Inspired Jokes
86 inspired jokes and hilarious inspired puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about inspired that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh your way through the season with these creative and abstract Halloween and fall-inspired jokes! Get motivated and eventually use these to bring a light-hearted atmosphere and some fun to any situation.
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Funniest Inspired Short Jokes
Short inspired jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The inspired humour may include short inspiring jokes also.
- Why do chinese people love IPhones and Apple products? Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.
(inspired by u/lorenzomofo 's comment on a
r/nextfuckinglevel post) - My grandad is a real inspiration to get healthy, he starting running a mile a day when he was 65.... Now he is 70, we have no idea where he is
- How many cancer patients does it take to change a light bulb? 1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was
- The only similarity between Bernie Sanders's speeches and Hillary's speeches is ......both inspire you to vote against Hillary.
- Fun Fact: The Mortal Kombat theme was actually inspired by an old european song of praise. It was a Finnish hymn.
- Albert Einstein owed the inspiration for one of his best ideas to his cousin who had Down Syndrome... he had a special relative, you see?
- "They say that if you do what you love, it's never a job." "How inspirational. Unfortunately your unemployment claim has been denied."
- I started dating a guy, but then I found out he lost all of his toes in a freak work accident Unfortunately, I'm lack toes intolerant.
(This joke inspired by an 8 year old) - When I'm feeling shy, I like to think about my pet rock... It always inspires me to be a little boulder.
- Do you know what I hate? Inspirational quotes Because no matter what you read, only you can be the driving force behind your success.
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Inspired One Liners
Which inspired one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with inspired? I can suggest the ones about impressed and instigated.
- What STD do sailors get the most? Merm-aids
(Inspired by a Family Guy joke) - Last week I had to put down my dog. It was sad. I said, you are one dumb dog.
- Tall people don't need to be inspirational Everyone already looks up to them.
- What's the product name if Apple started making drones? iSoar
(inspired by ImpulseSV) - Amy Winehouse has become a real inspiration for me She's going on 6 years sober now.
- How does Lil Wayne get inspiration for his new music? He listens to his old music.
- Inspirational quote of the day: You can't spell "success" without "succ".
- What medication that can make people inspire you? Aspirin
sorry guys - Still-life art is not inspirational. I mean, it's not moving at all.
- I asked my yoga teacher what my purpose in life is she said " To inspire and then expire"
- I find mute vocalists to be the most inspirational people They truly are unsung heroes
- Professor: What inspired you to write this essay? .... the due date
- I just witnessed record breaking sprinter collapse out of breath... He was inspiring
- We'll, We'll, We'll Rock you.
- Most Contradictory Inspirational Quote Ever? "Follow Your Dreams."
-Freddy Kreuger, 2016
Halloween Inspired Jokes
Here is a list of funny halloween inspired jokes and even better halloween inspired puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My friend asked me for some inspiration for a Halloween costume. Apparently "The Emperor's New Clothes" was a bad idea.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Inspired Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about inspired you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean driven jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make inspired pranks.
My Gramps just passed away. This was his favorite joke to tell.
*Sorry for the meta of this, I'm still reeling a little. I post two or three (or ten--sorry for breaking rules) jokes on this sub every day. A lot of them are simply awful, but they're all original, and my Gramps was a huge inspiration for me becoming a comedy "writer." But this is an old joke, and he loved to tell it every time I saw him. He knew quite a few others too, but this was always my favorite.*
A man is out on a golf course, when he hears someone shout "FORE!"
He looks this way and that but doesn't see the ball, until *WHACK!* He shouts and curses and moans, holding both hands over his c**....
"Oh, you poor thing!" a woman cries, running over to assist him. She gets on her knees and starts to rub his groin with her hands. "Is that better?"
He shakes his head, so she pulls his pants down and starts rubbing it in earnest. After a few minutes, she smiles and says, "That seemed to help a lot!"
"Oh, it was wonderful!" he says. "But the ball hit my thumb!"
*
inspired by frontpage's TIL about the guy fawkes mask: how many occupy protesters does it take to change a lightbulb?
none, occupy protesters can't change anything.
The guys go to the f**... of their life-long pal...
After a long eulogy and some beautiful music, the guys are overcome with emotion. The first guy walks up to the casket of his buddy.
"I know it's just a small token, but for everything you've ever done for me, buddy, all the times you helped me out. This is the least I could do."
He tucks a $50 bill into his buddy's tuxedo pocket, and he staggers away sobbing.
The second man, inspired by the gesture, walks up and places his own $50 bill in his buddy's pocket. "For all the beers you bought me, that I never had a chance to pay you back for." And he staggers away sobbing.
The third man, a lawyer, not to be out-done, says, "I know it's just a small gesture, but for all the times you've been there for me when I needed you, here's a token of my gratitude."
And he writes a check for $150, and takes the two fifties in change.
