Index Jokes
34 index jokes and hilarious index puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about index that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for the best index jokes? This article has collected a list of the funniest jokes about heat index, index fingers, Sauron, and even political and corporate corruption. See which one you find the funniest!
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Funniest Index Short Jokes
Short index jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The index humour may include short collection jokes also.
- LPT: Laminate your index cards when studying. Not only does it prevent smearing, but the teardrops actually roll right off.
- I just accidentally super-glued my thumb & index finger together, and at first started to panic… But then I remembered that it's always going to be okay.
- I just found out a friend of mine had their appendix removed... ... so I asked what the surgical team had decided to do with the forward, introduction, contents, glossary and index?
- Learning to read Braille with my index finger hasn't been easy so far In fact, it's been a pretty bumpy ride
- Yesterday at the gym I was looking at the Height/Body Mass index Apparently I'm 4 inches too short
- I found five orphaned kittens and decided to foster them. I named them Thumb, Index, Middle, Ring, and Pinky. They sure are a handful to raise.
- 50 shades of grey Girl 1: Hey have you read yet?
Girl 2: Yes! From cover to cover!
Girl 1: And the index?
Girl 2: Exhausted... - New York City just published its annual index of the death rates caused by plunging from balconies Sadly, they're still falling
- What's the difference between novocaine and an index finger? One's a digit divisible by two, the other is a prime number.
- Some people press the button in the elevator with their thumb and others press it with their index finger. Why? To get to the right floor.
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Index One Liners
Which index one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with index? I can suggest the ones about list and reference.
- Goals: 0) Start indexing at zero
- So my best friend had his index finger amputated in an accident. That's dis-a-pointing.
- The truth is out there; it just hasn't been indexed well.
- I accidentally glued my index finger to my thumb It's OK
Index Finger Jokes
Here is a list of funny index finger jokes and even better index finger puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Some people tell me the index finger is the wrong one for a wedding ring... I tell them I'm married to the wrong woman
- Ladies, want to sound like Cher when you sing? Just strum your index finger over your lips at the end of each line.
- My friend told me a story about how he lost his index finger tip. It was a bit point-less.
Silly Index Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about index you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean view jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make index pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde was rushed to the hospital
A blonde was rushed to the hospital with a bullet wound in her index finger.
Doctor: how did this happen?
Blonde: I tried to s**....
Doctor: you shot your finger for s**...?
Blonde: No, I shot in my ear. But just before pulling the trigger, I realized that there would be a loud bang, so I closed my other ear with my finger.
Blonde Inventions
The water-proof towel
Glow in the dark sunglasses
Solar powered flashlight
Submarine screen door
A book on how to read
Inflatable dart board
A dictionary index
Powdered water
Pedal powered wheel chair
Water proof tea bags
Zero proof alcohol
Reusable ice cubes
Skinless bananas
Do it yourself roadmap
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like to imagine my fingers as the races of Middle Earth...
The thumb is the dwarf because it's stout
The pinkie is the hobbit because it's diminutive
The index is the elf because it's the most dexterous
The ring is the human because they were given the most rings
And the middle is the orc... because it's the rudest
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A brunette, A redhead, and A blonde....
Enter an elevator and spot something on the floor.
The brunette immediately says "Eww, that's s**...".
The redhead, touches it with her index finger and rubs it with her thumb together and says "Yup, definitely s**...".
The blonde, touches it, rubs it between her fingers and tastes it and says: "Yup, definitely s**..., and it's not from anyone in this building."
Jimmy goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
Jimmy says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. When I touch my knee it hurts! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
Jimmy was diagnosed with a broken index finger later that day.
A ladiesman and his friend were in a club...
The friend asked him if he could show him on of his tricks. The ladiesman smiled and pointed to a girl across the dancefloor and moved his index finger to let her to he wanted her to come near him
The lady got close and asked him "what's up". The ladiesman look her right in the eyes and told her: "If you came with just one finger, imagine what can I do with two of them."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Roman Bois
Two romans went to a bar, one roman raised his index finger and middle finger to the waiter. When the waiter arrived with two beers, the two romans were mad and went out the bar. o**... told the waiter, "Boi, you are dumb."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Listening to Metal music quietly is like being a guy with no index fingers...
...Pointless.
Corruption Perceptions Index
My country, Hungary finally moved up five places on the Corruption Perceptions Index.
It wasn't cheap, but it was definitely worth even penny.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy goes to his proctologist...
While the doc was getting ready for the exam, the man asked "So how did you get into proctology?" The doctor goes, "Well, I wanted to be a Gynecologist, **holds up thumb and index finger** but I missed it by this much"
50 shades of grey
Girl 1: have you read ?
Girl 2: yep from cover to cover!
Girl 1: what about the index?
Gorl 2: tired from over use...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Suicidal Blonde
A blonde hurries into the hospital emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit s**...," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit s**... by shooting off the tip of your finger?"
"No, silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought 'I just paid $6000 for these, I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'"
"So, then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3000 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'"
"So, then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought 'This is going to make a loud noise,' so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
