Inspector Jokes
53 inspector jokes and hilarious inspector puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about inspector that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out the best inspector jokes from Inspector Gadget to a construction inspector & more! Find out how these 'inspectors' use their special skills to bring the laughs. Laugh along at the most hilarious inspector jokes from health inspector to surveyor and more!
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Funniest Inspector Short Jokes
Short inspector jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The inspector humour may include short investigator jokes also.
- If a Ghost Rider should be called Daredevil, and Daredevil should be called Batman, what should Batman be called? Inspector Gadget
- Police announced tonight that they wish to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly underwear But the chief inspector said they must wear their normal uniforms.
- A building inspector for an old European town found that all buildings built between 1584 and 1750 had significant structural flaws. Otherwise, if it ain't Baroque, don't fix it.
- Inspector Javert gives up on catching Jean Valjean and opens a bakery. But old habits die hard. The bread is on special, two for $6.01
- A water inspector got a lethal lead poisoning... Before dying he said: "It tastes... Irony"
- What's the difference between a plastic surgeon and a school inspector? A plastic surgeon tucks features...
- "The search for the man who terrorises nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on.... Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow."
- Building Inspectors should be stricter in Pisa, Italy. Since they are a bit too *lean*ient.
- What did Inspector Newcomen say when Dr. Jekyll ran out of serum? You can run, but you can't Mr. Hyde.
- My dad called the inspector's office to ask when they'd be able to send someone out to look at the septic tank. They told him they were a little backed up at the moment
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Inspector One Liners
Which inspector one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with inspector? I can suggest the ones about detective and inspection.
- What do male prostitutes and Inspector Closeau have in common? They're both Peter Sellers
- Ticket Inspector: Sir, why do you have a child's ticket? Me: Because I'm a child of god.
- Why did the Naval Inspector fail the submarine? Because he found it to be SUB-standard.
- Inspector Gadget walks into a Bar... He orders a Drink and sits down on his couch.
- What do you call a Belgium detective that sets fire to things? Inspector Pyro
- What do you call a police officer who searches only women? Inspector.
- The attack of the claws. If only Inspector Gadget was here.
- What do inspectors in America eat Inspector meals
- What does FBI stand for? Female body inspector
- How is Daniel Craig a policeman? He is in Spectre (Inspector)
- An inspector arrives at m**... scene of an obese man by a cannibal It was a lot to digest
- So tell me Inspector Gadget, What's the first thing you do when you buy a s**... robot?
Health Inspector Jokes
Here is a list of funny health inspector jokes and even better health inspector puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A German health inspector walks into a bar while playing Pokemon GO He asks to see under the floorboards.
The bartender replies, "Why?"
The German health inspector replies, "Wynaut?"
Cheeky Inspector Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about inspector you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean supervisor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make inspector pranks.
My grandmother told me this one...
So it happens in a fancy restaurant.
One day, the hygiene commission arrives to see if the criterias are respected and the restaurant is clean and safe etc.
They observe that everytime someone orders a coffee with sugar, the waiters take one sugar cube with their fingers and put it next to the coffee, on the little plate. The inspector is disgusted by that behaviour and tells to the boss : "you must never touch the sugar with your hands ! What if an employee has been to the toilet and didn't wash their hands ? Use sugar tongs instead."
So the boss gathers his employees and tells them : "Here, take these. We've been told we had to use them, because sometimes you might go to the toilet without washing your hands, or whatever..." and he gives each waiter a pair of sugar tongs.
Moments later, the boss is wandering around when he sees one of the waiters preparing a coffee, and taking the sugar cube with his hands.
"What did I tell you earlier ?! Where are your tongs ?"
The waiter takes them from his pocket ; "here boss !"
"Why are you not using them ?"
"But, boss... I use them, like you told us ! Everytime I go to the toilet !"
The zoo inspector and the monkey
Once upon a time, an inspector planned to come to a zoo, as it wasn't doing well and didn't make profit. That became a problem to the managers who didn't want him to find out that they sold the monkey.
So they approached bill, a janitor and a faithful worker there and gave him a monkey suit and told him how to act like a monkey, and it will only last until the inspector leaves.
Came the inspector, the worker was in the cage and started acting like a monkey. The inspector wasn't pleased with the animal and thought that it was sick and old, so he told throw the monkey to the lion and get a new one, and the managers agreed.
Bill lied there still and overwhelmed with shock, because, after all these years working faithfully, they agreed to throw him just like that! He was paralyzed with shock when they threw him in the lion's cage. The lion came slowly and Bill was afraid and lost, when the lion whispered to him : "Don't worry, I'm Joe the cotton candy guy"
Missing wife
A husband went to the police station to file a "missing person" report for his missing wife:
Husband : -I lost my wife, she went shopping hasn't come back yet.
Inspector : -What is her height?
Husband : -Average, I guess.
Inspector : -Slim or healthy?.
Husband : -Not slim, but probably healthy.
Inspector : -Color of eyes?
Husband : -Never noticed.
