In Law Jokes
182 in law jokes and hilarious in law puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about in law that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest In Law Short Jokes
Short in law jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The in law humour may include short son in law jokes also.
- I don't understand all these jokes about mothers-in-law. Mine is sweet, supportive, and a great influence on me and my wife. I can't say anything bad about her.
- My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives... I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
- What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? It was given two consecutive sentences.
- These two cannibals are sitting by the campfire having dinner. One says " I can't stand my mother in law". The other says " so , just eat the potatoes".
- TIL Calaway's Law states that "the best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer." Now we wait.
- I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my Latina mother in law Who lives at 324 3rd st. Los Angeles. She gets off at 6
- I was walking down the street with my wife.. And i saw my mother in law being beaten up by six men, when my wife asked "Aren't you going to help?" I said "No, six should be enough."
From Les Dawson. - "Diana!" I said, greeting my mother-in-law as she walked through the door... She said, "My name's Anna."
I said, "Yeah, I know." - If your mother-in-law and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose... would you go to lunch or a movie?
- My wife thinks that I don't care for her relatives. I told her that's not true. I love her mother-in-law more than I love mine.
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In Law One Liners
Which in law one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with in law? I can suggest the ones about parents in law and sister in law.
- What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law
- How do women defy the laws of physics? The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!
- What does a black man call a black lawyer? A brother in law
- There is a law that says you don't have to wear a mask It's called Natural Selection
- What's the penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
- Newton's third law of Emotion. For every male action, there is a female overreaction.
- What is a cats way of keeping law and order? Claw enforcement!
- I'm so tired of hearing Law and Order jokes. They've all been done done.
- My Mother in Law fell down a wishing well I was amazed. I never knew they worked.
- Why Did the mother in law cross the road? She thought it was a boundary.
- What do you call two pint of strict rules? A quart of law
- What happens to rainbow that break the law? They go through the prism system
- What do you get when you cross a policeman with a skunk? Law and odor.
- How does carbon dioxide make soda so bubbly? By obeying the laws of fizz-ics.
- 100 Law Students walk into a bar... ...About 50 of them pass.
Mother In Law Jokes
Here is a list of funny mother in law jokes and even better mother in law puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My mother in law was getting beaten up by four guys and my wife shouted "Go Help", to which I replied "four should be enough".
- My mother in law came for a visit so I asked her - How long do you plan to stay? Just until I start getting on your nerves, she replied.
Oh, so you won't even stay for a coffee? - My mother-in-law has a massive case of diarrhea. She won't find out until she unpacks her luggage.
- I Wasn't Too Keen On The Idea Of Gay Parenting Until I met my wife, who was raised by two dads. That's when I came to my senses and realized.. NO MOTHER-IN-LAW!
- "Where's your mother in law?" - "She's in the garden."
- "Where? I can't see her."
- "You have to dig a little." - What do you call mixed emotions? Watching your mother-in-law reverse off a cliff in your brand new car
- I bought my mother in law a chair for her birthday... But my wife wouldn't let me plug it in.
- My mother-in-law fell down our well last week but she is fine she stopped crying for help 2 days ago
- A man and his wife drove past the beautiful countryside... They saw a pig, rolling in the mud, so wife said: "Your relative?"
Man replied: "Yes, mother-in-law." - If your ex wife, and ex mother in law were drowning and you could only save one.. What kind of sandwich would you make?
Daughter In Law Jokes
Here is a list of funny daughter in law jokes and even better daughter in law puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Have a daughter named after my mother in law Passive-Agressive Psycho turns 5 next week
- My daughter asked why she can't just quit school I told her it's against the law and they'll put me in jail.
My sweet sweet child looked me in the eye, and said: I'll visit you . - My father in law said he felt so lucky that his daughter met such a great guy. But that relationship didn't work out so she settled for me.
- I told my father in law we have something in common. "What's that?"
