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Insult Jokes

165 insult jokes and hilarious insult puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about insult that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a way to get a few laughs? Check out these hilarious insult jokes! From mean jokes for your brother and sisters, to disrespectful and dishonorable jokes, you'll find something sure to make your friends and family chuckle. Don't forget to read the jokes out loud for a better chance at getting a laugh!

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Funniest Insult Short Jokes

Short insult jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The insult humour may include short assault jokes also.

  1. Someone got 25 years in prison for saying Putin was an idiot 5 years for insulting the leader and 20 years for revealing state secrets.
  2. Clever Insult joke If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ level.
  3. My friend and I had arranged a meeting to insult each other but he didn't show up It was a diss appointment
  4. The best insult ever is, "who is this clown?", because... #1- You are calling them a clown
    #2- You are saying they are not even a well known clown
  5. Complementing a mustache should be a good thing I don't know why she took it as an insult.
  6. My friend got offended when I insulted his broken lamp... Then again dark humour isn't his thing
  7. Yo' Mama is so poor, when she picks a booger, she yells, "Clap your hands and stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got meat!"
  8. You know, those people who insult Obama and the Clintons.. really need to stop beating around the Bush.
  9. Bernie Sanders isn't a Messiah. He's just a Jewish guy sacrificing himself to save millions from their own sin and ignorance while being insulted the entire time. Clearly no basis for a religion.
  10. My wife is always insulting me about my lack of direction… So I packed up my belongings and right.

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Insult One Liners

Which insult one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with insult? I can suggest the ones about hurt and injury.

  1. Why is Jesus easy to insult? It takes him 3 days to comeback.
  2. Yo mama's so fat the only alphabet she knows is her KFCs.
  3. What do you call an insult from an Indian man in a Turban? A Sikh Burn!
  4. A tree house is the biggest insult to a tree "Here, I killed your friend. Hold him"
  5. Yo mama so fat that she could use a bra as a parachute
  6. What do you call playful insults between terrorists? Talibanter
  7. Never insult an Italian baker. He'll beat the focaccia.
  8. A tree house is the greatest insult to a tree "Here, I killed your friend, now hold him"
  9. Fat people with lisps... are thick and tired of your insults.
  10. I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
  11. What is slowly making a comeback? The autistic child i just insulted.
  12. Insulting Bakers is Good Fun You can really get a rise out of them.
  13. When somebody calls you gay, say, "I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on."
  14. The wind whispered insults in my ear today It was really diss gusting
  15. I once insulted an artist about his bad painting He just brushed it off.

Insult Mean Jokes

Here is a list of funny insult mean jokes and even better insult mean puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The difference between men and women is that men insult each other but don't really mean it and women compliment each other but don't really mean it.
  • The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
  • I bet I could insult your mom using math... Actually never mind its way too mean.
  • Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?"
    Mom: "Because he never lies."
    Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
  • My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.
  • Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!
  • The best thing about women is how they can tell you what you really mean when you say something...
  • Your momma is so mean... she has no standard deviation.
  • No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?
  • Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one.

Wife Insult Jokes

Here is a list of funny wife insult jokes and even better wife insult puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When a guy asks you to bang his wife it's hard to tell if it's a compliment or an insult
  • Wife: "Honey? What do you think about my teeth?"
    Husband: "They remind me of stars... yellow and far apart."
  • What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds.
  • You're pathetic. Don't believe me? Ask your wife, she might tell you since she probably tells her friends what a dipsh*t you are.
  • What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day? Ughs and kisses!
  • A husband says to his wife, "You know, our son got his brain from me." The wife replies, "I think he did. I still got mine with me!"
  • Wife: "There is something wrong with you." Me: "What a thing to say just before our dog's first salsa lesson."
  • How do you make your wife do anything for you?
    Answer: Take away her Credit Card
  • My wife insulted me saying I s**... at finishing stories. That's when I hit her with the sickest burn / comeback of all time.
  • Where does a c**... meet his future wife? Family reunion.
Insult joke

Mean Insult Jokes

Here is a list of funny mean insult jokes and even better mean insult puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear, but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words.
  • o**... says to a bald guy "Your hair ran away to find someone with a brain."

Girls Insult Jokes

Here is a list of funny girls insult jokes and even better girls insult puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Its girls like u that cause global warming!
  • Girl: Why are you so ugly? Boy: I'm you from the future.
  • Heights Of Insult By A Grammar Freak Girl. Girl To Boy: "You Are As Useless As Ay In Okay"
  • Girl: "Girls are better than boys."
    Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?"
    Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."
  • Mike: "Hey Joe. My girl friend always gets offended whenever I tell her jokes about bald people."
    Joe: "Is your girl friend bald?"
    Mike: "No. She"s a blonde."
  • How do you know if you're an ugly girl? If you know what the drinks cost at a bar.
  • Boy, I must be really good looking... I insult 1 girl and get messaged by 3 more!
  • Girl you remind me of a... (insert insult here)
Insult joke, Girl you remind me of a...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about insult can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of insult puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical Insult Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about insult you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean offensive jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make insult prank.

Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.

My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.

You have so many gaps in your teeth, it looks like your tongue is in jail.

Insult: Hey, you're not much of a looker, but I'll date you.
Response: Thanks. You must be very open-minded. Was that how your brain slipped out?

If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.

Hold still, I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Why don't aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.

You're lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar.

Everyone has a right to be ugly but you a**... the privilege.

Last time I had a kiss like that, I was trying to bring my goldfish back to life.

When God was throwing intelligence down to the Earth, you were holding an umbrella.

How can I keep a major nerd in suspense for 24 hours? I'll tell you tomorrow.

You're not acting like yourself today, I noticed the improvement right away.