Inspector : -Color of hair?
Husband : -Changes according to season.
Inspector : -What was she wearing?
Husband : -Not sure, either a dress or a suit.
Inspector : -Was she driving?
Husband : -Yes.
Inspector : -Color of the car?
Husband : -Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door... and then the husband started crying...
Inspector: -Don't worry sir,...We will find your car.
Two horrible knock knock jokes.
Knock knock.
> Who's there?
Door inspector.
> Door inspector who?
Knock knock.
-----
Knock knock.
> Who's there?
Doorbell inspector.
> Doorbell inspector who?
Your doorbell's broken.
Update: Indian bread factory no longer under investigation for food poisoning, inspector declares.
It was a naan-issue.
Husband: I lost my wife says to Inspector
Husband: I lost my wife; she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.
Inspector: what is her height?
Husband: I never checked.
Inspector: Slim or Healthy?
Husband: Not Slim can be healthy.
Inspector: color of eyes?
Husband: Never Notice.
Inspector: color of hair?
Husband: Changes According to season.
Inspector: What was she wearing?
Husband: Not sure whether it was a dress or a suit.
Inspector: Was she driving?
Husband: yes.
Inspector: Color of the car? ...
Husband: Black Audi A8 with supercharged 2.0 liter V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight- speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door….an then the Husband started crying…
Inspector: Don not worry sir,… we will find your car.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was on the train having a p**....
When the ticket inspector knocked on the toilet door and said, "Ticket please."
"There you go," I replied, passing it under the door.
"Thanks for the free ticket." replied the voice, running away.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
All I do all day is roll massive joints and deal with huge quantities of dope.
Being a pipe inspector s**....
An inspector, making his rounds, inspects an elementary school.
One teacher says to her class, "Treat him like you would the President of the United States." Sure enough, later that day, the inspector walks in to see how the lesson is doing. Just then, one of the students gets up, stomps over to the inspector, punches him in the gut, nicks his phone, and hides behind a curtain.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" shouts the teacher.
The kid says, "Deleting Twitter."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After a series of crimes in the Glasgow area, Chief Inspector McTavish has announced that he's looking for a man with one eye.
but If he doesn't find him, he's going to use both eyes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An animal health inspector will be here in a few minutes, but the dang farmhand just gave the cows a bunch of m**...
The steaks have never been higher.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If Inspector Gadget were a Lady
Would She have Utili-t**...?
Source: Me (Although I'm probably not the first person to ever think of this,)
What did the road inspector tell the road builder...
When he built the roadway wrong?
It's not my asphalt, it's your asphalt.
An inspector goes to a mental institution to check if any of the patients had been cured
When he gets there he places an empty pool on the ground. All the patients start squealing with joy, and jumping in the pool, hurting themselves. Only one patient stands to the side and doesn't jump. The inspector goes to ask him why he isn't jumping. The patient says: do you think I'm crazy? I can't swim
Mugging
A tortoise went out for a few beers and despite being severely worse for wear decided to walk home through the rough part of town. Half way home he was set upon by four snails who beat him senseless and stole what little money he still had and as a final insult they sprayed obscenities on his shell . Utterly distraught he was taken to the local police station where the inspector asked if he could remember anything about the assailants .
No - it all happened so quickly
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Inspector: What do you see ?
Sub-inspector: Idk why but, the suspect is dancing n**... in the middle of the street
Inspector: copy that
Sub-inspector: I'm not much of a dancer, but I'll try my best.
A inspector visits a sanatoriun to check its conditions.
During the tour the director takes him to one of their newly designed test rooms, claiming its foolproof.
"We fill up this bathtub to the brim see? Then we hand to the inmate a spoon and a cup and ask him to empty the tub" Says the director
The inspector nods and replies with a smile "Ah, i see. And the inmate, if sane will choose the cup because it's the biggest."
The director then looks at the inspector and raises a brow "No, the sane one will just open the drain"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Moth Inspector
A man and a woman are getting it on in bed when they hear the front door open. The woman says, "It's my husband! You'd better hide."
She throws his clothes under the bed and he hides behind the curtains. Her husband comes in, sees her all hot and sweaty, and the sheets all messed up. He looks around, and sees a big bulge in the curtains, and a pair of feet sticking out underneath. He whips the curtains open, and says, "Who the h**... are you?"
The man says, "I'm the moth inspector."
The husband says, "Moth inspector? Why are you n**...?"
The man looks down and says, "d**.... I'm too late."
Food inspection
A food inspection officer went to 3 chicken farms
Farm 1
Inspector: What do you feed the chickens ?
Farmer 1: I feed them vegetables.
Inspector: WRONG! closed down this farm immediately
Farm 2
Inspector: What do you feed the chickens ?
Farmer 2: a little scared said i feed them fruits
Inspector: WRONG! closed down this farm immediately
Farm 3
Inspector: What do you feed the chickens ?
Farmer 3: terrified that his farm will be closed as well said
"i just give all the chickens a dollar and tell them you can eat whatever you want"
