The Best 53 Income Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Income jokes. There are some income profit jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these income income tax puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Income Jokes and Puns

So the church is losing money...

...and the friars decide that they need a new income source. To do this, they set up a flower stand, and do a pretty good business selling flowers in the small village. Unfortunately, there is another floral store that is losing business because of the friars. So, they go talk to the friars, telling them to stop selling flowers, because they are losing money. The friars say "no way man, free country, free enterprise."

The owners of the other floral shop decide to get real about these religious flower sellers, so they hire a hitman to go take them out. The hitman, named Hugh, shows up to the friars' store. Hugh, now, he's about 7'1', and 240 pounds of pure muscle. "Hey," he says, "you guys ought to stop sellin flowers." The petrified friars agree that maybe the floral business isn't such a good idea after all, and promptly shut it down.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Ad in the local paper:

25 year old woman, very attractive, beautiful blonde hair, perfect measurements, intelligent, with good sense of humor and stable income - Selling dump truck.

What's the difference between a redneck and a pimp?

To a redneck, a hoedown is a dance. To a pimp it's lost income.

Why doesn't Sherlock Holmes pay any income tax?

Because he makes so many brilliant deductions.

jokes about income

I was researching converting to Mormonism until I found out you have to give them 10% of your income

I guess I'm Jewish.


If everyone contributes a small amount of their income...

Together we can pool the resources to defeat socialism.

What are pornstars paid?

Income.

Income joke, What are pornstars paid?

Europe is in turmoil, but at least I've got some steady income despite the migrant crisis

I own a florist around the corner from the French embassy

What do you pay a hooker with?

Income.

Afterlife for IRS Cheaters

Tony and his friend John die in a car accident and go to judgment. God tells Tony that because he cheated on his income taxes, the only way he can enter Heaven is to sleep with a stupid, ugly woman for the next five years.

A few days later, as Tony's walking in the park with his stupid, hideous new girlfriend, he spots his friend John with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous woman. "John, what happened?" Tony asks.

"I have no idea," John replies. "I was told I have five years of amazing sex to look forward to. The only thing I don't understand is why she always yells 'Damn income taxes!' whenever we have sex."

I'm playing Monopoly with Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton...

Trump grabbed Community Chest as fast as he could, is building hotels on properties he doesn't really own and is refusing to pay income tax

Clinton started out with a house on Illinois Ave, somehow always has a "Get out of jail free" card and keeps saying she respects any opponent holding Vermont Ave

However, in the end, I have a feeling neither will be satisfied until they get a house on Pennsylvania Ave

You can explore income inequality reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean income increase dad jokes. There are also income puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why did the horse apply to work at a farm?

He wanted a stable income.

I need to find a better job

I can't even pay my income tax

HOW TO LIVE?

"Darling," said the young man to his new bride.
"Now that we are married, do you think you will be
able to live on my modest income?"
"Of course, dearest, no trouble," she answered. "But
what will you live on?"

My only form of income is donating blood

It's sucking the life out of me

How To Trigger A Feminist

Feminist: women get paid less than men for the same job

Me: `*shows pornstar income for men and women*`

Feminist: `*Triggered*`

Income joke, How To Trigger A Feminist

Why was the chef was devestated to find a recipe torn out of his cookbook?

...it was his main sauce of income.

Why did the farmer have to supplement his income by DJing at night?

because his Beets were sick

Why do underground hackers report their income to the IRS?

They know how the system will react to sin tax errors


What's the difference between an income that happen ordinarily and accidentally?

One have to be recognized only once as a revenue, the other you have to record again.

Everyone should pay their income tax with a smile

I tried - but they wanted cash.

If a guy loses his source of income

he usually loses also his main source of expenses.

After looking over the BBC wage list on thing has become clear...

Women knowing nothing about cars or football is really hurting their income

I think income based tuition is a terrible idea...

Because art degrees would be free

Who makes more money? A lawn mower or a fisherman?

The lawnmower... he gets grass income while the fisherman gets net income

Protests on TV are demanding diversity, same sex relationships, gender free norms, free healthcare, cultural enrichment, free education, drugs, income equality - I found the perfect place that has all this for them.

Prison.

Income joke, Protests on TV are demanding diversity, same sex relationships, gender free norms, free healthcare,

Even though I've had a steady income and have been paying all my bills on time for a while, Visa still doesn't trust me enough to increase my limit.

They don't give me enough credit.

What's another term for a "dead end job"?

"Income without outcome".

Profit & Loss Statement

Wife asks:
"Why is it that in all marriages the bride sits on the left side and the groom sits on the right?"

Husband's reply:
"Have you ever seen a Profit & Loss Statement? It follows the same logic. All income is posted on the Right and expenses are on the Left!"...


I invented a relish made out of my own cash.

It's my main sauce of income.

If I had a dollar for everytime someone called me a boring nerd..

I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25

Dog named Tax

There once was a dog named Tax. I opened the door and income Tax.

How do prostitutes get paid?

Income

It's interesting how different parts of the country have different ways of saying the same thing.

For instance, in most parts of the country, having an income of $100k or more is called "making six figures".

However, here in San Francisco, we call that same thing "living above the poverty line".


Why do accountants hate pre-tax income?

It's gross.

The easiest way to passive income and free housing benefits

Prison

How do hookers get paid?

Income.

To me, woman's pants are a lot like an exclusive country club.

I'm not getting into either, unless I lie about my income or sneak in the backdoor.

A man wrote the IRS saying . . .

. . . "I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I have understated my income and have enclosed a check for $1500. If I still can't sleep I will send the rest".

Old lady decides to be a prostitute to complement her income

Arriving home, she counts the profit with her husband:
- Its U$100,50.
- Honey, who gave you 50 cents?
- What do you mean "who gave me 50 cents"?! Everyone!

If you tell a really incredible story about making money...

It's an incomparable income parable.

Why couldn't the poor man donate at the sperm bank?

He was too low income

I like my coffee like Hamilton liked the source of his income.

Black, and made by my wife.

The White House has become low income housing and it's main tenant is a broke, deadbeat

There goes the neighborhood!

What's the difference between Donald Trump, and someone working at McDonald's ?

The guy working at McDonald's has to pay income taxes.

After having his title stripped and funds cut off by the Royal Family, Harry has taken up painting to supplement his income.

He's the Artist formerly known as Prince.

How do you know if a fisherman is rich?

Check his net income.

School days...

Teacher: If income tax is 20% and your dad earns $50,000, how much tax does he pay?

Kid: $100

Teacher: Let's try again. If income tax is 30% and your dad earns $100000, how much does he pay?

Kid: $100

Teacher: Alright, last try. If income tax is %50 and your dad earns $1000000, how much does he pay?

Kid: $100

Teacher: you don't know your percentages.

Kid: you don't know my dad.

Sure passive income is great, but do you know how much you can make with passive aggressive income?

You know what, never mind. Forget I even mentioned it…

Horse walks into a bar, bartender asks why the long face?

Horse replies, The bank denied my home loan because I don't have stable income.

A man writes a letter to the IRS . . .

. . . saying "I am unable to sleep because of the guilt I feel for cheating on my taxes. I have underreported my income and am enclosing a check for $1500. If I still can't sleep I will send the rest".

I asked the executioner if he got paid by the job or by the hour...

He said it was a per decapita income.

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the income paid jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working income taxed piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes