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Immune Jokes

45 immune jokes and hilarious immune puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about immune that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover a collection of humorous immune system jokes that will make you think twice about what it means to be susceptible and infectious. From Polaroid puns to risqué double entendres, these jokes will make you laugh out loud.

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Funniest Immune Short Jokes

Short immune jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The immune humour may include short immunity jokes also.

  1. Why do I always feel great on Saturday and Sunday, and sick on all the other days? Maybe I just have a weekend immune system.
  2. I have a mysterious illness where I seem to get sick only during the work week. So, I went to my doctor. He said it was a weekend immune system.
  3. My 93-year-old grandma has rheumatoid arthritis and is slow at crosswalks. Yesterday, she got hit by a car. She's perfectly fine -- she has an auto-immune disease!
  4. If smiling is contagious... ...then Russian Women must have a vaccine or built an immunity or something.
  5. Scientists have declared that ants are immune to COVID-19.... They think its probably because they have.... anty bodies
  6. I wish i had the immune system of an African baby I've heard they only get sick once in their whole lives.
  7. [OC] My kids seem to magically only get sick on school days...and quite a lot of them. It's like they've got weekend immune systems.
  8. I just discovered I can't get sick on Saturdays or Sundays Turns out I have a weekend immune system.
  9. Kids are sick so the wife is worried about their weakened immune system making it easier to catch COVID… So I asked her what about their weekday immune system?
  10. Glasses wearers are less likely to get Covid-19... I guess you could say we have nerd immunity.

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Immune One Liners

Which immune one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with immune? I can suggest the ones about enemy and invisible.

  1. Boss: How is it that you are always sick on weekdays? Me: It's my weekend immune system.
  2. What Johnny Depp needs is not a vaccine… He needs Heard Immunity.
  3. Why did Johnny Depp lose his court case? Because he didn't have Heard immunity
  4. What type of cancer is an anarchist immune to? Prostate
  5. Why do most employees get sick on work days? Because of their weekend immune system.
  6. Why dont ambassadors get sick? Diplomatic immunity
  7. My body only fights off illness on Saturday and Sunday I have a weekend immune system
  8. "On the plus side, I am completely immune to flash-bang grenades" - probably Helen Keller
  9. Your momma's so fat She achieved herd immunity by herself
  10. Yo mama is so fat When she took the vaccine she got herd immunity
  11. Johnny Depp refuses to get another dose of the vaccine He says he now has Heard immunity
  12. During the week I keep getting sick all the time. I must have a weekend immune system
  13. WHAT DO WE WANT? HERD IMMUNITY! AND WHEN DO WE WANT TO HEAR IT?
    (Ok, I see myself out)
  14. I have a joke on immunity... but you have probably herd it.
  15. Why did Johnny Depp skip getting a booster shot? Because he now has Heard immunity .

Immune System Jokes

Here is a list of funny immune system jokes and even better immune system puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My boss said "I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays." I said, "It must be my weekend immune system."
  • My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days I said it must be my weekend immune system
  • One thing I have noticed over the last few months is that I'm sick only on weekdays. It must be my weekend immune system.
  • My immune system is racist Every time it finds a foreign body it tries to eliminate it.
  • Did you hear about the viruses who started their own in-cell movement? They think it's unfair that plants and animals have their own immune systems.
  • T cells Killer T cells are where your immune system finds and destroys infected cells that have turned into virus-making factories.
    Mr. T cells are where they pity the bacterial fools.
  • Why do some people drink for health? They think it will booze their immune system.
  • Why do whales have really good immune systems? They consume a lot of vitamin SEA!
  • I always felt bad for people with h**.../aids They got weekend immune systems, they can't go outside on weekdays
Immune joke, I always felt bad for people with h**.../aids

Unearthly Funniest Immune Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about immune you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean anti jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make immune pranks.

The mind of a fool is immune to change, and who can think it strange? The reasons clear for all to know...

A fool has no mind to change.

What disease are anti-vax kids immune to?

Adulthood. I hope this isn't taken.

Alcohol Addiction

My anxiety has been in overdrive since the start of the Pandemic. I feel like I need more and more alcohol everyday.
I am going through at least a liter of the hard stuff everyday.
I start using as soon as I wake up and don't stop until I go to bed each night.
My Dr. says I need to slow down now. Even in the short term my addiction is affecting my fertility, damaging my immune system, and dehydrating my skin.
Before the start of the Pandemic, I never would have thought my hands could consume more alcohol than my mouth.

Africans are immune to cholera

I mean first off cholera lives in water

Lice are immune to corona

makes scientists all over the world scratch their head

Immune joke, Lice are immune to corona