Implants Jokes

61 implants jokes and hilarious implants puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about implants that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funny jokes about implants ranging from breast implants, prosthetics, and liposuction can be found in this article. Whether you just want a good laugh or are looking to lighten the mood, these jokes are sure to make you smile.

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Funniest Implants Short Jokes

Short implants jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The implants humour may include short breast implant jokes also.

  1. I once met a woman with wooden breast implants This joke would be funny with a punchline, wouldn't it?
  2. I got so angry with poachers illegally killing dolphins that I began randomly implanting some with tiny bombs. But it just ended up defeating the porpoise.
  3. Step One. Implant a tiny bomb in your head and prepare the detonation button. What happens next will blow your mind.
  4. Did you hear about the lady that had breast implants made of oak? It would be nice if this joke had a punch line, woodentit?
  5. My coworker is convinced that the government has implanted a microchip in his brain, and is controlling his thoughts. I told him it's all in his head.
  6. My blonde friend got breast implants I used to call her " little Connie", now she's just "Silicone"
  7. Tag line outside a Breast Implant Clinic: If nature has given you "lemons"

    we will re-arrange the alphabets & convert them into "melons" !!
  8. Did you hear that McDonald's is implanting all of its employees with technology that gives them all a common hive mind? They're calling themselves the Burg.
  9. Magic is like breast implants... ...we all know its fake, but when done well, can give you a feeling of true wonder
  10. Why during her implantation die the young girl does Asian? When being possible, "to go because of A, why go because of B, because her parents said"!

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Implants One Liners

Which implants one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with implants? I can suggest the ones about dentures and transplant.

  1. Q: What do you call the cleavage between breast implants? A: Silicon Valley
  2. She was wearing a t-shirt that said Guess So I asked her ... Implants?
  3. Nobody knew she had a dental implant until it slipped out in conversation.
  4. What is another term for a lung transplant? Breath Implants
  5. What did 3 say to 8 Well, I see you went and got the implants!
  6. Breast implants are like potato chips. You can't have just one.
  7. I asked an Italian plastic surgeon what he uses for breast implants He just replied "Si"
  8. How does a woman with breast implants sing? With a false set-o
  9. What do you call trendy internal prosthetics? Hip implants
  10. "Thanks for the gold, kind stranger" I told as I was taking away his dental implant.
  11. What do you call cleavage on a girl with implants? Silicon valley.
  12. What do you call the cleavage of someone with breast implants? Silicone Valley
  13. A local plastic surgeon started giving away free breast implants... They're up for grabs.
  14. What do you call cross dressers with breast implants? Booby traps.
  15. I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it … So I said, "implants?"

Breast Implants Jokes

Here is a list of funny breast implants jokes and even better breast implants puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • It's sad when a woman has to get breast implants just to keep her husband interested...'s even worse when his are still bigger.
  • How do you call a clown's breast implants that are pointy instead of round? Silly cones.
  • What do you call a flower's breast augmentation? Implants.
  • Where did Steve Job's wife get her breast implants? Silicon Valley
  • What do you call a drag queen with breast implants? A booby trap
  • Getting breast implants is an experience you'll never forget. Those mammaries will stay with you forever.
  • [Blonde] Why are all the blondes rushing to get breast implants? Because they don't want to pay the flat tax.
  • Breast implant patient in appreciation for the surgeon's work said: "Thanks for the mammaries!"
  • My friend got caught and thrown... ... in the slammer for stealing a consignment of breast implants.
    he's a silicone
  • My wife is getting breast implants. She just doesn't know it yet.
Implants joke, My wife is getting breast implants.

Howlingly Hilarious Implants Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about implants you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean false teeth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make implants pranks.

Difference between Port Authority and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station...
The other's a b**... crustacean!

New kinds of implants.

So a girl went into a plastic surgery clinic to get a breast e**..., the doctors told her that they ran out of silicon and all they had left was wood. She didn't get it obviously that would be s**... woodentit?

What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

Ones a crusty bus station, the others a b**... crustacean.

What's the difference between a dilapidated bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

…One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a b**... crustacean!
(My husband groaned loudly when I told him this one, so I knew it was pretty good.)

What's the difference is between a lobster with breast implants and a filthy bus depot?

One is a b**... crustacean and the other is a crusty bus-station!
*edited because I s**... up my original punchline...

Did you hear about the brain implant that can fix s**...?

It's called a bullet.

Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with implants?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is b**... crustacean

A man with 12 kids visits his Dr., asking for advice on how to prevent future pregnancies...

Have you tried condoms? Asks the Dr.
I did, and it resulted in 3 kids! said the man.
Have you tried birth control?
I did! And it resulted in another 3 kids!
Have you tried IUD (intrauterine implants)?
I did! And it STILL resulted in 3 kids!
Confounded, the Dr. says bluntly, well, have you tried not sleeping with your wife?
I did! And it STILL resulted in 3 kids!!

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with breast implants?

One is a Crusty Bus Station and the other is a b**... crustacean


Apple announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The iBoob will cost between $499 and $699, depending on the speaker size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their b**... and not listening to them.

Always wondered about using oak instead of silicon for breast implants

Be a lot firmer, wooden t**...?

What's the difference between an old bus station and Mr. Krabs with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station, while the other's a b**... crustacean

After decades of marriage, a woman tells her husband that she wants breast implants...

The husband tells her that breast augmentation surgery is too expensive and that they should try to find some alternatives.
"Well, what would you suggest?" asks the wife.
The husband responds, "At least once per day, you should take a w**... of paper and slide it between your b**.... If you do it long enough, your b**... will get bigger."
"How the h**... is that supposed to give me bigger t**...??" she exclaims.
"Well, it's worked for your a**..., hasn't it?"

My wife said she'd like us to save money for her to get breast implants

I told her, Why? All you need to do is rub some toilet paper between your b**... every day.
She said, What the h**... is that going to do?
I said, I don't know but it seems to have worked wonders on your a**....

What's the difference between a dusty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

Ones a crusty bus station and ones a b**... crustacean

Implants joke, Did you hear that McDonald's is implanting all of its employees with technology that gives them all

jokes about implants