Institution Jokes

This tongue-in-cheek article gives instructions on how to devise jokes about institutions of all types, from mental health facilities to financial banks to universities and more. Read about the best of these laughable jokes and how to make your own.

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jokes about institution

Best Short Institution Jokes

These are our top institution puns. Have fun with a good institution joke in English with simple institution humour.

  1. A muenster attacked Emmenthal institution. Everyone cheddared with panic. There was de brie everywhere. It was no Gouda.
  2. I only go after women who are locked-up in Mental Institutions. I'm looking for a committed relationship.
  3. Heard at Mass today that the government is providing scholarships to students who'd like to attend religious institutions... Someone Alert the Masses!
  4. The U.S. instituted a new law after a man dressed as Santa committed a felony. It was called the Santa Clause.
  5. Bigfoot walks into a bar.. The bartender is no longer able to discern reality and spends the rest of his life in a mental institution.
  6. There is a university in Germany that continually searches for the biggest piece of wood Its the Max Plank institute
  7. I'm going to create a political institution based on eliminating vaccines. I'll call it... The Donner Party
  8. These blind guys at the institution think i am dyslexic. I mean i spent a month learning sign language to talk to them.
  9. Why was a social justice warrior being held in solitude confinement in a mental institute? She attacked the guards when they tried to force her into a straight white male jacket.
  10. Marriage is an important institution. And like any institution, you should be committed before you enter into it.
Institution joke, Marriage is an important institution.

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these institution jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of institution puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Institution One Liners

Which institution dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with institution?

  1. According to the institute for incomplete studies 9 out of 10 Americans.
  2. The Institute of Incomplete Studies (ISS) determined that 7 out of 10 people
  3. What do you call walking trails behind mental institutions? Psychopaths
  4. The Institute of Unfinished Research has concluded that 6 out of 10 people
  5. The Ohio and Michigan Institute of Lions and Tigers and Bears. OH,MI.
  6. What do you call a blonde at an institution of higher learning? A visitor
  7. The Incomplete Surveys Institute concluded that 78% of every women
  8. Where do people send crazy cigarettes? To the menthol institution
  9. Here at the Klingon Hairdressing Institute It is a good day to dye.
  10. [OC] I'm starting a Deist church. It's a non-prophet institution.
  11. I spent most of my adult life in an institution. In the end a lawyer got me a divorce.
  12. What's the only acceptable filetype at The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning? .docx
  13. Marriage is an incredible institution. But who wants to live in an institution?
  14. According to the Institution of Incomplete Information... 9 out of every 10...
  15. I spent 8 years in an institution. Then I got a divorce.

Mental Institution Jokes

Here is a list of funny mental institution jokes and even better mental institution puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the duck say when he was admitted to the mental institution? "I think I've finally reached my quacking point."
  • Once, a guy went to a psychiatrist and said "My brother thinks he's a chicken" And the psychiatrist said " Well, why don't you put him in a mental institution?"
    And the guy replied "We need the egg"
  • How did the clown break into the mental institution? No, seriously, *how*?! It's been following me ever since I got here!
  • What do you call a sidewalk at a mental institution? Psycho-paths
  • I used to work in a mental institution, but I kept getting blood all over my hands. *menstrual
  • Did you hear about the doctor who sent a group of crows to a mental health institution? He committed a m**....

Financial Institution Jokes

Here is a list of funny financial institution jokes and even better financial institution puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How can you spot a guy who works in finance? He is usually wearing a suit and walking into or near a financial institution.
  • What is the only financial institution an Occupier supports? A food bank.
Institution joke, What is the only financial institution an Occupier supports?

Ridiculous Institution Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about institution to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make institution prank.

What do you call a teacher that doesn't f**... in public?

A private tutor (tooter)
Heard it from a guy on the street selling newspapers in front of the art institute in chicago.

Mental institution

There's a mental institution, and they are having a
patient evaluation, to see if any patients need to be there
any longer. The doctor then goes around questioning the top three candidates.
He goes to the first patient and asks him , "What is 3 times 3?"
After an hour of scratching his head, and with a confused look on his face he replies, "Two-hundred!".
"That is incorrect." The doctor responds.
He then asks the next patient."What is 3 multiplied by 3?" After a long period of time the patient
responds, "Thursday!". "That is incorrect replies the doctor.

He then goes to the next patient and asks him, "What is 3 times 3?"
The patient quickly responds, "Nine!". The doctor then says "Correct!,
how did you figure that out?" The patient then responds, "I multiplied, 200 by Thursday and then
I added three!"

A man goes for a walk...

and as he walks he approaches the local mental institution, on the other side of the wall he can hear the patients chanting "3! 3! 3! 3!". His curiosity has been piqued by all the commotion coming from within so he decides to take a glimpse through a hole he sees in the wall, as he bends down and peers through the wall silence falls over the yard and a long stick gets shoved through the hole and pokes him in the eye
"4! 4! 4! 4! 4!"

