Inside Jokes
140 inside jokes and hilarious inside puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about inside that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Need a good laugh? Check out this article to learn more about inside jokes and how to use them to create a richer and more meaningful relationship. Uncover the secrets to creating fun and unique jokes that you can share with your friends, family, and significant other. Explore the different kinds of inside jokes, such as Marvel and barrel jokes, to bring more laughter into your everyday life.
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Funniest Inside Short Jokes
Short inside jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The inside humour may include short ides jokes also.
- I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold. I was so excited that I ran inside to tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.
- Whats wet on the inside and hairy on the outside. It starts with 'C', ends with 'T', and has a 'U' and an 'N' in the middle. Coconut.
- I like my women like I like my microwave Hot, clean, and she'll kill any baby I put inside her.
- What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common? They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.
- Yesterday I accidentally sent a n**... picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamp.
- I like my women like I like my microwaves... Cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and willing and able to kill any baby I put inside them.
- What is the worst part about locking your key inside your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and asking for a coat hanger.
- The population of the countryside were almost wiped out entirely by a rare breed of ticks that live and breed inside the mouths of Alpacas. The survivors now live in a post Alpaca lip tick wasteland.
- Why don't Broward County police officers need to use condoms? Because no matter how dire the situation gets, they won't come inside.
- My uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain He come out late at night to ring people's doorbells.
Because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician
Share These Inside Jokes With Friends
Inside One Liners
Which inside one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with inside? I can suggest the ones about contained and interior.
- Hey girl are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
- Why don't Ewoks yell inside? Because they use their Endor voices!
- How do you get a dozen Americans out of a car? Tell them to stay inside the car.
- On the perfect date, what question do you ask a girl twice? So... Can I come inside?
- If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside? K9P
- Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle? So that it'll fit inside the box.
- If you're outdoors you can skip this post It's just an inside joke
- Calculators May Be Ugly On The Outside But Its What's On The Inside That Counts.
- If H2O is inside a fire hydrant, what's on the outside of a fire hydrant? K9P
- Why did the vampire pull out? He needed permission to come inside.
- I like my men like I like my whisky Inside me until I can't remember my name
- I got Inside a vacuum chamber once. It was breath taking.
- Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot kids inside you
- Bill Gates walks into a bar and everyone inside becomes a millionaire... on average.
- Hey girl are you a cave in Thailand? Cause I wanna leave some kids inside you
Friends Inside Jokes
Here is a list of funny friends inside jokes and even better friends inside puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Sitting around the outdoor campfire I chuckle to myself My friend asks, what's so funny?
I reply, "I can't tell you out here, it's an inside joke." - My friend asked me why I carry my gun inside my house I told him 'Decepticons.'
He laughed, I laughed, the toaster laughed.
So I shot the toaster.
It was a good day. - What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside? A Lift
(only a joke, my American friends) - "outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend" "inside of a dog, its too dark to read"-Groucho Marx
- Fun Fact: If you drink the inside of the magic 8 ball, you can see the future. My friend did it one and he said "I think I'm gonna die."
10 minutes later he actually did! - The most heinous crime--against both Man and Nature--would be to plant dynamite inside cattle That, my friends, would be a-bomb-in-a-bull...
- You close the fridge door and hear something fall inside... That, my friends, is the sound of someone else's problem.
- My friends and I made a quarantine joke that I really want to share But as an inside joke, you wouldn't get it.
- I was hanging out with my Scizophrenic friend and all of a sudden he bursted into fits of laughter I asked what was so funny and he said "you wouldn't get it, it's an inside joke"
- If you drink that fluorescent liquid there's inside those party bracelets you can predict the future My friend just drank 5 of them and said he was going to die, 2 hours later he was dead.
Office Inside Jokes
Here is a list of funny office inside jokes and even better office inside puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do Broward County Police Officers never go into bars? They heard shots were inside.
- I wonder why Microsoft has opened an office inside my computer. These predatory businesses are getting out of hand.
- If you're on Wall-street, where is your nearest welfare office located? Inside of the U.S. tax code.
- Why was the orange-colored metal police officer found not guilty of trespassing inside the world largest dime? Everyone knew that copper was in a cent.
