Instruct Jokes

What are some Instruct jokes?

Instructions how to fall down stairs:

Step 1

Step 2

Step 4

Step 14

My instructor asked me, "Can you read that car's license plate from here?"

I answered, "YES!! NOW COULD YOU **PLEASE** OPEN THE PARACHUTE NOW!!!???"

My instructor just told me that I'm not cut out to be a mime

It must have been something I said

Instructions for falling down stairs...

Step 1

Step 2

Step 4


Step 8

Instructions for falling down the stairs:

Step 1, step 6, step 7, step 8, step 12.

What instructions are not needed on Parkinson's Medicine?

Shake well before use.

At my high school graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch...

So I told a bunch of my friends "I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation."
Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them "Here's the punch line."


This is a completely true story, so I do not regret it.

An instructor was teaching a young man how to swordfight.

The young man wasn't terribly good, but he had a rather high opinion of his abilities. In a practice duel with the instructor, he was continually waving his sword about arrogantly, in wide strokes, and often leaving himself wide open to attack.

The instructor thought "he won't last five minutes with that attitude, so I need to scare it out of him. But I don't want to hurt the poor kid too badly."

The instructor feinted.

Instructions for cleaning the toilet

**Instructions for cleaning the toilet:**

1. Lift the lid on the toilet and fill it with 1/8 cup of animal shampoo.

2. Take the cat in your arms and stroke it gently while slowly moving in the direction of the toilet.

3. At a suitable moment, throw the cat into the toilet bowl and close the lid quickly and either stand or sit on the lid.

4. The cat will now start the cleaning process and will produce generate plenty of foam. Do not be concerned about the loud noises coming from the toilet; your cat is enjoying herself.

5. After several minutes flush the toilet to start the Power-wash pre-wash and then flush again for the main wash cycle.

6. Ask someone to open the front door and ensure that no-one is between the toilet and the front door.

7. Get off the toilet seat and from a safe distance open the toilet lid quickly. The cat will dry off naturally due to the high speed she will be moving from the toilet to the front door.

8. The toilet and the cat are now both clean.

Instruction

The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. The blacksmith immediately began his instructions to the lad: When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil, and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.

The apprentice did just as he was told. Now he's the village blacksmith.

Instructions how to make money with your Facebook account:

1. Open settings

2. Delete your account

3. Start working

The instructor told me to just leave the yoga class if i wasn't going to take it seriously

I looked her in the eye and said "nah, imma stay"

The instructions said if my erection lasts longer than four hours to see a doctor...

My calculus professor was no help at all.

I was instructed to relocate all these boxes of letterhead. But I can't...

They're stationary.

Why wasn't I able to see the instruction manual?

Because the instructions were clear.

What's the first instruction in every Mexican recipe?

1. Steal a chicken

2...

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