Impulse Jokes

28 impulse jokes and hilarious impulse puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about impulse that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Impulse Short Jokes

Short impulse jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The impulse humour may include short instinct jokes also.

  1. Ancient Romans believed the 54th birthday was the time to indulge in all your crazy impulses. You only LIV once.
  2. What is faster Hot or cold? Hot because you can catch a cold
    (my teacher made this joke, and he isn't on reddit so I felt the impulse to share it)
  3. Why did the starship captain buy a sub-lightspeed propulsion system that he didn't need? It was an impulse purchase.
    For anyone who isn't aware, this is a star trek fathers day joke.
  4. My wife was upset at my impulse purchase of an expensive revolving chair, but then she sat on it. Eventually she came around.
  5. My wife was furious at my impulse purchase of a revolving chair. But then she sat on it. Eventually she came around.
  6. I am impulsive and erratic, and constantly making 360° turns. I just don't get why I keep going in the same boring direction.
  7. My last hookup was like Amazon Prime. I was drunk, they were an impulse, and they came before I could change my mind.
  8. Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth? And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?
  9. Dear my bank account. I'm sorry my impulsiveness is letting you down during this Black Friday.
  10. I asked my impulsive friend why he jumped into the ocean on our deep sea fishing trip... ...he said, "... for the halibut!"

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Impulse One Liners

Which impulse one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with impulse? I can suggest the ones about surge and reflex.

  1. Just impulse bought a blind fold... Cant see myself wearing it...
  2. Why are vampires so impulsive? Because they never reflect on anything.
  3. Nervous systems are too reckless They always do everything on impulse
  4. The other day I unexpectedly bought a cat. It was an impulse purrchase.
  5. My friend was ashamed of impulse buying a $1000 mattress I asked him to sleep on it
  6. What do you call a midget's heartbeat? Impulse.
  7. I bought a new Paslode framing nailer the other day... It was an impulse buy.
  8. I bought a grenade after playing too much Fortnite It was an impulse buy
  9. What do you see at an amphibian impulse party? Newt on seconds.
  10. I'm pretty impulsive after gambling.. I do things right off the bet..
  11. Are you impulsive? Think about it
  12. My doctor says I'm allergic to impulsiveness. I keep breaking out in rash decisions.
  13. How do you calculate a girl's impulse? ∫F dt b**...

Impulse joke, How do you calculate a girl's impulse?

Heartwarming Impulse Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about impulse you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean momentum jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make impulse pranks.

Not even sushi is safe.

Wife and I were having sushi, she ordered a rainbow roll and asked if I wanted piece
I told her I would have the piece on the end... Just for the Halibut.

I was impressed at how well she controlled the impulse to stab me with the chop sticks.

When I was a kid living with my parents, I remember when my dad gave me money to pay the utilities one day

On impulse, I decided to buy scratch-offs. When I got home I explained *'but we could get a new car when we win!'*, he ended up beating me.
The next day, we woke up to a new truck outside our house and everyone was crying. Myself in particular, because the new truck was from the Utilities company, coming to shutoff the water. So my dad beat me again.
It still Hertz to this day.

A starship engineer trades half their ship's cargo...

For a sub light engine. The captain finds out and is angry:
"Why did you trade valuable cargo for something 1/10th the value?"
The engineer replies: "Sorry captain, it was an impulse buy"

Impulse joke, I bought a new Paslode framing nailer the other day...