Imperialism Jokes
60 imperialism jokes and hilarious imperialism puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about imperialism that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Imperialism Short Jokes
Short imperialism jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The imperialism humour may include short jokes also.
- How do we know that Darth Vader is American? Because he marches to the Imperial March and not the Metric March
- What does Augustus Caesar and a straight stick used for measuring inches have in common? They're both imperial rulers
- Why was Imperial Japan so weak? Because it only took a little boy and a fat man to take it down
- An Imperial Roman soldier was wounded on the battlefield. His life was saved when he was time traveled to the modern world to be hooked up to an IV. He asked, "What is that for?"
- People really need to start calling out US imperialism. I can't believe they haven't switched to the metric system yet.
- why couldn't the imperial guard sniff out the money trail in skyrim? because of a deviated septim
- Japan's economy crashed in the 90s because their housing bubble was so bad, the Imperial Palace was worth all the land in California. I *wish* houses out here could still be that cheap!
- What's Imperial Britain's favorite game? Clash of Clans
- I hate the Imperial System; it's so confusing! I will always use Metric… Every inch of the way!
- What do you call it when Darth Vader moves one foot? The Imperial March
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Imperialism One Liners
Which imperialism one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with imperialism? I can suggest the ones about and .
- What is Darth Vader's favorite month? Imperial March
- Why was the Death Star measured in miles? Because they used Imperial units.
- Who performed the Imperial Roman version of "Can't Touch This"? 1100 Hammer
- I lost 80 pounds last week I simply switched from imperial to metric
- What does an aging Sith lord with a bad hip use to get around? An Imperial Walker
- What's Darth Vader favourite measurement system? The Imperial System
- What do you call a zombie Storm Trooper? An Imperial Walker
- The U.S is so hypocritical Claims to be a republic, yet uses the imperial system...
- Maritime Imperial Unit Puns You can't even fathom how many there are
- The wizard of oz was imperial. Bit the Wizard of CC was metric.
- What unit of measurement do Jedi use? Imperial
- What is the Rebel Alliance' least favorite month? The Imperial March.
- I've heard that imperial system has a lot of advantages. As a European, I only see fl oz.
- What was King Leopold II's favorite approach to imperialism? A hand's off approach
- Why does America use the imperial system? Because they are *miles* behind
Imperialism Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about imperialism you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make imperialism pranks.
Back in WWII, the Marine Corps used Navajo speakers as "code talkers"...
The other Marines were always impressed with the enigmatic skills the Navajos had in predicting weather, where to find water, and tracking ability.
One day on a patrol, a Navajo Marine on point came across a footprint ostensibly left by the enemy.
"The man who left this footprint is an Imperial soldier. He stands five-foot-six tall and weighs 120 pounds..."
The Navajo proceeded to recite a litany of information on the man who left the tracks.
Amazed, one of the others remarked: "You got all that from a footprint??"
"No. We got his license."
So the Judge says "OK, I see that circumstance and duress made you eat the endangered spotted owl. NOT guilty." Then he leans over and whispers "Between you and me, what does a spotted owl actually taste like?"
The accused says "A cross between a bald eagle and an Amazon Imperial Parrot."
How can you tell that the movie Martian is not realistic?
Because Americans use imperial unit system.
What evil do the USA and Darth Vader have in common?
Using imperial units.
What does Emperor Palpatine use to get around in his declining years?
An imperial walker
What do you call an Imperial Blaster in the Wild West?
A sith shooter
The Imperial Wizard of the k**... was just found dead near a river in Missouri...
Man, the moment the EPA gets threatened people start dropping w**... in our water.
I have an obsession with the imperial measurement system...
...I guess it should be considered a f**....
If you say imperialism 5 times fast....
America will come and take your oil.
An old political joke from Imperial Russia (reign of Nicholas II)
A man yells in the street: "Nicholas is a m**...!". He is taken away by the police on charges of lese majeste (insulting the monarch). He tells the policemen "Please let me go, I meant another Nicholas!". The police chief replies: "Do not lie. If you said m**...', you certainly meant the Czar!"
I've heard so many theories about why America won't drop the imperial system
But we all know it's really just a f**...
How long have imperial units been used fur?
Fur long.
What did the holy Roman emperor do when he wanted to lose weight
He went on an imperial diet
Joke dad did with doc and got a brief confused look before a chuckle
After saying the heart rate out loud (in beats per minute) dad asked if that was metric or imperial values.
Which would win in a battle?
-- An Imperial Star Cruiser or a Metric Star Cruiser?
Why is Metric Better?
Imperial is lit, but Metric is Liter
You're a wizard Harry!
Said the Imperial Wizard.
What would happen if the United States switched from imperial to metric units overnight?
There would be mass confusion.
He: I have a f**......
She: An uncontrollable desire to return to the imperial measurement system??
There are fuckups, there are royal fuckups, and then there was NASA crashing a spaceship because they confused pounds and kilos.
That was an *Imperial* f**....