Inanimate Jokes
17 inanimate jokes and hilarious inanimate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about inanimate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make objects come to life with these inanimate jokes! From transforming lifeless objects into hilarious characters to funny puns, get ready to laugh at these clever jokes. Take a break from the mundane and let your imagination take over with these inanimate jokes.
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Funniest Inanimate Short Jokes
Short inanimate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The inanimate humour may include short deceased jokes also.
- Stop saying no to drugs You talking to inanimate objects is the reason why your doctor prescribed them to you in the first place.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was inanimate and couldn't cross the chicken.
- What's the difference between a duck and a curling iron? A duck is a carbon-based life form while a curling iron is an inanimate appliance
- what did the math book say to the pencil? nothing. they are inanimate objects they can't speak
- What do calenders eat? Nothing. Calenders are inanimate objects that are used to keep
track of the date and important events.
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Inanimate One Liners
Which inanimate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with inanimate? I can suggest the ones about stationary and immortal.
- You shouldn't personify inanimate objects. They hate it when you do that.
- Why cant you suprise a snow man? Because its an inanimate object.
- I like my women like I like my whiskey.. Inanimate.
Laughable Inanimate Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about inanimate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean animated jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make inanimate pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a buddy that likes to have s**... with inanimate objects.
We don't hang out much. He's always got stuff to do.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife keeps blaming me for making inanimate objects mad
My wife keeps blaming me for making inanimate objects mad.
"Quit p**... off the roof. Quit p**... off the balcony. Quit p**... off the diving board."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife just told there was a brothel opening up featuring only s**... dolls.
I told her if I wanted to have s**... with an inanimate object I would resume having s**... with her.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend, who likes to have s**... with inanimate objects, hasn't been around in a while...
I heard he's finally settled down with that one nightstand
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
50 Cent goes to a small town for a concert and meets the mayor.
The mayor, being a fan and trying to be casual, offers to show him around town. Before long, he realizes that 50 cent seems to be a little off, because he is asking the mayor to identify inanimate objects. He points to a sewer, and the mayor says, "Sewer." He points to a streetlight, and the mayor patiently says, "Streetlight." After 6 or 7 of these instances, 50 cent points to a lone birch planted in the sidewalk. The mayor says, "g**..., that's a Tree, Fiddy!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Signs...
The following are all signs that you are a drunk. They include, but are not limited to...
- You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
- You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
- Your job interferes with your drinking.
- Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
- You sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive fifth food group.
- Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not!
- You consider that having two hands and only one mouth is a drinking problem.
- You can normally focus better with one eye closed.
- The parking lot seems to have moved since you entered the bar.
- You fall off the floor sometimes.
- Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
- Mosquitoes stumble about after attacking you.
- At weekly AA meetings, you forget your own name.
- Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
- The whole bar greets you when you come in.
- You don't recognise your wife unless you see her through the bottom of your glass.
- That d**... pink elephant followed you home again!
