Imperial Jokes

51 imperial jokes and hilarious imperial puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about imperial that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

If you've ever had to struggle with the differences between the imperial and metric systems, you're not alone! This article showcases some of the funniest imperial jokes around related to the imperial system, imperial measures, and the differences between imperial and metric measurements. Check it out for a good laugh.

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Funniest Imperial Short Jokes

Short imperial jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The imperial humour may include short empire jokes also.

  1. How do we know that Darth Vader is American? Because he marches to the Imperial March and not the Metric March
  2. What does Augustus Caesar and a straight stick used for measuring inches have in common? They're both imperial rulers
  3. Why was Imperial Japan so weak? Because it only took a little boy and a fat man to take it down
  4. An Imperial Roman soldier was wounded on the battlefield. His life was saved when he was time traveled to the modern world to be hooked up to an IV. He asked, "What is that for?"
  5. People really need to start calling out US imperialism. I can't believe they haven't switched to the metric system yet.
  6. why couldn't the imperial guard sniff out the money trail in skyrim? because of a deviated septim
  7. Japan's economy crashed in the 90s because their housing bubble was so bad, the Imperial Palace was worth all the land in California. I *wish* houses out here could still be that cheap!
  8. What's Imperial Britain's favorite game? Clash of Clans
  9. I hate the Imperial System; it's so confusing! I will always use Metric… Every inch of the way!
  10. What do you call it when Darth Vader moves one foot? The Imperial March

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Imperial One Liners

Which imperial one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with imperial? I can suggest the ones about emperor and royal.

  1. What is Darth Vader's favorite month? Imperial March
  2. Why was the Death Star measured in miles? Because they used Imperial units.
  3. Who performed the Imperial Roman version of "Can't Touch This"? 1100 Hammer
  4. I lost 80 pounds last week I simply switched from imperial to metric
  5. What does an aging Sith lord with a bad hip use to get around? An Imperial Walker
  6. What's Darth Vader favourite measurement system? The Imperial System
  7. What do you call a zombie Storm Trooper? An Imperial Walker
  8. The U.S is so hypocritical Claims to be a republic, yet uses the imperial system...
  9. Maritime Imperial Unit Puns You can't even fathom how many there are
  10. The wizard of oz was imperial. Bit the Wizard of CC was metric.
  11. What unit of measurement do Jedi use? Imperial
  12. What is the Rebel Alliance' least favorite month? The Imperial March.
  13. I've heard that imperial system has a lot of advantages. As a European, I only see fl oz.
  14. What was King Leopold II's favorite approach to imperialism? A hand's off approach
  15. Why does America use the imperial system? Because they are *miles* behind

Imperial System Jokes

Here is a list of funny imperial system jokes and even better imperial system puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How can you tell that the movie Martian is not realistic? Because Americans use imperial unit system.
  • I've heard so many theories about why America won't drop the imperial system But we all know it's really just a f**...
  • He: I have a f**...... She: An uncontrollable desire to return to the imperial measurement system??
  • I have an obsession with the imperial measurement system... ...I guess it should be considered a f**....

Imperial Wizard Jokes

Here is a list of funny imperial wizard jokes and even better imperial wizard puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • You're a wizard Harry! Said the Imperial Wizard.
  • The Imperial Wizard of the k**... was just found dead near a river in Missouri... Man, the moment the EPA gets threatened people start dropping w**... in our water.
Imperial joke, The Imperial Wizard of the k**... was just found dead near a <a href="/river-jokes.html" title="Rive

Comical & Quirky Imperial Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about imperial you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean british empire jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make imperial pranks.

An old political joke from Imperial Russia (reign of Nicholas II)

A man yells in the street: "Nicholas is a m**...!". He is taken away by the police on charges of lese majeste (insulting the monarch). He tells the policemen "Please let me go, I meant another Nicholas!". The police chief replies: "Do not lie. If you said m**...', you certainly meant the Czar!"

There are fuckups, there are royal fuckups, and then there was NASA crashing a spaceship because they confused pounds and kilos.

That was an *Imperial* f**....

So the Judge says "OK, I see that circumstance and duress made you eat the endangered spotted owl. NOT guilty." Then he leans over and whispers "Between you and me, what does a spotted owl actually taste like?"

The accused says "A cross between a bald eagle and an Amazon Imperial Parrot."

Imperial joke, What's Imperial Britain's favorite game?