Silly & Ridiculous Insecure Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
My wife left me because I'm too insecure.
No wait, she's back.
She just went to make a cup of tea.
My wife left me because I am insecure
No wait, she's back.
She just went to get coffee.
Could be taken as racist, or insecure (maybe both)
What do you call a immigrant fighting a rapist. "Alien versus predator"
Why does internet explorer ask so many questions?
Because it's insecure. It has trust issues.
Why did the dog feel insecure in her bathing suit?
She was a little husky.
What do you call a lock with low self-confidence?
Insecure.
Ever hear the joke about the insecure comedian?
...it's okay, you probably wouldn't have liked it, anyway.
Jews are so insecure...
they constantly remind us their country isreal.
My friend asked me why I act so insecure when he would talk to my girlfriend.
I don't remember what my answer was, but their son Malcolm turns two next month.
My girlfriend left me because I was too insecure.
No. Wait. She's back. She just went to go make coffee.
My girlfriend left me because I'm too insecure...
Oh wait, she's back. She just went to the bathroom.
You can explore insecure insecurities reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean insecure gamecube dad jokes. There are also insecure puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
You wouldn't want to keep your money in a depressed safe.
It's too insecure.
My wife left me because I am too insecure.
Never mind, she was just picking up some groceries.
What do passwords and teenagers have in common?
They are both insecure.
My wife left me because I am too insecure
Never mind, she just reposted this joke a dozen times.
My girlfriend left me today because i'm to insecure
No wait she's back, she just just got back from grocery shopping
A man walks into a small bank
There is no queue and a single teller who he approaches, a big smile on their face visible after a quick glance around:
"Hey, you know something? I like my banks how I like my ladies."
The teller rolls her eyes before asking "How?"
While pulling out a handgun, the man answered:
"Insecure."
An insecure farmer didn't know how many cows he owned...
...so he counted them all, and came to the total of 196 cows. He asked a neighbouring farmer for a second opinion. She came up with a total of 200 cows.
Perplexed by this, the man counted again, and once again came up with 196 cows. He once again asked his neighbour to count them. Again, she reached 200 cows. When he asked her how they were getting different numbers, she said
"I rounded them up."
What I'd like to tell my password…
It's okay password, I'm insecure too.
My wife just left me, she always said I was too insecure
Wait, nevermind
She was just in the bathroom
My wife left me because she thinks I'm too insecure.
No wait, she's back. She was just reposting this joke.
To make a long story short,
Make it feel insecure about itself.
My psychiatrist says I invade other people's privacy because I'm "insecure".
Says the guy whose home WiFi password is "password123".
What do you call sex between two insecure deaf people?
An awkward silence
My wife left me because I'm insecure and paranoid.
My wife left me and took my children because I've become insecure and paranoid
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
My wife left me because I'm too insecure.
Oh wait, she's back.
She just went out to buy some milk.
My wife left me because I'm too insecure.
Oh wait, she's back.
Are you http?
Cuz you're so insecure ://
I'm a lot like my password
Insecure.
My girlfriend left me because I'm too insecure and paranoid.
Oh wait, never mind. She was just getting the mail.
What did the insecure, cheesy dorito say?
"I'm nacho sure anymore"
A fisherman is selling fishing supplies at a market
An insecure rich man comes up to him and asks, what's your net worth?
Insecure people are like chocolate chip cookies
After they get baked, they'll crumble easily.
My wife just left me because I'm too insecure
Oh wait, she's back.
She just went out to get coffee. I wonder who she was having coffee with...
My girlfriend left me because I'm so insecure.
Oh, nevermind, she was walking the dogs.
How do you reassure a postman who is insecure of his gender?
You call him a Male Man
Hey girl are you HTTP?
Because you're really insecure
I went to a therapist to talk about how insecure I was about my looks.
He told me to lie on the couch face down.
My girlfriend left me because I'm so insecure...
No wait, she was just getting groceries!
You guys hear about the insecure cross-eyed teacher??
Apparently he couldn't control his pupils
My husband has left me because I'm insecure
Oh no he's back, he just went to get coffee :)
My wife left me because of how insecure I am.
Nevermind, she is back. She was just getting some tea.
I like my women like I like my passwords
Short and insecure
My gf left me because she thinks I am insecure.
Oh wait.... she's back. She went to get coffee.
My girl is so insecure...
Even though she doesn't find any hair on my clothes she still be like "Who's the bald chick?!".
I am pretty sure my cat is gay
Though he seems a bit too insecure of it since he keeps coming out of the closet over and over , poor guy.
A 4'6 woman walks into a matchmaking service…
A 4'6 (137cm) woman walks into a matchmaking service.
She says to the man behind the counter, I'm really insecure about my height, so the only thing I'm looking for in a partner is that he's shorter than me.
The man replies, You've got really low standards.
.
[OC, I think]
I have 1,800 nuclear missiles, 283 battle ships, 9,400 planes.. I spend more on my military than the next 12 nations combined and despite spending more every year I still feel insecure...
I have a military-industrial complex.
My girlfriend left me because I'm so insecure.
My girlfriend left me because I'm insecure.
Oh wait, she's back. I guess she just went to the grocery store.
I wish I were better at self deprecating jokes
Unfortunately I'm far too insecure about myself to make them
My wife left me because I'm so insecure.
Oh wait, don't worry, she was just out getting coffee.
My wife left me because I'm too insecure.
No wait, she's back. She just went out to bring me a cake.
My wife left me because she said I'm insecure.
No, no. Wait. Here she comes. She just went to the bathroom.
Everybody said I must be an insecure, small man to try and marry multiple people.
I think they're wrong, I think it's big-o'-me!
My wife minored in psychology. She's always using all her amateur psychology when we argue.
When I fired the pool boy, she said, "Well, you know, you're only firing him because he's so young and good looking, and you feel threatened and insecure, because it reminds you of your own mortality, and you're projecting all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way, because these feelings are just too traumatic for you to deal with."
I said, "Honey...we don't have a pool."
