Income Tax Jokes
28 income tax jokes and hilarious income tax puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about income tax that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Income Tax Short Jokes
Short income tax jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The income tax humour may include short taxes jokes also.
- Why doesn't Sherlock Holmes pay any income tax? Because he makes so many brilliant deductions.
- What's the difference between Donald Trump, and someone working at McDonald's ? The guy working at McDonald's has to pay income taxes.
- Why do underground hackers report their income to the IRS? They know how the system will react to sin tax errors
- A man admitted he lied on his income tax return: he listed himself as the head of the household!
- Guess which Avenger paid the least taxes this year? Spiderman, because his entire income was net income
- The difference between the short and long income tax forms is simple.
If you use the short form, the government gets your money.
If you use the long form, the tax advisor gets your money. - A man admitted he lied on his income tax return: he listed himself as the head of the household!
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Income Tax One Liners
Which income tax one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with income tax? I can suggest the ones about paying taxes and pay taxes.
- Everyone should pay their income tax with a smile I tried - but they wanted cash.
- Dog named Tax There once was a dog named Tax. I opened the door and income Tax.
- I need to find a better job I can't even pay my income tax
- What happens to people who don't pay their income taxes? They run for president.
- When it comes time to claiming kids on your income tax. Hood rich
- Why do accountants hate pre-tax income? It's g**....
Cheerful Fun Income Tax Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about income tax you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tax return jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make income tax pranks.
I'm playing Monopoly with Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton...
Trump grabbed Community Chest as fast as he could, is building hotels on properties he doesn't really own and is refusing to pay income tax
Clinton started out with a house on Illinois Ave, somehow always has a "Get out of jail free" card and keeps saying she respects any opponent holding Vermont Ave
However, in the end, I have a feeling neither will be satisfied until they get a house on Pennsylvania Ave
A man took out a lemon in a crowd of people
and squeezed it dry. He said, 'If anyone can squeeze a drop out of this lemon, I'll give them 100 bucks.'
Many people tried and no one could get any juice out of the lemon. Finally, a man came up and squeezed out two drops of lemon juice. Handing him his $100, the first man asked in wonder, 'Who are you?'
The second man replied, 'Income tax officer.'
Afterlife for IRS Cheaters
Tony and his friend John die in a car accident and go to judgment. God tells Tony that because he cheated on his income taxes, the only way he can enter Heaven is to sleep with a s**..., ugly woman for the next five years.
A few days later, as Tony's walking in the park with his s**..., hideous new girlfriend, he spots his friend John with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous woman. "John, what happened?" Tony asks.
"I have no idea," John replies. "I was told I have five years of amazing s**... to look forward to. The only thing I don't understand is why she always yells 'Damn income taxes!' whenever we have s**...."
School days...
Teacher: If income tax is 20% and your dad earns $50,000, how much tax does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: Let's try again. If income tax is 30% and your dad earns $100000, how much does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: Alright, last try. If income tax is %50 and your dad earns $1000000, how much does he pay?
Kid: $100
Teacher: you don't know your percentages.
Kid: you don't know my dad.
A Taxing Situation
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
*As published in "Reader's Digest" 78 years ago.*
A man writes a letter to the IRS . . .
. . . saying "I am unable to sleep because of the guilt I feel for cheating on my taxes. I have underreported my income and am enclosing a check for $1500. If I still can't sleep I will send the rest".
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
A man wrote the IRS saying . . .
. . . "I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I have understated my income and have enclosed a check for $1500. If I still can't sleep I will send the rest".
The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time.
The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach.
Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"
Peter sat at his dying wife's bedside.
Her voice was little more than a whisper. "Pete darling," she breathed, "I've a confession to make before I go... I... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe. I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Alex. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the city. And I am the one who reported your income tax evasion to the government." "Don't give it a second thought, sweetheart. Who do you think gave you the poison?" answered Peter.