- Look it's Summer now and I'd like to emphasize how dangerous it is to leave your dogs inside the your cars... Speaking from a personal experience I did it once and lost my job as a police officer.
- What does 9/11 have in common with office work? Both inside jobs...
- What's white on the outside and black on the inside? An American police officer.
- Why can't you run inside the office building? Because it's n**....
- I like my women how I like my coffee Cold, bitter, a drain on my income, and able to be smelled from across the office.
Oh and with several d**... inside them.
Couples Inside Jokes
Here is a list of funny couples inside jokes and even better couples inside puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- At my executive chef job a couple called me out to compliment me for cooking their steak thoroughly with no pink inside. It's always nice to be recognized for a job well done.
Doctor Who Inside Jokes
Here is a list of funny doctor who inside jokes and even better doctor who inside puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I swallowed some food coloring once I went to the doctor and he said I was fine, but I felt like I had dyed a little inside.
- Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
- Congratulations, said the doctor, you have a new life growing inside you! The patient said, I'm a man.
The doctor said, the tapeworm doesn't care. - I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm fine, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
- I accidentally swallowed some food coloring... The doctor says I'm ok, but I feel like I'm dyeing inside.
- I accidentally drank a bottle of ink. The doctor says I'll be fine, but I feel as though I've dyed inside.
- Being stuck inside for a long time due to Covid, my wife started having recurring nightmares about how our house is made of celery. Doctors think it is stalk home syndrome.
- I ate some food coloring last week.. I went to the doctor, turns out everything is fine, but I still feel like I've dyed a little inside.
- What did Doctor Who say to his wife? It's bigger when it's inside.
- I swallowed some food coloring. My doctor says I am OK. But I think I've dyed a little inside.
Inside Marvel Jokes
Here is a list of funny inside marvel jokes and even better inside marvel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is Marvel's new, SPIDER-MAN themed trophy? A box of uncle Ben's rice with a bullet inside.
Happy Inside Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about inside you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean outs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make inside pranks.
s**... girls are like Wal-Marts
Everyone makes fun of them but when you're inside one at 4am, you think "Thank God these are here"
The Jewish way
As a Jew I have a soft spot for jokes about my own people, and this is one of my favorites that isn't so well known.
A Jewish man walks into a w**.... The madame asks him what he'd like. He asks if any of the women there can have s**... "the Jewish way". Puzzled, she goes to each of the unoccupied rooms, and asks the woman inside if she's familiar with having s**... the Jewish way. Finally, they get to the last room. Inside is a p**... who's extremely talented, and is one of the most expensive in the area. She asks, "do you know how to have s**... the Jewish way? This man's looking for a woman who does". She responds, "no, I haven't. But to stay at the top of my profession, I'm always looking to improve. If you teach me how to have s**... the Jewish way, we'll do that free of charge".
The man accepts the offer, and they have s**.... She's surprised to find that it's just regular s**...! Afterwards, she asks "What were you talking about, 'the Jewish way'? You just had s**... with me, the most expensive h**... in town, for free?!" He smiles and replies, "that's the Jewish way!".
she can't open windows.
On a cold winter morning, while her husband is away on business, a wife has a problem at home and sends a text message to her husband:
Windows frozen, it won't open
Husband texts back:
Pour boiling water over it inside and outside
Five minutes later, wife texts back.
Computer's really s**... up now...
Blondes At The Bus Stop.
Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.
A bus pulls up and opens the door. One of the blondes leans inside, asking the driver - "will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"
The bus driver shakes his head, "no, I'm sorry, it won't" he says.
The other blonde leans inside and asks, "how about me?"
Special h**...
Getting a h**... from a chick is like watching the special Olympics...
You keep cheering them on but deep down inside you know you can do better...
A cop is out on patrol, and sees a car parked in the local lover's lane, with the windows all steamed up.
He knocks on the drivers window, and the guy inside rolls it down. The cop sees that there is a guy sitting in the front seat, fully clothed, and a girl in the back seat, also fully clothed.
"What are you up to here, son?"
"Well, officer, I'm reading a magazine, as you can see."
