Intel Jokes
90 intel jokes and hilarious intel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about intel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your Intel powered device even more entertaining with these funny, funny Intel jokes! Laugh along with your favorite apps, Dell GPU's, and more. Have a laugh break, and let Intel bring the laughs.
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Funniest Intel Short Jokes
Short intel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The intel humour may include short apps jokes also.
- CEO Brian Krzanich sold his stock, and it might be considered insider trading... You could say he had certain Intel about the situation.
This could turn into a total Meltdown. - I'm surprised more people didn't know about the NSA spying programs I mean most of our computers are labelled "Intel"
- What's the difference between a spy and a computer? A spy has inside intel.
A computer has Intel Inside. - My friend told me that he was going to buy a bunch of Intel CPUs. I told him to stop that non-Zens.
- What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common? Immigrants
- Intel's CPUs aren't overpriced... If you subtract the amount you'll save on heating this winter, you're profiting!
- What's the difference between Intel and InCel? Intel is in computers, but InCels aren't in anything.
- Use Intel Integrated Graphics at Very High settings in CS:GO and save lives Only thing which Intel Integrated Graphics does better than other dGPUs.
- I like to copy forum posts from Intel forums to Amd forums People call me a reposter, But actually I'm a threadripper.
- Hey, stop worrying about everything going on about Intel It's not like their CEO had insider Intel.
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Intel One Liners
Which intel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with intel? I can suggest the ones about dell and browser.
- Has anyone heard of the disastrous news about the CPU chip flaws? seems like bad intel..
- I tried to get my mom to switch from AMD to Intel... ...but I couldn't Celeron it.
- What did Jesus say when he switched from Intel to AMD? Do not mourn me for I have Ryzen.
- AMD is red, Intel is blue, I choose i7 because Ryzen are few.
- Apple had to stop spying on its competitors... ...they had a lack of Intel.
- Since the Intel processors are named i3, i5 and i7... does that mean Intel can't even?
- How do Intel workers celebrate and congratulate each other? They give each other i5's.
- Why do amateur gamers always lose battles? They don't have enough Intel.
- Why did the spy steal the laptop? It had a sticker that said 'intel inside'.
- Why is Intel collaborating with ARM ? To replace the leg it lost to AMD.
- How do you get to Intel ME? You get on DBUS.
- What do they eat at Intel? Chips
- [original] How is an AI class called? An intel-lecture.
- what does Intel and Hollywood have in common ? the number of flops goes up and up
- My girlfriend nicknamed me after a PC She loved when I was *Intel Inside* ™ her
Intel Your Jokes
Here is a list of funny intel your jokes and even better intel your puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Since their move to Ireland. Apple's profits have been Dublin. As well as Google, Amazon, Facebook, Intel, IBM, Paypal, eBay, Twitter and many more...
- What means "Intel inside" A warning!
- Why can't Intel-based phones enjoy Pokémon Go? Because Intel Inside.
Hilarious Fun Intel Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about intel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean intel your jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make intel pranks.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
Intelligence is like an underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to die without knowing what 95% of a scientific calculator is used for.
We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.
You had me at cello.
This must be the 8th castle because I just found my princess.
Waitress: 'Do u have any questions about the menu?' Me: 'What kind of font is this?'
A 'Jim's Dozen' is 11, because I take one for myself.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My brain is not equipped with f**... or name recognition technology.
If I was smarter, I would know so much more stuff.
Dates a zombie: so someone finally likes me for my brain.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I typed "married" but it was auto-corrected to "martyred". d**...,smartphone has gained intelligence.
A rolling stone... somebody pushed it.
I heard you were good at algebra. Can you replace my X without asking y?
Why do I always know where to go when I am canoeing? Because I "canoe" it.
To kick start my New Year: I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Why do soccer players do so well in math? They know how to use their heads!
The downside of dating intelligent women is having to Google the names they call you when it ends badly.
Seek knowledge from cradle to the grave.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Self Control - the only way to survive in a world full of idiots.
The intelligent dog
Roxy, a large black Labrador, was sitting up in his seat at the movies, wagging his tail, growling at the villain and barking excitedly at the hero's escapades. The woman in the seat behind him was intrigued.
