Impending Jokes
6 impending jokes and hilarious impending puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about impending that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Share Hilarious Impending Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What is a good impending joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Guy bursts into a dentist's office
Guy bursts into a dentist's office and says "HEY, listen here buddy, you have to help me NOW: my teeth are SO sensitive they can sense impending EARTHQUAKES" the dentist looked at him sternly for a moment and said "you've got some nerve"
Dr: "I have some good news and some bad news Spiderman. The good news is that the constant tingling sensation isn't your Spidey sense warning you of some huge, impending calamity!"
"What's the bad news Doc?"
"Well son, what do you know about g**... h**...?"
A lion walks into a bar...
Several people get up and leave predicting the impending danger.
Two old men are in the middle of a conversation...
When one old man tells the other, "My old friend my time is coming and all I ask from you is that when I die, you put two packs of cigarettes in my grave." His friend sits still in silence thinking about his friend's kick impending death when suddenly he asks, "Ok my friend, I'll stick a lighter in there for you too." His friend starts to laugh and says, "Oh no, don't go through that trouble. Where I'm going I won't need a lighter."
What did the feminist say after hearing her impending misfortune?
Oh, men.
The Crow Mystery
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.
However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviorist very quickly concluded the cause: when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
The scientific conclusion was that while all the lookout crows could say "Cah", none could say "Truck."
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