Infront Jokes
31 infront jokes and hilarious infront puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about infront that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Infront Short Jokes
Short infront jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The infront humour may include short bulge jokes also.
- As I stood infront of the mirror, combing my hair to one side, I couldn't help but shed a tear. Alas, parting is such sweet sorrow.
- Chinese Proverb: Man who run infront of car get tired... Man who run behind car get exhausted
- Whats the difference between a dead dog on the side of the road, and a dead politician on the side of the road? The skid marks infront of the dog.
- On my way to work this morning someone on their phone pulled out infront of me I almost dropped my razor into my cornflakes
- I saw a couple guys selling contraband Irish liquor infront of a police station... I thought: "That's a whiskey buisness"
- Cringe takes over the World When Iphone X's Face ID fails infront of millions of people...
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Infront One Liners
Which infront one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with infront? I can suggest the ones about corner and bikers.
- Q: What is infront of the Woman, YET, at the back of the Cow? A: "W" :)
- Derry is the only word in the dictionary with 6 silent letters infront of it .
- Why can you lie infront of short people without consequences? It goes over their heads.
- How do you know a blonde has used your computer? There is cheese infront of the mouse.
Entertaining Infront Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about infront you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean backseat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make infront pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Comedian Jeff Dunham has been accused of s**... assault
After allegations from his coworkers saying that he's been f**... them for decades.
Just look up his Youtube channel if you want to see evidence of this a**.... Millions have just sat by and watched while these poor souls suffered through tremendous pain right in-front of them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Honey, I think I'm ugly...."
So I pulled her infront of a mirror, stood right next to her and said:
"Darling, I mean look a that s**... smile, that beautiful hair and those eyes....Just wow. No wonder you feel ugly next to me!"
A man goes to the Doctor
*Guy*: Doctor, My girlfriend is
pregnant but we always used double
protection. Then, how is it possible?
*Doctor*: Let me tell you a story to make you realize that it is possible.
"There was a Hunter who always carried a
Gun wherever he went.
One day, he took his Umbrella instead of his
Gun and went out.
A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him.
In order to scare the Lion, the hunter used the Umbrella like a
Gun and shot the Lion, the Lion collapsed & died!
*Guy*:This is totally Nonsense!!
"Someone else must
have shot the Lion"
*Doctor*: Good!! You understood the Story. Next patient please... .
Note: My friend just told me this joke so I'm not sure if it's been here before
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A genie appears infront of a man...
And tells him that he can have 3 wishes, but his ex wife will get double anything he asks for.
The man thinks and says "I wish for a trillion dollars"
"It is done. Now your ex also has 2 trillion dollars."
"I wish for the biggest mansion in the world with everything that comes with it, servants, helicopters, the works"
"It is done. Your ex now also has 2 mansions."
The man nods his head and then says "I wish I was beaten half to death"
Doctor's consultation.
Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible?
Doctor : Let me tell you a story: "There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!
Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion..
Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please..
A drunk man is shouting "twenty five" while
Looking at the open manhole infront of him....
Another man comes seeing the drunk man shouting
"Twenty five" again and again while looking inside the open manhole.he asks why he is doing that...
Drunk man doesn't replies....
He keeps shouting "twenty five" while ignoring what other man says.
Man gets curious whats inside manhole.he leans over to see whats in. But the drunk man kicks him inside the manhole....
Drunk man after that..." Twenty six......"
Mustapha is walking with his wife.
Hassan his friend notices that his wife is walking in front of him and asks: "You know the koran says that the man should walk infront of the wife"? Mustapha:" I am aware what the koran says but this is a minefield".
A guy says to his friend...
My wife have died and I've been trying to cry infront of her family but just can't, his friend tells him try imagining her coming back to life....
Word on the street he's been crying for 2 days now
You're in a car headed North.
You see a Red Fire Engine, to your right.
And a Fence to your left.
There's a Horse Infront of you
And a Helicopter behind you.
What do you do?