A Target inspired joke
I got fired from Target but it was worth it. My coworker Alfred was stocking shelves and I was at front. A large lady came in and inquired about the mobility scooter. Hmmm I thought. A mobility scooter for fat people.
I got on the intercom and announced "Alfred, please bring around the Fatmobile."
Irish sectarianism joke
An American is visiting Ireland, and walking back to his hotel from the local pub. Suddenly he hears a voice behind him, demanding, "Are you a protestant or a catholic??". The American is well aware of the sectarian issues in Ireland and is understandably afraid to admit to either affiliation. In a flash of inspiration he responds, "neither, in Jewish!". And the voice comes back, "I must be the luckiest Palestinian in all of Ireland!"
Did you know the world's first s**... was Mexican? He even inspired the s**... motto.
Juan shot, Juan kill.
So there's this lemon...
And he's running down the street.
He trips and falls on the sidewalk, leaving him with a n**... gash on his arm.
Luckily, another lemon walks by and patches him up with a Lemonaid kit.
(It's really bad, but the joke inspired my username. Just had to share.)
There was a man who loved puns.
There once was a man who loved puns. They were his favorite kind of humor, and he would often spend time trying to come up with new ones. One morning he was feeling particularly inspired and thought up ten brand new puns. And so he went about his day with the intention of using his new puns to get a laugh from his friends, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Faith
God and Jesus are planning the inspiration for the Bible. Jesus asks God, "Dad, shouldn't we say something about not taking these stories literally?" God replies, "Don't worry Jesus, these people aren't that dumb... Have a little faith!"
A priest and a shepherd...
... from Australia participate in a gameshow on TV. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It's a city in Africa.
The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:
"I was a father all my life,
I had no children, had no wife,
I read the bible through and through
on my way to Timbuktu ... "
The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his poem:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went
We met three ladies cheap to rent.
But they were three and we were two,
So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "
Donald Trump is an inspiration to all new College graduates.
He is in the final interview rounds of a job he has zero experience for.
The mass m**... has an inspirational poster on his wall.
"Can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter'"
Mozart took a young wife, as was common in the day.
After a very brief first night together, he felt inspired to write a song.
He called it Minute in A Minor.
How do you host an amnesia support group on a budget?
The moment they show up, tell them the meeting went great and their speech was inspiring.
I went to a High School pep rally....
The principal had announced earlier that day that he would make an inspirational speech for us. At the rally, he walked up to the microphone for his speech. But, all he did was look at the crowd, smiled, and stepped down.
We were left speechless.
What did the Pirate say to the plank as it was being installed on the ship?
Welcome a Board!
(Inspired by a comment I left on another post, though I'm confident it's been posted many times before)
What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?
Exspearamint.
inspired by the presidential gum joke.
Millions of children are being inspired by seeing their first presidential election.
If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground.
Did you know that Lil Wayne's parents were murdered right in front of him?
It was what inspired him to become the Batman.
In an effort to inspire his young son who did not want to go to school, his father told him :
"When Abraham Lincoln was your age he used to walk miles for the privilege of going to school."
The young boy thought for a moment and responded,
"Yes, but when he was your age he was President of the United States."
My grandma once told me an inspiring quote about the ocean
I can't remember exactly how it went. I just remember it being very deep
That priest from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was actually a really inspirational guy.
He touched so many hearts.
Blind Golfers
One day out on a golf course, a team of policemen, firemen, and engineers were getting ready to tee off, when another team of all blind golfers, who never shot above par, asked if they could go first. The policemen said, "we're impressed that you can golf blind, sure go ahead." The firemen said, "your inspiration to keep doing what you enjoy even though you can't see. Sure, you can go." The engineers said, "can't you just golf at night?"
The artist Pitbull is my biggest inspiration.
never has someone made so much money with such little talent.
In memory of my father, who died of blood loss because sadly no one could figure out his blood type.
As I stood beside him it was incredibly moving to hear him repeat, over and over, these inspirational last words: "Be positive, son! Be positive!"
Father, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you do, just know I will always remember to be positive.
Autocorrect Inspired Poem
It means no worries
For the rest of your days
Haiku na Mattatta
This joke was inspired by a IRL event
I went to the kitchen, and I looked up through the skylight windows. I then noticed a plastic Rite Aid bag that was stuck in a tree.
My dad saw me looking up, and he asked me, "What are you looking at?"
I said to him, "There is a Rite Aid bag in the tree."
He asked me, "Do you know where that bag came from?"
I just looked at him and said, "I don't know."
He replied, "Rite Aid."
A man goes to a f**... ...
After the regular round of eulogies and speeches and well wishers, he leans over the pew and asks the widow:
"Mind if I say a word?"
No, of course not , she says. "Please do."
The man stands up, clears his t**... and says:
"Abacus"
Then promptly sits down.
The widow leans back and says: "Thanks, it's the little things that count .
