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Impact Jokes

70 impact jokes and hilarious impact puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about impact that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article investigates the impact of Genshin Impact jokes on society. It explores how jokes made by influencers can have serious consequences and can cause lasting harm. It examines the issues created by this type of humour, such as normalizing harmful stereotypes and increasing the chances of online bullying. It also looks at potential solutions to mitigate the negative effects of these jokes.

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Funniest Impact Short Jokes

Short impact jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The impact humour may include short effect jokes also.

  1. Thanos' finger snap would have a greater impact if they found a way to make it seem like half the audience disappeared. Apparently only DC movies can do that.
  2. Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and body-slam them for maximum impact.
  3. What's the difference between dark matter and Black Lives Matter? Dark matter has the capacity to leave an impact on a system
  4. I have read so many things about the impact of smoking and drinking alcohol I think I will quit reading soon.
  5. It's important for military engineers to know what an impact driver is. This is not a drill
  6. I asked 50 lighting strike survivors about the impact it had on their lives... The results were shocking.
  7. What do you call a scientific talk about the psychological impact of cannibalism? A Hannibal Lecture.
  8. iPhone users, don't bother sending the Meteor emoji to your Android friends... ...It won't have the same impact.
  9. The one who created the memes font really changed the world. I mean, he really made an Impact.
  10. Somebody says video games don't have any impact on your psyche. I can't agree with that. My Ex-girlfriend played Tetris a lot in her childhood.

    She's still waiting for a long stick.

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Impact One Liners

Which impact one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with impact? I can suggest the ones about interaction and collision.

  1. A man died in a tragic skydiving accident. Some say he left an impact on the world.
  2. Faith may not be able to move mountains But I've seen the impact it has on buildings.
  3. Did you hear about the Russian parachute? It opens on Impact
  4. strike at suppository factory many impacted
  5. So your momma walks into a bar the bar breaks upon impact
  6. What four letter word has made the biggest impact in the modern world? Send.
  7. When the moon hits your eye... You have probably died from the impact.
  8. A man told me to invest in his impact shovel. Apparently it's groundbreaking technology.
  9. What did the dentist say to his patient when he got his drill out? Brace for impact.
  10. Why did The Great Depression have such great impact. Because it came with influenza
  11. My latest invention went down quite well. It's a parachute, that opens on impact.
  12. Feminist campaigns are usually more impactful when championed by a man. Like most things.
  13. Chester Bennington had a monumental impact on music But at the end it didn't even matter
  14. There was an attack on Kansas Misouri was also slightly impacted, but Oklahoma's OK.
  15. I think James A. Garfield Presidency was impactful He really trained for it

Impact joke, I think James A. Garfield Presidency was impactful

Silly Impact Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about impact you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean revolution jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make impact pranks.

Impact of a job change.

A taxi passenger touched the driver on shoulder to ask something
Driver screamed, lost control of the car, went up on the footpath & Stopped few centimeters from a shop
The driver said: "Don't ever do that again man! You scared me!"
Passenger apologized and said: "I didn't realize a little touch would scare you so much"
Driver replied: "Sorry, it's not your fault
Its my 1st day as a Cab driver...I've been driving a van carrying dead bodies for last 25 yrs

Positive...

James finds a friend whom he hasn't spoken with for a long time, so to be nice, he breaks the ice:
" -Hey Oscar, how are you doing?"
" -Terrible."
" -What?! What about your Ferrari?"
" -Wrecked in an accident... and the insurance had just expired."
" -Well, you win some, you lose some... And what about your son, the intelectual one?"
" -He was the one driving the Ferrari. Died upon impact."
" -But what about your beautiful daughter, didn't she say she wanted to be a model or something?"
" -She did, yeah... And was with her brother. She died too. Only person who wasn't in the car was my wife."
" -Oh thank God! How is she?"
" -She ran off with my bussiness partner."
" -Well, at least you got the company."
" -Yeah, a bankrupt one... I owe millions."
" -Jesus, dude! Do you have anything positive in your life?"
" -Yeah, h**...."

My friend had his assignment on plagiarism stolen so he copied mine.

He then proceeded to take a course on Nihilism but it ended up not having a meaningful impact on his transcript.

It would be great to be born on Earth and die on Mars.

Preferably not on the point of impact.

In order to promote progress I think the next session of congress should be sent to the moon.

I just feel that they would make a greater impact.

Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"

Defendent: "Gucci Sweats and Sum Jordan's"

Stallman, Torvalds and Knuth have a conversation.

Richard M. Stallman, Linus Torvalds, and Donald E. Knuth
engage in a discussion on whose impact
on the computerized world was the greatest.
Stallman: "God told me I have programmed the best editor in the world!"
Torvalds: "Well, God told *me* that I have programmed the best operating system in the world!"
Knuth: "Wait, wait - I never said that."

President Obama announces his intention to serve on the U.S. Supreme Court

"I can't wait until I'm in a position to have a real impact on the country!" said an excited Obama.

