The Best 49 Implants Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Implants jokes. There are some implants lasik jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these implants crustacean puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Implants Jokes and Puns

Difference between Port Authority and a lobster with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station...

The other's a busty crustacean!

New kinds of implants.

So a girl went into a plastic surgery clinic to get a breast enlargement, the doctors told her that they ran out of silicon and all they had left was wood. She didn't get it obviously that would be stupid woodentit?

It's sad when a woman has to get breast implants just to keep her husband interested...

...it's even worse when his are still bigger.

Did you hear about the lady that had breast implants made of oak?

It would be nice if this joke had a punch line, woodentit?

jokes about implants

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it …

So I said, "implants?"


Magic is like breast implants...

...we all know its fake, but when done well, can give you a feeling of true wonder

What do you call the cleavage of someone with breast implants?

Silicone Valley

Implants joke, What do you call the cleavage of someone with breast implants?

What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

Ones a crusty bus station, the others a busty crustacean.

I had to fire my secretary after she got implants...

She used to work for a flat rate, then she demanded I pay her an inflated rate.

What's the difference between a dilapidated bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

…One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean!

(My husband groaned loudly when I told him this one, so I knew it was pretty good.)

What's the difference is between a lobster with breast implants and a filthy bus depot?

One is a busty crustacean and the other is a crusty bus-station!
*edited because I screwed up my original punchline...

You can explore implants liposuction reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean implants silicone dad jokes. There are also implants puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I once met a woman with wooden breast implants

This joke would be funny with a punchline, wouldn't it?

A local plastic surgeon started giving away free breast implants...

They're up for grabs.

Whats around $5000+ and enhances personality?

Breast implants.

How does a woman with breast implants sing?

With a false set-o

What do you call cleavage on a girl with implants?

Silicon valley.

Implants joke, What do you call cleavage on a girl with implants?

[Blonde] Why are all the blondes rushing to get breast implants?

Because they don't want to pay the flat tax.

At the mall

I was at the mall yesterday and there was a girl with a really tight t-shirt that said: "Guess".

I'm thinking that "Implants" was the wrong thing to say...

What do you call cross dressers with breast implants?

Booby traps.


Buying implants is like buying tires.

Never get an odd number.

Breast implants are like potato chips.

You can't have just one.

Natural Breast Implants

Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with implants?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is busty crustacean

My wife is getting breast implants.

She just doesn't know it yet.

What do you call a crackhouse that sells breast implants?

A boobie trap..

Getting breast implants is an experience you'll never forget.

Those mammaries will stay with you forever.

Implants joke, Getting breast implants is an experience you'll never forget.

Q: What do you call the cleavage between breast implants?

A: Silicon Valley

My friend got caught and thrown...

... in the slammer for stealing a consignment of breast implants.
he's a silicone

What do you call a drag queen with breast implants?

A booby trap


A man with 12 kids visits his Dr., asking for advice on how to prevent future pregnancies...

Have you tried condoms? Asks the Dr.

I did, and it resulted in 3 kids! said the man.

Have you tried birth control?

I did! And it resulted in another 3 kids!

Have you tried IUD (intrauterine implants)?

I did! And it STILL resulted in 3 kids!

Confounded, the Dr. says bluntly, well, have you tried not sleeping with your wife?

I did! And it STILL resulted in 3 kids!!

What's the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a filthy, old bus stop?

One's a busty crustacean, the other is a crusty bus station!

(pls forgive me if you've heard this one before)

What's the difference between a dilapidated public transit stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

How do you call a clown's breast implants that are pointy instead of round?

Silly cones.

Where did Steve Job's wife get her breast implants?

Silicon Valley


Why did the Alabama family pay for their daughter's butt implants?

It was a decision they could all get behind

What do you call a flower's breast augmentation?

Implants.

What do you call someone who's clueless about breast implants?

Boob noob

I asked an Italian plastic surgeon what he uses for breast implants

He just replied "Si"

My blonde friend got breast implants

I used to call her " little Connie", now she's just "Silicone"

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a crab with breast implants?

One is a Crusty Bus Station and the other is a busty crustacean

What is another term for a lung transplant?

Breath Implants

What do you call trendy internal prosthetics?

Hip implants

She was wearing a t-shirt that said Guess

So I asked her ... Implants?

iBoob

Apple announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The iBoob will cost between $499 and $699, depending on the speaker size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Always wondered about using oak instead of silicon for breast implants

Be a lot firmer, wooden tit?

What's the difference between an old bus station and Mr. Krabs with breast implants?

One's a crusty bus station, while the other's a busty crustacean

After decades of marriage, a woman tells her husband that she wants breast implants...

The husband tells her that breast augmentation surgery is too expensive and that they should try to find some alternatives.

"Well, what would you suggest?" asks the wife.

The husband responds, "At least once per day, you should take a wad of paper and slide it between your boobs. If you do it long enough, your boobs will get bigger."

"How the hell is that supposed to give me bigger tits??" she exclaims.

"Well, it's worked for your ass, hasn't it?"

What did 3 say to 8

Well, I see you went and got the implants!

My wife said she'd like us to save money for her to get breast implants

I told her, Why? All you need to do is rub some toilet paper between your breasts every day.

She said, What the hell is that going to do?

I said, I don't know but it seems to have worked wonders on your ass.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the implants mastectomy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working implants perky piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes