Influencers Jokes
96 influencers jokes and hilarious influencers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about influencers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Influencers Short Jokes
Short influencers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The influencers humour may include short jokes also.
- I don't understand all these jokes about mothers-in-law. Mine is sweet, supportive, and a great influence on me and my wife. I can't say anything bad about her.
- I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
- Why do Instagram influencers enjoy shopping at Walmart so much? They just can't get enough of the self-checkout.
- If I was a cop, I would write the word 'Influence' on a bridge, and pull over anyone that drives under it.
- What's the difference between a social media influencer and a philosophy major? The philosophy major needed a degree to be useless.
- Turns out that Roy Moore is having a bad influence on weather in Alabama. The temperatures are flirting with the teens this week.
- Growing up in the film industry, Harvey Weinstein was a huge influence for me. He really touched me.
- Today's Horoscope: "You are easily influenced by what you read and have the ability to make vague sentences somehow applicable to your own existence."
- How many influencers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 100, one to screw it in and 99 to say that they did.
- Mayday Mayday I need to prove to a French friend that the French language had zero influence on the English language.
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Influencers One Liners
Which influencers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with influencers? I can suggest the ones about and .
- What's the unit of measure for social influence? Instagrams
- The influencer was diagnosed with paranoia. He believed nobody was following him.
- Why don't influencer work in nuclear plants. Because they get paid just in exposure.
- What do you call the Asian influence in American Culture? An East infection
- What you call a person driving a car under the influence of laughing gas ? Madagascar
- Picasso greatly influenced sanitary napkin commercials. He also had a blue period.
- Why is Influencer Marketing called Influenza Marketing? Because it counts on going viral.
- I ran in to an old friend last week... I was arrested for driving under the influence
- Fear the influence of the Time Beings People will do the worst things just for them.
- What do you call a midget with 5k followers on Instagram? A Micro Influencer
- Who is the biggest "influencer" in the world? Vladimir Putin.
- Why is it so hard to influence dust particles? Because they exist in a vacuum.
- I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.
- How much does an influencer wheigh? One instagram
- Why did all the other virus' do what the cold told them to? Because he was the Influencer
Influencers Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about influencers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make influencers pranks.
A policeman sees a car weaving all over the road and hits his flashing lights.
He walks up to the driver's window and sees a good looking woman behind the wheel.
There is a strong smell liquor on her breath.
He says, "I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol."
She blows up the balloon and he walks it back to his patrol unit.
After a couple of minutes, he returns to her car and says,
"It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones."
She replies, "You mean it shows that, too?"
Chuck Norris was pulled over this past weekend....
...and was found to be driving over the influence.
Liam Neeson got pulled over on the weekend...
...and was found to be driving OVER the influence
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was h**...'s college thesis?
Influence of Jews on global warming
A generic science major and an english literature major walk into a bar and are asked by a mutual friend how to best evaluate a book.
I just wrote a joke: A generic science major and an english literature major walk into a bar and are asked by a mutual friend how to best evaluate a book.
The generic science major takes a few moments to think, then says, "Well, I would read up on the history of the book, process the literature within a few months (well enough to formulate some questions to ask participants that are likely to assess the book's content, influence, and perceived influence), then test a few of the relevant questions that the lit. search analysis generates. In some kind of controlled setting, obviously. You?"
The english literature major takes a shot, then says, "Uhhh... first I'd read it."
So Adam was lonely.
God asked Adam, "What's wrong?"
Adam replied, "I'm lonely."
So God said, "Adam, I will make you a partner. She will wash and cook and clean for you; she will listen to what you have to say and never interrupt you. She won't nag you about your actions and she will even bear your children. She will stay loyal to you and never be influenced by other men."
So Adam asked, "Well, what's his gonna cost me?"
"An arm and a leg," God replied.
Then Adam asked, "Well what can I get for a rib?"
Driving home very drunk
It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.
The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn't coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.
"Are you Mr. Johnson?" the asked? He admitted that he was.
"Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence?" Again, the man admitted that was he.
"And what did you do then," the troopers asked." The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed.
"Where is your car now?" the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage.
"May we see the car?" asked the troopers. The man answered, "Sure," and opened the garage.
Inside the garage was the state troopers car.
The mean, median, and mode walk into a Republican bar
The median says "Wow, this place us really skewed to the right! Me, though, I'm a centrist."
The mode was taller than everyone else and got the most numbers.
Meanwhile, the mean was overly influenced by outliers and got high off to the side.
A Canadian, an American, and a Pakistani are wandering through the desert
They're wandering along hoping to find some water or a ride out of the vast desert. As they trot along, the Canadian kicks a metal lamp that was buried in the sand. They pick it up and rub it, then out pops a genie.
The genie says, "since there are three men present I will grant you all one wish."
The Canadian quickly replies, " Good sir, if it's not too much trouble, I wish for Canada to thrive forever and always. May our lands be fertile, our hockey teams excellent, and our people even better." The genie nods his head and it is done.
The Pakistani insists on going next. He says, "Oh powerful djinn, I ask that you would surround the entire Muslim world with a wall so high that no western influence, soliders or bombs could corrupt or change our way of life. I pray that the Muslim people would be free to do as they wished forever and ever." The genie nods his head and it is done.
The American says, "fill his wall with water."
An evil wizard..
There was an evil wizard who hated mathematics. One day he decided that he would end math once and for all, by capturing the 10 digits, and locking the away forever in his secret prison. So he cast his spell, and all the digits, from 0 to 9 were under his influence. He put them in his magic sack and rode off to the prison. When he reached the prison, he opened the sack. To his horror, there were not 10, but 9 digits there. After searching thoroughly he realized that...it was the 1 that got away.
My wife was thinking of names for a new face cleanser she made.
She made a face cleanser that is influenced by Asian ingredients. It makes you stay young for way beyond your years so she was thinking about calling it Youth in Asia.
Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.
He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."
So apparently the 1918 Flu pandemic started in Italy...
The king of Italy was talking to Mussolini one day and said, "Benito, I think-a we need-a to get-a more-a influence-a in the world." It was a simple misunderstanding.
I've struggled for years to be above the influence...
But I've never been able to get that high
I want to give a shout out to liver
thanks buddy for keeping all those bad influences out of my life
NEVER drive while under the influence of alcohol...
Or at least wait until your mid 30s when you get good at it
'How to Win Friends & Influence People' is getting a sequel
How to lose friends and alienate people.
Why was the pencil s bad influence on the paper ?
His darkness rubbed off on him
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was the flat-chested college senior so well respected?
Because she was the head of the Itty-Bitty-t**...-Committee.
(their influence and power knows no mounds)
Drunk Golfer Kicked off the Green at Oak Hill Country Club
He was driving under the influence.
Tiger Woods was found driving under the influence
Before you know it he will be putting under the influence.
When interviewing the police officers involved in Tiger Woods' arrest, they told how they came to suspect he was under the influence.
"Simple" The officer responded. "It was the straightest drive he's had in years. We knew right away something was up."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told my friend across the hall that I was molested by a p**... under the influence of m**......
He said I had a "High, diddley h**... there, neighbor!"
I went to the bar today and asked the bartender to make me an Orange Cheeto...
"I've never heard of that," he replies.
"Well, nobody really knows what it's made of," I reply, "but I've heard it's heavily influenced by a White Russian."
Disney princesses usually have a good reputation.
But Sleeping Beauty is mistaken as a bad influence because she is always under a rest
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What institution has powerful old men who s**... assault people, has a sick inner circle of keeping people quite, influenced thousands of people, and has a black book?
Hollywood
In one Intensive care unit
people always died on the same bed at 11 am on a Sunday morning, regardless of their condition. This puzzled medical staff, so a group of doctors decided to observe the bed in secret and waited for the fateful hour. Some held crosses and prayer books to ward off evil influences, while the less superstitious had video cameras to catch the whole thing on tape. At the 11th hour, the door to the ward slowly opened, then a cleaner came in, disconnected the life support machine and plugged in a vacuum cleaner.
A reporter interviews a man
The man had lived under the highway for 20 years. The reporter asks, Has living here for so long influenced you in any way?
The man replies, NOOooo...., NOOooo.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Evidence found of millions of Facebook posts by foreign agents trying to influence US election. After finding out it was all the i**... immigrants the democrats quickly lost interest in pursuing it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a fat motivational speaker?
A Sphere of Influence.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I before E, except after C.
