Injected Jokes
31 injected jokes and hilarious injected puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about injected that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Injected Short Jokes
Short injected jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The injected humour may include short laced jokes also.
- The woman who injected her 8-year old daughter with botox for beauty pageants has lost custody. The child didn't look surprised.
- I don't need to inject disinfectant I'm still protected by that Tide pod I ate two years ago.
- I once tried to make a joke about a botched lethal injection... ...but the execution failed.
- The Mrs just said Gavin from Autoglass came round & injected special resin into her crack. I'm not normally suspicious but she hasn't got a car
- Why aren't the people eating laundry soap injecting it instead? Seems like it'd be a little Tidier
- my brother and i are totally failing at reaching out to women's groups to let them know of new vaccine availability not one response to our invitation to a johnson & johnson injection
- What does a modern excutioner, with a sense of humor do, before injecting lethal injection? \- Disinfect the arm, to prevent infection.
- A doctor fills a syringe with glitter and injects the patient. "Whats that?" asks the patient.
The doctor replies "An esthetic." - I thought my doctor was helping me with these lumbar injections... But come to find out, he was just stabbing me in the back.
- I'm starting a business that is half bowling alley and half safe injection site. It's going to be called "Pins & Needles".
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Injected One Liners
Which injected one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with injected? I can suggest the ones about injured and infected.
- Trump recommends injections with disinfectant to save thousands True if he does it first.
- I used to inject bleach, but not anymore. I'm clean now.
- What do you call a yellow doctor that gives you a free injection? A honey bee.
- Do you know what the scientific term is for injecting disinfectant? Embalming
- Statistically... 9 out of 10 injections are in vein.
- If Columbo was a doctor what would his catchphrase be? Just one more injection...
- What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats? Claude.
- If coronavirus doesn't get you, injecting bleach might! My have the tides turned
- Viruses inject their genetic materials into organisms. It's the same way with guys.
- I've started injecting THC into my beef The steaks have never been higher
- Inject some Cillit Bang and a hour on a sun-bed and boom the virus is gone
- Did you hear about the guy who injected mushroom soup in his arm? He got cepspis.
- Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
- Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
- Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
Gather Around for Heartwarming Injected Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about injected you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean inflated jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make injected pranks.
A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?" The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror...
The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."
Boy scout: Sir, I found a snake, is it poisonous?
Me: No little one, this snake isn't poisonous at all
*Snake bites boy and boy immediately starts to spasm and foam at the mouth, leaving the other kids watching, horrified*
Me: However, this snake is venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Let's get it right next time lads
No, that snake's not poisonous at all.
A boy scout says to his scout leader, Sir, is this snake poisonous?
The scout leader says, No, that snake's not poisonous at all.
So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.
The scout leader says, But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's this new drug named Jesus
I've heard of a lot of people injecting it but I've started taking it o**....
I'd never take the lords name in vein
There was a farmer who grew watermelons...
He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his water melon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide." The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read, "Now there are two!!!"
A joke my dad just sent me about vaccinations
Hi, it happened yesterday! And this is serious!
A friend had his 2nd injection of the vaccine at the vaccination center and began to have blurred vision the whole way home.
When he got home, he called the vaccination center for advice and to ask if he should go see a doctor, or be hospitalized.
Vaccination center told him to come back - and collect his glasses.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I thought I had Covid 19 so I decided to give it a go and I injected myself with bleach...
Surprisingly I'm all white now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump just suggested that injecting sanitizers like bleach might have a cleansing effect on the body
I think medical research would agree that injecting bleach definitely cures stupidity.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I always get nervous before injections so I shut my eyes.
I usually end up stabbing the chair.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How was the tree executed?
Leafal injection
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I snorted coke and m**..., smoked four blunts, and injected h**... today...
...and this guy at the auction house is STILL saying im not the highest bidder.
