The Best 67 Insert Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Insert jokes. There are some insert inject jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these insert funnier puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Insert Jokes and Puns

How does a Scotsman find a sheep in the tall grass?

Very satisfying.

Retweaked joke:
How does a (insert nationality here) find a sheep in the tall grass?
Very (insert extremely lustful emotion here)!

A great joke/insult to make fun of a friend/enemy.

[Insert name] was signing up for a website and types in "MYPENIS" for his password, and the website said, "Password is too short."

What did the bird say when he saw _____ (insert name)?

Twit twit.

Insert joke, What did the bird say when he saw _____ (insert name)?

Why was the woman so attached to her Dr. Scholl's gel insert?

It was her sole comfort.

Kinda corny but it did actually crack me up...

Q. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?
A. Banned from the Zoo.

How does a _____ (insert race, occupation, etc. ) find his goat in tall grass?

Very satisfying

Free doughnuts

I went to Krispy Kreme for talk like a pirate day to get a free doughnut. I looked the cashier in the face and told her I used the free WiFi to download [insert popular movie name here]. They gave me free doughnuts for 25 to life.

Insert joke, Free doughnuts

As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection.

"Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog," said the vet.

How many clickbait articles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



2 gay monkeys walk into a bar...

[insert punchline]

You can explore insert insertion reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean insert put dad jokes. There are also insert puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the zoo.

How many perverts does it take to insert a light bulb?

Only one; However, it takes an entire emergency ward to get it back out again.

As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection.

As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection.

"Maybe you should wait outside while I examine your dog," said the vet.

[Programmer Joke] Why did the int drown?

Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)

What did the catholic communist say to his new wife?

"I can't wait to insert myself into your means of production!"

Insert joke, What did the catholic communist say to his new wife?

Women on their period always ovary act.

*insert pun here*

What's 18 inches long and hangs in front of an arsehole

[insert name of political opponent here]'s tie

What do you call an army of toddlers?


*insert cringe here*

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

In Soviet Russia, the government own businesses. In Capitalist America, businesses own the government.

*Insert edgy quotes

A liberal arts student walks into a bar.

(Insert pronoun here) can't buy anything.

What does Monica Lewinsky and a soda machine have in common?

They both say "insert Bill here"

Divorce custody

A couples divorce proceedings are in progress, and the case of who gets custody of their 4 year old child gets raised.

The mother pleads her case: "I'm the mother, I carried her for 9 months so of course she should stay with me."

The father responds: "if I go to an ATM machine, and I insert my card, and money comes out, does the money belong to me or to the machine?"

What's the tallest building in [insert your town/city here]

The Library, it has the most stories......

As he inserted the rectal thermometer [nsfw]

As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection

"Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog," said the vet.

You know, living through these tumultuous times politically reminds of a saying my great-great grandfather always use to say...

(*Insert racial pejorative here*)

Can I .. ?

A man walked into a newspaper office with an ad saying:
'Man seeks woman to date.'

He was asked: "Do you want to insert it today?"

Man: "Sure, but I can't write that in the ad, can I?"

My grandmother went to a gynecologist to check on hey cervical cancer.

The doctor says to my grandmother: "Now, Mrs. Smith, I'm going to insert my finger..."

My grandmother replies: "Can you put in two? I want a second opinion."

A man returns home from a night out at the bar and is quite inebriated

He is trying to get into his house but can't seem to get the keys into the keyhole.

Meanwhile, a stranger passes by and asks the man if he can help him unlock his door.

The man replies, "No, you just hold the house steady and I'll insert the keys."

What do children and ATMs have in common?

If you stare at them for too long, chances are somebody will call the police.

What's the difference between children and ATMs?

A child won't say "Please insert".

What do you call contributive legwear?


*Insert rim shot*

"She puts it in, takes it out, tastes it, then puts it back in...

She really needs to change her microwave!"

*insert 4am informercial*

How is Monica Lewinsky like a vending machine?

They both say, "Insert Bill here"

I haven't [insert] since last year.


How do you get a (insert college here) grad off your front porch?

You pay em' for the pizza

So the government shut down...

I saw my senator with a sign that said, "Will lie, cheat, and steal for food."


now my senator has to lie, cheat, and steal for free.


so will my senator stop lying, cheating, and stealing?

Take your pick or insert your parasite of choice. And don't forget to tip your waitresses.

A sausagy matter

A father had his son drop out of school for being an absolute schmuck, he got him a job at the sausage factpry where he works.