The Answering Machine

Hi, this is Eric.
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are a telemarketer, I have no money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

So a son comes home to find his father watching television...

- Son: ''Hey dad, some chick just told me I looked hot!''
- Dad: ''Oh yeah? And what psychiatric institution was she from?''
- Son: ''Same one as mom, I guess!''

I escaped!

A man phones up a mental institution and asks the woman behind the desk to speak to the man in room twenty-seven.
When she tells him that the man isn't there he shouts excitedly *"Good! That means I escaped!"*

That's right

Half dressed r**... couple were sitting on couch watching news on TV, with the man's arm around the woman. The man says "Look at them homosexuals ruinin' the sanctity of our institution. We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man and one woman. Ain't that right, sweetheart?" The woman replies, "That's right, Daddy."

What do you call a sudden f**...?

An institute.

I was walking by a mental institution on my way to work

And in the yard behind the fence, I heard people shouting "four, four, four...". I was curious so I peeked through the wood planks to see what was happening. Someone jabbed a stick in my eye and then everyone started shouting "five, five, five...".

Doctor, my son thinks he's a chicken.

A man visits a psychiatrist, saying, Doctor, my son thinks he's a chicken. The psychiatrist suggests that the boy be sent to an institution. We'd like to do that, says the man, but we need the eggs.

I was recently at a mental institution and asked the director how he knew when someone needed to be admitted...

He said: "We fill up a bath tub with water and offer the person a teaspoon, a tea cup, and a bucket to empty the tub."
I said: "Oh, a normal person would chose the bucket cause it's bigger!"
He replied: "No, a normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed by the window or the door?"

A drunk n**... woman boards a cab

Driver of the cab keeps staring at her and does not start the cab.
Woman: Haven't you ever seen a n**... woman before?
Cab Driver: Cool down, Ma'am. I am not staring at you. I am just wondering as to where you have kept the money to pay me?
This is what most financial institutions fail to do - Assessing repayment capacity before enjoying exposure.

How I learned to mind my own business???

One day I was walking near a mental institution. Everyone in the courtyard was yelling: 13 13 13 !!!
The fence was to high to see anything, but I found a hole so I got close to peak through it.. A crazy guy poked me in the eye and everyone started yelling: 14 14 14!!!

An inspector goes to a mental institution to check if any of the patients had been cured

When he gets there he places an empty pool on the ground. All the patients start squealing with joy, and jumping in the pool, hurting themselves. Only one patient stands to the side and doesn't jump. The inspector goes to ask him why he isn't jumping. The patient says: do you think I'm crazy? I can't swim

3 people try to escape a mental institution

They decide to kill the three guards and leave. One guard is in the room with them, another in the hallway, and another guarding the gate. They kill the one in the room, kill the one in the hallway, and then make their way down to the main gate. When they arrive at the main gate, they find out the guard has the day off. They walk back in, saying "our plan failed."

A guy is waiting for the bus in front of a mental institution

There is a tall wooden fence surrounding it. The man starts hearing a group of people on the other side of the fence yelling "14, 14, 14!" So he walks over and finds a small hole. When he ducks down to peek through, all of a sudden he gets poked in the eye.

The people on the other side of the fence start yelling "15, 15, 15!"

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental institution, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

Elon Musk wants to start a university called the 'Texas Institute of Technology & Science and an affiliate called Austin School of Science

To be known as t**... and a**...

Walking past a mental institution

I heard the residents chanting twelve, twelve twelve . As I kept walking I noticed a small hole in the tall wooden fence. Since the residents were still chanting twelve, twelve, twelve I decided to peek through the hole and see what was happening. As soon as I looked, a stick came through the hole and poked me in the eye. Immediately there was a roar of cheering before the residents started chanting thirteen, thirteen, thirteen .

Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health

If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.
If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you do in life, and what you want from us. Please stay on the phone while we trace your call.
If you suffer from hallucinations, press the 7 on the big pink telephone that you, and only you, see at your immediate right.
If you are suffer from chizophrenia, please kindly ask your imaginary friend to press the 8 key for you.
If you suffer from depression, it doesn't matter which key you press, as there is nothing to do: yours is a basket case, and there is no cure.
If you suffer from amnesia, press keys in rapid sequence 2, 7, 5, 3, 9 5, 7, 5, 1, 6, 4, 9 and repeat out loud, in the following order, your name, surname, home address, mobile number, e-mail, social security number, bank account number, ATM pin code, date of birth, marital status, place of birth and your grandmother's maiden name.
If you suffer from indecision, leave your message before, after, or during the beep.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from obsessive avarice we have to inform you that this call costs 500 euros per minute.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, keep waiting: all our operators are busy responding to people who are much more important than you.
If you are one of the Italians that voted for Berlusconi, please hang up. We cure the crazy, not the jerks.

Institution joke, Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these institution jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.