Excuse me, she said, tapping Roxy's owner on the shoulder, that dog is extraordinary. I've never seen anything like it!
Yes, he's surprised me, too, said the owner. He hated the book.
German spies
During the war, two German spies were sent to London to gather valuable intel. To immerse themselves in the local culture they walk into a local pub and walk up to the bar. The first German says to the barman in an impeccable English accent
"May I have two Martinis please?"
"Dry?" asked the barman.
The German replied, holding up two fingers.
"Nein! Zwei!"
Why was the intelligent Heineken upset?
'Cus the bud's wiser.
Your intelligence is exactly like what I have in my terrarium
Minute
Your intelligence is precisely what I have in my terrarium
My newt
Intellectual Property
Carpe TM.
I think my intelligence is beyond of an average human
I just finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months, and at the back of the box it says 2-4 years
What do intelligent women do?
What they're told.
Why don't intellectuals go outside?
The weather is controlled by the media.
What's Canada's intelligence agency called?
The C.I. Eh
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a folder on FBI's servers that contains all the intel on known child molesters?
A p**... File.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tormented for over an hour... that poor mentally disabled man...
But, you have to give the intel folks who brief Trump, credit for trying.
Former intelligence agent: "I have potentially explosive information on Trump's relationship with Russia."
Buzzfeed journalist: "Ok please go on."
Former intelligence agent: "I have information that a number of years ago, Donald Trump visits Russia."
Buzzfeed journalist: "Oh really? So then, what happens next?"
Former intelligence agent: "What happens next will shock you."
How do intelligent people get their IQs measured?
We don't.
Intelligence is the first thing I look for in woman..
Because if she doesn't have THAT, I may just have a chance.
New intelligence data is showing ISIS is using new and dangerous ingredients to make explosives
Pop Rocks and Coke
An intelligent young lady, Miss Bright
She travelled far faster than light,
Leaving one day in a relative way,
Arriving home the previous night.
Intellectuals know that the Earth revolves around the Sun...
Canadians know that the universe revolves around Toronto
Intelligent Minds
Albert Einstein: Genius mind
Isaac Newton: Extraordinary mind
Bill Gates: Brilliant mind
You: Never mind
Intelligence is like underwear.
Important to have, but don't show it off.
You don't need to be intellectual to understand this joke.
Because /u/fiction_is_me can't fly.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Catholic priests are like Intel CPUs.
They have little Andy in.
Intelligent life forms
Why is it that when man searches for intelligent life forms they direct the sensors away from the earth?
Even the most intelligent people can't survive a day without electricity
Like Stephen Hawking
Once there was a raid at the club. Intel was that there was black money in the club
A officer, during the raid found the money. He went to the supervisor and told him-
"Sir, we have found the money! It's 5 million dollars, cash!"
"What's that officer? You say there's 2 million dollars found in raid?"
"That's right sir! We have found a million dollars of cash here!! "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
intelligent monkey
A Grandmother buys a bag of peanuts so her Grandson can feed the monkeys at the Zoo. Upon receiving a peanut one monkey inserted the hull rectally, nodded, then extracted and devoured it. The Grandmother informed the Head Zookeeper of the animals' aberrant behavior, saying " That monkey is either profoundly disturbed or extremely s**...". The Zookeeper explained that the animal was neither, saying , " Last week someone fed him a peach and he couldn't pass the pit. Now he measures everything first!".
Without telling my wife, I bought a gaming pc for my son as a birthday gift. Check out the specs: Intel Core i7 10700K, MSI MPG Z490 Gaming Carbon WiFi, Nvidia GeForce RTX 2080 Super, G.Skill TridentZ RGB 4x16 DDR4-4000, Samsung 970 Evo 1TB, Corsair RM850x, Cooler Master MasterLiquid ML240R RGB
He is turning one tomorrow.
A Father's Intelligence
A boy walks up to his father and asks, "Daddy, where did I get my intelligence from?"
After a minute the dad replies, "Must be from your mother because I still have mine"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My vacuum cleaner died the other day…
so I put an Intel sticker on it and it started to s**... again.