The Worst Natural Disaster

So, all the natural disasters took a vote to see which one was the worst.
* Hurricane blew the others away.
* Earthquake shook things up pretty badly.
* Flooding was a bit of a wash.
* Blizzard almost buried the rest.
* Sinkhole's campaign totally collapsed.
* Meteor made a deep impact.
But in the end, Avalanche won by a landslide.

Now, that I think about it, a piano is actually quite racist

The white ones are considered to have more impact

I s**... identify as an attack helicopter.

Because I explode on impact.

Why is jumping from great heights the most influential way to die?

Because you make an impact

Chuck Norris threw an impact grenade and killed one hundred people.

Then the grenade blew up.

I want to make an impact on the planet that lasts long after I'm gone

That's why I drive a h**...

Why do scuba divers dive backwards?

Cause if they dived forward they would fell on the boat.
Real reason so that the eye and nose masks don't get filled with water on the impact straightforward and the oxygen tanks are heavy and it would exert less strain on the back. A prudent way.
Throwback Thursday Joke
Edited few grammar mistakes.

Geologists may not always get along, but when the schist hits the fan...

Its coarse-grained, metamorphic layers can be split into thin irregular plates from the impact.

Modern historians have a new hypothesis for what caused the death of Helen of Troy...

It was the impact trauma from her face launching a thousand ships, long before champagne was invented.

Thomas always wanted to change the World...

it wasn't until he fell out the 40th story window, however, that he made a real impact.

I was in a high-speed car c**... today.

Luckily I work for the FCC so I was going 5 mph on impact.

4 out of 5 Dentists are becoming concerned about the impact of the current presidency on tooth enamel health

You never know when one of his tweets will Make America Grate Again.

Impact of Job Change!!

One day, A taxi passenger touched driver on his shoulder to ask something. Driver screamed, lost control of car, went up on footpath & stopped few inches from a shop.
The passenger apologised & said: "I didn't realise that a little touch would scare you so much"
Driver replied: Sorry it's not your fault, it's my 1st day as a cab driver, I've been driving a van carrying dead bodies from last 25 years.

Human fetuses are essentially the same as the creature from Alien. Only they take longer to gestate, and if they don't kill you on impact, they'll do it slowly over the course of years...

My mom says such silly things when she drinks hehe

The majority of Americans said driverless cars will have a big impact on the elderly people

, specifically if they don't cross the stress fast enough.

United Airlines is so weird. It's the only airline that has the captain continuously yelling "brace for impact" during the boarding process.

How do car companies measure the impact of a collision

A c**... test, d**...

Someone somewhere out there is thinking about you and the positive impact you had on their lives.

It's not me. I think you're messed up.

A man declares that he will be the first person to jump out of a plane without a parachute

The man jumps out and dies on impact with the ground.
He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Of all the people in my life that have inspired me to achieve greatness...

I would say the most inspirational was an obese man I saw cliff jump into the sea.
He had a massive impact.

My wife and her friends were talking about feminism when they asked me if thought it had a positive impact on women.

Apparently, saying "Well, not all women with daddy issues are pretty enough to be strippers" isn't a valid answer.

Thanos's snap in infinity war would've had a greater impact if marvel made it seem that half of the audience wasn't there,

But apparently only DC movies can do that.

The blond reared back and clenched his fist

With all his might, he punched the tree, and the force of the impact broke his hand. "Ouch! I thought you said this tree was bouncy!"
His friend face palmed. "No, I said it was a rubber tree."

There was a frozen ball of ice hurdling towards the earth.

Scientists had first guessed it was too small to do much damage.
Later, they reassessed and realized this collision would be on par with the impact that wiped out the dinosaurs.
It was an underrated comet.

Three Nuns

Three nuns are walking down a street when they get hit by a drunk driver in a semi truck; dead on impact. Now they are waiting at the gate to be let into heaven. They are told they each have to answer one question correctly to be let in. If they answer wrong, they go straight to h**.... The first nun is asked what was the name or the first woman. She says Eve; bells ring and the gate opens. The second nun is asked what was the name of the first man. She answers Adam, and she is allowed to enter. The final nun was asked the first thing Eve said to Adam. So sits and thinks for twenty minutes or so before finally giving up and saying "That's a hard one." The bells ring and the gate opens.

When I die

I'm going to get put in a rocket and be launched into the moon. That way my descendants can look at the c**... site and see the impact I've made.

What did they say about the artist who completed s**... by jumping off a building?

Well, at least they finally made an impact on the world.

Please stop including corny details about your family as a blatant ploy to garner additional upvotes and awards by increasing the emotional impact of your post.

This was said to me just now by my 3 year old. So proud! Got a real eye roll from my wife too, so I know it was a good one. Tinged with sadness though, as it reminds me own dad, who went out to get milk and never came back

Impact joke, Did you hear about the Russian parachute?

jokes about impact