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Instructed Jokes

41 instructed jokes and hilarious instructed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about instructed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Instructed Short Jokes

Short instructed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The instructed humour may include short instructs jokes also.

  1. The people who write instructions for places like IKEA must be in good shape. All that manual labor
  2. I found out what that math teacher with graph paper from yesterday's joke was plotting.... ...weapons of math instruction.
  3. A programmer got stuck in the shower because... The instructions on the shampoo bottle said-
    "Lather, Rinse, Repeat."
  4. Never literally taking cooking instructions… It said chill in the fridge for an hour
    I nearly died
  5. A lot of baking instructions say 425°F But I always do 420° just to make it a little cooler.
  6. Instructions for falling down stairs... Step 1
    Step 2
    Step 4

    Step 8
  7. 10% of european babies are conceived on an IKEA bed. So, be sure to follow the instructions.
    Put Peg A into Slot B, and then screw until the nuts tighten.
  8. TIL: The vasectomy procedure was pioneered by the Greek physician, Euclipides. His original instructions were as follows: "Euclipides nuts."
  9. I built a staircase using an online tutorial! When I finished I thought something looked wrong so I went back to look at the instructions. I missed a step.
  10. My husband doesn't believe me that the Bible instructs him to make the coffee in the morning. It's there, clear as day. Hebrews.

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Instructed One Liners

Which instructed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with instructed? I can suggest the ones about taught and advised.

  1. Instructions how to fall down stairs: Step 1
    Step 2
    Step 4
    Step 14
  2. To who ever put the "L" in noel Is it that hard to follow simple instructions?
  3. Instructions for falling down the stairs: Step 1, step 6, step 7, step 8, step 12.
  4. I just found a monopoly set without instructions. What are the chances?
  5. What instructions are not needed on Parkinson's Medicine? Shake well before use.
  6. If I had to describe myself in one word... It would be, "Unable to follow instructions."
  7. "Describe yourself in three words" "Incapable of following basic instructions and cool"
  8. I read the instruction manual for my new watch It was about time
  9. Someone asked me to describe myself in 3 words Not good at following instructions.
  10. Did you know that stairs come with their own instructions? They're step-by-step.
  11. I bought ladders from IKEA today. They came with step by step instructions.
  12. Forgot to read the instructions on my new eyeliner Guess I'll have to make it up
  13. How do I turn my new girlfriend on? She's a robot and the instructions are in Chinese.
  14. Which board game instruction manual is the Torah? Jumanji
  15. Why did the rhino break his phone? The instructions told him to charge it!

Instructed joke, Why did the rhino break his phone?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about instructed can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of instructed puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Gather Around for Fun Instructed Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about instructed you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean informed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make instructed prank.

When interacting with police follow their instructions carefully

Me: [hears knock on door] "Who is it?"
Trooper: "State Police identify yourself."
Me: "Police identify yourself"
Trooper: "State Police"
Me: "Police"

I bought myself a new deodorant stick this morning.

The instructions say " remove cap and push up bottom ".
I can't walk very well at the moment, but every time I f**..., the room smells incredible.

I purchased a deodorant stick today

Instructions say, Remove cap and push up bottom
I can hardly walk but the room smells lovely when I f**....

The blacksmith hires an apprentice

He instructed the boy, When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.
The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he's the new village blacksmith

Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un are discussing their countries, and decide to have a contest to see whose soldiers are more obedient.

They are in a hotel at the top of a mountain near a cliff.
Vladimir Putin instructs a soldier to run and jump off the cliff. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!" Putin lets him go.
Kim Jong Un instructs a soldier to jump. The soldier runs to jump off the cliff. Putin grabs him before he can, telling him not to jump. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!"

Went and got my first gun yesterday

Went and got a 9mm p**... I go to pay for the gun and the cashier says s**... down facing me
Realizing this is probably because of gun wackos I did as she instructed
When the shrieking from customers and alarms stopped I realized the cashier was referring to how I should swipe my credit card

Winston Churchill was dining in fine company, and when asked what piece of chicken he wanted, he requested a breast. A lady upbraided him, saying, "Mr. Churchill, in polite society we ask for white meat or dark."

The next day Churchill sent her a corsage, instructing the lady to affix it to her "white meat."

Guy goes to the doctor

A guy goes to the doctor because his knee is swollen and very painful. After a brief chat, the doctor instructs the man to drop his pants so he can examine the knee.
The doctor examines the guy's knee for a moment, looking at it from all angles. He finally looks up at the guy and says, "Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you're going to have to stop m**...."
"What? Why?" asks the guy.
"Because I'm trying to examine your knee."

I got a new stick of deodorant today.

The instructions said 'remove cap and push up bottom'
I can barely walk, but when I f**... the room smells wonderful

A pig goes to the doctors with swine flu.

The doctor gives him a leaflet for a therapeutic spa and tells him to go straight there.
When he gets there he's instructed to lay in a shallow bath of salt and sugar.
He chuckles to himself and thinks, "what's this supposed to do, cure me!"

A man that can't talk goes to the doctor

A man walks into his doctor's office and puts a note on the table for the doctor to read. It said, "I can't talk! Help me!"
The doctor nodded sagely and instructed the man to put his thumb on the table. The man thinks to himself that his thumb has nothing to do with his inability to talk, but he does as the doctor ordered.
The doctor quickly picked up a big book and whacks the man's thumb with it as hard as he could.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" the man yelled.
"Good, good," the doctor said. "Come back tomorrow and we'll work on the 'B'."

An emaciated man was found dead in his bathtub.

The apparent cause of death was starvation. Oddly, he still had enough food in his fridge, and no apparent mobility problems that would prevent him from getting to it. His relatives did not know of any mental problems either.
The best investigator in the city was called to the scene. She takes one look at the bathroom and asks the relatives,
"Was he a programmer?"
"Yes, why?"
She wordlessly shows them a large shampoo bottle with an instruction: "1. Apply the shampoo. 2. Rinse. 3. Repeat the procedure."

I tried an At Home Covid Test

Instructions:
1. Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2. If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3. If you can smell it and taste it, this confirms that you don't have the Covid.
Last night, I did the test 19 times and all were negative. Tonight, I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and I feel like I'm coming down with something.

t**...

At New York's Kennedy Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square and a calculator. Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Instructed joke, t**...

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these instructed jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.