Influence Jokes

53 influence jokes and hilarious influence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about influence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores the implications of joking about influence and how it can be used to increase leverage and power. Discover how even bad influence jokes can be used to boost your influence as an influencer.

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Funniest Influence Short Jokes

Short influence jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The influence humour may include short influential jokes also.

  1. I don't understand all these jokes about mothers-in-law. Mine is sweet, supportive, and a great influence on me and my wife. I can't say anything bad about her.
  2. I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
  3. Why do Instagram influencers enjoy shopping at Walmart so much? They just can't get enough of the self-checkout.
  4. If you want to learn about the religious influence of Shrek, open your bible to Psalm body once told me...
  5. If I was a cop, I would write the word 'Influence' on a bridge, and pull over anyone that drives under it.
  6. What's the difference between a social media influencer and a philosophy major? The philosophy major needed a degree to be useless.
  7. Researchers have discovered that diarrhea is influenced by genetics. Their evidence: It runs in your jeans.
  8. Tik tok < pornhub I met a cute girl at bar recently she told me she was a tik tok influencer,
    I said cool I'm on pornhub, maybe we should collab,
    either way its only gonna last 10 seconds.
  9. Turns out that Roy Moore is having a bad influence on weather in Alabama. The temperatures are flirting with the teens this week.
  10. Growing up in the film industry, Harvey Weinstein was a huge influence for me. He really touched me.

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Influence One Liners

Which influence one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with influence? I can suggest the ones about affect and impact.

  1. What's the unit of measure for social influence? Instagrams
  2. The influencer was diagnosed with paranoia. He believed nobody was following him.
  3. Why don't influencer work in nuclear plants. Because they get paid just in exposure.
  4. What do you call the Asian influence in American Culture? An East infection
  5. What you call a person driving a car under the influence of laughing gas ? Madagascar
  6. Picasso greatly influenced sanitary napkin commercials. He also had a blue period.
  7. Why is Influencer Marketing called Influenza Marketing? Because it counts on going viral.
  8. I ran in to an old friend last week... I was arrested for driving under the influence
  9. Fear the influence of the Time Beings People will do the worst things just for them.
  10. What do you call a midget with 5k followers on Instagram? A Micro Influencer
  11. Who is the biggest "influencer" in the world? Vladimir Putin.
  12. Why is it so hard to influence dust particles? Because they exist in a vacuum.
  13. I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.
  14. How much does an influencer wheigh? One instagram
  15. What do you call a fat motivational speaker? A Sphere of Influence.

Driving Under The Influence Jokes

Here is a list of funny driving under the influence jokes and even better driving under the influence puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man is pulled over by a cop on the suspicion that the man is Driving Under the Influence. Cop: Are you high?
    Man: Am I what?
    Cop: High.
    Man: Hello.
  • Tiger Woods was found driving under the influence Before you know it he will be putting under the influence.
  • Chuck Norris was pulled over this past weekend.... ...and was found to be driving over the influence.
  • My local golf club proposed a new rule that people are no longer allowed to play while drunk. Yeah, I guess there was too many people driving under the influence.
  • NEVER drive while under the influence of alcohol... Or at least wait until your mid 30s when you get good at it
  • Drunk Golfer Kicked off the Green at Oak Hill Country Club He was driving under the influence.
  • Liam Neeson got pulled over on the weekend... ...and was found to be driving OVER the influence

Bad Influence Jokes

Here is a list of funny bad influence jokes and even better bad influence puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Disney princesses usually have a good reputation. But Sleeping Beauty is mistaken as a bad influence because she is always under a rest
  • I want to give a shout out to liver thanks buddy for keeping all those bad influences out of my life
  • Why was the pencil s bad influence on the paper ? His darkness rubbed off on him
Influence joke, Why was the pencil s bad influence on the paper ?

Influence joke, Why was the pencil s bad influence on the paper ?

Fun-Filled Influence Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about influence you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean effect jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make influence pranks.

I before E, except after C.

We ***feign agreeing***, but this ***foreign poltergeist*** of a rule is ***neither efficient*** nor smart- and ***therein*** lies the ***height*** of the issue. It's as if an ***ancient deity*** has influenced the ***zeitgeist*** of the people. We must remove the ***weight*** of this ***veil*** from ***their*** eyes, and ***forfeit*** the ***leisure*** of this ***weird*** and ***heinous*** rule from our ***science*** and ***leisure*** alike.

Ah, Instagram influencers ...

...I remember back when they were simply called h**...

A man is pulled over at 2am by a state trooper

State trooper: Hey, where you headed at 2 am sir?
Elderly man: I'm just on my way to hear a lecture about the dangers of drinking and staying out late and smoking m**... with friends who are a bad influence.
State Trooper: Really? Who's giving that kind of lecture at 2 in the morning?
Elderly man: That would be my wife, officer.

Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.

He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."

So Adam was lonely.

God asked Adam, "What's wrong?"
Adam replied, "I'm lonely."
So God said, "Adam, I will make you a partner. She will wash and cook and clean for you; she will listen to what you have to say and never interrupt you. She won't nag you about your actions and she will even bear your children. She will stay loyal to you and never be influenced by other men."
So Adam asked, "Well, what's his gonna cost me?"
"An arm and a leg," God replied.
Then Adam asked, "Well what can I get for a rib?"

In one Intensive care unit

people always died on the same bed at 11 am on a Sunday morning, regardless of their condition. This puzzled medical staff, so a group of doctors decided to observe the bed in secret and waited for the fateful hour. Some held crosses and prayer books to ward off evil influences, while the less superstitious had video cameras to catch the whole thing on tape. At the 11th hour, the door to the ward slowly opened, then a cleaner came in, disconnected the life support machine and plugged in a vacuum cleaner.

I went to the bar today and asked the bartender to make me an Orange Cheeto...

"I've never heard of that," he replies.
"Well, nobody really knows what it's made of," I reply, "but I've heard it's heavily influenced by a White Russian."

What do pimples and social media influencers have in common?

They both start off small, randomly grow huge, explode, then leave a n**... scar until one day we forget they were ever there.
That's all guys, bye.

Why did the influencer t**... get arrested?

Because his tick tock blew up…

Today's Horoscope:

"You are easily influenced by what you read and have the ability to make vague sentences somehow applicable to your own existence."

How many influencers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

100, one to screw it in and 99 to say that they did.

When interviewing the police officers involved in Tiger Woods' arrest, they told how they came to suspect he was under the influence.

"Simple" The officer responded. "It was the straightest drive he's had in years. We knew right away something was up."

Mayday Mayday

I need to prove to a French friend that the French language had zero influence on the English language.

Did your hear about the alcoholic scuba diver?

He was convicted of diving under the influence.

How many influencers does it take yo change a lightbulb?

One, but it will take 300 videos, over 10 hours and they will stop to comment every eight of a turn.

Computer games are said to be a bad influence on kids.

Nonsense - my generation grew up playing Pac-Man, but did we end up dashing around dark rooms and swallowing white dots while listening to electronic music?

Influence joke, Computer games are said to be a bad influence on kids.