importantly Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious importantly puns

Advice from my father

Son, you need a woman who can cook, a woman who can clean, a woman that is great in bed. Most importantly, you must make sure these three women never meet.

Happy Saturday night from Pennsylvania


Saudi Arabia banned chess, calling it a dangerous game

Reasons are:

1. The Queen doesn't wear a burkha.
2. The Queen roams freely wherever she wants to.
3. The Queen is more powerful than the King.
4. The Queen goes alone to opponent's territory.
5. Most importantly, there's only one Queen.


Army commando recruitment - from India

A Man was being interviewed for the post of a Commando in Army.

Interviewer: "We want a person with a suspicious mind; always alert, merciless; ready to attack; high sense of hearing & most importantly; having a killer instinct. So Do you think you are eligible?"

Man: "No Sir; but can my Wife apply?"


Saudi Arabia is banning chess, calling it Haram. Reasons are :

1. Queen doesn't wear burkha.
2. Queen roams freely wherever it wants .
3. Queen is more powerful than King
4. Queen alone goes to other army's side
5. And.... Most importantly there's only one queen..


To have a successful marriage, every man has to follow these four steps...

1. Find a woman who will love you unconditionally.
2. Find a woman who will always cook for you.
3. Find a woman who will always want to have sex with you.
4. And most importantly, ensure that none of these women ever meet.


A man deserves a woman who he enjoys spending time with, who can fulfill his desires, and who can cook.

But most importantly, he must make sure that these women never meet.


A Saudi Arabian Oil Baron sends his son to study abroad...

To help his son in his life and studies abroad, he gives his son a good deal of money and more importantly, a Ferrari sportscar, as he though it might be a good idea to flaunt some wealth.

Despite this, a few weeks later his son calls him and laments Dad, every time I go to lectures, I drive there with my Ferrari, but everyone else there takes the train, its really awkward as I'm the only guy with a car!

Incensed, the Oil Baron practically yells into the phone Son, I'm depositing 10 million Euros into your account now, stop embarrassing your family and buy yourself a train!


My granddad was a wise man...

...he told me that you can't find happiness all by yourself. To live a truly happy life you need to be in a fulfilling relationship. You need to find a wife that loves you unconditionally, a wife that challenges you on a daily basis, a wife that you always want to make love to and most importantly you must make sure that they'll never meet.


Man walks into tattoo shop...

Says to the artist "I'd like to get a one hundred dollar bill tattooed on my dick".

"$100 tattooed on your dick? Give me 1 good reason why you'd want to that?" asks the tattoo artist.

"1 good reason? I'll give you 3." Says the man. "First, I love playing with my money. Second, I love to watch my money grow. But most importantly, the next time my wife wants to go out and blow $100 - I can tell her just to stay home."


A widow places an ad in the paper

"Lover Wanted: must not run around behind my back, must not beat me, and most importantly, must be good in bed!"

A few days later, her doorbell rings. Excited, she rushes to the door and yanks it open, only to find a man with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair.

"Who are you?" She asks, disappointment setting in.

"I'm here about your ad in the paper. I'd like to be your lover."

"But you have no legs!"

"So I can't run around behind your back."

"But you have no arms!"

"So I can't beat you."

Annoyed, she asks "But how could you possibly be good in bed?"

Smiling, the man says "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"


An Irishmen is frantically looking for a car park...

He's running late for his work meeting and is looking for a park in a busy carpark. He looks at the heavens and says
"Father, I know I've been a bad catholic, but please just grant me a bloody car park and I'll do right by You again, I'll be a better man, and more importantly I'll be a better Christian."
Suddenly, the clouds split apart and a sharp beam of sunshine cut through onto the pavement, and right in front of the man a vacant car park appeared. The man waved at the heavens and said
"Ah never mind Father, I found one."


Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my girlfriends hair...

It's a nice to let her know I love her, but more importantly that we're out of napkins.


There are 5 Types of Matter...





and most importantly
Black Lives


A man was being interviewed for a job in CIA

Interviewer: We want a person with suspicious mind, always alert, merciless, ready to attack, acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly having a killer Instinct. So, do you think you are eligible?

Man: Sir... Can my wife apply?


What a man deserves.

A man deserves a woman who he enjoys spending time with, a woman who can fulfill his desires, and a woman who can cook. Most importantly, he must make sure these women never meet each other.


want a smart girl, a nice girl, a romantic girl.

But most importantly, I want these women to never meet.


How do people get Bill from William? Peggy from Margaret? and more importantly how do you get Dick from Richard?

You ask nicely.


Saudi Arabia banned chess,

Saudi Arabia banned chess, calling it a dangerous game....

Reasons are:

1. Queen doesn't wear a burkha.

2. Queen roams freely wherever she wants to.

3. Queen is more powerful than the King.

4. Queen goes alone to opponent's territory.

5. And....Most importantly, there's only one Queen


Good jokes are like anti vax kids

They come in many shapes and sizes, normally created by people that have less-than-average intelligence, and most importantly never gets old


Why did my washing machine stop pumping out water?

And more importantly, where is my hamster?


What do mothballs smell like?

& more importantly, how do you get their legs open?


Woman has a special combination of inner..

My dream woman has a special combination of inner and outer beauty and is, most importantly, too naive to know she's way out of my league.


Prince Harry's royal handlers must be on red alert awaiting his stag do...

NO stripping naked in Vegas, NO dressing up as a Nazi, NO drugs, NO assaulting the public and most importantly, NO tunnels!


Hilte, he attacc, he protecc, but most importantly...

He ate a small poison tic tacc.



Like, comment, and most importantly, repost this to spread the word!


We breath, we die...

But most importantly, don't forget to creampie.


I like my women as I like my data...

Discrete, independent, driven and most importantly, Real!


Hitler, he atac, he protec, but most importantly...

He ate a poisonous tic tac.


What are the most funny Importantly jokes of all time ?

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