The Best 44 Independence Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Independence jokes. There are some independence separatists jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these independence usa puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Independence Jokes and Puns

Valentine's Day for people who are single.

For people who are sad about being single: it's called Single Awareness Day

For people who are happy about being single: it's called Single Independence Day

For people who just don't care about being single: it's just called Thursday

For people like me: I call it Date With My Right Hand otherwise known as Everyday

If Alcoholics Had Written The Declaration Of Independence

would we have government of the pickled, by the pickled, and for the pickled?

Scotland's Independence

David Cameron has said Scotland could become a third world country if they become independent.
I'm not sure if things will improve to that degree, but you never know

Independence joke, Scotland's Independence

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

Happy Independence Day!

oh wait...

(Groan inducing): Why was it necessary to have official witnesses at the signing of the Declaration of Independence?

Because it's not a republic without a notary public.

Scotland highly likely to have another independence referendum

"If at first you don't secede, try again."

Independence joke, Scotland highly likely to have another independence referendum

The UK is leaving the EU and because of that, Scotland is moving for another Independence Referendum...

So the english are going to get away scot free!

My boyfriend broke up with me today

He said he wanted to celebrate Independence day

Happy Independence Day!!!

This is probably the last time I get to say that.

69 years ago

both India and Pakistan got independence on this day.

Indians have become heads of Google, Microsoft, Pepsico, Jaguar, Land Rover and

Pakistanis have become heads of Taliban, Al-Qaeda, Jammat U Dawa, Hijbul Mujahideen

Also India entered Mars but Pakistan still trying to enter India.

You can explore independence americas reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean independence urination dad jokes. There are also independence puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

At the bottom of the page

4th July

If the 4th of July is independence Day, why isn't 17th February Shawshank redemption day? It was a much better film.

I texted my buddy 'you free this evening?'

He texted back a selfie featuring his red, white and blue cap 'I'm free every evening'

(I know it's not your typical joke but I laughed when I got it). Have a happy and safe Independence Day, USA!

I want to take the opportunity to thank France for supporting American independence

If it wasn't for the French, America would be speaking English right now

The Kurds want independence

but they can't always get their whey.

Independence joke, The Kurds want independence

2 of my pets just packed their bags and left home!

"It is Cat... alans that have declared independence", I screamed up the road after them.

Catalonia declared independence. What now?

Everybody expects the Spanish imposition.

America has the Declaration of Independence, but what does Youtube have?

The Lincoln Description

What do you say to your single friends on Valentine's Day?

Happy Independence Day!

What type of dance did the American colonists like?


My wife must be feeling patriotic today...

... because she just declared her independence.

Independence day.

Doctor: would you say you are independent?
Me: *looks over to mom*
Mom: *nods*
Me: yes, I am.

George Washington led an army on Christmas to ensure U.S. Independence

and as a History major, I'm proud that I too will work this walmart selling batteries

What's the Difference Between February 14th and July 4th?

There isn't any, at least to me, because they're both Independence Day.

What does a woman want?


What does a man want?

Happy Woman's Day!!

How did Slovakia gain independence?

By bouncing a czech.

How many Feminists does it take to change a lightbulb

6. 1 to change it, and 5 to tearfully document what a empowering moment of independence it is.

My ex said my package was like the Declaration of Independence.

because it could be mailed with just a stamp

Where is the freedom of a slave whose hobby is making necklaces?


My girlfriend broke up with me on July 4th.

She said she needed more independence.

Why aren't there any Independence Day knock knock jokes?

Why aren't there any Independence Day knock knock jokes?

Cuz freedom \*rings\*

Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings!

Happy Independence Day my fellow Americans!

Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.

Fire-works on 4th of July.

Why doesn't America knock?

Because Freedom Rings. Happy Independence Day!

Today we celebrate Independence Day!

For those that don't know their history, this was the day in 1996 that Will Smith saved the Earth from aliens.

My sister made 44 cupcakes with an assortment of red, white, and blue frosting for an Independence Day dinner.

"Why 44?" I asked her. "Because that's the number of real presidents this country has actually had?"

(This actually just happened.)

This 4th of July, the British should celebrate Independence Day too.

Now they feel like they dodged a bullet.

What's the largest export of Great Britain?

Independence days

UK is a very generous country

It is the largest supplier of Independence day to countries around the world.

I broke up with my girlfriend on the 4th of July...

It was a Declaration of Independence.

After what happened at the U.S. Captiol

I am no longer impressed that Nicholas Cage managed to steal the Declaration of Independence.

The U.K. government have predicted that Scotland could become a third world country if they gain independence.

I don't know if things will improve to that extent but fingers crossed for them.

Pluses in the Soviet Union

Two Ukrainians are drinking together. Between shots of vodka, they are discussing many issues. One of the men was but a very young child when the Soviet Union dissolved and Ukraine and the other former member states gained their independence. Having very little recollection of what life was like back then, he asked the older man, Tell me, my good friend, were there pluses in the Soviet Union? The older man replied, There were. They were printed on batteries.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the independence liberation jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working independence independently piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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