inch Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious inch puns

I was blessed with a 9 inch penis.

That priest is in prison now.

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At age 12, Little Johnny was blessed with a nine inch penis.



And three years later, that priest went to prison.

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I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

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At age 13, Little Johnny was blessed with an eight inch penis.

And three years later, that priest went to prison.

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I was blessed with a 9 inch penis (NSFW)

That priest is in jail now

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My girlfriend said having a four inch penis is OK

Still, I wish she didn't have one

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I had my leg x-rayed today.

The doctor told me "your patella measures 2.54 cm"
By surprise I said "Inch high knees?"
The doctor replied "æŠ«èšć·2.54æŠ«èšć·"

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What's 10 inches long, hard as a rock, full of semen and makes all of the ladies scream?

The sock under my bed.

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What's 7 inches long and hasn't been sucked in over 2 years?

Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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What's 12 inches long and snaps a cunt?

A selfie stick

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A drill instructor was yelling at a new recruit

He was all up in this guy's face, their noses less than an inch apart.

He screamed at the recruit, "You hate me don't you?!?"
The recruit responded as calmly as possible, "Sir, no sir."
The instructor yelled back, "You're going to piss on my grave if you outlive me, aren't you?!?"
The recruit retorted, "Sir, no way. When I get out of the service, I will not fucking wait in line for anything! Sir."

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Always remember that children can drown in as little as one inch of water

so please if you are drowning children, don't waste water.

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It's not possible to have a 12 inch penis...

because then it would be considered a foot.

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So far we have four inches of snow on the ground.

Or as my husband would say...seven inches.

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What's four inches long, two inches wide, and drives women crazy?

An empty toilet paper roll.

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Difference between computers and woman

Unlike computers a woman will reject a 3 1/2 inch floppy.

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Catholic

Three old Catholic men and one old Catholic woman were sitting a a table one morning. The first old man said, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room people say Father." The second old man said, "My son is a Bishop, when he walks into a room people say Your Eminence." Third old man says, my son is the Pope, when he walks into a room people say Your Holiness." The old woman says,"My daughter has a 42 inch chest and a 24 inch waist, when she walks into a room people say 'JESUS'."

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Just before my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time...

I told her I was gonna give her 9 inches. Just as long as she was willing to take 3 inch payments

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What musical group is Jesus most afraid of?

Nine Inch Nails

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I was blessed with a 10 inch penis....

But the priest is in jail now.

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18 inch harry..

A first-time John went to a whorehouse. He entered a private room, put $50 on the table and dropped his pants.

At the sight of the man's 18-inch penis, the hooker almost fainted.

"Hold on, pal," she said. "I'll lick it, I'll suck it, but you are not sticking that in me."

The man pulled up his pants, picked up his money and said, "Screw you bitch. I can do those things myself."

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Looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night

Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7.

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I made a huge mistake

I took my girlfriend to Subway, when she got her six inch sub, she looked at me and she instantly knew that I've been lying to her for years.

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whats the difference between a woman and a computer?

a woman wont accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy.

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I'm selling a TV to a middle aged man and his wife.

Me: So it's between the 54 and the 58 inch TV, right?

Husband: Yes, but I don't understand the difference between them.

Me: Well, they have the same specs all the way down the line. One is just bigger.

Husband: Who in the hell would pay almost $350 more for four more inches?

Wife: I would!

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Is your ass a computer?

Because I want to back it up to a 3 inch floppy.

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A father takes his son to the doctor...

After a brief wait, the concerned father brings his son into the examination room, pulls down his pants, points at the kids wiener, and exclaims "DOCTOR!!! IS IT NORMAL FOR A 3 YEAR OLD TO HAVE A FULLY DEVELOPED ADULT SIZED PENIS?!?!?"

The doctor looks down at it and says "It's only an inch and a half!

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A black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy are speeding

They get pulled over by a cop, who decides to humor them. They won't get a ticket if their penis sizes add up to 20 inches. The black guy's dick is 10 inches, the white guy's is 9 inches, and the asian guy's is 1 inch. As they drive away, the black guy says "you're lucky my dick was 10 inches", the white guy says" you're lucky my dick is 9 inches" and the asian says "you're lucky I had a boner."

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What's 9 inches long, purple, and I love to shove it down my girlfriend's throat?

Her miscarriage.

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So, my 3 year old cousin was over this morning.

I needed to grab a quick shower as I let him watch cartoons in the living room. When I came out, there was black permanent marker all over my 55 inch TV screen. I LITERALLY FREAKED OUT. Does anyone know what is best used to clean blood out of a carpet?

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What's 7 inches long and hasn't been sucked in over 4 years?

Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

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It's well known that men can read maps better than women.

But that's because only men can convince themselves an inch is the same thing as 100 miles.

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Today I learnt a school of piranhas will rip

every inch of flesh of a child's body in under a minute.
Today I also lost my job at the aquarium.

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What does a man with a 12 inch penis have for breakfast?

this morning I had bacon and eggs.

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America is converting to metric units...

inch by inch.

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What are the most funny Inch jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Inch? Well, here are the best Inch dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Inch pick up lines to share with friends.

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