We ***feign agreeing***, but this ***foreign poltergeist*** of a rule is ***neither efficient*** nor smart- and ***therein*** lies the ***height*** of the issue. It's as if an ***ancient deity*** has influenced the ***zeitgeist*** of the people. We must remove the ***weight*** of this ***veil*** from ***their*** eyes, and ***forfeit*** the ***leisure*** of this ***weird*** and ***heinous*** rule from our ***science*** and ***leisure*** alike.
A granpda asks his just graduated grandchild
Grandpa: So what will you do for a living now that you earned your bachelor's degree?
Grandchild: I'm a model during the week, I'm a DJ in the weekends and an influencer by contract
Grandpa: I remember when I just graduated I was also unemployed son, be patient
A new movie about. Mozart's influence on Freddie Mercury is being made
It's called "The Magic Fruit"
My local golf club proposed a new rule that people are no longer allowed to play while drunk.
Yeah, I guess there was too many people driving under the influence.
Violent video games won't change our behaviour.
If people were influenced by video games, then the majority of Fakebook users would be farmers right now.
In some cultures, eunuchs historically have a lot of wealth and influence.
It is part of their compensation package.
Join the flat earth society! We don't discriminate, because...
We have members all around the globe.
Yes. Flat earth is truly a global movement with a great sphere of influence.
Influencers' life
A twenty-something walks into a shop with a parrot on her shoulder, and begins recording herself in the floral, with fabrics mugging with product.
The shopkeeper is intrigued, and asks her where did you get that?
The parrot says Instagram! There's millions of them there!
Random people have started following me on Instagram
I guess I am a fermi influencer now. Soon I will be a micro influencer. Mega influencer seems a little far fetched.
I hear The Beatles influenced the COVID19 treatment policy at Italian hospitals...
Live... Let Die... Live... Let Die...
People are forever going on about how video games are an unhealthy influence on the young.
But I grew up in the 1980s when all we had was Pacman and it's not like we spent all our time running around in the dark munching pills to weird repetitive music!
A joke by Mirza Ghalib (renowned Urdu / Persian poet) translated into English
Not sure if the humor is lost in translation but I found it hilarious. Anyway here goes:
I got drunk under the influence of love and told her that she's my Goddess;
I immediately sobered up when she told me that Goddesses are worshipped by many.
I grew up listening to music that demeaned women, glorified violence and normalized criminal behavior. I know it definitely influenced the culture around me.
Thankfully, I stopped listening to country music and found hip hop.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A cop pulled over a guy he suspected of driving under the influence.
He told the driver he'd have to take a breathalyzer test..
"Sorry, officer but I've got asthma and a breathalyzer might trigger anaphylaxis attack."
"Okay well then you'll have to do a u**... test"
"Afraid I can't do that either. You see I have diabetes and my u**... has all kinds of stuff in it that would throw a test off."
"OK fine. Then step out of your car and walk a white line."
"Nope can't do that either."
"Oh yeah, so what's your excuse this time."
"Cuz I'm drunk, ya dumb a**...!
A cop saw a car weaving all ov
A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell liquor on her breath.
He said, "I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol."
She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, "It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones."
She replied, "You mean it shows that, too?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ah, Instagram influencers ...
...I remember back when they were simply called h**...
A cop was questioning me and asked if I was under the influence of narcotics.
"Usually" was apparently the wrong answer.
whats the difference between a social media influencer and a bench??
one can support a family.
How can you tell the difference between a cop and a social media influencer?
The influencer HAS TO tell you their job.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tik tok < pornhub
I met a cute girl at bar recently she told me she was a tik tok influencer,
I said cool I'm on pornhub, maybe we should collab,
either way its only gonna last 10 seconds.
Pulled Over
A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking blonde woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell of liquor on her breath. He said, "I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol."
She blew the breathalyzer and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, "It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones."
She turned red, and replied, "You mean it shows that, too?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the influencer t**... get arrested?
Because his tick tock blew up…
What's the difference between Influencer and Influenza?
One wants to go viral, the other is already viral…
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do pimples and social media influencers have in common?
They both start off small, randomly grow huge, explode, then leave a n**... scar until one day we forget they were ever there.
That's all guys, bye.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the influencer who became a s**... bomber?
At first he had barely any followers, but then he blew up.
Did your hear about the alcoholic scuba diver?
He was convicted of diving under the influence.