To show off how wealthy he was, I saw a guy inhale a line of 24K gold dust
It was really Au inspiring.
Why is there no such thing as a punapple?
Because the best puns come in pears.
(Original joke made up by me and my friend the other day as we were high and ate pineapple... the asparagus guy inspired me to share)
Why did Einstein married his cousin?
Because it was all relative!
PS: Inspired from a comment on TIL about Emma Noether!
I found the real life inspiration for the island from Fortnite!
The v**... Islands
Unexpected morning s**...:
I stumbled into the kitchen to see my wife cooking our usual breakfast of soft-boiled eggs and toast.
Barely awake, I thought perhaps I was dreaming when she suddenly took off her gown and demanded I make love with her there and then.
Soon finished, she turned back to the stove and said thanks . I said, My pleasure, dear, you seemed so inspired, thank you!
Dryly, she drawled, Don't get used to it, the egg timer's broken.
My best friend's marriage is such an inspiration.
A reminder that there are worse things in life than dying alone.
What do you call it when two redheads have a son?
A gingerbred man.
credit to: u/ryannut for inspiration.
What do you call it after cowboys eat beans at high noon?
A toot-out at the O.K. Corral.
(Don't be mean. Inspired by my 2 month old.)
I guess I'll take inspiration from the Iraqi joke and try to translate this Armenian joke. A kid is in PE class...
The teacher yells Lift up the right leg.
The children lift up their right legs.
The teacher yells Now lift the left leg.
The kid shouts What the h**...? Do you expect us to stand on our d**...?
What rests on the ground between my feet and is covered in ants?
My ice cream cone. =(
*Inspired by actual events.
How many journalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three:
One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the poor.
One to report it as a conspiracy to deprive the poor of darkness.
And one to win a Pulitzer Prize for reporting that the electric company hired someone to break the lightbulb in the first place.
But in the end none of them actually changed the bulb.
Walking past the Intensive Care Unit, I heard Kanye's latest album blaring over the intercom.
I guess its true, Covid does affect your taste.
(Inspired by: u/FluffyTid)
How do you know someone with excellent English isn't a native speaker?
They apologize for their bad English.
(Inspired by seeing an example on this sub.)
Inspired by the chicken jokes
Why did Adele cross the road?
To sing hello from the otherside
A pastor discovered his bicycle had been stolen
He decided to use it as inspiration for that week's sermon, and began writing on the Ten Commandments, especially thou shalt not steal
Then he got to thou shalt not commit adultery and remembered where he left his bike.
Thank you.
I read the post from u/AndiPandi92 about how she woke her dad up every morning with a joke from this subreddit. It is a beautiful post as are the comments. It inspired me to do the same for my dad. I already see him once a week - he has had seven strokes, can hardly talk but has an enormous brain capacity - very sharp and an easy laugh. I have told him jokes for two days and both times he laughed so tears fell down his cheeks (my mom told me afterwards) and he say thank you afterwards.
So thank you from me and my dad - you are all awesome ❤
A bullet is talking to a therapist
The therapist asks the bullet, "So when do you think everything started to go downhill?"
The bullet answers, "Well Doc, it all started back when I got fired. When the hammer finally came down, it hit me really hard. I lost it and blew off my top, and now I feel like a shell of my former self."
thank you to /u/TinyPlaidNinjas for the inspiration for this joke
It doesn't matter how fast I'm going. What matters is that I'm moving forward in the right direction.
police officer: That's very inspiring, but you're still getting a ticket.
Heinrich, Beethoven's manservant, one day said to him "Master, where do you get your inspiration from?"
"Why, from you of course, Heinrich!" Beethoven replied.
"From me?" retorted Heinrich. "A genius like you, inspired by a clod like me? Oh, that's funny...
"Hah-hah-hah-*haahh*! Hah-hah-hah-*haahh*!"
When the singer from DragonForce came down with a cold...
He was hit with inspiration for their new hit song.
Through the Fire and Phlegm
Inspired by Obama, Trump will soon be releasing his favorite books of 2022
along with the crayons that go with them.
Today I helped a little old lady with a walker across a busy street
And some of the other car drivers were so inspired they joined me in honking at her.
A Dr. Of marine biology was inspired to create a new beverage.
Dr. Marcus Opor, renowned marine biologist and ocean sustainability expert, experimented with a brewed beverage with skipjack tuna as its primary ingredient. He spent years alternating its composition, striving for a balance of savory and rich ocean flavors. At last, he perfected his "tea", and was ready to bring it to market.
Dr. Opor made a single sample of his piscine tea and brought it to Costco to perform a taste test. Sadly, nobody was interested in his tuna beverage and it was thrown out.
It was a wasted Opor tuna tea.
My new cat is obsessed with sitting on the calendar, so I took that as an inspiration for his name
I'm still doubting between Greg or Ian