"Your daughter calls me Daddy too." - I was surprised when Kim Jong Un agreed to let me marry his daughter Cause now I get to call him my father-un-law
- My Daughter In Law She's a manager at a post office. I threw her a party for getting promoted in a mail dominated industry.
- My dream is to marry into a family of lawyers, Open a law firm with my husbands mom, and call it Mother and daughter in law
- "I'd like to have a toast" said the father-in-law at his daughters wedding "Add some jam on it," he continued
- We have mothers-in-law, fathers-in-law, sons-in-law and daughters-in-law, but what is the wife? The law.
- My baby girl graduated law school today I am so proud to finally call her my daughter in law.
Son In Law Jokes
Here is a list of funny son in law jokes and even better son in law puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why was the cow arrested for jumping over the moon? Because it broke the laws of physics!!
(my son says he made this up himself!! can't find it anywhere else so maybe....) - "Dad, what was the name of Adam's mother in law?" "He didn't have a mother in law, son, because he lived in paradise"
- Birthday Return Friend: "What are you going to give your mother-in-law for her birthday?"
Me: "Her son back!" - In-laws A son would be a son-in law
A mother would be a mother-in law
A brother would be a brother-in law
But your wife, is the law. - The President's son, son-in-law, campaign manager, and a Russian lawyer walk into a bar… finish that one for me, will ya
- My mother in law is Spanish My mother in law is Spanish, so when we named our son 'Muchos' it really meant a lot to her.
- Little Jhonny asks his father: "Dad, why grandma is doing that weird dance in our garden?" "Grandma to some, mother-in-law to others. Better pass me that box of ammo over there, son".
- My wife and visiting mother-in-law got mad at me when my son looked at the turkey and said.... "Dad. Where's the fat cow you said we would be serving for dinner?".
- I don't think I'll be able to get my Mom what she really wants on Mother's Day – a doctor for a son-in-law.
- My son said he wants to be an outlaw when he grows up When I asked why, he said "dad you hate in-laws so much I figured I'd be the opposite!"
Father In Law Jokes
Here is a list of funny father in law jokes and even better father in law puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I changed my last name to 'Batman' the day before my wedding My Father-in-Law didn't enjoy the wedding of Dan and Anna BATMAN.
- When I first met my father-in-law he threw a shotgun shell at me Then he said "Nice catch but the next one's gonna be going much faster!"
- If your dad is a lawyer He's basically your father in law
- My father-in-law is a retired preacher. The put him out to pastor.
- My fiance's dad is a priest and he's going to take the bar exam soon. He's going to be a father in law
- I asked my incontinent father-in-law if he wanted anything from the store,he replied ... "Depends"
- A man gets married. Now, he has a father-in-law, a mother-in-law, a bother-in-law, a sister-in-law. And the wife? She is the law.
- So my father-in-law asked me to give the Christmas prayer... Apparently Ezekiel 25:17 is "inappropriate"
- Today I'm working with my father in law He's getting pretty good at it, I can just tell he's gonna be a lawyer in no time.
- Father in law just made an accidental calculus joke By the time I got to calculus in math, I realized I had reached my limit.
Hilarious In Law Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about in law you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mother in law jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make in law pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I took my mother in law out today
I love being a s**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Anagram of "mother in law"
Woman h**...
Two men are walking down the street
When they see 3 guys across the road beating up an older woman. Fred turns to George and says
"Hey, isn't that your mother in law over there?"
"So it is." replies George
"Well aren't you going to help?!" Fred asked.
"Nah," George replied, "I think 3 should be enough"
An armed masked man bursts into a bank yelling "EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS UP, THIS IS A ROBBERY!"
The patrons and staff, terrified, comply.
He's loading up his sack with cash when his mask slips off. He quickly pulls it back up and sees two guys who may have seen his face. He points his gun at the first.
"Did you see my face?"
"Yes"
BANG, he shoots him.
He then points it at the second guy.
"Did you see my face?"
The second guy points at a woman sitting far off in the reception area.
"No, but my mother in law did!"
