Inappropriate Jokes

118 inappropriate jokes and hilarious inappropriate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about inappropriate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article contains a list of inappropriate jokes that may offend some people.

Funniest Inappropriate Short Jokes

Short inappropriate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The inappropriate humour may include short improper jokes also.

  1. "Craig, I caught your son playing 'doctor' with my daughter!" "Oh lord, that kid. My boy didn't do anything inappropriate, did he?"
    "I'll say! The co-pay he charged was outrageous!"
  2. Wife: I'm afraid our Neighbour died Husband: Who, Ray?
    Wife: It's inappropriate to cheer when someone dies
    (My 7 year old came up with this joke)
  3. I was asked who my favourite X-men was the other day... Apparently Caitlyn Jenner was inappropriate.
  4. The inventor of inappropriate innuendo jokes died suddenly yesterday. His wife is taking it really hard.
  5. What do you call a midget who makes inappropriate jokes in the workplace? A little unprofessional
  6. Asiana Airlines will be filing a lawsuit against KTVU for its inappropriate and racist names that were falsely broadcasted mid day Friday 7/12... ....said Asiana's attorney Wi Su Yu
  7. I was asked who my favorite X-Men character was.. Apparently Bruce Jenner was "inappropriate."
  8. My girlfriend said I believe in you and it made me happy. But then I realised she had just affected a culturally inappropriate jamaican accent to break the news that she was moving out.
  9. This girl wants to get me fired for giving her inappropriate shoulder rubs... Good luck with that, I don't even work there.
  10. I got hard during circumcision It was a rather inappropriate situation for me as a doctor.

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Inappropriate One Liners

Which inappropriate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with inappropriate? I can suggest the ones about indecent and unprofessional.

  1. It's inappropriate to make a "dad joke" if you're not a dad..... It's a faux pa. 
  2. I don't work hard... ...because it would be inappropriate for me to be hard, at work.
  3. An oak tree walks into a bar. Nuts on a woman, barks something inappropriate, and leaves.
  4. What's the most inappropriate Halloween costume this year? Hurricane Harvey Weinstein
  5. Where is it inappropriate to have a Back to School sale? A gun store.
  6. Why Are Nostril Jokes Inappropriate? They're Two on the Nose!
  7. Approverypriate. Sorry - that was very inappropriate.
  8. What is it called when you touch a couch inappropriately? Sectional assault.
  9. Why do people make puns at inappropriate times? It's very irrespunsible
  10. What do you call a cup of inappropriate coffee? an ejaculatte
  11. What do you call a rapper who says inappropriate things after horrifying events? Too Soon
  12. What two words do I find inappropriate? Prop and ate.
  13. My boss touched me inappropriately at work today. It's okay though, I'm self-employed.
  14. Where is an inappropriate place to sleep? Insomniacs support group.
  15. Whoever wins the Mega Millions Jackpot.... … touched me inappropriately 30 years ago.

Making Inappropriate Jokes

Here is a list of funny making inappropriate jokes and even better making inappropriate puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a person who kneels after the President makes inappropriate comments? Monica Lewinsky
  • The interview Interviewer: What do you make at your current job?
    Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.
  • My father, who was on his death bed, told me that I make jokes out of the most inappropriate things. Let's just say he didn't live long after that.
  • Why shouldnt you make peadophile jokes to the pope? Because it's wholly inappropriate.
  • I've always wanted to play smooth jazz while making love... ...but apparently the bedroom is an inappropriate place for a drumkit.
  • When interviewer asks you what you make at your current job Apparently they don't expect you to say s**... mistakes and inappropriate comments.

Inappropriate Christmas Jokes

Here is a list of funny inappropriate christmas jokes and even better inappropriate christmas puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So my father-in-law asked me to give the Christmas prayer... Apparently Ezekiel 25:17 is "inappropriate"
  • Inappropriately early decorations really annoy me I mean christmas is literally a year away, and all the houses on my street are decked out already!
  • I'm going to be a DJ at a retirement home this weekend. With an average age of 81 years old, will the song "Last Christmas" be inappropriate?
Inappropriate joke, I'm going to be a DJ at a retirement home this weekend.

Inappropriate Teacher Jokes

Here is a list of funny inappropriate teacher jokes and even better inappropriate teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I had a Yoga teacher when I was younger and he was always drunk and touched me inappropriately, He put me in an awkward position.
  • I used to date an English teacher... ...but she dumped me for inappropriate use of the colon.
  • My teacher always touched me in inappropriate places. The kitchen...the living room....
    I hated being homeschooled.
Inappropriate joke, My teacher always touched me in inappropriate places.

Charming Humor Inappropriate Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about inappropriate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean impolite jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make inappropriate pranks.

Son we need to talk.

Son, we need to talk!
Yes, dad?
Your mother said she saw you watching inappropriate videos online. Those videos are trash, they're garbage and if you keep watching them, you'll go blind!
Yes, son?
I'm over here.

