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Index Finger Jokes

34 index finger jokes and hilarious index finger puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about index finger that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Index Finger Short Jokes

Short index finger jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The index finger humour may include short ring finger jokes also.

  1. I just accidentally super-glued my thumb & index finger together, and at first started to panic… But then I remembered that it's always going to be okay.
  2. A man went to his doctor... Man: When i press here it hurts, when i press a little bit higher up it hurts and if i press on my leg it also hurts.
    Doctor: Looks like you broke your index finger.
  3. Why are women bad at parking? Because men have told them that this (*holds thumb and index finger 2 inches apart*) is 8 inches.
  4. So a Roman walks into a bar... He makes a 'two' sign with his index and middle finger and says :
    I'd like five beers please.
  5. It's impossible for the knuckle of your ring finger and the knuckle of your index finger to touch while giving the bird Haha. I just made you flick yourself off.
  6. Learning to read Braille with my index finger hasn't been easy so far In fact, it's been a pretty bumpy ride
  7. I just accidentally superglued my thumb and index finger together and at first, I started to panic. But then I remembered... That it's always going to be okay...
  8. What's the difference between novocaine and an index finger? One's a digit divisible by two, the other is a prime number.
  9. Some people press the button in the elevator with their thumb and others press it with their index finger. Why? To get to the right floor.
  10. Some people tell me the index finger is the wrong one for a wedding ring... I tell them I'm married to the wrong woman

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Index Finger One Liners

Which index finger one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with index finger? I can suggest the ones about index and pointing finger.

  1. So my best friend had his index finger amputated in an accident. That's dis-a-pointing.
  2. I accidentally glued my index finger to my thumb It's OK

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about index finger can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of index finger puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Index Finger Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about index finger you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean stick finger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make index finger prank.

A blonde was rushed to the hospital

A blonde was rushed to the hospital with a bullet wound in her index finger.
Doctor: how did this happen?
Blonde: I tried to s**....
Doctor: you shot your finger for s**...?
Blonde: No, I shot in my ear. But just before pulling the trigger, I realized that there would be a loud bang, so I closed my other ear with my finger.

I like to imagine my fingers as the races of Middle Earth...

The thumb is the dwarf because it's stout
The pinkie is the hobbit because it's diminutive
The index is the elf because it's the most dexterous
The ring is the human because they were given the most rings
And the middle is the orc... because it's the rudest

A brunette, A redhead, and A blonde....

Enter an elevator and spot something on the floor.
The brunette immediately says "Eww, that's s**...".
The redhead, touches it with her index finger and rubs it with her thumb together and says "Yup, definitely s**...".
The blonde, touches it, rubs it between her fingers and tastes it and says: "Yup, definitely s**..., and it's not from anyone in this building."

Jimmy goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."


The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
Jimmy says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. When I touch my knee it hurts! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
Jimmy was diagnosed with a broken index finger later that day.

Man goes to doctor and says: Everywhere on my body hurts! Am I dying?

Doctor says: Can you point to where it hurts and show me?
Man points at head: Ow! Points at shoulder: Ow! Points at knee: Ow! Points at belly: Ow!
Doctor examines him and says: Nope you're not dying, you just have a broken index finger.

A ladiesman and his friend were in a club...

The friend asked him if he could show him on of his tricks. The ladiesman smiled and pointed to a girl across the dancefloor and moved his index finger to let her to he wanted her to come near him
The lady got close and asked him "what's up". The ladiesman look her right in the eyes and told her: "If you came with just one finger, imagine what can I do with two of them."

Roman Bois

Two romans went to a bar, one roman raised his index finger and middle finger to the waiter. When the waiter arrived with two beers, the two romans were mad and went out the bar. o**... told the waiter, "Boi, you are dumb."

Listening to Metal music quietly is like being a guy with no index fingers...

...Pointless.

Blonde joke

A blonde goes to the doctor. She uses her right index finger, says it hurts when I touch my leg, my collar bone and my arm. "What's wrong?" She says.
"Your finger is broken."

