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Insecure Jokes

76 insecure jokes and hilarious insecure puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about insecure that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for ways to make your partner laugh without making them feel uncomfortable and insecure? This article has some jokes that are safe and funny and will alleviate any insecurities. Get some tips and advice on using humor to ease your partner's feelings of uncertainty.

Funniest Insecure Short Jokes

Short insecure jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The insecure humour may include short anxious jokes also.

  1. My wife left me because I'm too insecure. No wait, she's back.
    She just went to make a cup of tea.
  2. My wife left me because I am too insecure. Never mind, she was just picking up some groceries.
  3. My wife left me because I'm too insecure. No wait, she's back. She just went out to bring me a cake.
  4. My girlfriend left me because I'm insecure. Oh wait, she's back. I guess she just went to the grocery store.
  5. My husband has left me because I'm insecure Oh no he's back, he just went to get coffee :)
  6. My girlfriend left me because I'm too insecure... Oh wait, she's back. She just went to the bathroom.
  7. My wife left me because she said I'm insecure. No, no. Wait. Here she comes. She just went to the bathroom.
  8. My wife left me because of how insecure I am. Nevermind, she is back. She was just getting some tea.
  9. Hired a bouncer recently, but he showed up 5 minutes late, and during the event he wouldn't stop asking me if "I was mad at him" Turns out I hired an "Insecurity Guard".
  10. My girlfriend left me because I'm too insecure and paranoid. Oh wait, never mind. She was just getting the mail.

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Insecure One Liners

Which insecure one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with insecure? I can suggest the ones about unstable and unsure.

  1. My wife left me because I'm insecure and paranoid.
  2. My wife left me because I am insecure No wait, she's back.
    She just went to get coffee.
  3. I like my women like I like my password Short and insecure
  4. What do you call a lock with low self-confidence? Insecure.
  5. What do passwords and teenagers have in common? They are both insecure.
  6. My girlfriend left me because I'm so insecure.
  7. Jews are so insecure... they constantly remind us their country isreal.
  8. I used to work as an insecurity guard. But I don't think I was very good at it.
  9. It's okay password... ...I'm insecure too...
  10. I'm a lot like my password Insecure.
  11. My wife left me because I'm too insecure. Oh wait, she's back.
  12. What I'd like to tell my password… It's okay password, I'm insecure too.
  13. My girlfriend left me because I'm so insecure. Oh, nevermind, she was walking the dogs.
  14. My girlfriend left me because I'm so insecure... No wait, she was just getting groceries!
  15. You wouldn't want to keep your money in a depressed safe. It's too insecure.

Insecure Boyfriend Jokes

Here is a list of funny insecure boyfriend jokes and even better insecure boyfriend puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife left for being too insecure Next day she had a new boyfriend. she proved me right for being insecure.
Insecure joke, My wife left for being too insecure

Silly & Ridiculous Insecure Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about insecure you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean uneasy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make insecure pranks.

Could be taken as racist, or insecure (maybe both)

What do you call a immigrant fighting a r**.... "Alien versus predator"

Why does internet explorer ask so many questions?

Because it's insecure. It has trust issues.

What do you call a night watchman with deep-set self-esteem issues?

An insecurity guard 😏

Ever hear the joke about the insecure comedian?

...it's okay, you probably wouldn't have liked it, anyway.

My friend asked me why I act so insecure when he would talk to my girlfriend.

I don't remember what my answer was, but their son Malcolm turns two next month.

Trump's presidency is historic...

He's the first president to ever be more concerned about personal insecurity than he is about national security.

My girlfriend left me because I was too insecure.

No. Wait. She's back. She just went to go make coffee.

My wife left me because I am too insecure

Never mind, she just reposted this joke a dozen times.

My girlfriend left me today because i'm to insecure

No wait she's back, she just just got back from grocery shopping

A man walks into a small bank

There is no queue and a single teller who he approaches, a big smile on their face visible after a quick glance around:
"Hey, you know something? I like my banks how I like my ladies."
The teller rolls her eyes before asking "How?"
While pulling out a handgun, the man answered:
"Insecure."

An insecure farmer didn't know how many cows he owned...

...so he counted them all, and came to the total of 196 cows. He asked a neighbouring farmer for a second opinion. She came up with a total of 200 cows.
Perplexed by this, the man counted again, and once again came up with 196 cows. He once again asked his neighbour to count them. Again, she reached 200 cows. When he asked her how they were getting different numbers, she said
"I rounded them up."

My wife just left me, she always said I was too insecure

Wait, nevermind
She was just in the bathroom

My wife left me because she thinks I'm too insecure.

No wait, she's back. She was just reposting this joke.

My psychiatrist says I invade other people's privacy because I'm "insecure".

Says the guy whose home WiFi password is "password123".

What do you call s**... between two insecure deaf people?

An awkward silence

My wife left me and took my children because I've become insecure and paranoid

My wife left me because I'm too insecure.

Oh wait, she's back.
She just went out to buy some milk.

Insecure people are like chocolate chip cookies

After they get baked, they'll crumble easily.

My wife just left me because I'm too insecure

Oh wait, she's back.
She just went out to get coffee. I wonder who she was having coffee with...

Hey girl are you HTTP?

Because you're really insecure

I went to a therapist to talk about how insecure I was about my looks.

He told me to lie on the couch face down.

You guys hear about the insecure cross-eyed teacher??

Apparently he couldn't control his pupils

My gf left me because she thinks I am insecure.

Oh wait.... she's back. She went to get coffee.

My girl is so insecure...

Even though she doesn't find any hair on my clothes she still be like "Who's the bald chick?!".

I have so many insecurities but from now im going to start acting like a plant.

Get to the root problems

I am pretty sure my cat is gay

Though he seems a bit too insecure of it since he keeps coming out of the closet over and over , poor guy.

A 4'6 woman walks into a matchmaking service…

A 4'6 (137cm) woman walks into a matchmaking service.
She says to the man behind the counter, I'm really insecure about my height, so the only thing I'm looking for in a partner is that he's shorter than me.
The man replies, You've got really low standards.
.
[OC, I think]

I have 1,800 nuclear missiles, 283 battle ships, 9,400 planes.. I spend more on my military than the next 12 nations combined and despite spending more every year I still feel insecure...

I have a military-industrial complex.

I wish I were better at self deprecating jokes

Unfortunately I'm far too insecure about myself to make them

My wife left me because I'm so insecure.

Oh wait, don't worry, she was just out getting coffee.

The bouncer that I hired won't stop asking me if "I'm mad at him"

I think I accidentally hired an "Insecurity Guard"

I carry a notice with me to let other people know about my anxiety disorder.

It's my social insecurity card

My wife left me this morning because of my insecurity issues.

Oh, wait, she's back. She just went to get milk.

Everybody said I must be an insecure, small man to try and marry multiple people.

I think they're wrong, I think it's big-o'-me!

My wife minored in psychology. She's always using all her amateur psychology when we argue.

When I fired the pool boy, she said, "Well, you know, you're only firing him because he's so young and good looking, and you feel threatened and insecure, because it reminds you of your own mortality, and you're projecting all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way, because these feelings are just too traumatic for you to deal with."
I said, "Honey...we don't have a pool."

Insecure joke, My wife minored in psychology. She's always using all her amateur psychology when we argue.

jokes about insecure