My wife left me because I kept touching pasta

Now I'm feeling cannelloni

two of my friends are getting married tomorrow. what are your favorite wedding/marriage jokes?

The more crass, v**..., and inappropriate, the better.

What would be the most (in)appropriate way to respond to the death of a loved one?

Mourning Would.

My dad recently passed away and loved dirty jokes. I need some new ones to cheer me and my family up.

Last week, my dad unexpectedly passed away at the age of 56. One of the many things my family loved about him was his tendency to tell dirty jokes at the most inappropriate times. Does anybody have any good ones? Hearing some new dirty jokes would really help cheer me and my family up.

A lady walks into a pet store...

She sees a beautiful parrot with a sign on its cage: $10 OBO
The lady asks the pet shop owner, "Why so cheap?" The owner says "This bird used to live in a brothel, so he says a lot of inappropriate things." The lady can't pass up the deal and decides to get the bird anyway.
She gets the bird home and the first thing the bird says is "Finally cleaned up this dump, and the new madam isn't bad looking." The lady finds it amusing.
Her two teen daughters get home and the bird says "New w**... in the house, business will be booming tonight." The girls are shocked but laugh it off.
A few hours later the woman's husband gets home and the bird says "Hey Jim."

One of my favorite somewhat inappropriate jokes.

Moish walks sees Shlomo sitting by himself in a bar, drink in hand.
He walks over, puts a hand on Shlomo's shoulder and says "I'm so sorry to hear about the fire in your factory."
Shlomo gives Moish an angry look and says quietly "Shhh you idiot! That's on Thursday!"

My inappropriate uncle told me this one when I was 11: Where do cousins come from?

ant holes

The most inappropriate thing to say to the queen of England,

I lick your stamps all the time.

Context is important.

Context is important. It's fine to say "I'm coming!" when you're running to catch a bus, but totally inappropriate to say the same thing when you're on it.

Sensual Massages

This girl at the office keeps trying to get me fired for apparently giving her sensual massages at inappropriate times.
I said, "Go right ahead and try, I dont even work here!"

I'm always hard at work.

But Human Resources keeps telling me that it's extremely inappropriate to have erections at the office.

My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke

Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that I could make such a mistake and asked how I could possibly do this when the breast would be round and make it difficult to get the turkey to not roll.
My lame joke:
>"Maybe I just like flat breasted turkeys."
Wife looks down at her chest:
>"Well now I feel self-conscious... Wait, is that why you always turn me face down?"
Everybody starts roaring with laughter and her dad turned bright red.

My coworker complained about our David Bowie tribute music recently...

...he complained that after Lemmy's death we didn't have any tribute music. I pointed out that would be slightly inappropriate, as Lemmy wrote about taking drugs and blacking out, whilst David Bowie wrote whilst taking drugs and blacking out.

A Black Man and a White Man fall out of a tree... Who hits the ground first?

The White Man, of course...
Because the Black man was stopped by the rope.
p.s. Mods, please remove if inappropriate or whatever.

I was asked who my favorite X-Man was

Apparently, Kaitlyn Jenner was an inappropriate reply.

I always get told off when introducing my wife...

Apparently, the label 'ex-girlfriend' is highly inappropriate.

What is the most inappropriate thing to say to someone who just lost their job?

You had one job.

My boss touched me inappropriately at work today.

It's quite rewarding working from home I tell ya

My friend was arrested for his inappropriate attraction to details.

He got off on a technicality

A man is in a job interview..

"So it says here that you consider your memory to be one of your greatest strengths?"
"Could you give me an example of that?"
"An example of what?"

A girl from the office is trying to get me fired for

s**... harassment because I've been giving her "inappropriate massages during work"
I said, Good luck sweetheart. I don't even work here.

A man in a cemetery sees a couple laughing over the tomb of a famous boxer

A bit taken back by the inappropriateness, the man approaches the couple who point to the boxer's epitaph:
"You can stop counting, I'm not getting up"

2016 strike again. The inventor of the inappropriate innuendo has died.

His family are taking it really hard.

What does the inappropriate s**... club patron say when he finally admits he has a problem?

I come here too often

My buddy and his wife were furious with me after I threw confetti on them as they left the church…

They shouted, "This is completely inappropriate at a child's f**...!"

My school does these things at the end of the year called "Senior Pranks".

Usually the same routine, with some alterations each year. Pull the fire alarm, play inappropriate music over the loud speaker, and throw a couple smoke bombs here and there. I'm always surprised how the local retirement home doesn't threaten to sue anyone.

HR pulled me into the office today for a disciplinary.

"We need to talk to you about your inappropriate s**... remarks made to Sarah."
"Why, what level of inappropriateness did she say I done?"
"Yes, it is cute and I would e**... dinner off it. But what level of inappropriateness did she say I done?"

My granddad always used to say "there is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing".

I say "used to', he got hit by lightening.

I've been fired from my job as a bingo caller...

Apparently it's inappropriate to call the number 69 as *"A meal for two with a terrible view"*.

My daughter was trying to convince me that the dress she was going out in wasn't inappropriate,

but I saw right through it.

