Impeccable Jokes
21 impeccable jokes and hilarious impeccable puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about impeccable that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Impeccable Short Jokes
Short impeccable jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The impeccable humour may include short impressive jokes also.
- What's the worst thing for a cannibal to say to a friend? Your family has impeccable taste.
- What did the clock say to the metronome after his stand-up routine? The jokes need some work, but your timing is impeccable
- I just saw a theater performance called "The Woodpecker and the Metal Pole" The performance was impeccable!
- Girl, am I a loan offered to ppl with impeccable credit and a long history of timely payments? Bc I have 0 interest
- So my kid walks inside and says, 'Hey mom, can we get one of those new chicken proof lawns for the backyard? I hear they're impeccable".
- Why should you wear your nicest outfit if you're going to be attacked by birds? Because you'll want to be impeccable.
- Chad always has an impeccable fashion sense, even when he's not trying People ask him how he does it and he tells them, "Well, I didn't stay in the closet all those years for nothing".
- Did you hear about the fighting rooster who never lost a fight? His record was impeccable.
- Did you hear about the courier who became a successful comedian? The jokes were nothing special, but his delivery was impeccable.
- I bought a Rolex before trying & failing at stand up comedy. Apparently you need more than impeccable timing.
Share These Impeccable Jokes With Friends
Impeccable One Liners
Which impeccable one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with impeccable? I can suggest the ones about perfect and excellent.
- I have a chicken proof lawn… It's impeccable…
- I've chicken proofed my lawn It's impeccable
- You can't win an argument with a chicken. It's logic is impeccable.
- What do you call steel chicken feed? Impeccable.
- My grammar may be poor, but my grilling is impeccable. I'd steak my reputation on that.
- What kind of rooster is garunteed to win a c**...? An impeccable one.
Unearthly Funniest Impeccable Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about impeccable you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean top notch jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make impeccable pranks.
My flight instructor told me this one. Nothing to do with flying.
A man's wife is staring at herself in the mirror and frowning. She turns to her husband and says "Honey, I feel fat, old, and ugly. I could really use a compliment right now." To which the husband replies "Darling, your eyesight is impeccable."
German spies
During the war, two German spies were sent to London to gather valuable intel. To immerse themselves in the local culture they walk into a local pub and walk up to the bar. The first German says to the barman in an impeccable English accent
"May I have two Martinis please?"
"Dry?" asked the barman.
The German replied, holding up two fingers.
"Nein! Zwei!"
A rabbi and a priest are discussing their dreams
"I dreamt of the jewish heaven the other night" says the priest "It was horrible, a slum overflowing with people! It was chaos, I tell you, all the people talking and walking around! And making so much noise... Thank God I woke up from that nightmare!"
"Interesting" says the rabbi "The other night I dreamt of the christian heaven. It was the perfect neighbourhood, every house was impeccable, with well-kept lawns and streets!"
"And how were the people?" asks the priest
"People?"
Selling brains for charity
Obama and Trump are asked to sell their brains for charity.
Obama offers his brains for $100,000.
"Why so much?", someone asks.
"Well", Obama says, "I studied Law at Harvard. My brains are extremely well developed".
Trump offers his brains for $10,000,000.
"That's a lot!", someone exclaims.
"Let me tell you something", says Trump, "My brains are fantastic. They are great. They are the best brains, it's true. I have a great relationship with my brains. They are good brains, and very pretty too! I guarantee you, they are impeccable, brand new, never used."
