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Infinitive Jokes

145 infinitive jokes and hilarious infinitive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about infinitive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Infinitive Short Jokes

Short infinitive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The infinitive humour may include short jokes also.

  1. I feel sad for people with gay parents They either get twice the number of dad jokes or are stuck in the infinite loop of 'ask mom'
  2. Having gay parents must be horrible You either get twice the usual amount of dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom"
  3. Scientists discovered a revolutionary material with infinite length and zero depth ... but then they realized No Man's sky was invented already.
  4. There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . . Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.
  5. Having gay parents must be horrible Either you get twice the amount of dad jokes or get stuck in the infinite loop of 'ask your mom'
  6. The worst part of gay couples adopting kids The adopted kids will either get twice the amount of dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of go ask your mother.
  7. Love Girl: what do you think of our love
    Me: count the stars
    Girl: awww.... its infinite
    Me: no, its a waste of time.
  8. Only three things are infinite The universe, human stupidity, and the winrar trial period.
  9. I feel bad for children of gay parents They either suffer from twice as many dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mother"
  10. An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar The first orders a pint. The second orders a half, the third a quarter and so on. The bartender pours 2 pints and says, Figure it out yourselves.

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Infinitive One Liners

Which infinitive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with infinitive? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. My laziness is like the number 8. Once it lies down, it becomes infinite.
  2. Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space? Because no one on earth wants to buy it.
  3. Why is call of duty infinite warfare set in space? Because nobody liked it on earth.
  4. I need you to make a container with finite temperature and infinite volume No pressure
  5. What do you name an electricity generator that makes infinite amounts of power? Wattever.
  6. I like writing my eights on their sides. It's infinitely better
  7. I've made an infinite runner game for old people... Its called the elder scrolls
  8. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar It takes forever.
  9. What's infinite times better than the Super Bowl? The Hyperbole
  10. What did Star Trek teach millions of kids? To boldly split infinitives!
  11. When I was younger I couldn't wrap my head around infinite sums But now it all adds up
  12. why do i make infinite squiggly lines? cos i can. it would be a sin not to.
  13. What do you call an infinitely small cow? a moot point.
  14. Yo Mama so fat Her waistband is the reason Pi is an infinite number.
  15. What do you call an endless line of iPhones? An infinite Siris

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about infinitive can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of infinitive puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Infinitive Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about infinitive you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make infinitive prank.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one orders a beer, the second one orders half a beer, the third one orders a quarter, and the fourth one orders one eighth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says,"you guys should know your limits."

An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom"

"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff.
The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."

Genie: I will grant you 3 wishes.

Me: I've seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way.
Genie: I promise that won't happen. I'm so sure it won't I'll give you infinite wishes if it does.
Me: Okay. I wish for a boomerang with teeth.
Genie: You son of a ........

A gerund, infinitive, and a past participle walk into a bar.

Drinking, to drink, to get drunk

An angel appears at a faculty meeting...

... And tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
"Done!" says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."
The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, "You're all a bunch of idiots."

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first one orders a beer, the second one orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, etc. The bartender pours two beers and says, "Hey, you guys ought to know your limits."

My Favorite Math Joke

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one tells the bartender he wants a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender puts two beers on the bar and says You guys need to learn your limits.

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
~ Infinite Jest, by DFW

Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?

The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.

Bit of a different post here - an author introduces a joke but never reveals the punchline...anyone heard this joke? Or make up your own punchline?

In *Infinite Jest* by David Foster Wallace, at one point there's a line -
"...asking Mario if he knows what you call three Canadians copulating on a snowmobile."
But he doesn't say the punchline. I'm assuming maybe this is a commonish kinda joke? I've tried to think of what the punchline is but can't.

What do you call an infinite series with a finite result that has never had s**...?

Convirgin.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first one orders a beer, the second one orders a half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and this trend continues on for some time. After a while, the bartender gets fed up and hands them 2 beers, shakes his head and says, "You mathematicians just don't know your limits."

Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first says, "I'll have a beer." The second says, "I'll have half a beer." The third says, "I'll have a quarter of a beer." 
The bartender pulls out just two beers. 
The mathematicians ask, "That's all you're giving us?" 
The bartender says, "Come on guys. Know your limits."

