Infected Jokes

47 infected jokes and hilarious infected puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about infected that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article looks at "Infected Jokes" from the perspective of a medic dealing with a bacterial infection. Learn how to bring a lighthearted approach to the quarantine, with some medically-focused comedy infused into the mix.

Funniest Infected Short Jokes

Short infected jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The infected humour may include short infested jokes also.

  1. If a co worker is sick, is it considered a staff infection? I really just came up with this joke all by myself, this is a big moment for me.
  2. America's coronavirus response is a lot like my ex-girlfriend's legs. They opened up fast for just about anyone, and now everyone who took advantage is suffering from a viral infection.
  3. Did you hear about the virus that only infected children's computers? Yeah I thought it was just a pdf-file.
  4. I have a weird fungal infection on my foot... I didn't like it at first, but it's growing on me.
  5. I called in sick to work today...

    I said: "I have an eye infection, I can't see myself coming in."
  6. I just got an eye infection for rubbing it too hard. I guess I can’t masturbate for awhile now.
  7. Did you hear about the doctor that ignored an eye infection and went blind? He examined himself, but couldn't see anything wrong.
  8. Have you hear about the new Canadian strain of Covid-19? Most people infected are eh symptomatic.
  9. Did you hear about the doctor that ignored an eye infection and went blind? He examined himself, but couldn't see anything wrong.
  10. Went to the doctor for an ear infection and now I've found out I'm actually going deaf. That news was pretty hard to hear.

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Infected One Liners

Which infected one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with infected? I can suggest the ones about infection and virus infects.

  1. What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder w/cheese.
  2. What do you call a woman with a yeast infection and a sense of humour? A fun-gal.
  3. What do you get when a basketball player gets a lung infection? LeBronchitis
  4. Doctor told me I have viral eye infection... Must be the cornea virus
  5. What do you call a redhead with a yeast infection? Gingerbread
  6. If a single germ can infect over 300 people... Imagine what a married one could do.
  7. Just found out my grandma has been infected I knew I should have used protection!
  8. What's an anorexic with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.
  9. What do you call a pig that has never been tested for an infection? Uncultured swine.
  10. What's the worst thing about earrape? You could get an ear infection, like hearing AIDS
  11. What's the leading cause of death among wizards? Staff infection
  12. What do you call a red head with a yeast infection A ginger bread house
  13. Butter makes everything taste better, But now my girlfriend has a yeast infection.
  14. why couldn't the rabbi eat out during passover? His girlfriend had a yeast infection
  15. What do you call it when everyone at your job is sick... A staff infection

Infected joke, What do you call it when everyone at your job is sick...

Humorous Infected Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about infected you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean injured jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make infected pranks.

Son. if you get a bladder infection…

u**... Trouble

According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2020 was the Year of the Rat

So we've been spending the entire year holed up, only briefly leaving to get food, running at the sight of other humans, and transmitting infection.

Dough Boy

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.
He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies.
The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded".
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven.
The f**... was at 3:50 for 20 minutes.

What did the doctor say to the patient with a bladder infection?

u**... Trouble

How do you get h**... viral infection of the eye?

Looking for love in all the wrong places.

What happens when you get a bladder infection?

u**... trouble.

As a white person... We need more white people jokes. I've got a few here.

What do you call a bunch of White people sitting around watching black people do all the work?
What do you call a bunch of White people chasing a black guy through a field?
What do you call a White Girl with a yeast infection?
Crackers with Cheese.
What do you call it when a white guy tries to shoot a 3 pointer?

There was once a man who got an eye infection and had to get his eye removed, he could not afford a glass eye so his doctor made him a wooden one.

He was very self conscious about having a wood eye and as such he would only go to poorly lit bars to try to pick up chicks.
One night he was at such a bar and striking out with most of the women there, decided to have one final drink before leaving, as he is drinking he sees a woman who looks a little overweight and says to himself "I'll try one more time"
He then walks up to the woman and asks
"Excuse me but would you like to dance"
The woman jumps up excitedly and says
"Would I, would I"
He responds with
"fatass, fatass"

What infection can you get for having nasal s**...?


God and the devil chat about music

The god and the devil were chating, as they usually do when the concept of music came up.
With a bit of intrigue God asked the devil how he'd managed to get into every genre of music, from rock & rap to hip hop & metal ect .
The devil chuckled no no no , music is too special, too human for me to infect. it requires a soul to create music .
The devil leans back, now the music-industry, that's some of my finer work

Ethiopian jokes I've heard from over the years.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese
What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth?
A rake
What do you call 10 Ethiopians carrying a canoe over their heads?
A comb
What do you call an Ethiopian with a club foot?
A gulf club.

A man gets a STD test from his doctor...

...and while the doctor is filling out paperwork, he asks the man several questions to determine his risk of infection.
"Alright, last question, you're looking great so far." says the doc "Have you ever paid for s**...?"
The man thinks for a moment, and glancing out at his wife and kids through the examination room window, sighs, and says, "Every time..."

When you've got a bladder infection...

You know u**... trouble.

A man went to the doctor with an infection that started in his hand, but spread to his whole arm.

The doctor said that the infection was getting out-of-hand.

The moment we find out dogs really could sniff out coronavirus infections...

We'd ask WHO, let the dogs out! WHO! WHO!

Scientists have recently discovered a virus that increases the apathy of those infected.

No one seems to care.

Infected joke, Scientists have recently discovered a virus that increases the apathy of those infected.

jokes about infected