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Information Management Jokes

16 information management jokes and hilarious information management puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about information management that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Information Management Short Jokes

Short information management jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The information management humour may include short operations management jokes also.

  1. Me: Dad, How did you guys manage without Whatsapp & Facebook? My Dad: We used to keep useless information to ourselves.
  2. The human cannonball informs the circus manager that he plans to retire at the end of season. The distraught manager protests "Where am I going to find another employee of your caliber?"
  3. A problem at the restaurant Waiter!" shouted the furious diner. "How dare you serve me this! There's a TWIG in my soup!"
    "My apologies," said the waiter. "I'll inform the branch manager."
  4. After the war, an italian soldier is decorated for not giving informations to the enemy, while he was captured. When asked how did he managed, he said: I had my hands tied.

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Information Management Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about information management you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean business management jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make information management pranks.

A man goes ice fishing...

He takes out his ice pick and begins to hack away. Suddenly, he hears a booming voice from above say, "There are no fish there."
He moves to a new spot and begins again. Again comes the voice, There are no fish there either."
He tries a third spot, and again the voice informs him, "Not there either."
Frightened, the man calls out, "Is that you, God?"
"No," the voice booms, "I'm the rink manager."

man in a hot air balloon

A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he's lost. He lowers the balloon, spots a man down below and shouts, "Can you help me? I promised a friend I'd meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon hovering 30 feet above this field, which is at 42 degrees N. latitude and 60 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but your information is useless and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager"
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. And the fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now it's somehow my fault."

A farmer who knows a little bit of english wants his son to study at an english school.

One day he takes his son to a local english school for admission. A teacher gives him a form to fill in.He goes on filling the form and despite his bad english he manages to fill all the informations correctly. The last thing asked was to provide his son's
mother tongue. He fills with confidence "very long".

the blind con

a blind man goes into a restaurant with an american bull terrier. The manager remonstrated with him about the dog he asked what was wrong he was informed that a bull terrier was not a guide dog. He started to go crazy shouting that the b**... that sold him it told him it was a Labrador.

"You must be an engineer"

A man is flying solo in a hot air balloon and he discovers that he is lost. He lowers altitude until he can see a guy walking through a field.
He says to the guy, "Hey, where am I"?
The guy replies, "You are in a hot air balloon about 8 feet above farmer Jack's field."
The balloon guy says, "You must be an engineer. Because you correctly answered my question but it was completely unhelpful for my situation.
The guy on the ground says, "You are right I am an engineer. And you must be a manager. Because I gave you exactly the information that you asked for and yet somehow I am now to blame for your negligent situation."

Information Technology cannibals

Five cannibals get selected as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and if you are hungry, you can go to the company cafeteria for something to eat. So don't bother the other employees". The cannibals promise not to bother the other employees.
Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. However, one of our cleaners has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals deny any knowledge of the missing cleaner.
After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which one of you idiots ate the cleaner?"
A hand rise hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Managers, and Project Managers so no-one would notice anything. Why you just had to go and eat the cleaner?!"

Difference between I.T and management

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he's lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, Excuse me, can you tell me where I am? The man below says: Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field. You must work in Information Technology, says the balloonist. I do replies the man. How did you know? Well, says the balloonist, everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone. The man below replies, You must work in management. I do, replies the balloonist, But how'd you know? Well , says the man, you don't know where you are or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault.

Ain't that the truth

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he's lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

The president of the university is asked a question about credible sources

President :"Its such an important thing, and it does not make sense for everyone to have to verify the credibility of the source and search for it every time its needed. So what I propose is we start collections of credible sources and hire some people to manage it. Whenever you wanted to get information on a subject you would just ask one of those people and they would help you get it."
Reporter: "Would you consider expanding the campus library?"
President: "No way, its a waste of space and money."

Manager at work told me this one the other day. This is for all my fellow engineers!

A man is flying a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "Yes, You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. Latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude".
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager."
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going, You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."

You must be in management!

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: "'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am".
The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude".

"You must be a technician." said the balloonist.
"I am" replied the man "how did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you have told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip with your talk."

The man below responded "You must be in management".
"I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the man "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fuc#ing fault

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost.


He reduces height and spots a man down below.
He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."