The Best 39 Increased Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Increased jokes. There are some increased substantial jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these increased budget puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Increased Jokes and Puns

At The Eye Doctor's

A woman went to her optometrist for an exam. The doctor turned the exam chart on the wall and asked her to read it. she replied that she couldn't see anything. He increased the size to 6″ and asked her to try again. Still nothing.

So he enlarged it again to a foot. Still cant see it. out of frustration he pulled out his manhood, and asked if she could see it. She said Oh yes Dr i can see it quite clearly.

He said, Just as I thought, you're cockeyed.

FBI responds to increased number of botched investigations resulting in civilian casualties

By adding a new definition for "botched" to urban dictionary; successful

Celebrity Big Brother viewing figures have already increased by 800k since Katie Price entered the house.

That's because all her ex's are now watching.

Increased joke, Celebrity Big Brother viewing figures have already increased by 800k since Katie Price entered the h

What do African-Americans and Jews have in common?

An increased risk for pancreatic adenocarcinoma.

Yo momma's so fat

that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.


Never put women on a pedestal.

The increased height will expand their field of vision and they might see dudes more buff than you.

Trump isn't bad for the economy.

Because of him, Correct the Record increased it's operational budget by 600%.

Increased joke, Trump isn't bad for the economy.

Side effects may include increased or decreased intelligence, headaches, red eyes, loss of sleep, drowsiness, suicidal thoughts, narcolepsy, unsuppressed crying, and death.

Ask your doctor if you should take school today.

The popularity of origami has increased

ten fold.

Handgun owners have a 2% increased rate of suicide.

If we could get that up to 10%, Democrats stand a chance in 2020.

Recently, I noticed the price at the air pumps has dramatically increased. Why is this?

Inflation

You can explore increased mortality reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean increased capacity dad jokes. There are also increased puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Traffic accidents

A Frenchman and an Englishman are talking at a bar:

Frenchman: "Did you hear, in France they lowered the the amount of alcohol you can drink before driving. But now car accidents have significantly increased"

Englishman: " Wow, how can that be?"

Frenchman: " Well its because if a man drinks wine with a meal at a restaurant, his wife has to drive him home"

In just 24 hours, my level in English has increased dramatically.

I understood almost all words from the presidential press conference.

Realizing that the AT-AT doesn't have enough armor around the back, the Empire released a new batch with increased armor...

and called them the PHAT-ATs

People who eat bacon...

People who eat bacon have a higher risk of a heart attack.

People who don't have an increased risk of bringing the twin towers down.

My great grandfather once worked in a WW2 aircraft factory.

*"Our factory closed down on account of increased B-24 production"*, he said.

*"Why is that?"*, I asked. *"Did the military favor the B-24 over your aircraft?"*

*"The military hated the B-24!"*, he snapped back. *"It always flew above flak and our Focke-Wulfs couldn't hit them either."*

Increased joke, My great grandfather once worked in a WW2 aircraft factory.

American standards have increased so much...

that they are all double standards now

As of recent, Indias economy has drastically grown overtaking European economies....

I put it down to increased exports of white cotton sheets to the US.

The sexual position known as 69 is now called 96.

Due to inflation, the cost of eating out has increased.


Me: I can't believe it increased by 1500%.

Professor: I'm sick of hearing about BITCOIN! Nothing can increase by that much and still be a good investment.

Me: I was talking about the price of college tuition since 1980...

When people lose one sense, other senses usually get enhanced.

That is why individuals with no sense of Humor
have increased sense of self-importance and narcissism.

Alligators can live up to 100 years...

Which is why there's an increased chance that they will see you later.

TIL: Sales of shredded cheese have increased over the past year

Which means that Trump didn't make America grate again.

Today, I was followed by a stranger

My followers increased.

My restaurant got a new German chef yesterday

He's already increased the efficiency of our ovens and thrown away all the bad juice

People say marijuana makes you high

But I've not increased in height, only in width

I have to admit that my wife's cooking has really increased my fondness for her.

She didn't taste that well raw

My sex life just got a whole lot better...

Frontier increased my download speed from 1.5Mbs to 15.

Ever since learning the meaning of the word exponentially my use of the word exponentially has increased

loads

What happened to the vertigo stricken function when it's Z increased?

It got dz.

What do we want?

Increased funding for Alzheimer's research!
When do we want it?
When do we want what?

Ever since I started using the word exponentially.

Ever since I learned the word exponentially and started to use it, my use of the word exponentially increased a lot.

School shootings in the U.S. have only increased in frequency in the past few years

Between the increased interest in photography class and the heroin epidemic, I've lost enough friends

Smartphones are a lot like dairy cows...

They become more valuable with increased mammary space.

Has the number of flat-earthers increased due to globalisation?

Yes.

Man informs the bank 3months after his credit card got hacked

OC: Why didn't you inform us as soon as you came to know you card got hacked?

Man: Because the thief was spending less than my wife did.

OC: So why inform us now?

Man: The spending rate has 4x increased, seems like the thief's wife has started using it

Did you hear how there's a national coin shortage?

The U.S. Mint's production of about 1 billion coins per month has been slowed due to COVID-19 safety precautions for the workers.

The good news is that they've overcome the bottlenecks and will be overclocking their machines for increased production. They plan on averaging 1.65 billion coins per month for the rest of the year 2020.

So I guess you could say the coins will return next quarter.

"What do we want???"

"Increased funding for Alzheimer's research!!!"

"When do we want it???"

"When do we want what???"

I've become much more attractive during the pandemic

My gravity increased.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the increased decrease jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working increased standards piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes