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Indian Wife Jokes

42 indian wife jokes and hilarious indian wife puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about indian wife that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Indian Wife Short Jokes

Short indian wife jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The indian wife humour may include short indian girl jokes also.

  1. My wife left me for an Indian guy It's okay, I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows
  2. My wife said she could smell an Indian flatbread from a mile away. I said that was naan scents.
  3. My neighbor is Indian and every night when he comes home he punches his wife... 6:30 pm, right on the dot.
  4. This Indian man I know beats his wife every night he hits her at the same time. Always at 7:00. Right on the Dot.
  5. Did you hear about.. Did you hear about the indian man who was charged with domestic violence, he hit his wife on the head every night at 7 on the dot
  6. My wife thinks her latest copy of Indian Cooking Monthly is too narrowly focused I think it's a naan issue.
  7. Did you read The Indian In The Cupboard as a kid? I text my wife my musing about his tribe. Do you think he was a plAZTEC Indian?
    We finalize the divorce paperwork tomorrow she says.
  8. My wife and I were debating Indian food I'm pretty sure I won because all her arguments were naan-sequiturs.
  9. So my wife left me for an indian guy... Im sure she'll be treated well, they consider cows to be sacred.
  10. After finishing dinner in a restaurant, Indian wife told her husband, "Give tip to the waiter". Husband called the waiter and said
    "Don't get married!"

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Indian Wife One Liners

Which indian wife one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with indian wife? I can suggest the ones about indian family and indian american.

  1. Davinath the Indian wife beater punches his wife every night at 7 PM. On the dot.
  2. Sandeep, the Indian wife beater, hits his wife every night at 7PM. On the dot.
  3. An Indian friend of mine used to hit his wife every night at 7.30... ..on the dot.
  4. Abdul the Indian wife beater hits his wife every evening at 7PM On the dot.
  5. If an Indian man hits his wife, Is it domestic violence or child a**...?

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Indian Wife Jokes

What funny jokes about indian wife you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean english wife jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make indian wife pranks.

Cowboys and Indian.

One day two cowboys are riding down a road when they saw a Native man with his ear to the road.
These Indians are amazing. Said one cowboy. They can hear things from miles away.
As they rode closer they heard the man began to speak. Horse-drawn carriage pulled by two horses, one black and one white. It is driven by a man. His wife is beside him and a son and daughter are in the back.
That's incredible! How did you know all of that?
They ran over me two hours ago.

A catholic priest and an Indian named John...

One Friday afternoon on the reservation John and his family were starving. John, being a great hunter, went out and killed a deer to feed his wife and kids.

A catholic priest sees this and says, "John! What are you doing? You cannot eat meat on a Friday!"

John says to the priest, "It's not meat, it's fish!"

The priest couldn't believe his ears. He quickly replied, "It is meat and you should not tell lies, John!"

John says, "I assure you father, it is fish."

Cofused and curious the father ask John, "Why do you say it is fish?"

John says, "I sprinkled water on it and I said from meat you become fish."

The priest yells at John, "You cannot do that!"

John says, "Why not father? When I met you I was Mapuche, then you sprinkled water on me and I became John."

My wife left me for an Indian guy

But it's okay. I let her take the blankets as a parting gift

3 Horses

I asked the Indian man how it was that his wife was named 'Three Horses', such an unusual name?
He said, "Nag, Nag, Nag!"

"Five Horses Is Her Name"

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name. He replied, "She is called Five Horses".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for a wife. What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian name. It mean ..."
"NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"

A man goes to the dentist with some broken teeth...

The dentist asks the man what happened, to which the man responds saying:
"My wife cooked some chicken and roti (Indian flatbread) but the bread was very hard and stiff."
The dentist replied: "You should have told her the bread was too hard and refused to eat it"
To which the man responds:
"Man, that's exactly what I did!"
(A joke originally told to me by my grandfather in Urdu)

Translated Indian joke: Don't speak while you're eating.

Husband & Wife dining in a hotel:
Hubby: I wanna tell you something.
Wife: It's not good manners to talk while eating.
.
(After Eating)
Wife: Now tell me.
Hubby: There was a cockroach in your Biryani !!!
Moral:
Listen to your Husband once in a while

A man asked an American Indian for his wife's name...

