Insecure Jokes
76 insecure jokes and hilarious insecure puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about insecure that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for ways to make your partner laugh without making them feel uncomfortable and insecure? This article has some jokes that are safe and funny and will alleviate any insecurities. Get some tips and advice on using humor to ease your partner's feelings of uncertainty.
Funniest Insecure Short Jokes
Short insecure jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The insecure humour may include short anxious jokes also.
- My wife left me because I'm too insecure. No wait, she's back.
She just went to make a cup of tea. - My husband has left me because I'm insecure Oh no he's back, he just went to get coffee :)
- Hired a bouncer recently, but he showed up 5 minutes late, and during the event he wouldn't stop asking me if "I was mad at him" Turns out I hired an "Insecurity Guard".
- My girlfriend left me because I'm too insecure and paranoid. Oh wait, never mind. She was just getting the mail.
- You guys hear about the insecure cross-eyed teacher?? Apparently he couldn't control his pupils
- Ever hear the joke about the insecure comedian? ...it's okay, you probably wouldn't have liked it, anyway.
- I carry a notice with me to let other people know about my anxiety disorder. It's my social insecurity card
- Trump's presidency is historic... He's the first president to ever be more concerned about personal insecurity than he is about national security.
- I went to a therapist to talk about how insecure I was about my looks. He told me to lie on the couch face down.
- I have so many insecurities but from now im going to start acting like a plant. Get to the root problems
Share These Insecure Jokes With Friends
Insecure One Liners
Which insecure one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with insecure? I can suggest the ones about unstable and unsure.
- My wife left me because I'm insecure and paranoid.
- I like my women like I like my password Short and insecure
- What do you call a lock with low self-confidence? Insecure.
- What do passwords and teenagers have in common? They are both insecure.
- My girlfriend left me because I'm so insecure.
- I used to work as an insecurity guard. But I don't think I was very good at it.
- It's okay password... ...I'm insecure too...
- I'm a lot like my password Insecure.
- My girlfriend left me because I'm so insecure. Oh, nevermind, she was walking the dogs.
- You wouldn't want to keep your money in a depressed safe. It's too insecure.
- What do you call a night watchman with deep-set self-esteem issues? An insecurity guard 😏
- My wife left me and took my children because I've become insecure and paranoid
- To make a long story short, Make it feel insecure about itself.
- What did the insecure, cheesy dorito say? "I'm nacho sure anymore"
- "Does this uniform make me look fat?" Asked the insecurity guard.
Insecure Boyfriend Jokes
Here is a list of funny insecure boyfriend jokes and even better insecure boyfriend puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife left for being too insecure Next day she had a new boyfriend. she proved me right for being insecure.

Silly & Ridiculous Insecure Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about insecure you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean uneasy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make insecure pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Could be taken as racist, or insecure (maybe both)
What do you call a immigrant fighting a r**.... "Alien versus predator"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does internet explorer ask so many questions?
Because it's insecure. It has trust issues.
Why did the dog feel insecure in her bathing suit?
She was a little husky.
I thought of this joke while at work today, tell me what you think!
Why can't two jealous people talk on the phone together?
It is always an insecure line!
Why can't the insecure fish sing well?
He's never comfortable in his own scales.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What common trait do viruses, t**... horses and worms have in common?
They are all INSECURE.
Guy wants to ask out his crush...
then realizes that he is so insecure, he makes windows xp proud.
So the FBI paid professional hackers to unlock the shooter's iPhone.
But whenever I pay hackers to unlock an iPhone, I'm "too insecure to be in a relationship".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hillary will be the most transparent president ever...
... because she will have every state secret sitting on an insecure server in her basement. hahahaha *cry*
What's the most insecure soup for an online security professional?
Leak (leek) soup!
My friend asked me why I act so insecure when he would talk to my girlfriend.
I don't remember what my answer was, but their son Malcolm turns two next month.
What does an insecure white kid do when he accidentally leaves a page?
Alt+Right
My wife left me because she was too insecure
I'll just have to do a better job tying up my next wife.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The way a bright light shows how much dust is in my room,
w**... does that with my insecurities
A man walks into a small bank
There is no queue and a single teller who he approaches, a big smile on their face visible after a quick glance around:
"Hey, you know something? I like my banks how I like my ladies."
The teller rolls her eyes before asking "How?"
While pulling out a handgun, the man answered:
"Insecure."
Did you hear about the insecure skunk?
He could never trust his end stinks.
I'm not insecure!
Am I?
I hate it when someone delete their post.It just shows how insecure they are and their inability to handle criticism.
My psychiatrist says I invade other people's privacy because I'm "insecure".
Says the guy whose home WiFi password is "password123".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call s**... between two insecure deaf people?
An awkward silence
Mine is bigger than your bf's...
List of insecurities
Want to know my secret to looking so young?
It's the adult acne and insecurities
A fisherman is selling fishing supplies at a market
An insecure rich man comes up to him and asks, what's your net worth?
Insecure people are like chocolate chip cookies
After they get baked, they'll crumble easily.
What do you call an extremely insecure extrovert?
An introvert
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you reassure a postman who is insecure of his gender?
You call him a Male Man
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hey girl are you HTTP?
Because you're really insecure
My girlfriend is very insecure about relationships
It probably didn't help when I told her I've never broken up with a girl who wasn't pregnant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girl is so insecure...
Even though she doesn't find any hair on my clothes she still be like "Who's the bald chick?!".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I am pretty sure my cat is gay
Though he seems a bit too insecure of it since he keeps coming out of the closet over and over , poor guy.
A 4'6 woman walks into a matchmaking service…
A 4'6 (137cm) woman walks into a matchmaking service.
She says to the man behind the counter, I'm really insecure about my height, so the only thing I'm looking for in a partner is that he's shorter than me.
The man replies, You've got really low standards.
.
[OC, I think]
I have 1,800 nuclear missiles, 283 battle ships, 9,400 planes.. I spend more on my military than the next 12 nations combined and despite spending more every year I still feel insecure...
I have a military-industrial complex.
I wish I were better at self deprecating jokes
Unfortunately I'm far too insecure about myself to make them
Everybody said I must be an insecure, small man to try and marry multiple people.
I think they're wrong, I think it's big-o'-me!
My wife minored in psychology. She's always using all her amateur psychology when we argue.
When I fired the pool boy, she said, "Well, you know, you're only firing him because he's so young and good looking, and you feel threatened and insecure, because it reminds you of your own mortality, and you're projecting all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way, because these feelings are just too traumatic for you to deal with."
I said, "Honey...we don't have a pool."