"And what's she doing back there?"
"I think she's playing a game on her phone."
"Have you been drinking tonight?"
"No, sir. I'm only twenty."
"And how old is she?"
The guy looks at his watch and says, "Sir, in eleven minutes she'll be eighteen."
John Snow.
John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.
-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?
John laughs and continues with his drink.
-Why is this funny?
John responds,
-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...
Does it hurt anymore?
A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby. He put his hands together between his legs. Fell on the ground & rolled around in pain. She rushed to him & offered to relieve his pain as she was a Doctor.
Reluctantly he agreed.
She gently took his hands away. Unzipped his pants & put her hands inside.
She massaged him tenderly for a few minutes & asked: "How does it feel?"
He replied: "Feels great but I still think my thumb is broken"
What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?
Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.
A man is walking through the woods...
when he come across a suitcase. Inside the suitcase he finds a fox and her cubs. He dials animal control to report his discovery. The woman on the other end exclaims, "That's horrible... are they moving? The man responds, "I don't know but that would explain the suitcase"
I let a Jehova's Witness inside the other day and asked him, "what now?"...
He replied, "I'm not sure, I've never gotten this far before"
I swallowed some food coloring the other day. I'll be alright, but it feels like I dyed a little inside.
The moist finger
As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, at first encountering resistance but then plunging in, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter.
I took my finger back out and within seconds, before I knew it, she was going down on me.
And I thought to myself..... "I really need a new freakin' boat."
A drunk walks up to two priests.
He says "I'm Jesus Christ." The priest shakes his head. "No son, you're not." The drunk goes up to the second priest. "I'm Jesus Christ."
The second priest gives the same answer.
The drunk glares at them for a second. "Look I can prove it. Follow me." He leads them to a bar and walks inside. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Jesus Christ, you're here again?!"
Found this one on Wikipedia of all places
Two young women are drinking tea together. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. One of the women opens the door and finds a courier with a big great bouquet of roses. She walks inside and reads to her friend: *"Much love from your boyfriend!"* She immediately groans out: *"You know what this'll mean? This'll mean I'll be lying on my back with my legs spread wide open for the next two weeks!"* To which her friend says, *"Don't you have a vase?"*
A bar is burning to the ground, and a team of firefighters rush in to put it out.
A bar is burning to the ground and a team of firefighters rush in to put out the fire. When they get inside they see an Irishman passed out from smoke inhalation. They drag him out of the bar and eventually the Irishman comes to. The firefighter says "you were there, how did this whole thing get started?!" The Irishman responds "I don't know it was burning when I walked in"
A guy walking into a bar
sees an old man fishing in a puddle off the sidewalk.
Poor Old fool, he thought. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he'd humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today?
The old man replied, You're the eighth.
There was a b**... in my neighborhood last night
The police told us to stay inside until they shot him
What's the difference between a black man and Batman?
Batman can go inside a store without Robin
Had a house party last night
...and there's always one left over! Laid on the floor in the corner, still that drunk? He couldn't even stand! Asked him where he lived, then dragged him down the driveway to my car, his legs all over the place, picked him up, threw him inside, & took him home. Dragged him up to his house & knocked on his front door, "I've brought your son home."
His mother replied, "Where is his wheel chair?"
A little girl was drawing a picture of Jonah inside the whale in class...
Her teacher asked her "What's that?"
"It's Jonah inside the belly of the whale from the Bible." She replied
The teacher, an atheist, told her "You know that didn't really happen."
She kept drawing "When I get to heaven I'll just ask Jonah."
"What if he's not in heaven? The teacher admonished.
The girl, still drawing "Then you ask him"
A woman walks by a clothes shop, and spots a nice red dress in the window.
She goes inside to inquire:
Woman: Hi. I want to try on that red dress in the window.
Employee: Well, as you wish, but we have changing rooms too.
The pregnant lady sitting across from me laughed
"What is it?" I asked.
"Oh its nothing, just my baby doing standup."
"Really?" I inquired. "What did he say?"
"You wont get it." She laughed.
"It's an inside joke."
Every time it rains I find my wife standing at the window, looking kind of sad.
Maybe I should let her inside.
My friend and I started replacing the word 'in' with 'inside'.
For example, if we wanted to say, "it's in the fridge", we'd instead say "it's inside the fridge".
One day, my parents caught onto this. They asked me why I was saying "inside" instead of "in".
I responded,
"it's an inside joke".
My dad told me this is why different branches of the military have so much trouble communicating.
They all have different vocabulary. For instance; "Secure that building."
Tell a marine that and he'll go kill everyone inside.
Tell a soldier and he'll put up razor wire, sandbags, and machine gun nests.
Tell a sailor and he'll go in and close and lock all the windows and doors.
Tell an airman and he will take out a lease with an option to buy.
I got a strange note in my bag at the Taco Bell drive-thru last night...
The lady seemed very frazzled and the note said "help there are two armed men inside."
I drove off laughing, thinking "well yeah it would take forever to make tacos with one arm"
A bag of Frito Lays and a bra are the same...
Once you open them you realize there's only half of what you thought inside
I am a man trapped inside the body of a woman.
I will never keep l**... and glue in the same drawer ever again.
A famous heart surgeon died and everyone was gathered at his f**.... A coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone had paid their respects, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.
Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him said, control yourself man.
I'm sorry, he replied, I was thinking about my own f**....
What's so funny about that?
I'm a gynecologist.
I like my women like i like my microwave
In the kitchen and ready to kill any baby i put inside them.
New study shows bodies found from the Bermuda Triangle all died from heat exhaustion...
...everyone knows its 180 degrees inside a triangle, I don't know why people even bother traveling through it.
My pregnant wife asked me if I ever worried it would be too hot for the baby inside her.
I said, Nah, it's probably w**... temperature.
My girlfriend dumped me on 9/11.
That's one way of making sure I'll never forget.
^^^This ^^^isn't ^^^a ^^^joke, ^^^I'm ^^^actually ^^^broken ^^^inside.
I have come to the realization that I am, in fact, a man trapped inside a woman's body…
In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have put the l**... next to the glue…
A teenager lost a contact lens while playing in the driveway...
After a fruitless search, he went inside the house and told his mother he lost a lens and, try as he might, could not find it.
Undaunted, the mother went outside and in only a few minutes returned with the lens in her hand.
"How did you manage to find it, mom?" the teenager asked.
"We weren't looking for the same thing" she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150".
My friend keeps telling me to cheer up these days...
My friend keeps telling me to cheer up these days. He says it could be a lot worse , I could be trapped inside an underground hole filled with water.
I know he means well.
Did you hear about the surgeon who branded his initials on a patient's o**...?
Apparently it was an inside joke
I think t**... is a bad name for a c**... brand...
...because of course, the Trojans were a people whose lives were ruined when a vessel containing little warriors unexpectedly exploded inside their city walls...
Two condoms walk past a gay bar
One asks the other, Hey, wanna go inside and get s**...-faced?
Barack and Trump found themselves at a local barbershop. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump reached for the aftershave. Donald was quick to stop him, saying, "No thanks. My wife, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."
The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.
Why does the blonde have smudges on the inside of her windshield?
She needs to drag her finger across the words as she's reading street signs.
Note: I just made this up. However, please tell me if someone else has a similar one.
I am disgusted by the youth of today....
Let me start by saying my girlfriend is 20 years younger than me. I am 39 and my girlfriend is 19, the amount of a**... I got from a group of teenagers inside the restaurant was nothing short of vile.....comments like PEADO NONCE KIDDY FIDDLER
It totally ruined our 10 year anniversary.
My mom opened the door and caught me m**....
I looked straight into her eyes and said "shut the door!"
Her face turned all red and she yelled at me "get inside!!!"
Three priests gathered together for a drink .
During their get together ,the host ask the other two :
- How do you split your money with the Lord ?
"I draw a line on the floor in my church ,then ,i throw the money in the air ,whatever is on my side I get to keep ,whatever falls on his side he keeps it" sais the first priest.
The second one replies "well I draw circle and then I' throw the money in the air ,whatever falls inside the circle is mine ,whatever Falls outside the circle is His" .
