implying Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious implying stories

What are the best Implying puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Implying? Well here is a complete list of Implying to have fun with:

Methylated Spirit

A scruffy homeless man walks into a DIY store.

"Bottle of methylated spirit please."

"Look mate, no offense but I wasn't born yesterday. I can't sell that to you when I know you're just gonna drink it."

"Hey, what are you implying? This is ridiculous, I'm using it for woodwork!"

"All right, all right..." says the shopkeeper, taking a bottle of the shelf.

"Oh, haven't you got a cold one?"


Please settle an argument regarding this joke: why is it funny?

>What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

>30 pounds.

This joke has been the source of debate among my peers. I know I'm right, but I need evidence/validation. Why is this joke funny? What is the punch line implying?



Why batman wasn't in the avengers.

You need parents permission to join.

Edit I know that he is dc im using him for the sake of the joke its just a joke I'm not implying that they're the same universe (even though bruce wayne is a millionaire in new york jtlyk)


my face popped a vessel during this

I was at work today, just pricing a huge shipment of tools. This random customer comes up to me, he says Hello. I reply with a kind gesture. He then proceeds with this:
Customer "Do you know what a cougar is?"
Me "yep"
Customer "So, you know that there are two kinds?"
I giggled a bit and answered,
Me "Yes"
Customer "do you know what a tiger is?"
I figured he was implying the tiger to be like a cougar(as in an older woman seeking young men) but i wasn't sure.
Me "i don't think so, what is it?"
Customer "Its a cougar with stretch marks!"
I started to laugh pretty hard. Was so taken off guard by his answer that I dropped the manure fork on my boots.
Me "Good show! You my good man, are my favourite for today."
He smiled and I gave him a discount on all his items.


A man invites four friends to a dinner party.

Three of them show up; the fourth does not.

The man is disappointed, but he considers it rude to directly name the friend, so he complains by saying, "Someone who should have come here did not come."

One of his three friends that _did_ show up interprets this vague statement as implying, "Someone who did come here _should not_ have come. He decides that that someone is him, and gets up and leaves the table.

The man is even more disappointed now. He says, "Someone who should not have left has left."

A second friend decides that he is implying, "Someone who _did not leave_ should have left." He thinks, 'That must be me!' and leaves the table.

Now it is only the man and his third friend at the table. The third friend turns to the man and says, "You know, you really shouldn't have phrased your complaints like that; I think our other two friends got the wrong idea."

The man says, "But I didn't mean _them_!"



You've read some of the best implying jokes of all time. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise kids not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty implying gags to your kids. These jokes are updated with new ones in December 2019.

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laughs? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter. Some of these implying jokes are funny and some are hilarious.

Can I save Implying jokes? You can do this from the Joko Jokes iPhone app. It is available for free download from the Apple App Store. Like your favorite jokes so we can rank them by their likes count. Every thumb matters for Joko Jokes' rankings.

How to share a Implying joke? You are free to share every Implying joke found on, share it on Facebook, Twitter or by email and have fun with friends and family.