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"


Little Kevin says: "I wanna start out as a Marine Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest h**..., give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while b**... her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Kevin, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson . .. . ..

And how about you, Sarah?"

"I wanna be Kevin¹s h**...."

So, an infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first mathematician orders a pint. The second orders half a pint. The third orders a quarter, the fourth orders an eighth, and the fifth orders a sixteenth. The sixth mathematician is about to speak up when the bartender interrupts him and puts two pints on the bar, saying "You guys don't know your limits."

Given infinite time, a million monkeys with a million typewriters

will eventually become a very creepy room filled with an equal count of typewriters and monkey skeletons

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

First asks for a beer, second asks for half a beer, third asks for a quarter of a beer...
Barmen says "Got it, no need to continue" and proceeds to ring up two beers.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first asks, "1 beer please!"
The second asks, "1/2 beer please!"
The third asks, "1/4 beer please!"
The fourth asks, "1/8 beer please!"
And so on. Eventually, the bar tender gets very angry, and slams 2 beers on the counter yelling,
"You mathematicians just don't know your limits!"

Johny the Fighter Pilot

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you
grow up?"
Little Johnny says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest p**..., give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson. "And how about you, Sarah?"

"I wanna be Johnny's p**...."

Women are like numbers ...

* Some are Rational, but infinitely more are Irrational.
* The Real ones might be Proper or Improper, but only the Imaginary ones are ever Pure.
* Some are Natural, the rest are Negative, or just not there.
* Some are Prime, but those are hard to find.
* Every other one is just plain Odd.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first mathematician orders a beer. The second mathematician orders half a beer. The third mathematician orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth mathematician orders an eighth of a beer. Before the next one can speak, the rather annoyed bartender slams two beers down on the bar and says, "You guys really need to learn your limits!"

What's the difference between an infinite line and an infinitely large circle?

There is no difference.
The joke is you just learned math.

Mathematicians in a bar

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a pint, the second a half a pint, the third 1/4 pint, the fourth 1/8... the bartender gets impatient, gives the whole group 2 pints and says "you guys dont know your limits..."

What is similar between the life of an Ethiopian kid and the hype of Call Of Duty: Infinite Warfare?

They're practically non existent.

Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

because it couldn't survive in the Battlefield.

An infinite number of people walk into a bar...

...the first one orders a beer.
The second one orders half a beer.
The third one orders a quarter of a beer.
The bartender stops them and pours two full beers.
The infinite hoard is outraged and demands more, to which the bartender responds "C'mon, guys. Know your limits".

Most Intelligent But Funniest

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematicians have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible. The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it. The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock. The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.

Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first orders one beer.
The second orders half a beer.
The third orders a quarter of a beer
This pattern continues for a few more, and then the bartender stops them, and pours two beers.
"Why'd you do that?" Asked the first guy.
"Come on guys. I thought you knew your limits." Said the bartender.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The number of occupants exceeds the maximum allowable number for fire safety, and thus the bartender throws them out.

An infinite number of mathematically inclined cows walk into a bar...

And the bartender says, "close the door! Were you raised in a barn?!"
But the cows keep shuffling in.
Because they don't understand English.

The Nokia 3310 was ahead of its time...

Dust proof, water proof, had a nearly infinite battery life, indestructible, AND no audio jack!

Boy: My love for you is like counting the stars..

Girl: Oww, Infinite?
Boy: Nope, Pointless ..

A new source of electricity is found!

Lincoln is is infinitely rolling in his grave right now.
We can use that somehow.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

First one says give me half a pint. Second one says a quarter, third says an eighth. The bartender puts down one pint and says, you people need to know your limits.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The bar explodes because a finite space cannot hold an infinite amount of matter.

An infinite number of math mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first orders 1 beer. The second orders 1/2 beer. The third orders 1/4 beer. The next orders 1/8 beer. Visibly frustrated the bartender slams 2 beers on the table and says "Guys, you need to learn your limits!"

What's worst than being just a procrastinator...

Being caught in an infinite loop because of being a procrastinator who loves to plan.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician asks for a beer.
The second asks for a half a beer.
The third asks for a quarter of a beer and so on with the consecutive mathematicians having half the amount of beer as the mathematician before him.
The bartender says: "I'll just pour you 2 beers, you gotta know your limits!"