A) Put your drink down. And carefully get off the Merry-Go-Round...
One kid always embarrasses his mum...
the young boy was too loud, whenever he wanted to be taken to the toilet he shout out to his mum inappropriately "Mum I wanna pee". The mother got embarrassed everytime he said that specially infront of friends or family, so she taught him to use the word "whisper" instead of "pee".
Once in a family meeting...
kid shouts: I wanna whisper
the grandfather replied: Come whisper in my ears son.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just punched an old bearded fat guy at the mall..
I passed infront of him and he happily looked at me and called me a "h**..." 3 times.
So rude!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Alcoholic,an Obese Guy and a j**... find themselves infront of Pearly Gates
So St.Peter says he can grant them each one wish in heaven.
The Alcoholic wishes for a neverending fountain of the most tastefull alcoholic drink known to humanity,and he is transported to heaven,and there it was,made out of pure gold,smelling like Channel 5 and tasting ljke pure ecstasy.
The Obese Guy wishes for a neverending burger,and there it fell right into his hand,it looked like it was made by god himself,and after tasting it he forgot about all other food.
So the j**... goes up to St.Peter and asks him:Mann can you lend me a dolla or two
A Bulgarian goes to the doctor
A Bulgarian goes to the doctor for a checkup. He enters the room, hangs his coat and sits infront of the doctor.
-When was the last time you had an examination made by a doctor? -asked the doctor.
-I don't know. Maybe 20 years ago.
-Do you drink?
-Yes. I drink beer for kidneys, and white wine for digestion. If I have low pressure I drink red wine and if I have high one I drink mastika. If I suffer from sore throath I drink rakija.
-What about water? - asked the doctor, amazed.
-Water... I haven't suffered from that yet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A wife and her lover laying in her bed
Then they suddenly hear steps outside of the room. "Quickly, get out! That's my husband" she says and opens the window. The lover climbs out and stays outside in the rain, not knowing what to do for a while. Eventually a group of joggers comes into sight. Trying not to look akwardly standing n**... infront of a window he decides to join them.
"So, do you, ahm, always jog n**..., sir?" one of the group asks. "Yes," the lover replies. "With a c**... on, too?" - "No" he says after a brief moment. "Only when it's raining."
What is wrong with the soup?
A man is sitting at his table in the hotel dining room with a bowl of soup in-front of him. He calls the waiter over and asks him to taste the soup.
The waiter said; 'Is it something wrong with the soup?'
The man said; 'Just taste the soup!'
The waiter said; ' You haven't even touched the soup so how do you know it is something wrong with it?'
The man said; ' JUST TASTE THE BLXXDING SOUP WILL YHAA!'
The waiter said; 'OK THEN.......Where is the Spoon?'
The man Said; 'Aha!'
:) It is a really old post-war joke, but I thought it was worth sharing.
Two black eyes
A man walks into a bar and sits down with his buddies. His buddies look up at him a notice that he now has two black eyes that he didnt have earlier. So they ask him what happened.
The man explains " well i was out at the mall today and i was riding up the escalator you see, and there was a woman up infront of me. I looked her over and noticed that her skirt was visibly stuck in her buttcrack. So me, trying to be a nice guy i reach up and pulled it out for her. She turned around lookin' awful upset and punched me square in my left eye."
The guys all laugh, but then one asks. "well how did you get the other black eye?"
The man explains "well i figured if she was so mad that i pulled her skirt out, that maybe she wanted it there. So i poked my finger in there to put it back."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three vampires walk into a vampiric bar...
... they all sit down at the bar and the first vampire says, " I'll take a shot of O-", the bartender gives him his shot
"I'll take a cup of AB+ please" says the second vampire, the bartender gives him his blood and turns to the third vampire
"what do ya want?" asks the bartender
"can I get a cup of hot water?" says the third vampire. The bartender gives him a confused look but gets him his hot water and sets it infront of him
"what are ya gonna do with the water" asks the bartender.
The third vampire pulls out a used t**... and says, "I'm making tea"