They said you were a great asset. I told them they were off by two letters.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

Don't let your mind wander; it's too little to be let out alone.

Yo Mamas so s**... she was yelling into the mailbox.
We ask her whats she doing and she said, she was sending a voice-mail.

Yo mamma so fat not even dora can explore her.

Yo mama so ugly that slender man didn't even want follow her.

Yo Momma's a bowling ball.
She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter.
Then she comes rolling back for more.

Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said: '' holy f*c**... we can't fix that.''

Yo momma so dumb she threw a ball at the ground and missed.

Yo mama so short when she smokes w**..., she cant even get high.

Yo mama so poor, when I ring the door bell, she yells: DING d**...!

Yo mama so slow that when she tried to cross the road she got a parking ticket.

Yo momma so s**... she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo' Mama is so poor, her tv only has two channels: on and not working.

Yo' Mama is so poor, her face is on the food stamp.

Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year?
A: They couldn't find the three wise men!

Yo mama so ugly it caused Godzilla to go back to the ocean.

Yo mama is so poor that she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box.

Yo mama so ugly Lady Liberty blew her torch out so she wouldn't have to see her.

Are you always this s**... or is today a special occasion?

What would you call a woman who goes out with You? Desperate!

What language are you speaking? Cause it sounds like b**....

If you don't like my opinion of you – improve yourself!

You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.

Hey, you have something on your chin... no, the 3rd one down.

You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be s**... anyway.

Women think about s**... every 7 seconds. Just not with you.

Try to use this vacuum, it may help you remove the cobwebs in your mind.

What does a c**... and a husband have in common? They both got used and thrown out.

You are so ugly if they laid you on the beach, not even the tide would take you.

Today my friend met Chewbacca...

...she said he was "A big s**... fur ball." So he picked her up ripped of her arms and threw her out of a window. I mean everyone knows not to insult Chewbacca like that.
She made a Wookie Mistake.

Joke directed insult

A woman walks into the doctors office. She says she wants a child, but doesnt want to have s**.... The doctor says ok and asks what kind of child she wants. The woman said she wanted a smart and handsome kid. The doctor then hands her a blue pill.
A few months later, the woman comes back and says she has had a miscarriage but still wants a child. The doctor says ok and asks what kind of kid she wants. The woman said she will have a regular kid this time. The doctor then hands her a red pill.
Even more months later, the woman returns and says shes had a miscarriage but still wants a kid. The doctor says ok and asks what kind of kid she will want. She says since the other ones did not work out she will have a ugly, s**... kid. The doctor says ok and hands her a pill.
*At this point the joke teller asks the victim what color they think the pill is.
*The response will most likely be "I don't know, what?"
*The joke teller then says "I don't know, try asking your mother."
Immaturity at its best.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes...

That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away and you'll have his shoes.

Not to insult any history purists but...

Why did Winston Churchill trade his manual for an automatic?
He hated stall'in.

Indian Yo Mama Joke

I would insult your mother, but cows are sacred in my country.

Why shouldn't you ask if someone's a Texan?

Because if they are they'll tell you, and if they aren't you don't want to insult them.

What's the best insult you can say to someone?

"You are very disagreeable."

Meanwhile, in England.

Two guys are sitting at a bar. One starts to insult the other. He screams, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!". The bar gets quiet as everyone waits to see what the other will do. The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!!!".
The other looks at him and says, "Go home dad, you're drunk."

How to be insulting

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

I insulted a communist.

I told him he was dressed "classy"

Before you insult somebody, walk a mile in their shoes

Then, when you insult them you'll be a mile away and they'll have no shoes.

You can't insult Ellen Pao's integrity

She doesn't have any to insult

Wondering why "c**..." has become the new insult of choice among basement dwellers and neck beards?

They finally found an insult that can never be used against them.

Why can't you insult Jewish people?

Because they've already been roasted.

Why are there insulting names for liberals like libtard but none for Republicans?

Because calling someone a Republican is insulting enough

Have You Ever Been Insulted And Complimented At The Same Time?

It's amazing how a person can compliment and insult you at the same time. Recently, when I greeted my coworker, she said, You look so gorgeous, I didn't recognize you.

office joke

It's amazing how a person can compliment and insult you at the same time. Recently, when I greeted my coworker, she said, You look so gorgeous, I didn't recognize you.

The other day some guy came up to me, called me a Blockhead and then proceeded to hit me with his rhythm stick...

I though "That just adds insult to Ian Dury."

Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum?

He was just minding his Ps and Qs.

How do you insult a Catholic?

Any way you like, they have to forgive you!

Why did Jesus stop playing Hockey?

Because he got nailed into the boards
(It's a joke not to insult anyone)

Q: A word that defines "a quick, clever reply to an insult or criticism."

Sorry, this was "a riposte".

I told my girlfriend that she was rubbish in the c**... position.

"If you're going to insult me, I'll just pack my bags and leave. How does that sound to you?" she yelled.
"Honey," I said. "You can run, but you can't ride."

Racist jokes are like kids with cancer...

... They dont get Old.
(This is not intended to insult anyone)

I saw a sign...

It said "Slow." I thought "What did you just call me!?" Then I saw a Stop sign and thought "If you think you can tell me what to do right after an insult, you have grossly overestimated your power!"
Then I got T-b**... by a Cop car.

Why should you always walk a mile in someone's shoes before insulting them?

Because then when you insult them you'll be a mile away,
and you'll have their shoes.

Insulted on the Bus

A woman gets on the bus, and as she is paying for her ticket, the bus driver tells her, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Maddened, she walks away. She tells the man that she sits down next to, "Wow, I was just insulted by the bus driver!" The man said, "You shouldn't have to deal with that! Go give him a piece of your mind. I'll hold your monkey."

Insult joke, Insulted on the Bus

jokes about insult

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these insult jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.