Impolite Jokes
22 impolite jokes and hilarious impolite puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about impolite that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Impolite Short Jokes
Short impolite jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The impolite humour may include short rude jokes also.
- Vomiting in someone else's house is pretty impolite, but projectile-vomiting in their house... ...is really beyond the pail.
- Why is it impolite to say Donald Trump is a racist, con man and a cheat? Ettiquete dictates you say, "President Donald Trump is a racist, con man and a cheat."
- Remember: It's impolite to ask people questions about their sinuses because that's their personal business. Don't be nosy.
- I've always felt like asking someone where they live is impolite. Secretly following them home is much more polite.
- Yesterday, I met the guy who made the song Sandstorm and he was incredibly impolite. In fact, I think he might be da rudest person I have ever met.
- I once met a soldier who had never lost a battle. It was considered impolite to mention that he had never actually fought a battle, either.
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Impolite One Liners
Which impolite one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with impolite? I can suggest the ones about unprofessional and unpleasant.
- Why did the man driving stop at every gas station? Cause it's impolite to pass gas
- It's impolite to ask a lady her age. So, how much do you weight?
- What do you call an impolite red-nosed reindeer? Rude-olph.
- What do you call Santa's most impolite reindeer? Rudeolph
- What do you call a slightly impolite canadian dust devil? Da rude "eh" sandstorm
Comical Impolite Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about impolite you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean obnoxious jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make impolite pranks.
A patient walks into a doctor's office...
...seeking a prescription, and he can't help but notice that the doctor's writing on his clipboard with a r**... thermometer.
Not wanting to be rude, the man speaks up politely, "Uh, doc', not tryna' be impolite, but you're writing with a r**... thermometer."
The doctor pulls up his glasses, looks at the thermometer and replies, "Ah, some a**...'s got my pen."
The Polite Way to Pee
a friend sent this to me on whatsapp today.
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite'
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' 😶
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?
Johnny said: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.'
The teacher fainted...
Table manners
Teacher:"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
Teacher: 'That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
Teacher:'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'
Johnny: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.'
A teacher asks some of her students about manners at the table.
A teacher asks some of her students about manners while on a date. She asked Billy how he would excuse himself from the table. Billy replied, "I'll be back. I have to go pee". The teacher said, "that would be rude and impolite. What about you, Jimmy? How would you say it?" Jimmy replied, "I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be back". The teacher said, "that's better, but saying 'bathroom' at the table should be avoided. What about you, Timmy? Do you know the answer for once?" Timmy said, "Ma'am, may I be excused? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll meet after dinner."
Little Johnny has questions for his mother.
The first thing he asks is, "How old are you?" His mother says, "It's impolite to ask a lady how old she is." He then asks, "How much do you weigh?" to which she says, "Johnny, that's impolite too!" He asks, "Why did Dad leave?" His mother sighs, and says, "I don't want to talk about that." Unsatisfied with her answers, Little Johnny ran off. He returns five minutes later holding her license. "Mommy, I figured it out! You're 35, you weigh 189 pounds, and Daddy left because you got an F in s**...!"
While teaching a class,
A teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"
Sherman said: "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
Johnny said: "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner."