A man tells his friend that he has a dog in a suitcase who can play the piano.
The friend says ok let's see it . The man opens the suitcase and sure enough a small dog with a small piano comes out and plays the piano with great skill. As he plays a crowd gathers around to watch. After some time a female dog comes out from the crowd, picks him up by the scruff and carries him off. The friend asks what's going on is that part of his routine? The man says No that's his mother, she wants him to be a doctor.
(Translated from Hindi and relayed by my father in law)
In law school...
Professor: What is fraud?
Student: If you don't let me pass the exam, you've committed fraud.
Professor: (surprised) how so?
Student: According to the law, those who take advantage of others' ignorance to cause them losses are committing fraud.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I discovered my mother in law has weekly sessions with l**... himself on how to be even more vicious.
I've no idea what kind of fees she's charging him.
Depressed race car mechanic.
Scene: a psychiatrists practice:
'Doc, I'm a mechanic I work for a racecar driver. It's utterly depressing ... I get to fix his car up, maintain it, tune it to perfection. But never -not once- have I been allowed to take it for a spin. It's crushing a depressing to think that such a wonderful thing is out there purring, but I'll never get to enjoy it. ...'
'Well sir, I think I understand just fine, my brother in law has the exact same problem.'
'Is he a mechanic too doc?'
'No, a gynecologist'
A billionaire goes for a drive
... and his Rolls Royce pulls up next to a stoplight, and he notices someone on the side of the road picking grass and eating it. He orders his driver to turn right, and park on the side of the road next to the man. He exits the vehicle and walks up to the man, and asks him, "sir, why are you eating grass?" The man says, "I am hungry, and have no money to eat with, so all I have to eat is grass." The billionaire says to the man, "well then, come with me to my mansion and I'll feed you." The man replies with, "I have children, and a wife." The billionaire replies with, "that's fine, bring them too." The man replies with, "we also live with my brother in law, his wife, and his kids." The billionaire replies, "Bring them all, I'll send to have them picked up." The man asks the billionaire, "why sir are you so kind to us?" The billionaire replies with, "my last lawn crew quit, and the grass in the front acre is nearly 2ft tall."
My dad loves telling this joke to women
Robert is walking down the street and sees two hearses followed by hundreds of men walking. At the front of the line, one man is walking his dog.
Robert walks up to the man and asks,
>"What happened?!"
The man- "My wife and mother in law died."
Robert - "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. How did they die?"
The man - "My dog bit them."
Robert - "Your dog bit them and they died?!"
The Man - "Yup"
Robert - "...Can I borrow your dog?"
The man simply smiles and says, "Get in line."
A man finds his best friend crying.
He asks "what's wrong?"
His friend responds, "I got in a fight with my mother in law. She said she won't speak to me for a month."
"Sounds like a good deal to me!"
Dejected, his friend friend replied, "that was a month ago."
Operation successful
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting a complicated surgery on him and.....
he insisted that his son-in-law, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he spoke to his son-in-law.
'Yes, Dad, what is it?'
'Don't be nervous son; do your best and just remember, if something happens to me.........
........your mother in law will come and live with you.'
The surgery was a great success....
If a tiger was attacking your wife and mother in law at the same time and you could save one, who would it be?
The tiger of course. There are only a few left 🐯
Got my mother in law a cemetery plot for Christmas once, and the next year didn't buy her anything. When she asked me why I didn't buy a gift for her I said.....
... because you still haven't used the one I got you last year.
A wake for my mother-in-law
Two rural gentlemen were chatting. One says, "Say, I noticed a lot of cars at your house on Saturday night. Were you having a party or something?"
"No," responds the second man. "Tragically last week one of my mules kicked my mother in law in the head, and she died suddenly"
"Oh, No!" says the first man. "So were the people there to pay their final respects?"
"No," says the second man. "Once news started to spread about the incident, men from all over the county started coming over asking if they could borrow my mule."
My mother in law complained that the thermometer I gave her (which she hung in a very sunny spot) wasn't showing an accurate temperature.