Dad : in this machine you insert a donkey and it turns into sausage.

Son : is there a machine where you put in the sausage and it turns into a Donkey?

Dad : i wouldn't call your mom a machine.

How do you keep an idiot occupied without Net Neutrality laws?

Please insert credit card information for punchline. If you would like a funnier punchline, choose our premium package for only twice the price!

If you own a business and want people to insert their credit card chip into the reader but they are about to use the strip reader, you should always say: Swiper, No Swiping!

Toys R Us

More like Toys Were Us (insert depressing drum roll here)

So I've been seeing a lot of [insert thing here] that give me life videos of YouTube lately

No matter how many of the videos I make my parents watch, they won't come out of their coffins.

More of an insult but not a repost

What's the difference between (insert friend you want to roast) and England?

England can get a semi

Courtesy of my [insert single-digit number] year old son/daughter.

[Horrible pun I thought of last night]

Don't insert a cotton swab in to your ear canal...

Just a Q-tip

I hate my job. I insert cut up meat into people's anuses for scientific purposes.

It's a mince to an end.

So the EU just passed their internet censorship legislation...

[Insert $0.05 tax to view joke here]

What do you get when you insert huma DNA into a goat?

A lifetime ban from the petting zoo.

I'm an expert gambler. I found this machine at the casino once where I won every time.

You just insert a dollar and it spits out 4 coins!

How do you make payment at a robot sex brothel?

You insert your chip and release your data.

What's a group of black guys called?

An oil spill. (insert triggered person here)

I ordered a new dish washer on black friday.

- (insert generic mail order bride joke here)

What do you call the activity where you insert a hairy rod in your mouth and at the end you spit out a white liquid?

Brushing your teeth.

Hiring a (insert race here) is alot like Russian roulette only 1 in 8 actually work


A Inserts The Defin The When, WD 40

? waRP j2kp1p4,qwdszcx HaHaHa Soo

When Chrsitgpe\\r




To The XD

In court, a woman asks for custody of her daughter.

Woman claims that she gone through pain by giving birth to her daughter to bring her to this world therefore she should obtain the custody.

Then the judge asks the man for an argument why he should obtain the custody of his daughter.

The man said: "Judge, if you insert a coin into a vending machine and get a bottle of Coke, to whom does the bottle belongs?

Vending machines or yours?

What Do You Get When You Insert Woody And Buzz Into Any Opening In Your Body?

"You've Got A Friend In Me"

Book Jokes.

I read a thriller in Braille.
You can really feel the suspense.

I'm reading a book about Anti-Gravity.
It's impossible to put down.

I read a book about submarine construction.
It's riveting.

I'm reading a book about adhesives.
It has me glued to my seat .

I read a book on suicide.
It had me on the edge of my building.

Feel free to insert more. :)

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat?

The answer turns out to be "banned from the petting zoo".

Change comes from within

But you have to insert a dollar first

(Insert good title here)

Q:What is a books favorite breakfast?

A:A synonym roll!

First post

What do you get if you insert strands of Human DNA into a goat...?

Banned from the zoo.

A man throws up a cow pat and goes to the doctor

Doctor: "I can't seem to figure out the issue so I'll give you some shots just be on the safe side"

Man: "No! Those things make you sick and allow the government to insert tracking chips!"

Doctor: "Who told you this?"

Man: "My wife"

Doctor: "Tell me, does your wife make all your meals?"

Man: "Yeah, she does"

Doctor: "I've worked out your problem. Someones been feeding you bullshit"

A man walked into a newspaper office with an ad saying: 'Man seeks woman to date.'

He was asked: "Do you want to insert it today?"

Man: "Sure, but I can't write that in the ad, can I?

Insert Russian anthem...

My girlfriend said she was going to leave me, since I was getting too much into communism,

I said-


As I was inserting my third battery into my new toy gift...

My dad remarked that this wasn't the kind of puppy that needed batteries.

Merry Christmas!

A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go

The Russian says: we used my fishing rod, so I get first 2 wishes.
First: I want all the *insert some racial slurs* out of my glorious country.
Second: I want a big wall around Russia, nobody can cross.

Then Ukrainian has a dialogue with the fish
- Is the wall done?
- Yes
- Is it strong and durable?
- Yes
- Nobody can climb it?
- Nobody
- And nobody but moscovites inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then fill it up with shit up to the edges

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the insert append jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working insert meta piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes