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Ink Jokes

118 ink jokes and hilarious ink puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ink that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

A collection of jokes about ink, including invisible ink, printer ink, squid ink, ink pens, ink blots, ink cartridges, Ink Sans, Penn, arachnid, and bile. Read on to find hilarious ink puns and jokes that will have you laughing out loud!

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Funniest Ink Short Jokes

Short ink jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ink humour may include short violets jokes also.

  1. People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain. Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
  2. Why was the little ink drop crying? His mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be.
  3. What did the valley girl say when her pen ran out of ink? I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW
  4. Why was the ink blot upset? Because his father was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be.
  5. People are always amazed at the skilled tattoo artists in Spain. No one expects the Spanish ink precision
  6. People are astonished when they see the tattoo that I got in Madrid Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
  7. Why was the little drop of ink so sad? Because his father was in the pen, and he didn't know how long the sentence was!
  8. Tattoos People are amazed at how good the tattoo artists are in Spain........
    They weren't expecting the Spanish ink precision
  9. I let some of my friends use my high quality printer from Spain. When I told them where it was from, they all gasped in shock. Because no-one expects the Spanish ink precision!
  10. In New York there are many tattoo artists from all over the world, but for some reason the artists from Spain have trouble getting business. Why? Because nobody expects the Spanish ink precision!

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Ink One Liners

Which ink one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ink? I can suggest the ones about printer ink and ink pen.

  1. Why did Shakespeare only write in ink? Pencils posed an issue; 2B or not 2B
  2. Why did Shakespeare write in ink? Pencils were confusing to him. 2B or not 2B?
  3. What do horror movies and printer ink have in common? The black one always dies first.
  4. Why was the pig covered in ink? Because it lived in a pen
  5. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus ink Tentickles
  6. Why did Shakespeare only write in ink? A: Pencils confused him — 2B or not 2B?
  7. They say invisible ink is making a comeback I can't see it happening
  8. Didja hear about the guy whose wife got trapped in a vatful of ink? She dyed.
  9. Why cant obama ever be on a dollar bill? they would have to use to much ink.
  10. I accidentally had a jar of invisible ink I'm now at the hospital waiting to be seen
  11. Where did Frankenstein go to get his tattoo done? Monsters Ink
  12. What did Mike Wazowski call his tattoo parlor? Monster's Ink.
  13. I drank a bottle of invisible ink. I'm at the hospital waiting to be seen.
  14. Why did Shakespeare only write in ink ? Pencils posed a problem, 2B or not 2B
  15. Why did the farmer name his pig Ink? Because he kept running out of the pen.

Ink Pen Jokes

Here is a list of funny ink pen jokes and even better ink pen puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A pen maker's joke I asked the ink drop why it looked so sad.
    He said his mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long her sentence would be.
  • Why was the ink drop crying? Because his dad was in the pen
  • Did you hear they outlawed ink??? Now it's doing a long sentence in the pen.
  • Boy to farmer "Mr. Famer, why do you call your Pig INK?"
    Mr Farmer says "because I keep him in a pen."
  • What do you call a pen that has run out of ink? a has-pen
  • Why was the baby ink drop crying? His mom was in the pen, and didn't know how long her sentence was.
  • Q: Why did the ink pots cry?
    A: Their mother was in the pen doing a long sentence.
  • No one really expected my world language teacher to be so good at writing with a felt pen... No one expects the Spanish Ink -precision
  • Why was the bottle of ink so depressed? Because his dad was in the pen.. and he didn't know how long his sentence would be.
  • Why were the ink blots crying? Their dad was in the pen.

Printer Ink Jokes

Here is a list of funny printer ink jokes and even better printer ink puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Unexpected She: Why is your shirt smudged with ink blots?
    He: I refilled a printer cartridge at work today.
    Octopus under their bed: *whispers* Tell her about us, you chicken.
  • Why did the printer have wet ink? Because it couldn't control P
  • Breaking News: PIRATES STOPPED STEALING OIL TANKERS They switched to stealing tankers filled with printer ink...
  • I just want to make more money But unfortunately my printer ran out of ink.
  • What's the difference between Santa Clause, Kim Jong Un, and 34 ounces of printer ink? One's a deer leader, one is a Dear Leader, and the other is a dear liter.
  • Why are printers so dumb? Because they have such a low ink quotient
  • Scientists have found a chemical in m**... that can be used to develop a cheap printer ink. The first *s**...* cartridges ship in early 2018.
  • How does the Idiot get the printer to work during a b**...? He simply refills the ink cartridge.

Invisible Ink Jokes

Here is a list of funny invisible ink jokes and even better invisible ink puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Went to the hospital after accidentally drinking invisible ink It took forever before the doctor could see me
  • Yesterday, I drank a bottle of invisible ink. I was in the hospital all night waiting to be seen
  • I'm in the Emergency Dept at the hospital because I swallowed invisible ink. I'm waiting for someone to see me.
  • My son today accidentally drank invisible ink. I'm sat with him in the emergency room waiting to be seen.
  • Did you hear about the author who writes using invisible ink? Here's a list of his books:
  • How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink? When your writing becomes visible.

Ink Blot Jokes

Here is a list of funny ink blot jokes and even better ink blot puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Therapist: [holding ink blot] what do you see? Me: A sad lonely man wasting his life.
    Therapist: [crying a little] I meant on the picture.
  • Why was the blot of ink so sad? It's mother was in the pen and it didn't know how long the sentence was.
  • therapist: describe this picture me: that's my father yelling at me
    therapist: and this one
    me: you having s**... with my wife
    therapist: and this one
    me: aren't these normally ink blots

Squid Ink Jokes

Here is a list of funny squid ink jokes and even better squid ink puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a squid that plays with itself? An Ink-u-bater
  • Have you heard about the squid that's really good at his job? The manager says he's an ink-redible employee.
  • Where does squid ink pasta live? In the Spaghetto
  • Who robs banks and squirts ink?
    Billy the Squid.
  • What do you call a squid that throws up speaks 2 languages and tags buildings? Bile ink wall

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about ink can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of ink puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Cheerful Fun Ink Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

What funny jokes about ink you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean crayon jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make ink prank.

If water with ice is iced water...

... milk with ice is iced milk, and tea with ice is iced tea, what's ink with ice in it?
>!(This one works better out loud. If you don't get it, maybe say the answer out loud to someone you know and they'll probably agree even though they haven't heard the lead in.)!<

My tattoo removal specialist, Dr Pablo, confessed to me recently that he had committed dozens of crimes yet has never been caught.

"How on earth are you a free man?" I asked him.
"Nobody expects the Spanish ink physician" he said.

Why is ink an unwise investment?

Because it's a dyeing industry.
- This is too obvious a joke to be original, but it came to me during my econ class, and so it's original to me!

We did our company Christmas party online this year and my coworkers were surprised at my incredibly detailed tattoo. They refused to believe me when I told them it was done in Madrid, before the pandemic...

Nobody expected the Spanish ink precision...

The ink blot test

This guy is with his psychiatrist and the psychiatrist decides to give him a Rorschach ink blot test.
The psychiatrist shows him the first ink blot.
The guy says "That's a man and a woman having s**...".
The psychiatrist shows him the second ink blot
The guy says "That's a man and two women having o**... s**...".
Same thing happens through the whole test. EVERY ink blot, in his mind, has something to do with s**....
At the end of the test the Psychiatrist looks at the guy and says "I know your problem. You're a s**... MANIAC"!
The guy looks at him and says "ME??? YOU'RE the one showing all the dirty pictures"!

Many people who go to Spain to get tattoos are surprised at how skilled the tattoo artists are.

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

When people ask me where I got my well drawn tattoo, their always suprised when I say i got it in Spain.

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.

A child tells her mother "Daddy says he needs to borrow your typewriter"...

The woman smiles, knowing this is their secret code for s**..., but knowing she is on her period, tells her daughter "Tell Daddy that my typewriter only has red ink right now." So the child goes to tell her father.
The next day, the mother tells her child, "Tell Daddy he can use my typewriter now." When the child comes back, she tells her mother. "Daddy said he borrowed the neighbors typewriter."

I accidentally drank a bottle of ink.

The doctor says I'll be fine, but I feel as though I've dyed inside.

I needed to do the laundry, but then I realized I was out of detergent,

so I went to write a shopping list and realized how unorganized the junk drawer was, and started checking pens for ink. When I went to toss all the junk, I saw that the trash was full but before I took it out I wanted to get rid of old food in the fridge. That's when I realized a juice jug had leaked so I needed to clean it up but when I went to grab a rag, I saw that the pantry closet was a nightmare so I started organizing it.
And that's how I ended up on the floor looking at my old photo albums from 1990s and not doing laundry.

Do you know why newspapers don't print the pictures of all criminals?

They would run out of black ink

Did you hear that Rudy Giuliani has proof of fake ballots and fraud? He says he found a whole stack of 'em.

Yeah, and he's going to be turning them in soon. He just finished printing them, and is waiting for the ink to dry.

Why did Shakespeare write only in ink?

Because the pencils were confused 2B or not 2B.

I took a sip of what appears to be some sort of poisonous ink...

I dyed a little inside..

Did you hear about the magic pen that God gave Joseph Smith to write the Book of m**...?

Every time Joe wrote something made up, the pen would leave ink on the page.

If a women pays for the ink on her arm with the b**... on her chest

Is that t**... for tat?

Got arrested today and the cops said they needed to take my fingerprints and put them on file. But when we got to the station, the sergeant said they'd run out of fingerprint ink.

So they just asked for 6 digit passcode instead.
I think they're trying to PIN something on me.

Disappearing ink

I accidently drank a bottle of disappearing ink....
Now I'm in the ER waiting to be seen

Mike wazowski opens up a tattoo shop

Called Monsters Ink

A guy goes to see a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist shows him an ink blot picture and asks him to say the first thing that he thinks of, to which he replies, "s**...." He shows him another and again he replies, "s**...." This continues through the whole set and every time he replies, "s**...." The psychiatrist is dismayed by this and tells the patient that his problem is that he is obsessed with s**.... "I'm obsessed with s**...?" he replies indignantly, "You're the one with the dirty pictures!"

Did you hear about the tattoo artist offering free ink for lap dances?

It was t**... for Tat

How did the ink kill itself?

I don't know, he just dyed

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance.
I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

I like people who have ink ribbon.

They're just my type.

Octopus 1: "What should I do if I can't swim?"

Octopus 2: "Use ink if you can't float"

People are often really surprised by the quality of tattoos available in Spain.

No one expects the Spanish ink precision.

The police are using s**... now as a way of fingerprinting people.

I don't know what was wrong with the old ink pad myself.
Makes me chuckle every time, name that sitcom.

A therapist holds up an ink picture...

Therapist: What do you see?
Me: A poor man with no future in life
Therapist:(Letting out a tear) I mean on the picture

What is an octopus's favorite band?

Ink Floyd
I'm so sorry

jokes about ink

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these ink jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.