"How do you split your money ?" they both ask the host priest.
I' just throw the money in the air and he keeps whatever he wants.
I adopted a dog that used to be owned by a blacksmith...
As soon as I got him inside, he made a bolt for the door.
Two thieves break into a house. Once inside, they sneak into the master bedroom and tie up the n**... woman they find in there.
A startled, n**..., man comes out of the bathroom, sees what's happening and says, "Please, please, take whatever you want, I will even give you the combination to my safe. Just, please, untie her and let her go."
The thieves were surprised by how heartfelt the pleas from the man were. One of them says, "Wow, you must really love your wife in order to beg like that."
The man replies, "I do, and she will be home any minute!"
One Day a Cowboy Rode into Town
He t**... his horse and entered a saloon
When he exited the saloon, he found his horse missing
The cowboy shouted, "I'm going to go inside for another drink, when I'm done, my horse better be returned. If not, I'll do what I did back in Texas."
The cowboy went back inside the bar, got a drink, and returned to find his horse.
As he saddled up, a man approached him and asked,
"Out of curiosity, what did you do back in Texas?"
The cowboy responded,
"I had to walk home."
P.S. Sorry
A guy walks into a bar, sits at a table and orders a beer.
He then proceeds to pull out hundreds of pink valentine's day cards, write inside them and stamp them with "Love" stamps. He then pulls out a bottle of expensive perfume and spritzes each envelope.
The bartender finally can't contain his curiosity and approaches the man. "You must have 500 or more cards there," the bartender says. "I've got to admit I'm curious what you're doing."
"Oh, every year at Valentine's Day I send out 500 cards, each one signed 'Guess Who?'" the guy says.
"But why?" the bartender asks.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the guy replies.
Little 8-year-old Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was doing, he asked: What are you doing there, Nancy?
My goldfish died, Nancy sobbed. And I've just buried him.
The obnoxious neighbour laughed and said condescendingly: That's a really big hole for a little goldfish, don't you think?
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth with her shovel and replied: That's because he's inside your cat.
What do w**... and Walmart have in common?
We all make fun of them, but when we're inside one at 4am we're glad they're around.
In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:
A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.
The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.
A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.
The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"
"It's hard to say."
I was digging in the garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run inside and tell my wife.
But then I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden.
Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
A mother shark is teaching her young one how to eat humans.....
"First, you go straight at them and then you circle them. You go straight at them again and circle them again. Finally, you go straight at them and then you eat them"
"But, mom, why can't I just eat them the first time around?"
"Well, I suppose you can, but why would you want to eat them with all the s**... still inside?"
A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby.
A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby. He put his hands together between his legs, fell on the ground & rolled around in pain.
She rushed to him & offered to relieve his pain as she was a Doctor. Reluctantly he agreed. She gently took his hands away. Unzipped his pants & put her hands inside. She massaged him tenderly for a few minutes & asked: "How does it feel?"
He replied: "Feels great, but I still think my thumb is broken"
A blond cop pulls over a blond and asks for her drivers license.
.
The blond starts looking through her car then asks, "Uhh, what are they again?"
The blond cop replies, "Ugh. It's the thing in your purse with your picture on it."
"Oh yeah," says the blond who reaches in her purse, pulls out a compact mirror, and hands it over.
The blond cop opens it, takes a look inside, hands it back, and says, "I'm sorry ma'am. If I knew you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over."
Are you Blonde?
A blond cop pulls over a blond and asks for her drivers license. The blond starts looking through her car then asks, "Uhh, what are they again?"
The blond cop replies, "Ugh. It's the thing in your purse with your picture on it." "Oh yeah," says the blond who reaches in her purse, pulls out a compact mirror, and hands it over. The blond cop opens it, takes a look inside, hands it back, and says, "I'm sorry ma'am. If I knew you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over."
A software tester walks into a bar
Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a bear. Orders -1 beers. Orders hdtseatfibkd.
First real customer walks into a bar and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames killing everyone inside.
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, obviously. How they got inside the lightbulb is the part I don't understand...
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have
happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.
I often wonder if my Thai girlfriend is actually a ladyboy...
Something inside me says, yes.