"She is called Five Horses" He replied.
"That's an unusual name, what does it mean?"
The Indian grimaced. "f**.......NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"

An Indian couple goes through the Airport Check-in...

Handling Agent: ''How old are you?''
Man: I'm dirty, and my wife is dirty-too

Indian wife asks her husband

She asks, " So I have some money to spare, shall I buy a safe or a sari (Indian Women's clothing) ? "
He replies, " Better safe than sari."

How to catch a Tiger?

3 ways to catch a tiger....
Newtons law : allow the tiger to catch u, then u catch the tiger...
Veerappan's law : kidnap tiger's wife and ask the tiger to surrender..
Indian Police Method : Catch a cat and beat it until it agrees it is a tiger...

My wife and I had a long journey because of her illness. Finally we found an Indian doctor deep in the Amazon rainforest who was able to cure her.

Too much salt, if you ask me.

My wife is Indian, i'm Hispanic, she's pregnant with a girl and we felt it kick for the first time today.

Guess we're having a kickin' chica masala.

My wife always cooks Indian food for dinner, even though I hate it.

It's been a recurrying issue

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and sees an Indian staring at his drink . So he takes the Indians drink and drinks it . Then the indian starts to cry . So the man says it's not that bad I'll buy you a new drink if you want . The Indian replys it's not that . The man ask what's the problem. And the indian says this morning I must my alarm and I was late for work then I went to work and I got fired , I come home early and find out my wife is cheating on me . So I come to this bar and I try to commit s**... but then you drink my poison .

An Indian is meeting his future wife via an arranged marriage and he father for the first time...

An Indian is meeting his future wife via an arranged marriage and he father for the first time. Her father is a heart surgeon. At one point in the evening, the father pulls the man aside and says, "There is something you should know about Saanvi before you wed. I am her doctor as well as her father and you need to know that she has acute angina."
To which the future husband replies, "Oh thank the gods, because her face is pretty ugly."

A cowboy is camping when one morning he sees...

A cowboy is camping when one morning he sees an Indian ride by on a horse, with his wife walking behind carrying all her things by hand.
The next day, the same thing, the Indian rides by on his horse with his wife trailing behind carrying all her things by hand.
On the third day, the Indian passes by again, but this time the Cowboy stops him and says, "Hey why are you riding the horse and she has to walk and carry everything by hand?" The Indian looks at him and says, "Well, she doesn't have a horse."

A couple just had their first son , the husband is half irish and half Indian , the wife half chinese and half Italian both wishes to have their son name after their heritage ..

After much argument they decided on the name.
Ravi O'Lee

An Indian shop owner is on his deathbed in hospital.

An Indian shop owner is on his deathbed in hospital. His family comes to visit him as he his waking up from a deep sleep. He looks around the room in a daze and calls out to them.
"Padma, my beautiful wife, are you here"
"Yes I am here my husband", she says
"Kajol, my daughter, are you here"
"Yes I am here father", she says
"Suren, My son, are you here"
"Yes I am here father", he says
"Well, if all of you are here, then who is looking after the b**... shop" yells the father

[old indian joke] while on a tour of Tajmahal, the guide was explaining how Shahjahan built this tomb for his wife due to grief.

My wife asked : would you build me one like this ?
I replied " I already bought vacant land, now it's your turn" .

Made some Indian food for dinner the other night. While telling my wife what was in it, I said I'd used butter in one part, but wished I'd had some ghee instead. She looked at me quizzically, and I continued "Because it's more traditionally Indian."

"Ah," she replied. "Thanks for clarifying."
 
Note: this actually happened! She's a gem and I'm keeping her.

A man walks into a bar...

A man, his wife, a group of nuns, a priest, a rabbi, Little Johnny, an American, a Russian, an Irishman, an Indian, a blonde, a brunette, a redhead, a cop, a king, a lawyer, a politician, and a dog walk into a bar.
The man exclaims,
"This has to be a joke!"

The great ancient Indian mathematician, Aryabhatta, asked his wife: "Will you let me go out alone & enjoy myself with my friends over every weekend, every month?"

Wife: "What is the probability of me saying yes as per your calculation ?" That's when Aryabhatta discovered zero!!!

jokes about indian wife