Indi Jokes
138 indi jokes and hilarious indi puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about indi that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Indi Short Jokes
Short indi jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The indi humour may include short curry jokes also.
- How many indie bands does it take to change a light bulb? Eh, it's some number you've probably never heard of.
- A hobbyist metalsmith was arrested for displaying his handmade pennies in public. What was he charged with? Indie-cent exposure.
- Struggle is Watching a match between England and West Indies, on a black and white television. Turn the brightness up and one team disappears, turn it down and the other does.
- If you made a wall hanging out of cheap necklaces bought from the merch tables at small, underground rock concerts... Would you have a Decoration of Indie Pendants?
- Two cockney men were talking... The first one says "So my wife sailed to the West Indies last year". The other one asks "Jamaica?". The first man answers "No, she went on her own accord".
- Teacher And Student Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor. - Why are indie band CDs always so quiet? Because even if you try to give them away for free, everyone always turns them down.
- Dad: Your mother is going to the West Indies soon. Son: Where? Jamaica?
Dad: No, she wanted to go. - I say, I say, I say, my wife's gone to the *East* Indies...! "Djakarta?"
"No, no, she flew". - Being a Geologist is pretty easy, all you need to know is the 3 types of rock Indie, Alternative, and Punk
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Indi One Liners
Which indi one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with indi? I can suggest the ones about ques and naan.
- Why do hipsters love Raiders of the Lost Ark? Because it's the first Indy movie.
- Is it wrong to hate a certain race? Because I'm not really a fan of the Indy 500
- Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford? Because he's Indie!
- I love indie movies Me too, the best one is the first one with the snakes
- Where do Arctic Monkeys store their food to keep it cool. Indie fridge.
- I prefer Indy car over Nascar... ...I guess that makes me racist.
- Why did the race car driver have an upset stomach? He had "Indy"gestion
- The only indie movie I like is Raiders of the Lost Ark
- If Harrison Ford's son were in the Navy, what would be his favorite city? Indy-Annapolis
- I once met a musician from Indianapolis He made Indy music
- What is my dentist's favorite indie band? Fluoride and the Machine
- You never know which way Indiana Jones' necklace will vote It's an Indy-pendant.
- Tesla will never win The Indy 500.
- What do you call a starting indie dev? No Game No Life
- Sorry if I come off as racist. But Indy Car racing is more exciting than Nascar, too me.
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Indi Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about indi you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flatbread jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make indi pranks.
I went to an Indian restaurant and ordered a Pelican curry...
...it wasn't a bad meal, but the bill was enormous.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Indian Father
**Indian boy:** Daddy I want to be an actor.
**Father:** Son, its pronounced *doctor*
An indian and a white man are walking through the woods...
and the white man is trying to learn how to hunt game from the indian. So the indian is moving quickly and quietly through the dense forest and the white man is fumbling loudly behind him. Suddenly, the indian stops short and presses his cheek up against a large tree. He then exclaims,
*"Moose come."*
The white man is baffled by how the indian discovered this and says, *"How do you know that?"*
Indian: *"Cheek sticky."*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Indian Taxi Driver
My regular Indian taxi driver picked me up whilst singing along to his c**... Punjabi music at the top of his voice.
He smiled when I pulled out my set of new ear plugs, "Looks like you've come prepared this time," he said laughing.
I smiled back at him, "Yes," I replied, as I put them up my nostrils.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Indian friend of mine used to hit his wife every night at 7.30...
..on the dot.
The Indian police gave up on a recent case...
Turns out it was a naan-issue.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do indie kids s**... at karate?
They never got past the white belt.
An Indian man arrives at the reception of a hotel...
An Indian man arrives at the reception of a hotel and asks for a room for the night. The receptionist says "of course, sir, do you have a reservation?"
To which he replies "I'm not that kind of Indian!"
*Indian Accent* I would make a your mom joke...
but cows are sacred in my country.
Why were the Indians here first?
They had reservations.
Indian drunk guy
An Indian guy just purchased a bottle of whiskey. And was walking back to home. It was dark and he stumbled upon something and fell on the gound. He felt a little wet near his pocket where he kept the whiskey bottle. He touches the place and prays to god ' Oh God hopefully this is blood'.
Indian On The Road
I'm driving from Santa Fe to Albuquerque when I see an American Indian lying on the road with his ear to the ground. Curious, I pull over, walk up to him and ask, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" He says, "Silver 1991 Chevy station wagon, one man, one woman, two children". I say, "Wow, you can tell all that just by listening to the road?" He says, "Heck no, they just ran me over".
What do Indian movie stars play at the beach?
Bollyball
An Indian guy is getting a job at a call center for copy machine support
The interviewer decides to test his knowledge of mixing light vs. Mixing pigments by asking him to use green, pink, and yellow in the same sentence about his job.
He says "When the phone goes 'green green', I pink it up and say 'Yellow?'"
Why doesn't India celebrate halloween?
No Gandhi
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Indians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Your laughter is important to us.
You punchline will be delivered in the order in which it was requested.
Indian with his ear to the ground.
A man walking down a road happens upon an Indian with his ear to the ground.
"do you hear something?" the man asks.
The Indian says "a red wagon, two horses, family of five, heading north"
"you can tell all of that just putting your ear to the ground!? " the man asked.
"No, they just ran me over"
Indian Restaurant
I went to an Indian restaurant. The waiter brought out a basket of stale flatbread before realizing his mistake and bringing a fresh one. I would have complained, but it was a naan-issue.
What do Indians live in?
Poverty. :(
Two individuals decide to spend ramadan together...
They were fast friends!
In India, 'Married At First Sight' would be called 'How I Met Your Mother'
What's the Indian way of saying 'Bread of Heaven'?
Is it:
A) Holy Loaf
B) Sacred baguette
Or C) Naan of the above
Why don't Indians eat baguette?
Because there's naan there.
The Indian lady on the train.
Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing.
I thought she was dead until I saw the red spot on her forehead, and realised she was just on standby.
My Indian friend taught me an authentic Punjabi dance. I've got some real Sikh moves.
Looks like the Indian bakery nearby is going through some tough times...
... I've just heard they've fired all Naan-essential staff.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Indian colleague asked me if black Friday is some how related to black people, I said yes and its manners to wish them "Happy b**... Friday".
Do Indian restaurants have any bread?
Nah, they have Naan.
Why did the Indian not show up for work?
He was Sikh.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
Indian restaurants make most of their money off of the bread..
They're naan-profit organizations.
At Indian Restaurant
"Those triangular pastry parcels with the spicy filling were delicious!"
"Samosa?"
"No, thank you, I'm full now."
Indian wedding
My girlfriend had to go to a wedding. I asked her whose wedding, and she told me that her friend, who is Indian, parents got divorced and now her dad is getting married for the second time. So asked her "Is it a rearranged marriage?"
I've got indigestion...
Don't ask me how I know. Just a gut feeling i guess
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?
They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.
I got Indian food with a friend and paid for all the bread
It was a nan issue.
What did the Indian man name his sandwich shop?
New Delhi
:D
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I want to see where the indians live....
But I have my reservations.
What do Indian Flowers grow?
Patels.
An Indian man is at home...
An Indian man is at home, cooking for his family. He is a very wealthy scientist, so he was able to purchase a tandoor. Tonight he decides to break it in. As he takes his bread out, he notices something strange. It almost falls apart in his hands. As he gets it on the plate, it turns into a viscous liquid. Amazed, he began trying to figure out what this was. After several minutes of keeping his family waiting, he let's out an audible "Aha!" He then proceeds to slam his fist onto the bread. Miraculously, the bread held together and almost seemed to form a solid.
"Just as I thought." He says.
"A Naan-Newtonian Fluid."
They say that Indian Cooks are a jack of all trades...
But a master of naan.
My girlfriend said this to me when we were getting indian food tonight.
In India, you don't drive on the left of the road..
you drive on what is left on the road.
Q: Why don't Indians play football?
A: Because every time they get a corner they open up a shop or a seven eleven.
Indian Instincts
There was an Indian chief who wanted to show his son the way of the woods. He gets on the ground and hears a noise.
"Buffalo come."
"How do you know?"
"Ground shaky."
The boy wanted to try. He gets on the ground, listens.
"Man come."
"Is there a vibration?"
"No."
"Then how do you know?"
"Ground sticky."
How many Indians eat beef?
Naan.