So I told her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.
I was walking down the street when I saw my mother in law getting beaten up by 7 people...
Someone said "shouldn't you help?" and I replied "nah, 7 should be enough."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Mother in law said to me: "I'll dance on your grave, when you're dead"
"Good!" I said, "I'm being buried at sea."
My mother in law has gone a bit off the rails.
Hopefully the train still gets her.
It was stormy weather outside, so I was really surprised to hear the doorbell ring.
The doorbell camera revealed it was my mother in law, completely soaked from the rain, and shivering in the icy wind. Concerned she might catch a cold, I hollered:
Please, don't just stand there!
Go home!
————————————
Disclaimer:
I really appreciate my mother in law. This is a joke (which I like to tell her once in a while). In-laws deserve to be treated with respect, just like real human beings.
When is the only time you're smiling and winking at your mother in law?
When you're looking at her through a rifle scope.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I still remember my mother in law's last words before she died.
She said Stop shaking the ladder you idiot!
"I'm 29 years old today..."
"I'm 29 years old today," said Ralph, setting a box of donuts on the table in the office. His coworkers all wished him a happy birthday.
Next day, Ralph's secretary answers the phone...
"Hello, my name is Carl. I'm Ralph's brother in law, and I'd like to wish Ralph a happy birthday," says the man on the line.
"Birthday? You're a day late. He just told us yesterday he turned 29."
"No," says Carl. "He *was* 29 yesterday. *Today* he's 30."
(based on a true story)
My mother in law got pulled over
Cop asked:whats in the bottle?
She says :water
He says: it looks like wine!
She's: Praise the lord, Jesus did it again!
A Man was talking with his best friend.
About how much he hates his Mother in law.
Friend says " Well without your Mother in law you wouldn't have your wife so you cant hate her."
Man says "No pretty sure thats mainly the reason I hate her."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two cannibals are eating dinner. One says to the other "I hate my mother in law"
The other cannibal replies "Well, then just eat the noodles"
Me and my wife were having an argument about which family we will spend Christmas Day with...
I'm sure many couples can relate. I want to spend it with mine and she obviously wants to spend it with hers. It led to a big argument where she yelled, You like your family way more, you hate my relatives
I replied, That's not true, I like your mother in law way more than mine
A man sees his friend covered in blood and scratches
A man was walking and see his friend clearly exhausted, scratched and covered in blood.
- What happened to you?
- Well, I just came back from burying my mother in law.
- Sorry to hear that, but how does that explain your injuries?
- ... She didn't want to.
A 17 in blackjack is like a mother in law
Sometimes you want to hit it, but it's probably smarter not to.
Did you hear about the latest Calvin Klein Lawsuit?
Yeah - but it wasn't much of a suit. It was actually a brief case.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys are drinking in a bar and one says, "Man, I've really had it with my brother in law."
The 2nd guy asks what happened, and the 1st guy tells him, "He had to go to jail last night and he went nuts. He fought, kicked, screamed, and flung a handful of f**... on the wall." The 2nd guy says, "Man he really sounds like a piece of work." The 1st guy says, "Yeah, that's the last time we invite him over to play Monopoly."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had dinner with my mother in law the other night. Was gonna ask "would you to pass the salt, please"
But instead my tounge twisted and I said
"You s**... cow. You've completely ruined my life."
It just doesn't make sense
You know how people donate a pint of blood and are hailed as a hero. I go into the clinic and donate 8 pints of blood already packaged. And then they gotta go call the police. Guess I have to find another way to get rid of my mother in law.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'll try to translate this joke from Spanish
A man is walking down the road carrying a shovel when his friend sees him.
Friend: Hey Pablo, you sure do look tired. What have you been up to?
Pablo: I come from burying my mother in law.
Friend: And you're that tired? Even with how strong you are?
Pablo: The massive b**... wouldn't let me!
What is the definition of bitter sweet?
Your Mother in law driving off a cliff in your brand new Corvette.
