Initialism Jokes
107 initialism jokes and hilarious initialism puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about initialism that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Initialism Short Jokes
Short initialism jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The initialism humour may include short jokes also.
- I did an ancestry.com family history today and found out that my great grandfather helped rosa Parks initiate the civil rights movement He was the guy who said, "Get up, that's my seat."
- God initially planned to use wasps to pollinate flowers. But in the end, he went with plan Bee.
- why do monarchs feel so important? Because small changes in their initial conditions can lead to large-scale and unpredictable variation in the future state of the system.
- Almost no one knows what the initials T and S stand for in T.S. Eliot's name. It's Top Secret.
- Initially the US was way behind other countries in COVID-19 cases. Little did those countries know, the US had a Trump card.
- 80% of Swedish nationals report enjoying the lockdown despite having initially rejecting it. They say it makes them more productive. Personally, I think it's just a case of Stuckhome syndrome.
- Two weeks ago I got a job in a photographers dark room. After an initial negative review, today my boss told me my talent is developing.
- Whenever I see some initials carved into a tree with some hearts, I also think it's romantic. Two lovers on a date in the wood and one of them carrying a knife for some reason.
- Did you hear about the child who's parents gave him 10 names? Did you hear about the child whose parents gave him 10 names? He struggled initially.
- I was initially surprised upon reading that rishi sunak’s wife is a non-dom because I certainly didn’t have her husband down as a dom.
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Initialism One Liners
Which initialism one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with initialism? I can suggest the ones about and .
- My friends say I never take the initiative. I wish they'd just stop being my friends.
- I initially refused my vaccine however it ended up being in vein.
- What do the initials D.S.A.U stand for ? United States Dyslexic Association
- I initially wanted to make a joke about overflow errors... But that's a bit too much.
- What's Owen Wilson's initial? (In Owen Wilson's voice) OW.
- What mantra do Hindus initiate on the 25th of December? Hari Kristmas.
- What do the initials I.N.R.I. on a crucifix mean? I'm Nailed Right In.
- What's the final step before a sorority girl gets initiated? Basic Training
- LPT:Use your initials instead of full name The results will be acronymical!
- A man escapes from prison. What are his initials? S. K. P.
- When asked why he turned in the doctor who initialed his patient He used Comic Sans
- Why would you want to know the initial value of Y? Y naught?
- Girl, are your initials M.S.G.? 'cause all I see is u -- mami.
- How do you increase London Dispersion Forces? By initiating Brexit.
- What are the initial of a 40 year old Engineer that can't move? W.D
Initialism Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about initialism you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make initialism pranks.
A man is angry because he has it in his head that someone stole his wallet. He walks into a church to steal someone else's wallet, but he has a change of heart during the service. He confesses to the priest afterwards about what his intentions had initially been. The priest asks, "What made you change your mind?" The man says, "In your sermon on the Ten Commandments when you got to 'Thou shall not commit adultery,' I remembered where I left my wallet!"
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-.
These are also Chuck Norris' initials.
This is not a coincidence.
A man's fence is broken and he neess to hire someone to fix it
So he goes online to find someone to fix his fence for him but he is unsatisfied with their prices, that is until he finds a Buddhist monk who will do it for free.
He is initially surprised by this and assumes it might be a fake listing, but since it's free he feels like he has nothing to lose so he hires him.
Sure enough a few days later the monk shows up with a toolkit in hand, the man shows the monk that his fence has been ripped out of the ground and that he needs to replace it.
About an hour later the monk walks in and tells the man he is finished, and when the man goes outside he sees that the fence is perfect, thinking he can't just tell the monk to leave after doing such a great job for free he invites the monk inside for a cup of coffee.
The man then starts talking to the monk, "It surprised me to see a monk offering services for fence repair, why do you do it?" he asked
the monk replied "Religious reasons."
The man then says "I don't know much about Buddhism, why do you need to repair fences?"
"Because" the monk replied, "You would be surprised at the amount of karma you get for reposting."
A tourist while passing a little shop noticed the name inscribed as A. Swindler- Proprietor upon its glass window.
Curious about the rather amusing name, the tourist went inside the store and asked the shopkeeper would it not be better to use the latter's first name instead of his initial.
The shopkeeper shook his head and said "My name is Adam".
A priest and a rabbi walk initially a bar.
The priest turns to the rabbi and says, "Hey, did ya hear the one about us doing this?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Irish Joke, that I did not initially get. I am Irish as well...
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
None
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man takes his sick wife to a doctor..
The doctor after making initial observations, says - 'Sir, your wife doesn't look so good'. To which the man replies, 'Yea, but she gives great head'.
I bought a backpack that was field tested...
...They didn't say anything about how well it performed on the test, but I was glad that they showed some initiative.
As a mark of respect to Lou Reed
I have had his initials inscribed on my headphones.
-Daft Limmy
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We all should boycott Subway for joining Michelle Obama's Let's Move initiative. In fact, we should march to the streets!
Oh wait...
Russian referendum.
Russia initiates a referendum in Crimea about returning Crimea back to Russia. Ukraine initiates a referendum about returning Kaliningrad to Germany, Sakhalin and the Kuril Islands to Japan, Kazan - to Tatar, Karelia - to Finland, Siberia to Yakuts, and everything situated east from Ural mountains - to ingenious people.
The U.N. initiates a poll...
The United Nations initiated a poll with the request, "Please tell us your honest opinion about the lack of food in the rest of the world."
The poll was a total failure.
The Russians did not understand "Please". The Italians did not know the word "honest". The Chinese did not know what an "opinion" was. The Europeans did not know "lack", while the Africans did not know "food". Finally, the Americans didn't know anything about the "rest of the world".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Rorschach Test
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office for his first appointment. After the initial interview, the shrink decides to ease the man into the process with a simple inkblot test. After a few minutes, however, the shrink calls a halt.
"I think its fairly clear at this point that we're dealing with an Oedipus Complex." says the shrink.
"*I'VE* got an Oedipus Complex?!?" the man bursts out, "*You're* the one with all these pictures of my parents having s**...!"
"What is inflation?" asked the CA's wife
"Initially you were 36-24-36, and now you're 48-40-48. So technically, you have more than you had earlier, but your value is less than earlier. THIS IS INFLATION"
Economics is not so difficult if we have the right examples.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does the electron say to the resistor?
Ohm my god you're impeding me. *initiate knee slap
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A newly married Deaf couple..
Soon realize that initiating s**... in the dark is quite difficult. The wife decides that if she wants to have s**... she will s**... him once so he knows. He replies, "and if you don't want to have s**... then s**... me fifty times".
Hu Inxiang Maotsi, a Chinese immigrant to the US, had to shorten his name so that people would be able to pronounce it properly. He chose to initialize his name. So now, if you ask him who he is, he'll say "I am Hu IM."
A man walks into a bar
His name is Nathan Abe (initials NA) and he is firefighter, a second later a arsonist girl named Clair Laurence (initials CL)walks into the bar. The two start to hit it off. Eventually they go home together, the next day the mans mom calls. She asks about love life. He says, "its kind of ironic bond".
Did you know Canada was initially spelled Cnd?
But when they pronounced it, the word came out "C-eh" "N-eh" "D-eh"
A 10 years old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia courtroom in Pennsylvania yesterday
.... when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life his family, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia 76ers whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An older woman's husband dies during a b**... session.
She decides to do something crazy with her life, and buys a Harley, gets a few tattoos, and goes out in search of the h**...'s Angels.
When she finds them they give her an initiation test.
"You ever killed a man?" They ask.
"Yep" she says. "Killed my husband."
"You ever steal anything?" They ask.
"Oh all the time." She replies.
"You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
"Sure have, and strung up by my n**...".
After the initial energy surrounding lithium's arrest...
Charges were dropped, due to lack of connection.
I just got an email from St. Peter saying i would need to front some initial costs to get into heaven
I feel like this whole "phisher of men" thing is getting a little out of hand
Why is Charles Umar Terrence-Elliott Able to get so many dates?
People always think he's cute, initially.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The White House Announced A New Environmental Initiative This Morning
They will now recycle the same b**... everyday instead of buying it fresh.
My boss caught me browsing the internet and you'll never believe what happened next.
He praised me for taking initiative. I work at BuzzFeed.
I hear Jian Ghomeshie found a new gig...
Training staff at United in the new Customer Relations initiative.
A busload of Fat Camp initiates careened off course one day....
It was an estimated thousands of pounds worth of damage.
TIL of shakira's initiative to introduce computers to Brazil to counter deceit by local government bodies.
Asked to comment, she said "chips don't lie".
X-Men
It's probably a good thing Charles Xavier did not use his first initial for his band of mutant misfits.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do 1%ers initiate s**...?
If you would mind de-regulating my access, I'd love to stimulate your private sector!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the surgeon who branded his initials on a patient's o**...?
Apparently it was an inside joke
Can you imagine referring to philosophers by their first initial and last name?
Because I Kant.
Couple's initials carved on a tree is cute and all but
I think it's weird how many people bring knives on a date ... in a forest
So I was talking to my friend about this new Jewish state...
He didn't believe me when I initially told him,
so I said "Yeah man, Israel."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIFU by asking my wife to initiate s**...
I should probably have been more specific but I hear my mate dave had a great time.
An orchard was stripped of all its apples overnight.
Police say their initial investigations have proved fruitless.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sometimes my girlfriend takes her sleeping pill, passes out and initiates s**....
We call it the reverse Cosby.