Does Indiana Jones like foreplay?
No, he just whips it out.
I took my Indian friend to a Persian restaurant
He said the pita was second to naan.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Indian joke translated to english
A teenage girl wearing a skirt climbing up a staircase sees boys on the ground floor looking up and laughing. She goes to her mom and complains.
Girl: "Mom, boys saw me climbing up the stairs and were laughing"
Mom: "Oh dear, they must be laughing cuz they could see your p**..."
Girl: "But I wasn't wearing any!"
We Indians have proved that
We can't only overload taxi's, auto's, buses, trains, lorries but also Satellites.
India and pakistan calling each other out
Kashmir Outside
What did Indian say to mum when he left?
Mumbai.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was the Indian named Brown Behind?
Because he had no TP.
So, an Indian went to the US embassy
to get a visa for a visit to his friend placed there. When asked where he was going, he replied,"San Jose"...!
The immigration officer corrected that San Jose is pronounced ''San Hose'' ...J is pronounced as ''H''
'' So how long is your stay in San Jose?''
"7 months; from Hanuary to Huly."
As an Indian man
It greatly offends me when people say we don't value women in our culture. The fact is, we put great value on our women.
Some are worth one cow, some are worth two...
An Indian restaurant hired a contractor to remodel their place...
...They specifically wanted a tan door.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why India never qualified for football World Cup?
Because every time they got a corner ,they opened up a shop .
What is India known to produce the most of?
Indians
Where do Indians go when they die?
Heven-eleven
Indian wife asks her husband
She asks, " So I have some money to spare, shall I buy a safe or a sari (Indian Women's clothing) ? "
He replies, " Better safe than sari."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Indian GF said I could give her a f**......
I nearly came on the spot!
Do you know why Indian bakeries are open 24/7?
Because they bake naan stop.
How does an Indian girl tell her family she will be wearing a Western dress to her wedding?
"Sorry, not Sari."
What's Indian Women's favorite movie?
"The Big Sikh".
An Indian and a cowboy were buffalo hunting together
The Indian suddenly knelt down, pressed his ear against the ground and said "Buffalo come."
The cowboy was amazed by this and asked him "how do you know this?"
The Indian replied: "Sticky."
Why did the Indian programmer divide by zero?
To get NaN.
What does an Indian do when he's cold?
He shivas
I just saw an Indian guy shaking a piece of carpet outside his door.
I said, "Whats up, Won't it start?"
What did my Indian mom say to my Indian aunt just as she was at the door leaving after dinner?
they are still exchanging goodbyes
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This Indian man I know beats his wife
every night he hits her at the same time. Always at 7:00. Right on the Dot.
How about an Indian joke?
A nice Indian woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts "Is there a doctor here?"
A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: "I am. What is the problem?"
She replies: "Do you want to meet my daughter?"
Indian parents don't usually throw surprise parties for their kids...
But when they do, it's called an ARRANGED MARRIAGE.
What has India done for the world?
They invented literally nothing.
At an Indian restaurant, can you order bread as an appetizer?
Or is that a naan-starter?
What did the Indian god say when a peasant asked for a better life
Have you tried turning yourself on and off
again?
Indians Robbing a Bank
An Indian man tries to rob a bank. He walks out of the bank with no money. The getaway driver asks him Where's the money? And why do you have so many computers? The bank robber replies They thougth I was tech support.
What does an indifferent cow say?
Meh.
Why would Indians make great basketball coaches?
They invented Curry
Why getting Indian Food at a Gas Station is the best idea?
If the food is too spicy, you'll also receive free gas.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
in india, muslim guy used to get divorce just bay saying the word 'talaq' 3 times. i found a joke based on it.
Wife: What I really hate about this house is the lack...
Husband: the lack....
Wife: the lack!
Husband: the lack?
Wife: yeah the lack of...
Husband: the lack o-
Wife: aye Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf
Husband: Damnnnnnn Fatima.
An indian lady visited a bar for the first time
She was nervous but sat on one tall stool in front of the bartender.
The guy sitting on her left said: "Jack Daniels, Single"
The guy on her right side ordered: "Johnny Walker, Single"
Then the bartender looked at the lady & said: And you..?
The lady replied: "Parmjeet kaur, Married.