I am on the case prep team in law school. Our new fact pattern is based on the Sandusky Trial. What do you think of my theme for trial?
Coach Toledo may have been head coach of the Cougars, but he was not interested in the cougars. Coach Toledo was interested in the cubs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Great Moments in Lawyering
"Have you ever attempted s**...?"
"Yes, on multiple occasions."
"Did you ever succeed?"
What does a penguin lawyer order at a bar?
Just ice
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys who just met at a training class are driving through the city looking for a place to have lunch.
The guy driving is running every red light. The other guy is starting to freak out and says, "Dude?! What the h**... are you doing going through those red lights??" The guy driving says, "Its okay, my brother in law does it all the time." The passenger says, "Well its not okay with me, let me out up here!" They drive a little further up the road and the driver stops at a green light. The passenger says, "Why are you stopped? The light is green." The driver says, "My brother in law might be coming through."
A mother in law knocks on the door, her son in law opens it....
MIL - hi Gabe, I'm here for a visit.
Gabe - cool. How long are you here for?
MIL - I don't know, as long as you want me to.
Gabe - you mean you won't even stay for a cup of tea?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the roman fighter who ate his mother in law?
Terrible indigestion but he was gladiator.
A man is very worried about the future...
Anxious with fright, he visits the village soothsayer and asks him what the future holds.
''Hold your hand out for me.''
The man does as requested and the soothsayer looks at the hand, the shapes and patterns intriguing him. A bit cautiously he says ''Your mother in law will die very soon.''
''I know that already! Just tell me if the police will able to catch me or not!''
(I was watching an Afghan comedy show and this joke came up! :)
What do a slinky and your mother in law have in common?
They're both fun to watch tumble down stairs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mother in law and stairs
Two old friends meet each other after a long time:
A: Oh hey, what's new?
B: Nothing much, my mother in law died.
A: Oh really, d**..., how?
B: She went downstairs to the basement to get some potatoes for lunch, fell and broke her neck.
A: That's tragic, what did you do then?
B: We ordered pizza.
Two cannibals sit down to eat
The one ask to the other why he is so sad?
I don't like my mother in law
It's okay, just eat your chips then
If you are driving really fast and suddenly you see your wife and your mother in law in front of you, what will you hit first?
Brakes...... The brakes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you do when your mother in law keeps b**... on the window?
Raise the oven's temperature.
Two men are in a pub
One says to his mate, My mother-in law is an angel. His friend replies, You're lucky. Mine is still alive."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
joke from my father in law with prostate cancer...
whats the difference between a camaro and an e**...?
i can maintain a camero.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Your father in law is so bad at chess...
he traded a queen for a horse.
In the court:
The judge: So is it true you saw your brother beat his mother in law?
Yes, sir
Then why didnt you try to help?
I could see he could handle her himself
A few years ago I called my mother in law fat and she still resents me for it
I should've known that an elephant never forgets.
What do you do when you see your mother in law standing in front of your house?
Reload and try again.
My parents in law could never have a baby
That's why I'm still single
Newly Married Husband
Newly Married Husband puts a notice
in front of his residence:
FOR SALE
Computer and Encyclopedia both in
good condition.
Reason for selling:
No longer needed
Got married.
Wife knows EVERYTHING ...
with backup server called
"Mother In Law "
Happy Martin Lawrence Day
Mar 10
What do you call a nun who has become a lawyer?
A sister in law
Not having rich parents is not your fault
Not having rich parents in law is 100% your fault.
^^^^not ^^^^sure ^^^^if ^^^^this ^^^^is ^^^^a ^^^^joke ^^^^or ^^^^just ^^^^showerthoughts
My brother in law was trying to explain something, and was trying to think of a word for the opposite of verbally
And I said: oh you mean Nounally!
I went to the vet to get the tails of both my dogs chopped off…
My mother in law is coming to town and I wanted her to know nobody was happy to see her.
My sister in law got the covid vaccine yesterday.
Her 5g reception has never been better
