asks,
"What's up friend? You seem troubled"
"Well, I've just met my girl's new fiancé"
"Oh man, bad news?"
"Well, on the plus side, he does at least seem to think I'm God..."

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind....

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?
Yes, I know, said the lady, I need both hands to hold onto this hat. But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed! said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!

The Jew says...

A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner.

Catholic: I have a large fortune… I am going to buy Citibank!

Protestant: I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!

Muslim: I am a fabulously rich prince… I intend to purchase Microsoft!

They all wait for the Jew to speak…

The Jew stirs his coffee, places the spoon neatly on the table, takes a sip of his coffee,
looks at them and casually says: I'm not selling!!

Sandpaper

I've been charged with m**... for killing a man with sandpaper.
Gosh, I only intended to rough him up a bit.

A guy walking I to a bar and says to the barman "quick, get me a shot before it starts"...

The bartender gives him a shot which he knocks back and says "quick quick another one before it starts".
The bartender gives him another shot which he knocks back and says "another... before it starts"
The bartender says "wait a minute, how do you intend to pay for these drinks"?
"Ah" the man says, throwing his arms up in frustration... "it's started"

What do train sets and b**... have in common?

They're intended for children, but it's usually the adults who end up playing with them

Old lady on a cruise...

The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?
Yes, I know, said the lady, I need both hands to hold onto this hat. But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed! said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!

An Australian is aboard the wrong airplane

The flight attendant approaches them and says I'm so sorry. I'm not sure how this mix-up happened but this plane is arriving in an entirely different country than your intended destination.
The Australian says No way.
The flight attendant replies Sweden, actually.

The road to h**... is paved with good intentions.

Thats why I always intend bad things.

A man is falling out of a plane.

A man is falling out of a plane, intending to go parachuting. He pulls the ripcord, and it breaks.
Okay, he thinks. That's why there's a backup. He pulls the backup ripcord, and... It breaks.
At this point, he's thoroughly worried. But then, he sees a guy flying up right at him, as though propelled by an e**....
"HEY!" He shouts. "DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PARACHUTES?"
"NO!" Replies the propelled man. "DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PROPANE GRILLS?"

What's the similarity between b**... and Raspberry Pi computers?

Both were intended for kids but it's the adults that end up playing with them more

For my next trick, I intend to eat a
percussion instrument in a sandwich.

Drum roll please...

Psychic medium: So you would like to contact your late wife?

Me: Yes
Medium: How do you intend to pay for this?
Me: Oh my god, it's her!!

Intended joke, Psychic medium: So you would like to contact your late wife?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these intended jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.