Ladies, want to sound like Cher when you sing?

Just strum your index finger over your lips at the end of each line.

My friend told me a story about how he lost his index finger tip.

It was a bit point-less.

A guy goes to his proctologist...

While the doc was getting ready for the exam, the man asked "So how did you get into proctology?" The doctor goes, "Well, I wanted to be a Gynecologist, **holds up thumb and index finger** but I missed it by this much"

Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"

An medical forensics professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students.

Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear. Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse's a**..., withdrew it, then licked his finger. Now you must do the same, he told the class. After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed.
Second, the professor continued, you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this man's a**..., but licked my index finger?

Dads favorite medical school joke.

Medical students were attending their 1st biochemistry class. They all gathered around the Lab table with a u**... sample. The professor dip his finger in u**... & tasted it in his own mouth.  Then he asked the students to do the same. The students hesitated for several minutes, but at last every one dipped their finger in u**... sample & tasted it.... When everyone finished, the professor looked at them & said: The most important quality is 'Observation'.  I dipped my MIDDLE Finger but tasted the INDEX Finger. Today you just learn, how to pay attention.

A police officer pulls a man over for driving all over the road...

...and discovers the man has clearly been drinking.
Officer: "You'll have to come with me for a breathalyzer test, sir."
Man: "I'm afraid I can't do that officer, I'm ams-- *hic* alths-- I'm asthmatic. I could have an episode."
O: "I see. In that case, I'll need to take you down to the station for a blood test."
M: "I can't do that either, see, because I'm a helmpho-- a hemophiliac. I could bleed out."
O: "*sigh*... okay, just stand right there and hold your arms out to your sides, tilt your head straight back, and touch your nose with your right index finger."
M: "I'm afraid I can't do that either, because I.................."
O: "What, you have vertigo?"
M: "Yes! Sorry, I can't think very fast after 14 beers!"

Father in delivery room

A woman is all ready to give birth to her first baby. The doctor, obstetrician, and nurses are all waiting for the birth. The doc checks for any signs of progress and suddenly he feels something moving, pulls back his hand and this little head pops out, sees the doc and asks him, "Are you my daddy?" "No, I'm not," the doctor replies. The head pops back in.
Then the obstetrician goes over to check out the situation. The baby pops out his head and asks him, "Are you my daddy?" "Nope, I didn't do it," and the baby pops back in.
The doctor calls the father and says, "Sir, the baby seems to be reluctant to come out---he keeps asking for his father. Would you please come to the delivery room?" So the father is standing there and the baby pops his head out again, and seeing his father the little one asks in an annoyed voice, "Are YOU my daddy?"
Dad kneels down and answers proudly, "Yes, son, I am your lucky father!"
The baby starts tapping his index finger violently and repeatedly on his father's forehead and asks, "This is pretty annoying, isn't it?"

Suicidal Blonde

A blonde hurries into the hospital emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit s**...," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit s**... by shooting off the tip of your finger?"
"No, silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought 'I just paid $6000 for these, I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'"
"So, then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3000 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'"
"So, then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought 'This is going to make a loud noise,' so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

So the army is forced to cut the pensions of some of their veterans...

In order to repay the veterans for their service they bring in three veterans. They tell the three that they will be reimbursed in money, in that each one can choose two points of their body, and the distance between the two will be how much money they receive.
Anyway, the first man goes and says, "I'll have my outstretched wingspan measured."
His wingspan is 160cm, so he is given $160.
The second man chooses the top of his head and his feet.
His height is 175cm, so he is given $175.
The third man steps up and says, "I'll have the distance from my right palm to my right index finger."
The military people first are confused, but then the man taking the measurements looks at his hand.
"Where's your right index finger, soldier?"
The veteran smiles and says, "Back where I lost it, in Vietnam."

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.


“How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her.
“Well, I was trying to commit s**...,” the blonde replied.
“What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit s**... by shooting your finger off?”
“No silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.”
“So then?” asked the doctor.
“Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.”
“So then?”
“Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these index finger jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.