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Infested Jokes

31 infested jokes and hilarious infested puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about infested that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Infested Short Jokes

Short infested jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The infested humour may include short infected jokes also.

  1. Andrew Tate says his romanian jail is infested with lice. "Can you imagine sharing a cell with vile parasites?" Say the lice.
  2. Why is a seal with just one fin safe to swim in shark infested waters? Like everyone else, sharks know that if the seal is broken the food isn't safe to consume!
  3. So apparently Curiosity, a Mars rover, found something resembling a mouse... If Mars is suffering from a mouse infestation it's probably because Curiosity killed the cat.
  4. Outside my school there is an unfortunate tree It has been hit by a car, struck by lightning, and now infested with termites.
    What a poor sap
  5. A guy with some cockroach-infested bread, an aptitude for puns, and a propensity for spoonerisms walks into a bar. "I have the pest buns," he says to the barman.
  6. [OC] So did you hear about that harbour in Brazil that was infested with birds? I guess you could call it a Port-o-Geese.
  7. Anti-vaxxers... ...are like if somebody decided to swim across a crocodile-infested river because they're afraid the bridge will collapse
  8. You know, Daleks are pretty good if you have a bug infestation In fact, they are so good they can't stop themselves from EXTERMINATING
  9. What do you call an ant infestation in your school's P.A. system? A reason to call the exterminator.
  10. No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house... It's actually just a mynah problem.

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Infested One Liners

Which infested one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with infested? I can suggest the ones about ruined and possessed.

  1. (OC) What do the cops do when they get a fly infestation? Call in the swat team!
  2. How did the chief of police solve his fly infestation problem? He called the SWAT team
  3. I think I have a chameleon infestation But there is no real way to tell
  4. Why was the beach next to the power plant closed? Because it is spark infested waters.
  5. "shark infested water" You mean their home?
  6. Where do bugs get off the train? Infest-station.
  7. What do you call an acrobat in shark infested waters? A balanced breakfast.
  8. What do you call a tiny bug that infests Egyptian dogs and bites them? Flea-o-patra
  9. What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous? Shark infested mashed potatoes.
  10. What do you call a group of humans? An infestation.
  11. Whats yellow and dangerous? Shark infested custard
  12. Why did Arnold show up at the rodent infested house? Because he is an ex-Terminator.
  13. What did the h**... infested group of singers give to the groupie? Band Aids
  14. What did Jewish, s**...-infested women in the 70s have? A burning bush.
  15. I'd tell you the one about the shark infested custard but... You'd never s**... it.

Infested joke, I'd tell you the one about the shark infested custard but...

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Infested Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about infested you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean plague jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make infested pranks.

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge

Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer.
\- How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly? - he asks
\- 99.97% - the engineer replies confidently
The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around:
\- Guess I'm swimming then...

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "There is a 99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"

An anti-vaxxer and an engineer are crossing a bridge over a crocodile-infested river

The anti-vaxxer asks "What are the odds of us making it across the bridge safely?"
The engineer replies "After a careful structural analysis, I calculate a 99.7% chance of crossing this bridge safely."
The anti-vaxxer then says "Forget it, I'll swim."

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge.

Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer. "How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly?" he asks. "99.97%," the engineer replies confidently. The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around. "Guess I'm swimming then."

There are 500 bricks on a plane...

- There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?
499
- What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge
- What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge
- The Lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend but one. Which animal is it and why?
Giraffe. He's stuck in a refrigerator.
- Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across and makes it to the other side safely. Why?
The alligators are all at the birthday party.
- Sally dies anyways. Why?
She got hit in the head by a flying brick

If there are 500 bricks on a plane and one falls off, how many are left?

499.
What are the 3 steps of putting an elephant into a fridge?
Open fridge, put elephant in fridge, close fridge
What are the 4 steps of putting a giraffe into a fridge?
Open fridge, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close fridge.
The lion king is hosting a party. All but one of the guests show up. Who is missing?
The giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to go to the party, but she has to cross a crocodile-infested river to get there. She successfully swims across, how?
All the crocodiles are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, why?
She got hit in the head by a falling brick.

A man moves in an old apartment

He notices the place is ridden with moths. Not knowing what to do, he calls his mother who tells him to buy some mothballs.
He goes to a nearby store and buys a pound of mothballs. The next day, he goes back and buys another pound. That same day he returns and buy yet another pound.
The seller stops him. Man, how many moths are you dealing with? I've been working here for so long and I've never seen an infestation requiring more than half a pound of mothballs
Well, replies the man. Not everybody has such a good aim.

Pest Control

There is a church that is infested with rats. No amount of traps or exterminators have any effect on the still growing population. One day the local pastor thinks up a plan. The next day, all the rats are gone. The people are floored and asked what he did. He replies by saying that he baptized them and they will only be back on Christmas and Easter.

An Irishman and a m**... are seated next to each other on a plane...

The flight attendant asks if they'd like anything to drink. The Irishman says I'll have a double shot of Jameson, and one for my new friend here.
No no no, says the m**.... I would rather be sodomized by a dozen disease-infested w**... than to let alcohol touch my lips.
The flight attendant blushes and turns away before the Irishman interjects, forget the whiskey—I didn't realize that was an option.

There a 502 bricks in a plane, one falls out, how many bricks are left?

501
h**... do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Open the door, put the elephant in, shut the door
How do put a giraffe in a fridge?
Open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, close the door
The lion king invites all the animals to a party, but ones missing, what is it?
The giraffe, he's still in a fridge.
A girl swims across a crocodile infested river, but she still survives, how?
All the crocodiles are at the party
The girl still dies. How?
She gets hit on the head by a brick falling out of the sky

Infested joke, There a 502 bricks in a plane, one falls out, how many bricks are left?