Individual Jokes

50 individual jokes and hilarious individual puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about individual that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article covers how an Individual Retirement Account (IRA) can be used as a collective to determine how to manage your retirement savings individually. Learn different strategies you can use to maximize your personal retirement savings.

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Funniest Individual Short Jokes

Short individual jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The individual humour may include short personal jokes also.

  1. When people lose one sense, other senses usually get enhanced. That is why individuals with no sense of Humor
    have increased sense of self-importance and narcissism.
  2. Got this joke off of a yogurt pack... Why are football stadiums so windy? 'This is not labelled for individual sales'
    I know, I dont get it either...
  3. I want to open an Indian restaurant that caters to the workingclass individual. I'll call it Naan to Five.
  4. (Told by a 7 year old reading me a joke off of her SpongeBob Gogurt) "What is Plankton's grandma's favorite type of pudding?" "Not labeled for individual sale!!!!!"
  5. So, two yogurts walk into a bar The bar tender says "hey, what do you think you're doing? We don't serve you here!"
    And the Yogurts respond "Why? We're two cultured individuals."
  6. When I lay down to go to sleep, I watch Hillary Clinton rallies It is much more convenient than counting sheep individually.
  7. Why are some cucumbers individually wrapped with plastic at the grocery store? Double usage
  8. What do you call a guy with a big orange nose? Sir. The man has enough on his plate without being treated as a lesser individual by society.
  9. Now what I don't get are these people who, instead of buying a four-pack or an eight-pack of toilet paper, they buy the single individual roll; are you trying to quit?
  10. How many Scientologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? That depends on the amount of workforce initiated by the individual and the amount of money given to the cult.

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Individual One Liners

Which individual one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with individual? I can suggest the ones about member and patient.

  1. There's no 'I' in team... ...but there's five in 'individual brilliance'.
  2. Two individuals decide to spend ramadan together... They were fast friends!
  3. Everybody repeat after me: "We are all individuals."
  4. Everyone tries to be an individual these days. Not me, though.
  5. What gets harder the more you play with it? A Rubik's cube, you dirty minded individuals!
  6. Do Individual Atoms Have Goals? Yes, but they don't matter.
  7. What do you call a self employed individual who works with fertilizer? An Entremanure.
  8. Male cattle individual in the sun and place in Turkey Istanbul
  9. What do you call an individual limbo performance? A solo.
    (So low)
  10. I sell chickens individually, but never as a group. I don't give a flock.
  11. Today I met an individual who fought for equality... ... she was a western feminist.
  12. What do you call a mexican in a parking lot A well established individual
  13. Why don't tubas play individually? Because they already play so low
  14. You ain't an Apple. You's a PC. As in an insult to an awkward individual.
  15. Referring to people as individuals isn't accurate... I can divide them.

Individual joke, Referring to people as individuals isn't accurate...

Entertaining Individual Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about individual you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean specific jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make individual pranks.

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Therapist tells his patient to write individual letters to everyone who wronged him and then burn them to gain some peace

Patient comes back the next week and says he's done what the therapist recommended. Then asks what he should do with the letters


At New York's Kennedy Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square and a calculator. Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

The two troublemakers

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.
So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.
The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"

A guy goes into a grocery store.

He sees a pile of potatoes, and asks the store keeper:
"What are those?"
"Those are potatoes"
"Can I have a kilo of potatoes individually wrapped?"
The store keeper shakes his head and start wrapping potatoes.
"What are those?"
"Those are plums..."
"Can I have a kilogram of plums all individually wrapped?"
The store keeper cusses under his breath and starts packing plums.
"... and what are those?!
"Those are poppy seeds and they are NOT for sale!"

An individual walks into a restaurants, orders and eats his meal

"That'll be $13.45." says the waiter.
The individual pulls out a $50 bill.
"Sorry, we've had issues with counterfeit money lately. Do you have any smaller bills?" asks the waiter.
"Sure, no problem.." The individual pulls out a $25 bill, pays with it and leaves.

200Years in the future.

A team of the smartest people on earth go to a distant planet, believed to have life. When they land they're greeted by 3aliens. They speak perfect english.
"Leave outsiders. This is our home planet, only trusted individuals are allowed here!"
The space group is quite surprised by this. Most of them think about turning back and going to earth. When one man in the back of the group, Unseen by the aliens, Shows himself. Upon his sight the aliens appear to become much more peaceful with the humans.
"Oh you brought Dave with you! Why didn't you say so."

A Glasgow girl goes to the Civic Center to register for child benefit.

"How many children?" asks the civil servant?
"10" replies the girl.
"10???" says the civil servant.. "What are their names?"
"Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec
"Doesn't that get confusing?" "
Naw..." says the girl "its great because if thur oot playin in the street, ah jist huv tae shout ALEC, YER DINNER'S READY or ALEC, GO TO BED NOW 'n' they aw dae it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed civil servant.
"'at's easy," says the girl... "Ah just use thur surnames"

Sherlock Holmes arrives at a crime scene, and immediately bends down to pick up a button on the floor.

Hmm… Sherlock ponders, I deduce that the individual this button belongs to is 6' 1 , was born in January, and has a fascination with blueberry muffins.
Watson was completely confused by his partner's deduction.
How could you possibly get all that from just a button?
Elementary! Sherlock replied. Because it's mine!

Breaking News

At Miami International Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.
Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement which has struck t**... into the lives of many for generations. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

How to tell if women is single

A woman walks into a store and purchases 1 small box of detergent, 1 bar of soap, 3 individual servings of yogurt and 2 oranges. The cashier says, You must be single. She responds, You can tell that by what I bought? The cashier says, No, you're ugly.

What did Louis c**... call his style of management where he interacts with each employee on an individual basis?

Different Strokes for Different Folks

Bob Seger sits in a park with a tired-eyed old man. He's learning how to play chess.

After going over the layout and setup of the board, the old man begins a lesson on to the movement of the individual pieces.
Queens move in all directions, any distance. Kings are the same but with only one space. He didn't understand the knight, though.
Two in one direction, then one to the side.
Hm, funny how the knight moves.

What do you call a s**... interaction between two trans individuals?

A transaction.
This is the only good original joke I've made in my entire life, and that's not a joke!
Haven't seen this posted elsewhere before.

s**...' and 'Love' ....;)

At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words s**...' and 'love.'
The woman wrote:
When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and they respect each other very much, just like my hubby and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act physical s**... with one another.
The Husband wrote: I Love s**....

Kris came from a family where it's a tradition to take out their giant boulder and put it in front of their house every year for a few days

Most of their neighbors were fine with it, but some were bothered by it, including an individual named Smith who had a history of conflict with the family.
This year, he was thinking of hitting the boulder to simply show disrespect to the family, but he was still considering it.
The question remains, will Smith slap Kris' rock?

TIL about the Downing-Keurig Effect in which poor performers greatly overestimate their abilities. It shows that underperforming individuals reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the ability to realize."

I feel so smart knowing about this.

I explained to a friend that I had a c**... break, so I called the manufacturer and gave them the serial number from the c**... ...

at this point he said to me, "Wait a minute!!! You're telling me that every c**... has an individual serial number?"
I said, "Yes, you've never seen that? I GUESS YOU'VE NEVER HAD TO UNROLL ONE THAT FAR"

An owl was investigated as a suspect in the serial murders of eight random individuals in under a year

But the case went cold after repeatedly insisting it didn't know the victims' names.


Ordinarily, staring is creepy. But if you spread your attention across many individuals, then it's just people watching.

Did you know that Vegas has more Catholic Churches than casinos?

Not surprisingly, some Sunday worshipers give casino chips when the collection basket is passed. Since they get chips for many different casinos the churches have devised a system to handle the collections. The churches send all of their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then taken to the individual casinos to redeem for cash.
This is done by the chip monks.

Should we eliminate psychopaths from the gene pool?

On face value it might seem like a splendid idea, but as much suffering and pain these individuals put the rest of us through... We still need women for survival of the species.

What happens if you take a popular website, add a dash of censorship, and allow the discretionary system of control to be based on the biases of individuals...

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Individual joke, What happens if you take a popular website, add a dash of censorship, and allow the discretionary sy

jokes about individual