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first says, "I'll have a beer."
The second says, "I'll have one half of a beer."
The third says, "I'll have one fourth of a beer."
Frustrated, the bartender pulls out two bottles and says, "You guys should know your limits."

It's Albert Einstein, not mine

Few things are Infinite,
The Universe, Human stupidity and the amount of times you have to tell your Mother you can't pause an online Game.

A priest....

A priest, an Irishman, a horse, a gorilla, a twelve inch pianist and an infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The bartender says "Is this some kind of a joke?"

An infinite number of mathematics walk into a bar...

The bartender asked what they want. The first says a pint, the next says half a pint, next says a 1/4th a pint, next says an 1/8th a pint and so on until the bartender gets tired of hearing what they want. He pours two pints and says "Y'all need to learn your limits."

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one walks up and orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third one wants 1/4 of a beer, and the next wants just 1/8th. The bartender sees where this is going, and stops them before anyone else can order.
The bartender pours two beers, hands them over, and says "You guys should really know your limits".

An infinite amount of Mathematicians walk into a bar...

Then they all die due to infinite mass in finite space.

If I got a penny everytime . . .

If I got a penny everytime I got a penny, I'd be infinitely rich.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first says, I'll have a beer. The second says, I'll have half a beer. The third says, I'll have a quarter of a beer. Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills up exactly two glasses of beer and serves them. Come on, now, he says to the group, You guys have got to learn your limits.

An infinite line of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one orders a beer. The second orders 1/2 a beer. The 3rd orders 1/4 th of a beer. The bartender pours 2 beers and says, "You guys need to learn your limits!"

What do you call a girl that can table dance infinitely due to unusual geometry infinitely due to unusual the geometry

A Mobius stripper

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first one orders a beer, the second one orders half a beer, the third guy a quarter of a beer, the fourth guy get a eighth of a beer the fifth orders a sixteenth of a beer...
The bar then collapses into a black hole due to the crowd.

It must s**... being raised by gay parents.

Either you get stuck with double the dad jokes or get thrown into an infinite loop of "go ask your mother."

A boy frees a genie.

"my first wish is the power to make infinite wishes come true!"
The boy became the genie.

The mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first mathematician orders a pint of beer. The second mathematician orders a half. The third, a quarter pint. There is an infinite line up of Mathematicians.
The bartender fills up two pints and slides it over to the Mathematicians.

An infinite number of people walk into a bar...

The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer...
The bartender pulls out two beers and tells them to know their limits.

Gabriel's horn is a geometric figure which has infinite surface area but finite volume

This is in contrast to a vuvuzela which has a finite surface area but infinite volume

If you give an infinite amount of monkeys with typewriters an infinite amount of time, they will eventually recreate all of Shakespeare's masterpieces accidentally...

But give them five minutes, and they'll have the script of The Last Jedi.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one to enter asked for a pint of whatever's on tap.
The second, third, fourth, and so on all the way to the infinite subsequent patron to enter said "I'll have half of what he's having", pointing to the person who came before him.
The bar tender responded "you're all idiots!" and poured two pints.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second orders half a pint, the third orders a quarter pint. The bartender interrupts them, You guys need to learn your limits. Two pints, coming right up!

My girlfriend is like a Infinite Lists video

It was promising at the beginning, but I wish I never saw it.

I like my women like I like the constant 'e'

infinite in number and at the base of my natural log

It has been said that a million monkeys hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type complete works of William Shakespeare.....

With the advent of internet, now we know that is not true!

An infinite number of people walk into a bar

The first person orders a beer, the second half a beer, the third a quarter and so on.
The bartender hands them two beers and says "know your limits".

There's a fine line between the numerator and the denominator

There's also a fine between crushing and infinite depression.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have a beer." The second says, "I'll have half a beer." The third says, "I'll have a quarter of a beer." And so on.

The bartender hands them two glasses of beer and says, "You guys need to know your limits."

Two engineers walk into a bar..

And order two beers.
The bartender says "I was expecting infinite number of mathematicians"
The engineer says "Nah. We just like to round off!"

An infinite number of lemmings walk into a python

while True:
print("Ouch.")
^^\#oof

Only three things are infinite...

The universe, human stupidity and and the Winrar trial period.
Actually I am not very sure about the first two.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these infinitive jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.