Intellect Jokes

13 intellect jokes and hilarious intellect puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about intellect that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Intellect Short Jokes

Short intellect jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The intellect humour may include short intel your jokes also.

  1. I asked my girlfriend - what do you like the most about me ? Is it my handsome look ? Is it my amazing intellect ? Is it my astonishing achievements ? She said "Its your sense of humor"
  2. People call me slow, but ... It's just that my wit is so fast, and my intellect so massive, that my brain is subject to relativistic time dilation.
  3. A man asks his wife: What do you most like about me, my body or my intellect? She responds: your sense of humor.
  4. What does 4 wheel drive and a high intellect have in common? They both allow you to get stuck where others can't pull you out.
  5. I like my women like I like my microwaves. Void of intellect and will kill anything alive inside of it.
  6. I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength. I call it "Book Club"
  7. Romance. Mystery. Intellect... Bus. Gardening. Spoons.

    All these and more words in "Dictionary: The Movie".
  8. Some r**... say there are 76 genders, some normal people say there are 2 genders, some intellects say there is only 1 gender. But I think there are 3 genders
    1. Male
    2. Female
    3. Mental Illness

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Intellect One Liners

Which intellect one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with intellect? I can suggest the ones about intelligent and logical thinking.

  1. You know what they say about men who read a lot. They have larger than average intellect.

Intellect joke, You know what they say about men who read a lot.

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Intellect Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about intellect you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean instinct jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make intellect pranks.

Norwegians like to joke about the inferior intellect of our Swedish neighbors. This is my favorite joke:

A Norwegian is sitting at the bar and enjoying a nice drink. He turns to the large muscle man sitting by his side and asks: "Do you wan't to hear a joke about the swedes?"
The man replies: "Well, buddy, before you tell that joke I'd like you to know this: I am the current Swedish heavy weight boxing champion. The guy next to me won the Swedish wrestling championship five times and the guy sitting next to him represented Sweden in the Olympic games as a weight lifter. Are you absolutely sure you wan't to tell that joke?"
The Norwegian thinks for a few seconds and replies: "Meh, Not if I have to explain the joke THREE times."

The Jewish Fishmonger

So this man goes to his Jewish fishmonger and says, "All your neighbors praise your smartness and intellect. What's the secret?"
The fishmonger says that he eats 3 fish heads a day. He offers to to sell the man a fish head for 3 dollars. The man buys 3 fish heads.
Some weeks go by. Then one day the man storms into the fishmongers shop and exclaims, "You sold my neighbor a whole fish for a dollar and 50 cents. How come you're charging me 3 dollars for a fish head?"
The Jew calmly replies, "See, I told you, you're getting smarter already."

Oh, a joke standing still indeed!

A philosopher, a tree, and an elephant resided along the shore of a lake. As time passed, the philosopher, the tree, and the elephant became thirsty. The philosopher, not knowing how or where to drink safely, observed the elephant. He watched as the animal moved away from the shore into deeper waters. The elephant proceeded to drink the water surrounding itself. This was of no help to the philosopher, as swimming towards the deep waters of the lake would have proved dangerous due to predatory animals. The philosopher sought to observe the habits of the tree, but its roots were too far underground to analyze, and the different way of utilizing water made the task of understanding the system impossible to complete with only direct observation by a human. Feeling defeated, the philosopher pondered, If I cannot even keep myself healthy, why value the advanced intellect I possess over these creatures? . The intellectual grew tired, so he made his way out of the man-made safari; he drank from a water fountain close to the exit and continued by walking out of the tourist attraction.

Intellect joke, Oh, a joke standing still indeed!