Trump was obviously joking when he said Space Force
He meant Strategic Defense Initiative Organization Again
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[Religion/Political] What's same between h**... and Initial D?
Gas Gas Gas
The difference is the fuel/air mixture.
Superman initially flew with his right arm outstretched and his left hand at his hip. Later he started flying with both arms out.
He switched from manual to auto.
My stock portfolio has tripled in value this year
From an initial value of 2 bitcoins, it is now worth 6 bitcoins.
A man named Albert Smith once wrote in a hotel visitors book his initials A.S.
Somebody wrote underneath two-thirds the truth
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've written a sitcom
Boy meets girl
They initially hate each other but they end up in bed together
It's called the r**...
Donald Trump has finally passed the initiation of being a real Republican
He's now in some hot water due to the love a male stripper has for him.
I'm in a relationship with Siri, and something doesn't feel right
it's always me initiating the conversation.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Initials reports are in on how Michael Jackson died....
He got food poisoning from eating a 9 year old w**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear the Russians have began funding and creating technology to compromise and undermine the USA's recent Central American initiatives?
They have created the ladder
Did you hear about the Republicans' new initiative to buy glasses for minorities?
They're calling it "ethnic lensing."
A government run initiative to restore the male geese population is getting a lot of media attention...
Critics are referring to it as proper gander.
The reason J.K. Rowling changes her characters was in front of us all along
Her first two initials are 'J.K.' which stands for 'Just Kidding'.
A Couple Goes to a Chinese Restaurant...
They're feeling hungry but don't want to gorge themselves on appetizers, so when the waiter takes their initial order they ask for water and some light dumplings.
After some time, they notice that the room seems a bit darker. The waiter comes back for refills and asks How is everything?
The man replies Well, the atmosphere is nice but why isn't our appetizer here yet?
The waiter responds What appetizer? You only said you wanted the light dim sum!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Not properly prescripted
- Granny, have you seen my pills? They are oval shaped with the initials "l**..." engraved on 'em.
- F*c**... them, darling! Can't you see there is a dragon in our kitchen?!
A toothbrush journey in India
Very real story...,,
A Dentist was conducting a global survey-
*"How long do you use your Toothbrush...?"*
Chinese:
"3 months...!"
American:
"1 month...!!"
Indian:
"There is no fixed time limit doctor, it may be years...!!! Initially we use it for *brushing* our teeth; then we use it for *dying our hair, cleaning comb, cleaning ornaments, cleaning machine parts of our vehicles, cleaning the dirt in between two tiles in bathroom etc etc*. Then when there are no bristles left on the brush, still we do not throw it doctor. we start using it for pushing drawstings in our Pajamas & Petticoats!
Moses was walking down the street when he bumped into George W. Bush.
Moses was walking down the street when he bumped into George W. Bush. Hello, Bush said. Nice weather we're having, huh? Moses took one look at the President, turned, and ran in the other direction.
The next day Moses was walking down the same street and there was Bush. Again he tried to initiate a conversation. Again Moses turned and ran away.
Bush was tired of this bizarre treatment, so the next time Moses ran away from him, Bush followed. When he caught up, he asked Moses what was wrong.
Moses said, The last time I talked to a bush I spent 40 years in the desert.
Interviewer: Do you have any question about the job that you are applying for?
Applicant: How much is the salary?
Interviewer: Initially $40,000. Later it could go up to $80,000
Applicant: I will start later then.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are D&D nerds better in bed?
Because they always take initiative in the roleplay.
The first 5G cell phone mast in town is put up
Suddenly, all sorts of people develop medical conditions. A citizens' initiative against the mast is formed. A public hearing is organized with the mayor and representatives of the telecom company. The people bring forward all the ailments they suffer from since the mast was erected.
The telecom technician replies: "For God's sake, what will be going on when we then put the mast into operation?"
One day, a lawyer finds a genie's lamp.
The lawyer rubs the lamp, and the genie comes out.
"You have three wishes," the genie says. "The only rule is that you can't wish for more wishes."
After thinking for a while, the lawyer finally says, "I wish the word *splork* were interchangeable with the word *wish*. Next, I wish your initial injunction pertained only to the concept of wishing paired with the particular word *wish* as opposed to the concept itself, which you were merely signifying with that word. Aaaaand I splork for infinite splorks."
The genie sighs and says, "This is why nobody likes lawyers."
Corona is like your wife
Initially you try to control it, but then you realise you can't and then try to live with it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus.
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with v**... on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti.
Initially I was proud of my participation in a trial for cloning humans...
...but now, I don't think I can live with myself.
My wife bought me a 'Good Luck' bracelet with my initials on it before I went into hospital for some surgery.
I think there must have been a misprint at the manufacturers,
because my initials are 'RND' and this one said 'DNR'.
Who was the skeptical man who dressed up as a woman to spy on the Wright Brothers initial flight test?
Mrs. Doubtflyer