I always seem to be telling jokes at the most inappropriate moments.

For years I've been attempting to suppress my gag reflex.

Everyone's talking about how inappropriate Louis c**...'s behavior has been...

...personally, I think he handled himself quite well.

Mike Pence Walks Into a Bar

He walks up to a group of women and says, "Hey ladies, wanna get out of here?"
The girls look befuddled. One of them says "Excuse me Mr. Pence, as vice president and as a married man, isn't it inappropriate to hit on a group of women like this?"
To which Pence replied "I wasn't hitting on you. Either you go or I'm not allowed to stay."

My dad hanged himself recently. We decided to set up a committee in his honour.

However, we thought it would be inappropriate to have a chair.

Apparently it's inappropriate for a group of white kids to put on a play of Aladdin, as it is racially insensitive and cultural appropriation. Possibly white washing.

I wonder if we'll see more Jews in Nativity Pageants come Christmas season this year.

When I was a young boy I tried to get the leader of our church to touch me inappropriately during confession so that I could sue him...

But he just told me to stop pastor baiting.

Son: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Me: I don't know; how many?
Son: Ten tickles.
Me: Yeah, but only the male octopus is ticklish.
Son: Huh?
Me: Yeah, the females are not ticklish at all; just the males. You know how you can tell if an octopus is a male octopus?
Son: No; how?
Me: Test tickles.
Son: ...
Son: ...that's inappropriate.

I think it's inappropriate for men to make fun of the gender wage gap; to ignore and minimize it, or to make cheap jokes about it.

Also, you could easily find some women to make those same jokes way cheaper.

One kid always embarrasses his mum...

the young boy was too loud, whenever he wanted to be taken to the toilet he shout out to his mum inappropriately "Mum I wanna pee". The mother got embarrassed everytime he said that specially infront of friends or family, so she taught him to use the word "whisper" instead of "pee".
Once in a family meeting...
kid shouts: I wanna whisper
the grandfather replied: Come whisper in my ears son.

Inappropriate Joke

"If you kill everyone, it's genocide. If you don't, it's bad press."

This woman keeps going to HR to try to get me fired for giving her "inappropriate" massages. Good luck with that.

I don't even work here.

The signs always say, Break glass in case of emergency, but when I had an emergency and broke the glass, my neighbor yelled at me.

Apparently, it was highly inappropriate to throw my drink to the floor, and I could've just asked where the bathroom is.

A man calls tech support.

Customer: I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don't want my wife to think that it's me.'
Advisor: 'I will remove them for you.'
Customer: 'How do I get them back when she is not in?'

What do my date last night and this question have in common.

They were both ended inappropriately by a period.

A plumber

is fixing some water pipes in the kitchen when suddenly the housewife comes in.
-Beware of my husband, he is gonna be home in an hour!
The plumber make eye contact with the lady in the kitchen door and asks.
-Why, I have done nothing inappropriate?
She quickly replies.
-That's why I'm telling you we still have an hour!

My friend told me an inappropriate joke about time travelling in video games.

Chrono Triggered

When asked about the inappropriate behavior by his priests the pope said

it's an age old problem.

Did you hear the one about Xi Jinping?

This joke has been flagged for violations of our *new* content policy, specifically our policy against inappropriate speech.

After weeks of isolation, my wife said she is getting tired of my inappropriate catch phrases...

I said That's COVID, baby .

A piece of rope walks into a bar.

After very inappropriate behaviour, the bartender asks the rope to leave.
The rope leaves and gives itself a makeover by unravelling himself at the top and tying himself into a knot.
It returns the next day and the bartender asks Aren't you the same guy yesterday?
It says: I'm a frayed knot.

I saw all the people complaining about inappropriate YouTube ads, and at first I thought they were kidding. Then I saw a t**... condoms ad.

I thought they were horsing around.

Just got back from the doctor... he said I can touch myself inappropriately whenever I want to!

Wife: Grabs report "This says you could have a s**... at any time"

If your partner confesses that they cheated on you......

If your partner confesses that they cheated on you, I know the temptation is to ask, with who?
But that's inappropriate. Avoid it.
Instead ask, with whom? It is important to speak good English.

I got kicked out of a grocery store for inappropriate behavior in the produce section.

All I did was take a leek.

Sorry to anyone who felt my joke about herbs and fish was inappropriate.

I realise there's a thyme and a plaice for these things...

My fried just got engaged to her boyfriend, Peter, and was gushing about how in love she is. Obviously the first thing out of my mouth was "oh, so you're a massive Peterphile!" Apparently that was "inappropriate" and now she's annoyed with me.

This is actually a true story, so hope it's okay that it's not in a standard joke format.

I got fired from my job at the f**... parlor.

My boss thought "smoking or non smoking?" was an inappropriate way to ask if they wanted cremation.

I like my women how I like my coffee…

Secretly filled with whiskey at inappropriate times.

Inappropriate joke, I like my women how I like my coffee…

jokes about inappropriate